u/XxVampFangxX

Hello, Ive been struggling with this issue since ive been around 9 or 10ish years old i believe and now i am 24. I need actually good advices or maybe some hope that this will pass because by now it has turned into addiction that i have no idea how to get out of. Are there people who have fully recovered from sh?

Cw for mentions of r*pe, p*dophilia, i*cest etc.

For context;

Hes been obviously through things when he was a child. Hes a did system. Recently I found out hes been on a, yes just as said in the screenshot even if it sounds absolutely ridiculous, right wing communist r*pe p*do i*cest n*cro server where he kept venting to everyone, kept engaging in this type of (fictional) media, discourse, etc etc. I wish I took pictures on my phone of it but I was too shaken from it. He kept telling me how it wasnt him for monrhs despite literally it being people from his system (he used bots in the server to indicate who was when here), sending screenshots of his own system app, and it being again, from his literal account. Its been a mess since I found out and its been a constant gaslighting from him how its not him or not about me (despite him using my words in there basically mocking me, then calling me an ex, saying how he needs to leave me while going as far as to writing a paragraph on 28 reasons why he should leave me and steal my things for some reason for profit). Now that I confront him he keeps arguing with me in all caps (we live together but I tell him to be in different rooms away from me) how my mistakes were always fine and how Im so perfect *sarcastically* and how when he makes a mistake its so so bad and I dwell on it etc and how he didnt know any better and how they all said how this is coping (despite him literally getting mentally way way worse ever since he joined these people).

For another context, he also knows I was myself forced into similiar enough spaces (but I was physically trapped there in another country away from my family so its a little different). Now he (to my feelings, at least) is using it against me by saying, quoting, "WHY DI YOU ACT LIKE WHAT YOU WENT TBROUGH WAS WAY WORSE THAN ANYTHING I WENT THROUGH I NEVER FUCKING WANTED A COMPETITION BOTH OUR PASTS WERE BAD THERES NO FUCKING COMPETITION" even though he himself started comparing our traumas for some reason and now hes turning it against me for explaining mine to him. For the record, I was manipulated for 5 straight years and I by now obviously learned better and never with him ever mentioned such things. Its been 2 years of us dating and me always telling him how bad these things are (when I did my mistakes nobody obviously told me so I got hurt :/ ). Now he cries how nobody ever told him anything and how he doesnt know any better. No, he doesnt have any very recent traumatic events. I myself am a system so I understand how persecutors (which I assume this guy is) work but I dont know how to get out of this. Its been 2 or 3 days of straight arguing because whenever I tell him how deeply grossed out and hurt I am by all this he just turns it against me and gets verbally violent. I have no way of kicking him out or anything. Let alone kicking myself out :/ we rent a place together. Im the only one in the contract. Hes said a ton of nasty and just terrible things about me also on his..uh. weird jirai secret vent account on twitter, then said how its actually headmates arguing to headmates here (again, despite using my own words and MY experiences). Dont know what to think of it and I really need help from other diagnosed systems. Please.

- Flins (because Ill need to have my head know later on who posted it)

Czy ktos wie czy w empiku na świętokrzyskiej tym 2 pietrowym mozna normalnie usiasc poczytac te ich ksiazki?¿

Szukalem biblioteki ktora mialaby sekcje ksiazek angielskich ale jedyna biblioteka ktora *podobno* cokolwiek ma ma nie za duzo ich i jest ona z godzine komunikacja miejska odemnie ( jestem osoba niepelnosprawna wiec nie za dobrze znosze godzinne podroze w te i we wte :/ ) dlatego ten empik bedzie do mnie najblizej ale boje sie ze mnie wyrzuca za siedzenie czytanie ksiazek.

