u/Visible-Bug8280

Do you tear up at random things?

We got a send-off speech today and we got told 2 things:

• Don't sleep with your boss
• Just enjoy life. Life is to be enjoyed.

The second one made me cry because... I don't think I'm going to. Instead of clapping and hooting like everyone, I left and came home. So yeah, now I'm on here instead of celebrating with everyone else.

Even the first one actually. Constant reminders that I'm missing out on a lot of life.

I know it's asked a million times on here, but how do you deal with being different from everyone. Why are random things getting to me.

I was isolated by a jealous college friend after confronting her, from my entire cohort and some staff. Indirect comments, baiting me into reactions, threats to call the police. Was advised she had clinical NPD due to drug addiction, impulse control issues overall.

I’d already clashed with a person very publicly before this, so those who disliked me from before were quick to join in this time. Every class had subtle references, digs, and humiliation that only I picked up on. Every minute. Even my friends couldn‘t see at times what was happening.

Instead of collapsing, I outperformed them but this made them more hostile, before letting to get to me and now I’m underperforming. Three years later (and ongoing), I’m becoming physically unwell more frequently and losing hope for my future and career. I see the bad everywhere, and don’t want to live in this world. It’s not made for me and I don’t see how I can succeed if I can’t even stand sitting next to someone evil. Let alone join them in their evil acts. I’m too honest, too moral and just not cut out for this life, and can’t befriend people in power easily.

I think my career has ended before it even started. I made up a random internship when they asked where I got in, and suddenly I get LinkedIn searches from people there when I have nothing to do with that company, so they’re smearing me in other circles too.

How screwed am I and what do I do?

Obviously, we're talking in generalisations and many variables affect life experiences.

Stereotypes aside, how does each type show up/achieve/get up to in the real world? This is based on your live interactions.

Do any differ a lot from their stereotype?

I’m analysing the few strengths we have. I realised most of our problem solving is just us making very good guesses. I’ve noticed I reach the right answer without looking at any evidence or outside data. But it means nothing. Because there’s no reason why I could have tbought that other than, oh, this exists so it could be this.

Even the “improvements” we suggest are not anything out of the ordinary. They’re maybe above average. A lot of our solutions to problems are okayish. Impactful, but nothing mind-blowing. It feels like anyone who cared as much as us can solve it.

sometimes there are moments where I shock myself and I feel brilliant. But everyone has those. Even some sensors I know have made strong intuitive guesses at times. Just not as much as us.

I feel kind of floppy. I don’t have a bank of knowledge, details or experience to rely on like other types. Just my guessing ability.

What is the solution to this issue? How do we start picking up details?

In short, mind basically races to a thought and latches on to it. When there should really be a structured thought process initially.

I get a haircut, friend rocks up with the same one 2 days later. I buy a dress, suddenly another friend's bought the exact same one/style.

Don't even get me started on the problem solving skills. I offer one good insight, suddenly everyone wants to ask good questions and solve problems like an INTJ. While copying my posture and hand gestures. I make a funny joke, suddenly another person tries to copy my way within minutes (and fails miserably). And these people are baseline problem creators. It's mostly these ISTJs I swear.

I bullied one today, told them to fuck off and fix their identity crisis.

I hate people. HELP. URGHFJFJFJFJF

Can anyone write out a detailed step by step learning technique/method that is tailored for INTJs?

I never needed to have one as reading through info was enough most of the time. With practice questions.

But I was wondering if anyone has discovered something more useful that helps us learn + retain and use information better.

Strange thing I observed - I have to know the end to understand the start.

This could be in academics, people, life in general... there needs to be an end goal of some kind which explains how all the learning in between links and makes sense.

For example, MBTI gave me reference points to understand people, and therefore life overall. I would have never understood people, or why they do what they do, or learnt to read them without understanding society as an entire system first.

Previously, I was just "describing what I saw" when it came to reading people. She looks upset, he looks arrogant. But now having learnt their general fears, thoughts, compulsions, weaknesses through theory, I have a 3D interpretation of people. People I thought who were 'bad' aren't necessarily as bad and people I thought were good aren't necessarily all that good.

But I had to understand the various roles people have in society and why those roles are needed first and how we operate as a whole, and why certain people are treated and how that affects their behaviour. Whereas most other people seem perceptive of others without MBTI. They just naturally seem to know how people work. I often wonder whether I'm that great at analysing if I needed to cheat and read others' analysis first to inform my own?

Idk if I've articulated this properly.

I hate being in groups. But now I also hate even watching groups. And even hearing people speak. Just looking at people in general. I get nauseous.

dynamics are literally the same in any group. One guy trying to self-promote themselves, someone cracking jokes that immediately undermine a good point made by an intellectual, someone being a people-pleaser, someone using weaponised stupidity....

EWWWWW guys.

It's not just me, right?

:)))

Someone just threatened me by reminding me 'we live in a small city'

My mistake: said a few good/basic insights back when I had no people-reading skills and couldn't tell who was insecure and who wasn't. Now I've got a target on my back. I worry how badly this affects you in your career, which they know matters to me.

Good thing is, I've done absolutely nothing. Bad thing, people believe what they want to believe.

Does anyone know what this is called: No matter where I go, even to a different country and meet new people there, I start imaging people's reactions if they heard the fake rumours about me and how they'd turn on me too. I feel 'exposed' and like I'm trying to hide something when there's nothing to ?

Have people ever remembered you later on in life, when it hits them that you helped them in a way no one else would?

Or do your ex-friends remember good memories of you after ousting you out the friendship circle because of their own insecurities? Or even try contacting you after?

Wondering if we're just forgotten after all

I(NTJ) was asked to give a speech today unexpectedly. I had little time to prepare. After the speech, I went straight to her to leave the venue as we had a lunch scheduled.

