u/Vast-Salamander3623

I’ll see completely innocent people and I’ll think they’re abusive to their partner or children. I hate myself for this, as I saw a channel of a guy who was fighting cancer, and after he said that he was a single father, I had a thought that he was abusive. I HATE that, as this guy was innocent, but I think something in the past
that I saw made me think like this. Please help me, I don’t want to be a cynical asshole who thinks that innocent and honestly good people are bad.

Let me state before I start that my hands are bloody in this situation. I’ll admit I’ve done my wrongs, and I’ll make sure not to do them again, but how (let’s call him this) B escalated the issue, I think that it will pale in comparison.

I am a 14 year old lad in the UK. I used to be apart of a table where now that I’ve left from it, had extreme levels of favouritism. One of the individuals who was protected by this was B. I will state the bad things I did.

1. Made fun of his stutter

This was an asshole thing to do. In History, he stuttered and I imitated it and said, what was that? Rightfully so he got upset, and told this table. Although higher ups originally asked me why I did it, some people fearmongered me that I could get expelled for it. Me being the student who wanted to do well was obviously scared. I later on realised in the next lesson that what I did was wrong. Even though he was still a bit mad at first, he came to be fine with it later. \*HOWEVER\* even though it’s resolved, he’ll still mention it as if he has a grudge, even if this was months ago.

2. Made an AI video of him and distributed it to mutual friends.

Nothing too bad, just an ai video of him saying Hey What’s Up Smile to the camera. Even though I dicmtvget his consent, I didn’t think he’d get mad considering what the video showed. He got mad, but then started threatening me several times in a period of a month of arrest. For a month he stopped, and when a friend mentioned it again, he stated going back to the threatening. This caused me to mentally spiral, as I’m now showing strong symptoms of moral scrupolpolsy. The other table members were defending him the entire time, which was stupid. One of the higher ups once told me when I tried to get a girl on my year arrested for posting a sexual deepfake of our school librarian in a stripper outfit onto TikTok, that if she was my friend, I’d forgive her, so forgive and forget. He didn’t say ANY of that shit to B, and seeing how people enabled B’s threatening, it lead to me to do the next thing.

3. Violence

Same as the other, not too major, but violence is violence. This only ranges from light pushing to snapping on people. He enables other people to do worse things because it’s ’normal’ for them. Fucking hypocrite. He once told me that me patting his head was assault, while an hour before was tickling someone’s back. When I told him about how group leader is violent to me, he said that it was because I was so insufferable, so clearly he’s being a hypocrite again. I will say I don’t want to be violent anymore, even if I get mad.

4. Racial humour.

Sounds bad at first but he was fine with it, and in that group it was normal to be racist to eachover, I also think he internalised it. I now know that racism even in humour in friendgroups is wrong. Not racism as well, but generally out of pocket things. He once said out loud (not to me) , ‘What you’re saying is illegal’, and I can’t describe how loud it was. He’s also a hypocrite for this reason, as he was laughing loudly when I apologised to a kid know my year for a time when I tried to hit him in the balls with a pen, but didn’t say shit when someone shouted to me that they’d 🍇 my mum. As of right now, I want to stop all of these things.

Now, that’s all the bad things I’ve done, let’s go to the bad things he did, which are WAY worse.

1. Threatening

During the time of reason Number 2, he made several threats to me. When I see stories of these types of stories, usually people say to confront whoever made the video or tell a trusted person. He did none of that and was constantly and constantly threatening me, to a point where as I said before, showed very strong signs of OCD and Moral Scrupupolsy.

2. Dismissing of apologies

Whenever I tried to apologise, instead of saying something like, I don’t care, I’m still mad, he said….

I don’t care. I couldn’t care less.

At first my family told me that he had his right to not accept my apology, and I believed then until I took more of a glance and realised that HE TRULY COULD’NT GIVE TWO SHITS, showing that he didn’t care if I tried to improve as he’d still hold onto a grudge.

3. Suggesting me to do illegal behaviour

When I mentioned when I tried to get a girl arrested for distributing a deepfake of my school librarian in a stripper costume on TikTok, B went up to me and gave me an entire step to step plan to go DOXX her. Yep, you heard me. He said it in a vague ass way that at first I was going to do it, until he said it’s illegal as it was doxxing. I then responded to, What, I can’t do that???? What the fuck???? This is hypocritical in both ways as not only is he a police cadet and should know better, but that he contradicted what he stood for, and NOT doing illegal things. Whenever I mention it to friends they never take it seriously, and my OCD’s making me think I was going to go ahead with going to doxx her, even though I didn’t.

