u/Y_E_E_Z_Y

Hello!!!
I have been at my job for around 4 years now, on the same team. Disclaimer/ I work a very emotionally and physically intense job. I’m a last responder of sorts. It’s a government thing and tensions are naturally high. Not an easy job but a very fulfilling one. You definitely have to have a different mindset to deal with a job like this.

Anyway my team is composed of 5 women including myself. We all love the job, but we definitely work in different ways. I am a pretty hard worker, and I like to always try my best and make sure I deliver good quality work. I have a few mental health struggles, which I medicate for and go to therapy often. I am also autistic. I am definitely strange but I always try my best to be nice to everyone and treat people with respect.

The issue is, I can be very sensitive to people sometimes. And I let things get to me. There is one girl on my team, let’s call her Anne, who is an absolute menace. I think she mentioned her mum was a principal, and she was raised pretty strict. But this girl Anne is really mean. She has been a straight up bitch to me since I started working. The way she treats you depends on her mood, and how much she likes you. She will be friendly to you, but will not hesitate to snitch if you don’t do things her way. She treats everyone different. I also don’t want to say this is a 100% race thing, but I also feel she might be racial profiling because she is nice to the white girls on the team but is mean to me and another girl (Lulu), and we are both ethnic.

She loves to control you, and tell you what to do. What she thinks you could be doing. There’s no trust. She acts like the team lead, even though she isn’t. we all work the same level and the same pay. We have a manager. Sometimes she will ask rhetorical questions in the team chat that are obviously something she wants you to do. Like “are you going to send a follow up email?”. I find her behaviour really demeaning and she has caused me a lot of trouble and turmoil over the past years.

I LOVE my job. But I hate her. I would stay in my job forever if it wasn’t for her. Sometimes she fucks me up so much with her bossiness and attitude, that I keep thinking about her a lot and it messes up my day. What sucks is that she bosses you around, but at the same time doesn’t contribute the same amount to our work. She tells us what to do, but you can’t ask her to do anything. I don’t think anyone has ever asked her for help. She isn’t a “teammate”. For example, some of us will tag team tasks or split up things that need to be done. She will only do that with one other girl, “Stacy” because they are close friends.

Meanwhile she is mean to the other ethnic girl “Lulu”. Lulu has a LOT of shit to deal with in her personal life, but Anne loves to treat her like shit and talk to her like she’s an idiot. She will get irritated if Lulu asks a question and sometimes give a sarcastic answer. “You would need to do that, because then the job wouldn’t be finished then would it?”.

I’ve spoken to my manager about this before, and so has Lulu. Lulu is aware of when Anne is being condescending. She feels the same way I do. The job is shitty because of Anne. And our manager does nothing. They made us take this conflict management course, which Anne and the other girls were pissed about because it took up work time.

Ultimately, I want to stop giving a fuck.
It isn’t worth it for me to keep working extra hard, coming up with ideas, trying to optimise things and make a difference, when I constantly get shot down. I will be in a good mood and recovering, but then Anne will fuck my day up. I’m tired of caring about this job so much. I just want to do the job and go home. I don’t want to be affected by the small things or what people say. Especially mean girls.

any advice in general, on how to deal with mean people and how to detach from a demanding job?

I have been struggling with smoking for the past 3 years or so. I briefly did a [paid] study that asked me to abstain completely for 30 days, worked great. Obviously I went back to smoking right after, but the abstinence has shown me what life is like without weed and I've been trying to find a middle ground ever since.

Vyvanse has been helping tremendously with this, since starting it the past 3 months. I also switched to a one-hitter, and only bought balanced low thc-cbd strains. At the start I did have moments where i would wake and bake, but it was still better because of the one-hitter. Then i slowly started to only smoke twice a day, and eventually once a day. Then my partner and I started using edibles, and that helped a lot!

For the past 2-3 weeks I have been doing edibles and smoking less. The effects are easier on me, the dose is controlled, and i don't feel anxious or all over the place. At first I was having high cbd, low thc gummies like pearls where it's 2 mg thc. I found 5 mg to be a good high. Anything higher than that was a bit risky. Eventually I stopped buying flower but it was tough. You just crave the instant hit, and taking edibles waiting for the effects to kick in is annoying.. but once it does, it's good.

So this week I ran out of edibles and had nothing, kept fighting myself to not go out to buy weed. Eventually I caved, but told myself I would go back to edibles once I ran out. Well, yesterday I took a hit and.... it was too much. What was an enjoyable high quickly became anxiety and I even had a brief moment where I got up and.. shrieked? The high was very overwhelming and I felt my body shake. Did my usual greened out tactics, and the high went away... but I've learned my lesson.

It's back to edibles for now. It's a good middle ground for me that's working so far. Controlled dose, cbd to balance things out, and the high is not too overwhelming. Easier on the lungs too.

Weed is so enjoyable in moderation, unfortunately it takes time to reach that level and I'm pretty sure I will slip back in and out. Smoking constantly for the past years made me not even enjoy it. I don't even know why I was smoking, what I am trying to achieve.. Just shutting my brain off, but putting myself at risk of an anxiety attack.

Very grateful for this community though, it's nice to know we're not the only ones trying to achieve moderation and a healthy relationship with the plant.

Our insurance is with Manulife. Been looking to start therapy lately. Made the unfortunate and rookie mistake of having a session with a PSYCHOTHERAPIST who was supervised by another psychotherapist.. turns out insurance wouldn’t cover it. Money down the drain.

I’m now looking for another therapist, I guess a MSW since they’re covered. I see that we have unlimited sessions on TELUS one health with our EFAP. Wondering if anyone has advice or experience with using an MSW from there, or should I just keep looking outside their network, find one on my own and file with insurance?
Does the level or quality of care differ? A HUGE part of my needing therapy is work, so I do not want to spend a single penny on this lol

I work for a government body in a field that is very niche; forensic pathology. I’m exposed to death/decedents on a daily basis. It’s a pretty stressful job, everyone is on edge, standards are high.. it’s hard to find someone to talk to who can understand, let alone needing to talk about things from my childhood.

Anyway, I have recently started looking more into therapy. I used True Self Counselling and found 2 therapists. The first one, I met with yesterday for a 15 min consultation. Part of it was me needing to let her know what I do for a living, to make sure she’s comfortable and experienced with the subject matter. She said she was, and then mentioned she has a friend who works there. I just laughed and said oh nice. The meet and greet went well overall, and I booked an initial session with her for next week.

Now, looking back at it, I’m wondering if it would be better for me to find someone else. I don’t know how comfortable I would be with knowing she could potentially know a coworker of mine. A huge reason for my need for therapy is because of the stress work causes me, particularly the people I work with. I need to talk to someone unbiased yet understanding.

I understand patient confidentiality and stuff but I still think there’s a risk to it. She’s also fairly young, and only has about 2 years of experience under her belt and is a recent graduate.

The only other option I’ve considered is telling her my position and asking her to let me know if her friend works in close proximity to me . If the friend does, I’ll need to find someone else.

I’d like your thoughts on this. Would you move forward, or look for someone else? I’m new to therapy and I’m also worried about making the therapist disappointed if I cancel.

Thanks!