Hello all!! I desperately need your suggestions which bedrock horror mods are actually worth playing. I started going around curseforge and "criticizing" specifically the horror mods (I dont think its the right word but you get the thing. I rate them) and I realized 99% of horror mods for bedrock are just...scary OP creature that doesnt despawn and breaks your house. After 5 minutes it gets less scary and more like baby zombie type of annoying. Im looking for something atmospheric, something not done before, something actually well made. Does anything like this actually exist for bedrock? (I accept java mods suggestions too but for now my laptop is sadly broken and I cant play"" thats why I take bedrock suggestions first)

قررت أن أسأل من المصدر عمّا إذا كانت أزمة هويتي مبررة. جدي من جهة أمي كان مصريًا، وهذا يجعل أمي نصف مصرية ونصف بولندية، وأفترض أنني أنا 25٪ مصرية و75٪ بولندية. أشعر بسخافة حتى وأنا أضع هذه النسب، لأنني أشعر وكأنني أشبه أولئك البيض الذين يقولون إنهم 2٪ إيطاليون ويعتبرون أنفسهم أشخاصًا ملوّنين بسبب ذلك... على أي حال.

والداي جعلا تربيتي مصرية إلى حد كبير، وتعلمت عن الثقافة المصرية أكثر مما تعلمت عن الثقافة البولندية، رغم أنني عشت طوال حياتي في بولندا أيضًا , لكن في نوع من العزلة، فقد كنت طفلة مريضة، وبقيت في المنزل وتلقيت تعليمًا منزليًا حتى منتصف المرحلة الابتدائية. ثم بعد وفاة جدي، قررا فجأة أن مصر لم تكن يومًا جزءًا من عائلتنا (رغم أنني رأيت صورًا له في مصر وبعض التذكارات التي احتفظنا بها بعد وفاته). أعتقد أن السبب كان شعورهما بالخجل من ذلك أو شيء من هذا القبيل، على أي حال، والداي غريبان وهذا ليس موضوعنا هنا.

عشت حياتي كلها في حالة من الحيرة، ومؤخرًا فقط شعرت بالراحة لإعادة فتح هذا الموضوع مع شريكي (وهو جزائري) الذي دعمني في ذلك لأول مرة. عندما ذكرت هذا الأمر لأي شخص آخر من شمال إفريقيا , حيث كان لدي بعض الأصدقاء من هناك سابقًا ,, كانوا يتهمونني بالعنصرية لمجرد أنني “أريد أن أكون إفريقية” بينما أنا بالنسبة لهم بيضاء بالكامل.

أحتاج أن أعرف ماذا يعتقد أي منكم. أعتذر إذا كان هذا المنشور خارج الموضوع مقارنةً ببقية المنشورات التي رأيتها هنا، لكن أعتقد أنه من الأفضل لي الآن أن أسأل أشخاصًا من المكان الذي تنحدر منه عائلتي جزئيًا عمّا يعتقدونه.

ive been kicked out by my parents not that long after 18. i had a job, i lost it, and with it i lost my mind honestly even though i had it only for 3 months. i was rped before by my exes and all these things, now i fell into this horrible hole which doesnt feel like it has an exit. i hate people but not in "omg everyone sucks and is boring" way. im scared of being outside, of social interactions, by now ive gotten into horrible debt to keep paying this stupid rent for this stupid house that falls apart in front of me. i have no desire to be social. i have no friends. its extremely exhausting to get any friends in first place and keep these friendships up. i tried to get a job recently but my anxiety over seeing people at all was so bad id throw up outside before morning commute, and after just 2 days at work i ended up getting horribly sick (fever and coughing up blood whatever that was) and so they fired me for it because i literally could not stand nor work. i gave them a heads up but they still fired me, whatever. now im at least 10k in debt which at least to me is a horrendous amount, and i have no way to get out of here. ive been trying to attempt many times due to my situation. i cant get myself to even want to be social or put effort into maintaining friendships or even start them. being autistic doesnt help it either. please, if any of you ever recovered or have any tips on how to help yourself, please comment. im tired of this. its been years now.