u/YoHeadAsplode

Long time lurker and need advice. I am also very annoyed right now.

I own a business and I am proud to say I employee over 100 people. It is something I started over 30 years ago.

My DIL is helpless or just spoiled. It might actually be a combination of the two. She has been a stay at home mom for the pass 7+ years. The kids are now old enough that they are all in school and she is looking to go back to work.

She used to be a server but when she married my son stopped all together. She dropped out of college because of her failing grades. My DIL is very beautiful but she doesn’t seem to have much going on in her head. I know it is harsh to say but I had to  literally help her fill out basic document multiple timess.  I have gotten multiple calls to answer simple questions many times.

If she plans something it is going to be a mess. Every single time her plans have fallen apart due to bad planning. Example: her kids birthday party, she never booked the trampolines place for the party. So they don’t have a room and all the decorations had nowhere to go.

She can’t fill up her own gas, or she just refuses too? She has asked me before to go get her gas for her car and apparently my son does that often. I can go on and on.

The problem is she wants to go back to work and not as a server. She wants a career.  My son asked me if I was willing to give her a job. I asked to talk to her and when on the phone with her asked about her resume. She doesn’t have one…

I told her no, becuase it is clear she is unqualified.  My sons got back on the phone and we got into an argument.

He told me this is unfair since he gave his sister ( my daughter) a job. 

During Covid, I gave my youngest daughter a job at the company because she was out of work. She was qualified for the job ( actually over qualified, she has a masters)  the investment paid off becuase she worked her ass off. She also went through multiple interviews before hand and started at the bottom of the food chain.  

I told him that wasn’t the same thing and his sister wasn’t helpless. He asked to jsut make her a secretary or something and I told him no again.

He is pissed. My husband agrees with me on this, but I know it will mess with our relationship

I (45F) just lost my son (26m). My son is not biological my husband. And when we first found out my SIL came down to check on us. On the 2nd day she asked her brother my husband to make her a crab boil and didn’t pay for any of the food. The weeks before the memorial all my family members came down to help us and pay for items that we need. My husband’s family didn’t call or send us a card. The day of the memorial I asked everyone to wear black with an hint of sunflower due to that being the last activity we did as a family.

My SIL wore a dress with just all flowers and a sunflower like a hat and then proceeded to talk about how she is the lit auntie and how everyone wants to be around her and how she say him in her dreams. After the memorial she was flirting with my brother who is married. Then the day after the memorial my family went out to cheer my kids up my SIL waited until everyone left she sits next to me and said you looked relived I asked her what did you say. She said it again. Then talked about how my sister were looking older than there ages and how one of my sister is looking older than she is.

Then on the last day that she was here she texted me she left me something I looked at and it turned out to be champagne

Now I told my husband what she said and she told him what she said that it was an accident but never told me that she is sorry. I told my husband that she needs to leave and I don’t want her at my house.

Aita for not wanting my SIL to stay at my house anymore

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I (28f) called my mom's (60f) dress trashy, now she is mad at me and I don't know what to do. I am the maid of honor at my twin sister's wedding this summer. My sister specifically requested that my Mom and the bridal party wear natural fibers because her wedding dress is simple and going to be made out of cotton. It is a western wedding so think denim and sundresses. That kind of vibe. My mom has been obsessed over what she is going to wear and does not agree with my sister's dress code. It's been driving us both crazy. She FaceTimed my sister once her dress arrived and revealed a body-con silk dress with boning, very low cleavage and a slit up her leg. Definitely way off the vibe. My sister was trying to be polite but obviously was not very happy with my mom's dress choice especially since she is walking her down the aisle too. She has asked my sister about the dress several times and my sis was so fed up she finally asked my mom to stop talking about the dress. My mom responded by calling her “self righteous” and said “well I have to look better than the groom's mom.” Which we both felt like this revealed why she is acting so crazy about her dress because it is some kind of made up competition for her. I ended up texting my sister saying that my mom looked trashy in her dress.
 
A few weeks later, I had a physical therapy appointment because I was hit by a car recently (whole other story) and my mom wanted to come with me to go shopping after. She decided to stay in the car with AC running so she could knit. When I came back to the car she was hysterically crying in the car begging me to take her home. I was concerned that something really bad happened like someone died or she was sick or something. After some pressing, she confessed that she looked through my phone while I was in physical therapy ( I had no idea she knew my passcode) and that she read all the text messages between my sister and me. She said now she really knows how we feel about her and that she is never getting over this. She then proceeded to jump out of my car while I was driving and I had to chase her down the sidewalk and beg her to get back into my car. I ended up driving her to my dad’s office and he drove her home.

My dad is saying that she is absolutely devastated and may not come to the wedding anymore. I haven't spoken to her since. I feel so bad that she saw the messages but I am very disturbed that she went through my phone in the first place.

