u/Verminausea

Is there a term for a system with distinct headmates, who identify as seperate people? Basically, the opposite of median. I checked pluralpedia and it said Multiple System can be used for this, but I have also seen multiple system used as synonymous for plural in general, and I'm wondering if people do actually use this term for specifically more seperate alters specifically.

I have also seen on pluralpedia that system itself is used more for seperate guys, and plural is a broader term. I havent seen much difference in how people use the terms, but that couls be because they are usually talking about both.

I have also seen DID used to specify more seperate alters, but I am looking for a less clinical term.

Part of why I am wondering is I am seeing more and more experiences being counted under the plural umbrella, and I think that is good, but I am a bit worried about having clear language to describe this particular experience. For context, part of my worry is because I am asexual, and in that community the word asexual was turned into an umbrella term, which it is good to have more people in the community, but difficult as someone who does not experience sexual attraction at all to no longer have specific language, since the word that did mean that is now an umbrella term and its unclear if i mean no sexual attraction at all or part of aspec. Is that just the nature of it when the identity is one of the most common or thought of first when thinking of the community that any terms made for that specifically will be made into umbrella terms?

Not that applies to plural or system- i know those are umbrellas origionally- but im wondering if making any subsequent terms to refer to this specifically will also be treated like this- like afaik people dont really use multiple system seperately and know it has a seperate definition. But maybe they do??? Ive just never seen that be made particularly clear.

It's kind of a treatment strategy, but its unconventional enough I put the misc flair lol. I personally have gotten *a lot* of help from rap/hip-hop music, specifically 90s hip-hop. Something about the rhythm is soothing, a lot of the messages sort of put me into a chilling mind set (like stuff about smoking weed- I cant smoke weed bc my body is too sensitive to it, but thinking about guys being laid back and chilling helps put me into a more relaxed mindset).

Rap music has also helped me to not stress out about other peoples problems and enforce my boundaries about helping everyone better (trying to help other people with their emotional issues and worrying about other people has been a big source of crashes for me). I play it in the background when hanging out with people in VRChat (I cant leave the house very often so I use VRChat as an accessibility tool to feel like I am hanging out with people in person), and I started to prioritize 'vibing to the music', and refusing to engage in ways that stress me out enough that I no longer feel like I am vibing to my music. I still am there for people and listen, but I don't let myself get worked up, I dont act hypervigilent about how everyone else is doing and focus on my own vibe instead of theirs, I dont try to manage everyone, I am chilling to my rap music.

This has been hugely beneficial to energy conservation and stress reduction. I had a friend drop me after I started doing this, which while that was very stressful and caused a fatuge crash, I view as positive over all since they were just using me for what I could do for them and didnt want me anymore once I actually started pacing myself succesfully and not do everything they wanted. It also just shows me how tangible a difference this made in my behaviour that it changed how other people perceived me so drastically.

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I just wanted to share how helpful this has been! I thought it might help others too, it doesnt have to be rap music, but anything that helps you to find your chill and learn to prioritize yourself and conserve your energy, anything that can help keep you calm and not stress out, can really help improve your life and ability to pace! Good luck everyone :D

For those of us who have to cook or somehow get food into our bodies ourselves, I found out about a very old practice called perpetual stew, where people would keep one fire going and just keep adding to one stew. As making food is my number one energy drain and something that terrifies me I wont be able to do, I decided to try it. I just put it in a crock pot. I can add new things whenever I want to, to keep it going and change the flavor profile, I don't have to do a lot of prep at once and there is hot food always available. I just started this so I dont know how well it will go, but it seems like a huge game changer and I wanted to share the idea around. its just important to keep it hot enough bacteria will not grow (above 140 degrees), to keep enough water in it so everything stays in the water which keeps the temperature even, and not to add too much fat. If temperature dips, throw out and start over.

Please research before attempting, I cannot convey everything in a reddit post and food borne illness is serious. But i wanted to share this idea bc it seems like it could be life changing for me and I thought it might help others as well.

Hello! We are collectively known as vermin (more info and our links to art and things on verminausea.straw.page)

We are a fictive heavy system, with sources including fear and hunger, hazbin hotel, the digital circus, mlp, and many more. We have also been in the otherkin and therian communities for many years.