4. Telling others to intentionally hurt me.

Yes, his hypocrisy divers even further. Several times in the past and even recently has he gotten a Y11 to go push me around. Not only did he tell this Y11 a biased description of me, he did this to other kids, so at this point, he’s telling others to do dirty work. When I was still hanging with the group until I completely left, I made a jokey threat, that if he spreaded a secret of one of my friends in the group, I’d hunt him down. He then laughed and then said that he’d get people to beat me up, WHILE BEING SERIOUS. He also snitches to other people about these things.

5. Spreading sensitive information.

At one point I got so distraught, I went to my parents and bawled my eyes out due to the stress. My mum suggested to give her his number so she could have contact with him. She did so, and he intentionally ghosted her, telling people while laughing that he ghosted my mum. He then told eventually the entire table about how I bursted in tears due to the guilt, which made no sense as he even told the person that bullied him about this. This Wednesday he mentioned this again, and said that it should be the parents, not him, which is a steaming pile of dogshit as how the fuck would I get his parents number, if I asked him he’d deny it as in the past with my apologies, he refused not because he was hurt but because he couldn’t give a shit. I’d doubt his parents would even do anything as well.

Now, I want you to know this information, and live with the fact that HE STILL TRIES TO TALK TO ME. I’ve been ignoring him, except that one time when he was doing a joke where he constantly said what to me, and I said that didn’t you tell me you wanted to be an onlyfans star (I know, not great but it’s my type of humour, to which he knows.) Even people in the group who sided with him originally said that he couldn’t arrest me because it wouldn’t even qualify, and how he disregards others abuse. I’m not sure how I can tell a trusted person to this, but how do I? I can admit I’ve done wrong things too, but he escalated it to a very far point.

It’s been a while since I last went here, but titles self explanatory. When I was around 12-13, I was very much used to using slurs, of all archetypes. I very much regret it now, but at the time I didn’t. Now, I may have said this before, but I have OCD, and showing symptoms of moral scrupupolsy, and I feel guilt over this a lot. Even though I can technically say some of them, I also can understand that there’s a reason why people don’t say those words. My second thing is that, as I am trying to change, I’ll still be around friends who use slurs a lot. I talk to them about it, and I don’t think they’ll change. I understand that it’s just a phase in school, and they’ll eventually (and hopefully) change, but I still feel odd. I could also be very sensitive after an event caused me to be so, but maybe I’m feeling guilty and questionable to other people for a good way?

Before I start, I will say it is partially my fault for being lenient and naive.

I have OCD. My teacher gave me a journal so that I could write down anything that was on my mind, and there were BAD things in there. Anyhow, I told one of my closest friends, who I trusted dearly for this knowledge, about what I was dealing with. He suggested me to go to a kid that had a pass that allowed him to talk to trusted people. I did. When I found him, I asked him. He was asking about how bad was the stuff in my journal. I joked that it was as bad as a school shooting (I know this was wrong but I wasn’t being serious, I just said it to emphasise that it wasn’t great things). Later on in the day, it was just after form time, and that kid tried to prie my book out of my bag. 3 other students came in, and he told them to join in. So basically, I had 3 students on my back, grabbing me to try get my journal. I pushed off one student defensively as she was grabbing on to me, and then I punched the original kid as he was the last person on my back, to which he punched me twice. I then told the teachers about it, and now I’m going to get in trouble for defending myself, and tbf if I wasn’t so naive maybe this wouldn’t have happened? I’m stressing out because I told my family members that truthfully, I wouldn’t get in trouble again, and now I wronged them. What do yall think?

Before I start, I will say it is partially my fault for being lenient and naive.

I have OCD. My teacher gave me a journal so that I could write down anything that was on my mind, and there were BAD things in there. Anyhow, I told one of my closest friends, who I trusted dearly for this knowledge, about what I was dealing with. He suggested me to go to a kid that had a pass that allowed him to talk to trusted people. I did. When I found him, I asked him. He was asking about how bad was the stuff in my journal. I joked that it was as bad as a school shooting (I know this was wrong but I wasn’t being serious, I just said it to emphasise that it wasn’t great things). Later on in the day, it was just after form time, and that kid tried to prie my book out of my bag. 3 other students came in, and he told them to join in. So basically, I had 3 students on my back, grabbing me to try get my journal. I pushed off one student defensively as she was grabbing on to me, and then I punched the original kid as he was the last person on my back, to which he punched me twice. I then told the teachers about it, and now I’m going to get in trouble for defending myself, and tbf if I wasn’t so naive maybe this wouldn’t have happened? I’m stressing out because I told my family members that truthfully, I wouldn’t get in trouble again, and now I wronged them. What do yall think?