Our mom was really digging in my phone because she went back far to find those messages. She was alone in my car for 40 min, I think that she may have seen my nudes to my bf too. I just feel like my privacy has been entirely invaded. I am also living with my parents because I got hit by a car and lost my job recently but I do not feel comfortable staying with them anymore. I don't know what to do. So what do you think?  Am I the asshole for calling my Mom's dress trashy?

I have been trying to find a particular book I read in sixth grade! It was over 20 years ago so my memory is sparse.

I am pretty sure the cover was red, and it hard funny artwork of the stories in an art style that looked like it was from an amphora. Stories in particular I remember being illustrated was the story of Orpheus (two pics, one of him singing to Hades and the other of when he looked back) and Hephaestus catching Aphrodite and Ares in bed with his net. I know there were more but those two are strongest in my mind.

Any help would be appreciated!

I (36 f) am a single mom of 5 children. 7 year old twin boys, 3 year old twin girls, and a 2mo baby boy. Their father left last year early on in the pregnancy with our youngest and moved across country. While he hasn't been physically involved or met our youngest, the boys know they can call him whenever they want, and generally I try to give them all space when they talk.

Last week, the boys asked for a specific jurassic world toy. They have quite a few but not this one. When I went to the store that EXACT toy happened to be on clearance and there were two left on the shelf, so I just figured out how to make the budget work and brought those suckers home.

I got home, and I gave the dinosaurs to them while their sisters were at their dance class… and listened to them complain for 20 minutes that I had gotten the wrong toy. I pulled up the video that they had shown me when they asked for them, and they said it was the wrong color/size.

I suggested getting them out of the box maybe they just needed to see it with its tail attached and out of the box. They didnt want me to help open the boxes because I would ruin it, so I got them their scissors and let them do it. One boy cuts though part of the box and started shouting at me about how I didn't stop him from makeing a mistake. I told him to stop talking to me that way, I offered to help and you quite rudely yelled at me no. At this exact moment his brother decided to tell me that this toy was stupid and he named a different dinosaur he wanted. He just… kinda slammed the whole thing on the ground.

So I stood up, took both the dinosaurs still in their boxes, and put them in my closet. I told them maybe we would try again tomorrow when I figure out what the heck is going on in their noggin's but this isnt how you speak to me or how you treat people who just did something nice for you. 

I get a call that evening from their dad, asking what was going on, that the boys said I was taking all of their toys and throwing them away. I sort of explained the situation, and what they said to me. He was quite for a long time because this was how HE used to speak to me, and he had never heard it from them before. It only truly started after he took off.

He said they were wrong but I was equally wrong for taking something away that I had just given them, that it's going to make them think that their belongings aren't actually theirs. I said we are going to have to disagree because this wasn't some toy they were just using in a way I disagreed with, they were being complete boogers to me as a direct response to the gift itself. 

We ended the call before it got to heated, and I just don't believe what I did was wrong. When I asked him he suggested I should have done, he just said “ I don't have all the answers for you OP, just that you made the wrong choice here " and now I have gone from confused and a little hurt to just mad.

Aita?

I broke up with my ex 7 years ago, it was a really bad relationship. He was extremely controlling & manipulative among other things but without going into detail long story short it was just very fucked up. Since the breakup he contacted me once around 3 years after trying to reconcile & accept responsibility for his actions but I essentially shut him down. I wasn’t rude (although I don’t think anyone would blame me if I was) but I was blunt & I made it clear (I thought) that there wouldn’t be a chance of reconciliation ever. Within this message I did say that we could be civil and he should move on (whilst I did mean this it was more said because I also hoped that it would suppress any further attempts to contact me grovelling).

Fast forward to recently he drops off a birthday card with 1 ticket to a football match he is playing in. I didnt see him they were left with my dad & the card said something along the lines of ‘if you want to come and support please do if not no worries‘ - I ignored it. I was honestly totally shocked & I almost thought that it was more of a showcase of ‘look at how good I’m doing now’ and not necessarily because he thought I’d ever come (I mean it seems ridiculous to me that he thought I would).

A mutual friend messaged me the day before the match asking if I was going, I said no, that I was really shocked to receive a ticket & would never consider being friends with him.

I recieved a message from his cousin the day of the football match, saying that he (my ex) is devastated because of what I said to the mutual friend, that he is going to pull out of the football match because hes not in the right headspace & the message essentially asked me to message him ‘good luck’ or ‘something to make him feel better’???? I didnt see this message on the day, I saw it two days later and as far as I’m aware the football match still went ahead but in a way I’m glad I didn’t see it on the day because I would have been feeling guilty as if I’d done something terrible to upset someone & ruin a whole event. I essentially replied to his cousin saying that I can’t see what iv done wrong and it seems like I’m just being guilt tripped because I haven’t given the response he hoped for.

AITA for not accepting responsibility for him feeling this way?? AITA for not RSPV’ing to say I won’t attend?? Could I have dealt with this situation better?