We dont have a host, but some of our most frequent fronters include Vox, Pocketcat, Unity (who has many kintypes), Dream, Valentino, Zero (vox fictive), Percy (crt vox), and Alastor.

We are an artist, a writer, and a game dev. We love animals and nature, and volunteered to rehab birds of prey, and have a scuba lisence! Our special interests include spiders, hypnotism, social psychology/healthy relationships/abuse, Minecraft, furby, and halloween, though differenr alters may focus on different things while some interests are more system wide.

We are an adult, and ask only 18+ to message us. We are happy to talk to people younger in the sub, we just dont think adults and minors should be dming since theres no moderator oversight there.

You dont have to be a source mate to message or talk to us! We are looking to talk to anyone we might get along with. :D

ETA: Oh also we like to play VRChat with people if anyone has it!

So, I am black stripe ace, completely devoid of sexual attraction ever in my life. But I am not sex repulsed (well, i can be sometimes, but not consistently.) I see vanillia sex as completely boring and not worth doing, but I really like kink and will do sex or be sexual as part of that (and sometimes call doing kink with someone havung sex even tho its not just cause. I forget that that parts important to some people 💔).

To me, kink/sex is fun and exciting as a trust excersize and way to get to know people better and is a good bonding thing to do. Sometimes I think of it as using sex the way a bonobo does... Its about exciting as a board game, and I will natrually do it with people as easily as I would play a board game with them. Its just a fun social activity, and how fun it is has a lot more to do with how well I get to know the person and how fun it was to play with each othet than with the activity itself.

This has sucked for me. Other peoples higher value on sexual experiences themselves, rather than the bond that can come from it, has made a lot of people treat me extremely terribly. They see how easily I will do sexual things, and have treated being my friend as a means to get sex, rather than having sex as a means to be closer friends. Ive gotten really really hurt, and felt really betrayed when I realize people I thought were genuine friends were just exploiting me for this, and for the aspects of kink to do with caretaking, wanting me to actually take care of them unilaterally rather than it being part of the playing and then mutually take care of each other in the actual friendship.

I dont know what to do! I really like kink, and I like doing it casually, it comes easily and natrually for me, at least it used to. Now it makes me feel sick and scared to think of doing with someone, even if I want to, cause I'm afraid thats all they'll want me for again. Maybe doing it early in relationships was stupid and attracted people to me thats all they wanted, but I always tried to be clear about how the friendship is whats important to me, and avoided people who clearly only wanted kink, but that seems to just selected people who only want kink and are better at lying.

I dont want to give up this part of myself, but it feels like I might have to. Mainly wanted to see if anyone else has experienced anything like this, either just feeling this way about sex/kink, or also having been treated badly for it. And wanted to know if anyone has any advice. As well as just put this experience out there.

Thanks for reading

I'm just sitting here really mad thinking about all the people in my life who pushed me when I was crashed and didnt know I had chronic fatuge, people who probably made my illness perminently worse.

All the gym teachers who thought I was just lazy for not running when just walking the circles was exhausting, and the one time I did push myself to run the 'normal' amount bc I liked the teacher and wanted to be good for him, I collapsed and couldnt move the rest of class.

My mother who came to 'help' me clean my room, but made me still do a lot of the work, who when I was exhausted and tried to rest would push me and say 'just a little more! its almost done!'

The lady at church who when I volunteered to help people whose homes were damaged by a hurricane saw me taking breaks would yell at me and act like I hadn't done any work at all, even though I had been doing a ton and just needed to rest

to my abusive boyfriend who forced me to pack a bunch of dirty dishes when we were moving, when I was way past the point of exhasution and pushing way to hard just to pack normally, when we had way too many and should just throw them away, and he didnt even wash any of the dishes for the month he was alone there.

everyone all the time. Just a little more. Just a little further. Youre almost there. Keep pushing keep pushing keep pushing.

Well guess what all your pushing did. Now I cant do anything. If I had listened to my body, like my instinct was to do, and rested when I wanted to, instead of listening to you people, how much could I be doing now? How much of my ability would have been preserved? I hate every single person who did this to me, who treated me like I was lazy and needed to do more, who destroyed my health because they didnt stop to consider for one second maybe I was tired for a reason. That maybe not everyone can do everything they can do. That just because its easy for them, doesnt mean its easy for everyone. And that they shouldnt try to force people to do stuff that they are saying is too much, that hurts them.

idk. im so angry