u/VermicelliFrost

I moved to Marin in 2016 after 18 chilly years in SF. The following summer was so hot in San Rafael that I had central AC installed. I loved, loved, loved those warm Marin nights when I never needed a jacket like I did in SF.

Marin summers were hot. I remember mountain biking at China Camp in 90+ degree weather with no breeze whatsoever, getting completely soaked with sweat. The entire summer was hot and sunny. I'd actually find myself missing cloudy days. Every single day was sunny and warm.

These days I'm wearing a jacket on some days in the middle of summer. The nights now feel as cool as SF. I take a jacket with me every time I go out in the evening. I've hardly used my AC in years. There always seems to be a cool breeze blowing. We've been having these strange hazy, cloudy, cool days. This has been going on for about 4 or 5 years now, and it seems to get even cooler with each new summer.

So am I losing my mind, or have the summers actually been getting cooler in Marin?

After about a decade of nightly alprazolam (1 to 2mg) for sleep, my memory and cognition were clearly suffering, so I decided to taper. After a few quack doctors pushing dangerously fast tapers, I found a psychiatrist who does proper long ones and got down to 0.5mg of alpra over six months.

Then about 4-5 months ago my doctor switched me to diazepam at 4mg per night. Problem is I can't fall asleep on it. On alpra I always fell asleep easily (though I'd often wake up in the middle of the night for a while). So now I lie awake and will sometimes eventually take a 0.25mg alpra tablet just to sleep, which keeps wrecking my taper.

I'm about a year into my taper and I really want to succeed but the insomnia is killing me. I can handle 2 to 3 bad nights of sleep. But 3 to 4 nights or more of no sleep and I'm a different person and have even had a few mini breakdowns.

I've tried nearly every prescription and OTC sleep aid out there. 30+ bottles of supplements, SSRIs, antipsychotics, other scripts. None worked, most made it worse (restless legs and body, or just feeling off). The only thing that helps is a hard gym workout, but I broke my hand recently and haven't trained in a month.

Every day I think about giving up and going back to nightly 1mg alpra. Then I remember what these benzos are doing to me. My memory has gotten worse and worse. For chrissakes, one day I blanked on my own wife's name mid conversation.

If you're still with me, what would you suggest? I get why my doc moved me to the longer half life diazepam, but the insomnia is killing me. Would switching back to alpra actually make the taper go better? Thoughts? I plan on asking my doc about this but thought I'd get some opinions here too. Thanks in advance for any help.

Yet another casualty of the restaurant scene in Marin. The Kitchen Table is closing and transitioning to a sandwich/pizza shop (like we need more pizza in Marin).

Really bummed about this as I liked their food, service was always good, and it was a bright spot in the food desert that is Marin.

Related insta post: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZ0d0fFPVr9/

After living in San Rafael for a number of years, we've recently moved to Novato (unincorporated).

We are surprised at the amount of calcification build up in our glass tea kettle. Much more than we ever had at San Rafael.

I assumed that MMWD water all came from the same place but I certainly must be wrong about this. Is a home water filtration system in my future?

I purchased my home in the Bay Area about a year ago, and I'd like to get the old listing photos and information removed from the internet.

I've already asked both the listing agent and my buying agent to delist it, and they've managed to get it taken down from a few sites, but it's still showing up on Realtor.com and possibly others.

I know this is definitely possible because I've seen listings in other areas where the photos and information have been completely removed.

Does anyone have experience getting this done? What's the most effective approach? Should I be reaching out directly to Realtor.com, or is there a better path through the MLS or the agents?

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

Went out with a couple of buds last week. About a 30-mile loop with serious climbing, so we took the e-bikes.

Trail I'd ridden just a few times. Mostly downhill, narrow, switchbacks, but the surface is smooth hard pack so you can really cook. One of my best buds is on my wheel, and he's a strong rider, so naturally I'm trying to gap him.

Caught a pedal on a root or rock. E-bikes seem more prone to this, something about the cranks or the weight distribution. Whatever it was, it was instant mayhem. The crash unfolded in slow motion and I knew there was zero saving it.

Full-frontal into a tree. Chest first - knocked the wind out of me. Top tube destroyed the family jewels. Did the classic knee-bang-into-top-tube thing for good measure.

The worst of it was my left hand. I think it slammed into the grip when the bike stopped dead. Palm is bruised black, fractured the ring and pinky metacarpals. Sprained my right thumb too. Baseball-sized bruise on my side as well.

I've had some bad ones over the years. Broken nose, full face road rash, I have scars across both shoulders and my back. This one tops them all.

Then came the fun part. Had to ride 10 miles back on rough baby-head-filled fire roads. Couldn't grip the bars, so I'd rest my wrists on the grips when the pain got bad. Made it to the bike bar and a couple beers helped. Then pedaled a dead battery the last 5 miles home on the street.

I'm 57yo and feel 80yo right now. Limping around, struggling to put a shirt on or make a meal. Three more weeks in the cast. Can't wait to get back out there and hit that trail again.

Meeting up with a buddy in a few days for a burger and some beers. I live in Marin but usually drive into the city as my friend either takes public transpo or uber.

I had made reservations at Causwells as I had eaten there once before with the wife and recalled the food was pretty decent. However, I just checked the menu online and I see they add on a 6% BS charge. I am vehemently against these charges (Thanks Scott Wiener) and, IMO, 6% is just over the top. If it's 3 or 4%, I usually don't mind - I usually just deduct it from the tip.

In any case, looking for an alternative to Causwells on Union or Chestnut. Thanks for any recommendations!

