u/WorkLifeScience

Ich bin nicht krank. Einfach erschöpft. Mein Urlaub musste ich schon in Januar eintragen, und mit den ganzen Kita-zu Tagen haben ich keine Tage mehr übrig. Was macht man in dem Fall? Ich habe mich nie im Leben krankgemeldet, wenn ich nicht flach im Bett lag. Aber gerade liegen mein Gehirn und Seele flach, und ich habe Angst, dass es langsam Richtung Burnout läuft. Kontext: mein Mann und ich arbeiten beide in Vollzeit, Kind ist 3 und in Kita, wit sind Ausländer ohne Familie in der Nähe.

Three year of lifting my toddler, and my arms, especially biceps, are absolutely huge. A post popped up in my feed, where a woman was proudly showing off her arms after years of exercise. I was like "that's me, just no weights" 😂

That's it... Do you have some unexpected physical changes since having kid?

Hello everyone, I'm hoping for some words of advice.

My daughter has always been a sensitive kid, starting with colic as baby and screaming and stubbornness as toddler. I even find toddlerhood easier and less anxiety inducing, because I know she's fine.

However, since 1-2 months ago she has started waking up so grumpy. She immediately starts yelling at dad to go away, whatever I do is wrong, and there so much yelling from her side. I suspect she's hangry, so we do everything in our power to get her start eating, but it's a battle.

So instead of having a calm morning with breakfast and play before kindergarten, it's so chaotic and honestly depressing, because this just kinda sets the tone for the day.

She loves her daycare, so I think that's not the issue. Is this just a toddler being toddler, or are we doing something wrong?

Sorry for a mop post, I just feel safe posting here...

I'm mom to an only, and she's the most precious kid in the world to me, as we all probably think about our kids 🙂 However I'm the older sibling myself, and I was always the "practice" child. Unnecessary strictness and rules, etc. Everything I wanted, I couldn't have, but my sister did down the line. Education, trips, pets, own room, etc.

I worked through these feelings in therapy, because it was very hard to feel deserving of anything, since my whole childhood was based on denying things or experiences. However, what makes me sad is that the same now is happening to my daughter.

My parents are uninvolved and in best case minimal effort grandparents. I have asked them for help with some basics, like borrowing a crib from the neighbors, etc. when we visit (we live abroad) - they got the worst, broken, unsafe things for my daughter (crib, carseat, etc.). And they were so stubborn when I asked them to pick up the good stuff from a friend who has offered their crib, or that we buy things new for their house/car, because what they have is "good enough". Oh, and of course they didn't gift us absolutely anything for our daughter.

Now several years down the line my sister had a baby. He's adorable and we love him, but it's also obvious how much more my parents are stepping up as grandparents. Now they were suddenly open to us buying a better car seat for their car, of course the version that my nephew can use (I bought one, because I want him to be safe - we declined to drive with my parents before that). Also they have suddenly bought AC, something I begged them to do (again offered to pay for it) after my daughter has spent a month screaming as a baby because how hot it was, but back then everyone was against it.

I can't help, but to feel so hurt and disappointed. I don't want to be, and I don't want to be petty. I just hate that my daughter is getting the same shit treatment I did as a kid.

ETA: to end on a positive note - I have an absolutely wonderful MIL who is doing everything to be the dream grandma to my daughter. However my husband was an only, so she also values him and her granddaughter more. I am so lucky to have her in my life though, and I'm so happy that my daughter has a grandma who makes an effort, plays with her, takes her to the theatre, etc.

... and I don't know how to deal with it any more.

He has a good job, he's paid well, and it's a career that's seen as highly valuable in our society. However, he's always complaining about someone else working less, earning more, having more prestige, etc.

I am so tired of it, and honestly even find it repulsive. He is not doing anything to change his situation (because it's rather good), but he continues to focus only on the negative.

He wasn't always like that, actually on the contrary, he used to be an extremely positive person. We did have some bitter professional and person moments, but I was able to move on, and he wasn't.

I did go to therapy though, he refuses to... What can I do to help him (and by proxy myself)?

Nowhere!

Amongst changing my job, a big move, and some major family drama, I just didn't get to think about our vacation. My husband only "plans" it if I keep putting pressure on him and tell him what and where exactly we should go.

So it seems like we aren't going anywhere this year. And it made me realize how almost nothing would ever happen or change if I wasn't the one thinking about it.

Weirdly, I'm not even sad or upset about it. I'm considering doing an experiment and seeing what happens if I don't plan other things for 2-3 months. No one will ever visit a dentist anymore, no more weekend trips, no more next shoe size ready in advance..?

End of rant.

Just a rant I guess. I feel like I'm constantly inflamed. I work full time, have a toddler who still likes to be carried occasionally, I do gentle strength training twice a week and get most of my movement from running after my kid on the playground.

Honestly, I feel like this is pretty average. I used to do way more sports and have grueling work hours. Yet my whole body hurts. Muscles, joints... I feel stiff, even with all the stretching... I'm so confused....

Hello everyone,

as many people in this sub, I don't have anyone to practice with me. I got my license 10 years ago, but then moved to a big city where having a car is more of an annoyance than a perk. Now I have to drive for work, but I am struggling with driving anxiety (partially due to having lost friends in a horrible accident, so the fear of death feels very real).

I managed to feel ok while driving in the city, though that's stressful on it's own, but we have strict speed limits so it feels safe(er). However I can't find the courage to go on the highway, and I will need it for work eventually. I'm so scared of entering and leaving the highway, especially if there's a sharp curve after. How do I get over it??

Just a vent. My friend is on a super long maternity leave (2+ years), now merging into getting a second kid soon. She mentioned a very extravagant weekend away with her husband, so I commented something like "good for you" thinking how her husband makes great money.

Well, turns out that actually her dad is paying her a salary (it's a family business), so she can collect state benefits once the second child comes. To explain it in simple terms, in our country the state looks at the last 12 paychecks and that determines how high the money during maternity leave will be. Is her dad doing the same for other female employees? Of course not.

This has really made me upset, even though I usually don't care, because I love my job and am very proud to have build my career on my own. But then it got me thinking how unfair it is that some moms have to go back to work much sooner then they'd want to (I'm especially shocked by the USA). And then this example of treating women so differently within the same company made me sick to my stomach.

Again, I love my job, I was so happy to go back, but I did have my maternity leave, I did have a choice, and it breaks my heart to read posts on this and other parenting subs, where moms have to go back to work before they're ready.

A pointless rant I guess. As it inequality is really something new in this world.