u/Vibranium2222

Assume she’s everything you’re looking for today and genuinely committed to building a life with you. The only thing you know is her dating and sexual history.

At what point, if any, does her past become a dealbreaker for marriage?
0 – No relationships or sexual partners. (I know thats rare)
1–2 – A couple of serious relationships. Maybe sex within those relationships, but no casual hookups.
3–5 – A few relationships and a couple of casual hookups. Nothing excessive, just a fairly typical modern dating life.
6–10 – Multiple partners through a mix of relationships and casual encounters.
10+ – A very active dating or hookup history before deciding to settle down.
No number matters – As long as she’s honest, faithful, and invested in the marriage, her past is irrelevant.

I’m not asking what the “correct” or politically acceptable answer is. I’m interested in what modern Indian men genuinely feel.

If your answer changes at a certain number, what is it about that number that changes your perception?

Edit: I'm not talking about myself here, my parents didn't behave this way. But I'm travelling in the US and meeting other Indians and that's how I found out about this.

I'm speaking as an NRI myself who was raised abroad since I was 7, I'm 26 now and no longer a child but I'm surprised seeing a lot of parents mostly in the US pushing their children to take indian food like dosa, idli or roti for lunch. Or insisting their children must oil hair everyday and braid their hair too. Some parents don't send their children to others houses if they eat non-veg. Nothing wrong with indian food or oiling hair, but there is a time and place for all these things.

I don't think some parents realize that they are making their children stick out like a sore thumb doing all this, at a young age all kids want to do is fit in and make friends. You can maintain culture and traditions in other ways aswell, you don't need to raise your children exactly how children in India are raised. And some parents are not flexible at all about this, its quite sad.

For context my mom is east asian and I am wasian, (other half is white). Today I was talking with my mom about the fact that I'm interested in being roomates with someone I met and talked to on the subreddit of a university I'll be attending this fall. This person is an indian girl and an international student. We connected on instagram and i'd say we have a decent amount of commonalities so I am genuinely considering living with her. I showed my mom her profile last night and she didn't really say anything so I didnt think that she had any particular strong feelings about it. Today I brought it up again and her immediate response was to list the most ridiculous and stereotypically disgusting things you could say about indian people and I dont know why her racism catches me by surprise every single time. One of the more ridiculous things she said went along the lines of "What if this girl brings over other indian guys who persuade you into marrying them because they want a green card?". My mother was an international student and dated/married my dad with the intention of getting a green card and bringing my half brother to the US. While that is the bare bones truth I have to say that there is nuance and she was a very devoted and caring wife to my dad for 24 years (he passed this may). She was the sole bread winner for our family for my entire life and there are about another 100 nuances to their relationship that I could list. This is exactly why I will never understand how she can be so hypocritical against other immigrants.
She also said a lot of terrible things about darker skinned people and she KNOWS I hate when she talks like that. I try to talk sense into her and say things like "How would you feel if people hated you for a skin color you couldn't control" and she said some bullshit like "I can control it. I can control the skin color of my child". Oh my god im getting pissed off just thinking about it. I don't understand how an asian woman and a minority in this country who has faced discrimination for the color of her skin and the country of her birth can sit back and pour the same kind of hatred onto other people. She just cannot fathom stepping outside of herself for one second its ridiculous. I think she was taught this kind of racism and it just stuck, I don't think shes ever examined her prejudices beyond a surface level because I know at her core shes not a hateful person. Shes just very stuck in her ways and its so frustrating. How do I show her that she is being a hypocrite, is it even possible to change her perspective at this point?