Hi all. Bought a house last year that came with GE Cafe appliances. The ice maker was working fine until we disconnected the water supply and moved the fridge to the dining room during a kitchen renovation. After several months we moved it back to the "fridge hole" and the ice maker never came back to life.

I tried troubleshooting it myself by power cycling the fridge, confirming the ice maker was enabled, and hitting the fill tube with a hair dryer. No luck, so I called Bodewell, GE's repair division.

Three visits later and $650 out of pocket, the icemaker is still not working.

• Visit 1: Diagnosed a faulty solenoid/valve assembly.
• Visit 2: Replaced the assembly. Didn't fix it.
• Visit 3: Tech and I traced the issue to a frozen fill tube. He cleared it and while he was in there recommended replacing the ice maker tray since it was "worn," so I agreed. He left confident the problem was solved.

It wasn't. The ice maker still isn't making ice.

After doing some research I've learned that GE Cafe fridges have a small heating element specifically designed to keep the fill tube from freezing. I'm now wondering if this was the actual root cause the entire time, and whether two expensive parts were replaced unnecessarily when the real culprit was a component that probably costs under $30.

I'm scheduling a fourth Bodewell visit and I'm frustrated. My question for the group is whether I have grounds to push back on the parts and labor charges for the solenoid and ice maker tray, given that neither appears to have fixed the underlying problem. Has anyone been in a similar situation with GE or Bodewell and had any success getting a refund or credit?

Any advice appreciated.

TL;DR: The Fidelity 2% Visa is serviced by Elan Financial Services, which has a reputation for siding with merchants in disputes and offers almost zero card benefits beyond the cash back. Use a real card if you want actual protection.

Long version: I've had the Fidelity Rewards Visa for over a year. It made sense on paper since I already had my brokerage, retirement, and cash management accounts at Fidelity, and the 2% flat cash back seemed like a good financial decision.

What I didn't realize is that Elan Financial Services, which is a U.S. Bank subsidiary, is the actual issuer of the card. Fidelity just licenses the brand. Every dispute, fraud claim, and customer service call goes to Elan, and Fidelity has no say over their decisions.

To explain my issue further, I had a $200 dispute with an eBay seller who sold me a "new" kitchen faucet that didn't work. Counting the plumber install and removal, I was out around $600. Elan made me jump through hoops documenting everything (vendor communications, photos, plumber invoices) - and I had to do this twice for some reason - and then denied the dispute because I was past the 60-day filing window.

I get it, rules are rules. But I've had Chase, Capital One, and Amex resolve disputes in my favor well outside their official windows when the situation warranted it. That's what good card servicing actually looks like. If the amount was small, sometimes the card issuer would often just credit me the charge.

I was flummoxed by this experience and looked further into Elan, only to find that it is consistently rated near the bottom for dispute handling and customer service. Reviews across Trustpilot, WalletHub, and Consumer Reports show the same patterns of long hold times, dragged-out disputes, and fraud claims requiring excessive proof. The Fidelity Visa also has minimal cardholder benefits beyond the 2%, with no meaningful travel insurance, no purchase protection worth using, and no extended warranty. Fidelity can't override Elan's decisions, so escalating to Fidelity isn't going to help either. I tried the "karen approach" and threatened to yank my accounts from Fidelity and they didn't give two shits.

Being a little pissed off about all this, I decided to cancel the card. But before I let my emotions make me do something I might later regret I calmed down and did the math. At my typical $150K annual spend, that's $3k back. Sure, it's a decent chunk of change, but my Chase Sapphire and Cap One Venture X points get me business class flights and Hyatt stays that are worth far more than $3000 in cash for the same spend.

For example, earning a point per dollar would net me 150K points. An international round-trip business class flight from the West Coast runs about 150K-200K points for what would otherwise be a $5-10K airfare. Hyatt rooms can start at 8K points for cheaper properties and go up from there (I typically draw the line at 15K points, since I'd rather save the higher redemptions for an international business class flight) for what would normally be $200-600 per night. Plus, Chase and Cap One have actual travel protections and dispute backing.

I suppose if you never dispute charges, don't travel, and just want simple cash back, the Fidelity Visa works fine. If you want a card that actually has your back when something goes wrong, look elsewhere. Caveat emptor.

EDIT: corrected math

When I set up my estate plan a while back, I went with a professional fiduciary as successor trustee rather than a family member. Reason being my spouse and sibling aren't well-suited for the role and I wanted someone competent who would actually carry out my wishes. Seemed like the right decision at the time.

I've recently revisited my estate plan and now that I've run the numbers I'm not so sure.

• Quick background: California, roughly $20M estate at the moment, two properties, a business interest, and a provision to distribute about a quarter of the estate to my child over 15 years (a set amount at 20, then more at 25, 30, 35).
• The fee structure: 1% annually of trust assets, recalculated whenever a significant distribution is made.
• What that actually looks like:
  • Settlement phase, est. 2 years: $400K to $600K
  • Distribution phase, 15 years on $5M: another $375K
  • All in: potentially $775K to $1M or more

The settlement phase I understand. There's real work involved. But paying roughly $25K a year just to write checks to my kid for 15 years feels like a lot for what is pretty routine work.

I'm now looking into whether the trust can be restructured so something cheaper takes over once the estate is settled and we're just in distribution mode.

Has anyone dealt with this? Specifically:

1. Did you use a professional fiduciary and what were your reasons?
2. If you didn't have a capable family member for the trustee role, what did you do instead?
3. Did you find a way to structure a long term distribution to avoid ongoing fiduciary fees?
4. Has anyone used a trust protector provision to allow replacing the fiduciary down the road if fees become unreasonable?

Happy to answer questions if more context helps. Thanks in advance for any advice.