u/Upper_Palpitation553

orally, that is. she has some serious insecurities and fears around sex and her body due to a past abusive ex. apparently he made very specific and cruel comments that made her very self-conscious and unwilling to receive oral or explore some other things. it makes it feel unbalanced and i feel guilty. i think i might like giving head even more than receiving or penetrative sex. she just always stuff like "you don't want to do that," or that vulvas aren't "meant" to be eaten due to x, y, z.

we've made so much progress in the 1 year+ we've been together and i can see her slowly starting to trust me and let her guard down. she had sex with me for the first time when it was slightly light out, which was a huge step considering she always tries to make it as dark as possible.

Is there anything I could say or do to make her more receptive to trying new things down the line? I don't want to overwhelm her or introduce anything crazy, i just really really want to eat her out and it's all i can think about lately

So I'm a 24 M and been with my girlfriend [F25, can't edit title typo] for a little over a year now. We've come a LONG way in our relationship and I'm so grateful for her. She had an incredibly abusive ex that verbally berated her in every way imaginable, mostly about her body and looks etc. Those insecurities are obviously hard to leave behind.

She shared a few months into our relationship that she has severe body dysmorphia and a lot of fears and insecurities when it comes to sex and her body. I've tried my very best to be excessively complimentary and positive but sometimes it feels like she thinks I'm laying it on thick or being disingenuous. I never say anything I don't 100% believe.

I'm just trying to be slow and patient with her because I know how badly she was hurt before and she's perfect in every way possible. I absolutely adore her and I wish she could see herself the way I see her. She won't allow lights on during sex and when it comes to *certain* acts, she always insists on giving rather than receiving. I've never wanted anything MORE in my life than to just eat her out and show her how into her I am but she has some serious trauma there specifically from her ex being awful and making horrible comments about her during that act. It makes me sad how so she's soooo cautious and nervous all the time. I want her to enjoy herself and to feel incredible, not so stressed out all the time.

She always insists that it's not me, that I'm the most attentive bf she's had, and that she's attracted to me but sometimes the anxiety can override that. I know usually to not take it personally but I just want to earn her trust.

What can I do to help build her self-esteem aside from being patient and continuing to reassure her?

So I'm a 24 M and been with my girlfriend [F25], for a little over a year now. We've come a LONG way in our relationship and I'm so grateful for her. She had an incredibly abusive ex that verbally berated her in every way imaginable, mostly about her body and looks etc. Those insecurities are obviously hard to leave behind.

She shared a few months into our relationship that she has severe body dysmorphia and a lot of fears and insecurities when it comes to sex and her body. I've tried my very best to be excessively complimentary and positive but sometimes it feels like she thinks I'm laying it on thick or being disingenuous. I never say anything I don't 100% believe.

I'm just trying to be slow and patient with her because I know how badly she was hurt before and she's perfect in every way possible. I absolutely adore her and I wish she could see herself the way I see her. She won't allow lights on during sex and when it comes to *certain* acts, she always insists on giving rather than receiving. I've never wanted anything MORE in my life than to just eat her out and show her how into her I am but she has some serious trauma there specifically from her ex being awful and making horrible comments about her during that act. It makes me sad how so she's soooo cautious and nervous all the time. I want her to enjoy herself and to feel incredible, not so stressed out all the time.

She always insists that it's not me, that I'm the most attentive bf she's had, and that she's attracted to me but sometimes the anxiety can override that. I know usually to not take it personally but I just want to earn her trust.

What can I do to help build her self-esteem aside from being patient and continuing to reassure her?