I used to say things like I breastfeed blind babies with my cock and gaming sucking on me is even more intense when I was 12, and I said this due to hearing these things from content creators like Omar Nutro , and at the time, finding them so shocking that I found them funny and repeated them, all in school. Now, I’m 14 and I feel fucking disgusted. It was truly vile and I don’t even know if I can forgive myself. I don’t find babies sexually attractive as anyone should, and even though I’m autistic and maybe at the time I didn’t know how bad saying these things were, I still can’t really forgive myself. I’m struggling with OCD, I need help. I remember also saying stuff like giving birth to my friend and breastfeeding him (I’m a boy) and I feel bad about that too.

I used to be ‘friends’ with this guy (context at the time of these things I was 13 and he was 14). Even though I did bad things, I didn’t realise at the time they were bad (I’m autistic, it’s not me using an excuse but it’s me not me realising that what I do could have disastrous consequences)

There’s 2 things I’ll bring up

The Stutter and The Video.

The stutter was the reason why I mentioned I did things that were pretty bad. In my history lesson, my friend stuttered (I say stutter but at the time I didn’t even know it was a stutter due to the fact I thought stutters were stuff like s-ss-sstutter, but in this case it was ssssssssssssstutter. After he finished I repeated it and said what was that. Rightfully so he got upset, at least I think as I forgot what he said afterwards but he went to the people in our group and said that. They said, why did you do that, and one even said I could get expelled for it. In past friendgroups and even from personal experiences, there have been times where I’ve been laughed out for my stutters, not saying that it should be normalised, but i think due to this I thought it was ‘normal’ albeit somewhat rude. I apologised to him, and even though he didn’t accept it at first, he later on was fine with me, and I learned to not do that when stuttered ever again.

The next thing I’ll mention is the video. I had a photo of this friend with pigtails on his head, some of my other friends had this photo too. I was just on Grok, doing the things I was doing (e.g turning my art into videos for fun), and then I saw the photo, I wondered what would happen if i used it? I didn’t even give it a prompt, as I just put in the grok imagine tool, and the video came out with him saying hey what’s up ,smile to the camera. For some reason, it made the video look like he was recorded,which I didn’t control. I sent the video to people in our group or people who were friends with him. After he knew about it, he was upset, which was rightfully now that I know better, he started ranting that he could get me arrested for malicious use of AI. I didn’t even do it for malicious use, i only did it originally for fun and then later showed it to my friends. I should mention that in all my other friendgroups this type of stuff was normal, and was much worse too and was racist as well (e.g. me eating curry, I’m Indian), hell, this was in this current group too, as one of my close friends in the group made a video of me saying I’m trying to end my addiction for eating hoodie hoods (that’s an inside joke with us, even though he asked me to make the video, he did tell me what he did with it.) I didn’t think at the time he would be super offended by it, as one of his friends posted a goofy picture of him on his TikTok for his YT channel, when there were never any posts of him showing his posts prior, and this was YT account btw and that post got over 1K views, but no, he was actually going to people asking if he should get me arrested, and due to other things he used to talk about, he might’ve asked if he could doxx me. The thing is though is that afterwards he knew about the video., he stopped for a month. Then when someone mentioned it, he completely forgot about him wanting someone off the group, and instead targeted me, saying that it was either the teacher or head of year, also even though it was weird, it wasn’t illegal because he wasn’t doing anything bad in the video,and it wasn’t a sexual deepfake. His constant threats (he said this constantly and I’m pretty sure he made everyone knew he was doing this) eventually lead me to showing big signs of OCD. I broke down to my parents about this, my mum told me to give his number so she could message him to apologise even though I also did it too, and he ghosted her, he admitted it and he even laughed about it. Whenever I said to him to try change for the better, he said I don’t care or I couldn’t care less, nothing more or less, so this wasn’t him caring about the video anymore, it was just a lack of care for anything. I got more and more mad, and when one of my friends tried to solve it, he said it again. So I lashed out on him. The hypocritical thing is that he said that if he did it first, it would be alright. This is hypocritical because in the past and even recently he told a kid in the older years to beat me up (it was more of aggressive pushing) and this would’ve been alright but he told this guy a biased description of me because he didn’t like me at the time. This guy has a record of overreacting over minor things (he legit was threatening to tell head of year about one of my friends taking ONE of his chips).

