u/UsefulAnnual265

What is the point of Trying anymore I'm gonna kill myself evently anyways

I'm so sick of my life I just want to be happy I look at other people lives and I'm full of jealousy and I ask myself why don't I have friends like them have found love like them I'm I not good enough what's wrong with me am I not attractive enough or am I not interesting enough or is it my confidence maybe if I'm kinder. I often fault it for my appearance sitting in front of the mirror picking myself apart.

Maybe one day I will be able to figure it out or maybe I just need to to accept myself that's what I'm told anyways

But how am I supposed to accept myself when I am constantly picked on being told very mean things. And especially when I haven't had a relationship or any friends that has to mean there is something I need to change.

How am I supposed to love myself when I have never been loved I'm so deprived of any affection I started having dreams about cuddling and hugging people how have I reached the point that a hug seems like an unrealistic fantasy

It not like I stink I have good hygiene maybe someone can relate to this.

I'm so sick of my life I just want to be happy I look at other people lives and I'm full of jealousy and I ask myself why don't I have friends like them have found love like them I'm I not good enough what's wrong with me am I not attractive enough or am I not interesting enough or is it my confidence maybe if I'm kinder. I often fault it for my appearance sitting in front of the mirror picking myself apart.

Maybe one day I will be able to figure it out or maybe I just need to to accept myself that's what I'm told anyways

But how am I supposed to accept myself when I am constantly picked on being told very mean things. And especially when I haven't had a relationship or any friends that has to mean there is something I need to change.

How am I supposed to love myself when I have never been loved I'm so deprived of any affection I started having dreams about cuddling and hugging people how have I reached the point that a hug seems like an unrealistic fantasy

It not like I stink I have good hygiene maybe someone can relate to this.

am from the UK and I am currently a forestry student who is passionate about the environment. In my free time I like to go on hikes, make art and gardening

I also like horror movies and I also do a bit of gaming at the moment my favourite series is resident evil.

I would say I am a compassionate person and like to help people in their time of need I am also dyslexic and autistic.

Looking for an online relationship for now I don't mind distance 18-24 is my age range I'm Willing to

Me date[Screenshot-20260728-225014-2.jpg](https://postimg.cc/mzcZcTWQ)

I don't know how long I can take the pain everyday and struggling to eat and having no motivation for things I used to love i hate myself so much. and being 20 and still haven't been relationships and I have no friends I believe I will be lonely forever and never find love what's the point.

What's the point of living I'm always going to be alone always going to be hated I am unlovable I will die alone with no friends and no relationships. I will never be good enough for anyone I can't be loved. I just want to get life over with I don't want to live in this horrible world anymore. There is no hope for me I don't belong anywhere i am the definition of pathetic i just want the pain to end and to find peace and i see peace in death I'm scared of myself and what I will do.

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I am so sick of being single I hate it the loneliness is awful Im starting to feel I will never find my person I never even been on a date I didn't care about relationships until like a year ago I'm 19 for context I find it impossible talk to people I don't know Its just so awkward I'm autistic so that's why I just can't make interesting converstions.

I can't flirt I don't understand the concept I'm so dry and I can't recognise when someone is interested or not and can't recognise flirting. When someone has approached me I can't talk it's like I want to say words but I can't I go mute all of this because of my autism

And I don't know if I maybe asexual because evryone my age only seems to be focused on sex and I just don't care much for it and when people my age talk to women they say stuff that to me seems like the most insane things ever but I don't know anymore if I am just weird.

I just want a genuine connection that's built on good times spent together and to feel comfortable I don't want to be the super masculine man I am soft and kind and sensitive do women acutely want that because hanging with the friends I have I don't know anymore.