My professors and peers stopped me on the way out to congratulate me and told me I did really well, which I didn’t expect. I turned to my istj friend who had a very sullen expression on her face. She seemed off the entire day, and treated me as if I did something wrong.

It happened another time where I got an answer right and she just went quiet.

She cheered up by the end of lunch though.

She’s smart too and she knows it, so why is she unhappy when others have their turn?

I clown myself by making fun of my hair and clothes to make her feel better, but she still just… makes me feel bad?

Any advice, ISTJs?

Edit: Thanks for the suggestions guys, idk who downvoted them all but I upvoted all the helpful ones !!

my entj father acts attacked when someone challenges him. He twists facts, supports views he didn't before to win. He's hurt good people for petty reasons. My Fi as an INTJ is always baseline pissed at him. And he doesn't even realise he can be misinterpreting someone's point completely.

he doesn't deserve the chip on his shoulder because he is inwardly selfish and only stands for himself and him LOOKING 'right', not even being right. And he can go to any extent to not only prove it but destroy the other person completely. He doesn't even realise it.

I think I found out why I don't like to speak to my dad anymore. Or my entj ex, who's been slandered on here plenty - I hate that I am forced to appreciate and care about them but their care for me is ultimately conditional and limited.

Also, if you don't come out as a stronger and better person after a trauma, does that mean you're weak and in the wrong? The good person usually wins. How do you deal with learning things about yourself based on how you handle things and hating yourself even more?

Noticed many ENFJs around me sit with one leg up on a chair. With the other leg resting on the foot that's on the chair.

Do you guys have a habit of doing this :D

If you could trade your Ni's occasional magical ability for a more consistent, stable and conventional life, would you?

Other types don't seem as ambitious or focused as us because their functions allow them to appreciate life with breadth. They are just as smart, but don't hyperfocus - because honestly why would you?

If you could go out and befriend an entire room, why would you be stuck at work trying to prove yourself in one task? Or if you were sporty and athletic and could do a lot of Se stuff successfully, why would you prioritise deep thinking ??

I always think that our focus, goal-oriented nature is because our eggs are all in one basket - the intelligence one. Because we started life above average in that. With few other natural gifts.

And sadly there's still other types who are more hard-working, focused, set up for success with all the bits that we're missing, in order to live a full life. How is this fair?

People find me petty, avoidant, childish when I door slam them. But I don't do it because I'm immature. I actually can't go back to liking you the same way once my feelings have been hurt.

It's happened with family members too. We've had arguments, and the relationship has never gone back to what it was like and slowly degrades more with time even though the relationship still exists of course.

I find this is something I can't change no matter what. I can give people chances, keep them around, but I mentally distance so far although I tell myself it's irrational.

This is alienating me from people, maybe not physically but psychologically. I don't know why I can't let go of things and just move on. This is not how normal people live. I am worried about my ability to function in society as an adult.

People literally stare at me like I'm some strange, hurtful being who doesn't deserve to be here.

*idk how rational this is, but i think the root cause is I feel the person gets away with hurting me much more than I ever hurt them and I never receive an apology that matches that. It's always just a request to cheer up instead of being accountable. Then they frame me as too serious.

I personally think ENTPs are much more intelligent than INTJs, so wanted your two cents:

Were INTJs, Tesla and Franklin overrated? For example, some of Tesla's claims were completely outlandish because he understood some parts of physics too intuitively to be accurate. Some also say Franklin got Photo 51, but couldn't interpret it properly after and therefore her she was just a technician. Then they were naive and didn't understand how to play people.

Do you think INTJ's smartness is limited to whatever Ni automatically does for them? We don't seem to have any actual skills beyond that.

Every time I read about an INTJ famous person and what they did, there seems to be an instant critique that their intelligence/decisions were overrated because they were intuitive where they should have been practical and informed.

In contrast to Richard Feynman (ENTP), his brilliance and findings are never questioned at all. He was well-liked and knew how to look normal.

I ask here because chances are, you will probably know the history and details of this better than the generalised answers on the INTJ sub :)

My favourite INTJs are Nikola Tesla and Rosalind Franklin. Both were recognised after their time. Both were known as brilliant by some. They also seemed a bit too naive for their own good.

But there are lots of people questioning whether they were actually as smart as they're depicted.

For example, some of Tesla's claims were completely outlandish because he understood some parts of physics too intuitively to be accurate. Some also say Franklin got Photo 51, but couldn't interpret it properly after and therefore her role was merely that of a technician.

Every time I read about an INTJ famous person and what they did, there seems to be an instant critique that their intelligence/decisions were overrated. Not bad, just overrated and not as smart as they are hyped up to be. Because their weaknesses did show in equal measure.

I ask this because I feel overrated irl too.

Whereas other scientists' intelligence is not questioned. Maybe their morals, decisions and personal lives, but I haven't heard anyone call their work overhyped.

So our smartness = only as far as our intuition takes us, huh

Our inability to make the hard choices and inability to go through the full pain that comes with learning/doing anything without shortcuts, holds us back right?

More so in a psychological way but also we don't get enough data on the task or others.

I also realised that our "efficient" ideas only work after we learn the full method first. We can't just decide a step is not useful before we see how the whole thing works properly.

That's why we need such a structured environment which covers all these steps. But when it's just you, your senses and experiences that need to seek this learning out, I realised how lost we get. I think that's why some of us feel dissatisfied, because deep down we've taken lots of shortcuts and shot ourselves in the foot.

People seem to focus a lot of individual features like jawline, straight nose etc. But I just tend to see the whole face.

My idea of ‘attractive’ is often meh to others and vice versa.

does this happen to you? As Se is developing, I’m starting to see what others mean, but still.