I’ll admit I’ve done bad things, I’ve been trying to be better afterwards, but I just want information to change later on.

I am a 14 year old lad from the UK. These past few weeks, I’ve been trying to put my past aside, but they come back to haunt me. Today I will say 2 examples. Around a year ago, I heard a girl in my school gossip to her friends about something really embarrassing that happened to me that she saw. Knowing this girl, she would say it to EVERYONE she knew, even people she hated. So, *ugh* I decided to be petty. My friends told me that she used TikTok to watch 🌽, so on TikTok I made a meme esque vid about that girl making excuses for that allegation. At the time people in my school did this all the time but I feel bad. Another thing was MONTHS later, if I remember it was 6-8 months ago, I was with a friend who was friends with her. At the time I disliked her thoroughly, so…..

I sent her on my friends phone and amalgamation of stickers bunched together with an eggplant emoji. She said bro what? And even though she probably forgot about it, I still feel guilty despite me not liking her. I’ve been affected with abnormal thinking and OCD for a few weeks now, and even though what was in the past is the past, in this case my mind makes me think that these issues are terrible. Even though this type of behaviour was common for lots of people in my year, I feel bad about it now. How do I stop the guilt, I know it ain’t the worst thing in the grand scheme of things and people in my school have done worse (Hell that same girl has experienced MUCH worse) , I’m just going to plan using the feedback from here to my ERP therapist.

I am a 14 year old lad from the UK. These past few weeks, I’ve been trying to put my past aside, but they come back to haunt me. Today I will say 2 examples. Around a year ago, I heard a girl in my school gossip to her friends about something really embarrassing that happened to me that she saw. Knowing this girl, she would say it to EVERYONE she knew, even people she hated. So, *ugh* I decided to be petty. My friends told me that she used TikTok to watch 🌽, so on TikTok I made a meme esque vid about that girl making excuses for that allegation. At the time people in my school did this all the time but I feel bad. Another thing was MONTHS later, if I remember it was 6-8 months ago, I was with a friend who was friends with her. At the time I disliked her thoroughly, so…..

I sent her on my friends phone and amalgamation of stickers bunched together with an eggplant emoji. She said bro what? And even though she probably forgot about it, I still feel guilty despite me not liking her. I’ve been affected with abnormal thinking and OCD for a few weeks now, and even though what was in the past is the past, in this case my mind makes me think that these issues are terrible. Even though this type of behaviour was common for lots of people in my year, I feel bad about it now. How do I stop the guilt, I know it ain’t the worst thing in the grand scheme of things and people in my school have done worse, I’m just going to plan using the feedback from here to my ERP therapist.

This is my second post here. As I’ve said before, I’m 14. I had a memory when I threw a small pebble/rock at a swan. Even though Im pretty sure missed, and even if i hit it, it didn’t even get hurt, I still feel horrible, like a terrible person. Where I’m from, (The UK), injuring or killing a swan is illegal. Even though I was at the age where I wouldn’t get in trouble for this, I still feel terrible. I’ve heard horrible things that teenagers have done to swans and cygnets, like throw bricks and smash their eggs, but I still feel awful for what I’ve done. I’ve been silent today and groggy. Can someone please help me?

I am a 14 year old boy in the UK. I love all animals, but I now have memory of when I was 8 years old, I threw a small pebble at a swan. It didn’t get hit, and it didn’t even seem to be harmed in the slightest, but I’m feeling terrible now. I managed to block the memory until my mum said something to make me remember the memory, and it’s to the point where I’m completely silent. I saw stories of teens doing absolutely atrocious things to swans or their eggs, and even though I know I was young when I did it, I’m struggling with OCD and I can’t get it out of my mind.

In all of my past friend groups (for context I am 14), there have all been dark humor with racism. I was fine with it, hell I even got into to it, but now considering I’m striving to be better, I want to improve. Some of my non black friends and I said the N-Word a year ago (I was 12) as we all had an ‘N-Word’ pass. I’ve been called currymuncher in my last group, and there was a lot of favouritism there. Racist jokes are still common in school but I want to change. I should mention that I did these racist things as a joke or with friends. I was influenced by dark humor and racist esque content, and due to me being in my prime puberty times, I acted that way. I realise now that it was more or less for attention or to get to be friends with people as it was common at the time, not because I felt all these racist feelings. I should also mention that in most of the friendgroups, they’re all of colour, and I don’t know what to do know.