u/antenonjohs

Hello!!

I’m 23, looking for women in the US, preferably ages 20-30, but if my writeup really appeals to you I’d be open to slightly expanding that range!

I’ve been vegan for the animals for 10 years!

I’m an actuary, some of my hobbies include pickleball, running, bowling, cycling, card games, and hiking. I also frequent amusement parks to ride roller coasters, probably go somewhere 6 times a year. I like booking up a lot of my free time with activities and going from one activity to the next!

I’m definitely an oddball… I haven’t met anyone quite like me… I suppose for better or worse. I’m good with numbers, have a sharp memory. Quite a logical person too. Default sense of humor is dry sarcasm… often with too good of a poker face for the joke to get through properly. I still believe I’d make a wonderful partner, and would love the opportunity to make that happen with the right woman. Romance has always been a priority for me, and it’s something I can pursue with my whole heart. I can promise you I’m a romantic… but to this point I’ve been more of a closeted romantic, a lot of my friends have no idea the romantic side of me is as strong as it is.

I’m 6’ tall 160, fairly health conscious. I could go either way on kids. My industry has enough remote work that I can relocate to somewhere else within the US if things work out well enough, and in the meantime I could travel to see you. I’m an only child, so I’m really not tied down anywhere.

I’m looking for a good lover. I think the best fits would be a conversationalist that can make me smile and laugh. Someone with ambition towards pursuing something (I’m not overly picky on what “something” is). Someone who wants a superb, 10/10 romantic relationship. Someone who’s at least moderately health conscious. Someone who hopefully brings in a decent sized social circle as well.

But the DMs are wide open, after all, if I knew exactly what the right fit was for me, I probably wouldn’t be posting on Reddit. So give it a shot. And one DM means you’ll get some pictures of me… I can likely already be doxxed from the information provided… but I don’t need it to be THAT easy.

Hello! I’m a 23M, recently moved to the area, and as implied by the title, I’m single.

I’m wondering if there are good singles mixers in the area. I’ve heard OK things about the Thursday Dating events, haven’t heard much about any of the speed dating. I went to a pitch a friend event and would likely go again, but those are free. I’ve been to the Buckthorn Singles Club and think it’s decent, but now that they’re capping registration I expect to see a lot fewer women my age there.

Anyone have some insights? I see that a company called Pre-Dating does the speed dating, I’d be happy to go if women my age or at least open to dating a 23 year old were there, but dropping $36 and hours of my time to be too young isn’t appealing

Thanks!!

Wondering if there’s much of a consensus on this. The precedent seems to be that it doesn’t matter much at all, as I don’t think anyone in the HOF is in based on their results on the Champions Tour. But what about people who are “Hall of Very Good” that then have an elite senior tour career?

Examples- Miguel Angel Jimenez— 21 European Tour wins, followed by 17 Champions Tour wins (3 majors).

Steve Stricker— 12 PGA Tour wins, 18 Champions Tour wins (7 majors).

Should their Champions Tour careers give either of them a boost into serious consideration, or should jt be meaningless?

That’s one of the worst online tropes that gets parroted. Yes, some people will obviously find success with just doing what makes them happy otherwise. But if you’re struggling to find dates, and already have the rest of your life in relative order, your best chances will come by intentionally doing things with the purpose of getting a date out of them.

There is also a weird standard where doing activities to indirectly find dates is criticized. Like men are discouraged to volunteer, go to a dance class, or join a run club in order to find dates. But I’ve never heard of anyone criticize a man for volunteering, going to a dance class, or joining a run club in order to make friends. Or working a job he doesn’t like in order to make money, not because the job itself is good.

I acknowledge there’s nuance, because in the real world if a man makes it obvious he’s at a social activity just to get dates, he’s going to struggle. So he has to go, talk to some women, and not let on the underlying reason he showed up. But there’s nothing wrong with doing that, and it’s a far more effective strategy for dating than just doing what makes him happy on his own, unless what makes him happy on his own is putting him in proximity to women that are good fits for him (in which case he probably wouldn’t seek out dating advice in the first place).

Hey, I’m a 23M, trying to improve my ability to get dates. It seems this means some combination of flirting at hobby clubs, approaching more in public (grocery stores, festivals, coffee shops), and nightlife.

Right now I’m too passive, make weak romantic first impressions. Have a lot of friends in general, although not friends with women yet in my new city (3.5 million in the metro). So I’m not clueless but not going to crush it from the get go. 6’ and 170-175, usually dressed OK.

Are there any risks to trying to start approaching women in these environments? I feel the world is big enough that I’ll be fine as long as I don’t touch work or a hobby I participate a lot in that’s male dominated, but leave everything else open. Anyone have experience developing a bad rep from a good faith effort at talking to women and approaching, or is this not something to worry about?

Edit- I’m also here to ask about the risks… if it just doesn’t work that’s OK. I’m not trying to debate the merits of it.

Yesterday, I bowled a scratch sweeper, and did something I don’t think many have done. I averaged in the 150’s for 4 games… and cashed, taking 2nd out of 7 with a 639… could have still cashed with as low as a 615.

Pattern was wolf, although outside of 7 was total OB as the ball would slide about 42ish’ down lane and not recover to the headpin. From 7-7 it played like Wolf— no hold. After a couple frames I gave up on hooking and just threw it dead straight (and didn’t even do that particularly well). Winner was low 700’s, I had the high game of the tournament with a 199.

Anyone have me beat?

Edit— I already have conflicting information… and several comments that don’t appear to be from people that have actually had success from a hobby. I’d really like to hear the success stories, like how did you meet your SO or ex?

I am looking for advice from men (or women) that have had success dating from shared hobbies. Like pickleball, a run club, volunteering, stuff like that.

I’m currently a guy who’s likable and makes friends easily enough, but has zero rizz. But decent self awareness (if a woman is uncomfortable talking to me I’d notice).

Is it best to try flirting the first time I meet women? Because what I’m finding is that I’m talking to them the same way I talk to men, which leads to zero romantic attraction in my experience, and doesn’t make a strong impression. So for people that have success from something like a run club— are you flirting mildly right when you meet women? Or just being friendly and hoping things fall into place more naturally in later interactions? How do you actually make it work?

At the moment it’s too easy for me to default into a normal conversation like “where are you from? What do you do for work? What else do you do for fun?” and it seems unlikely that will actually produce any sparks, even if I’m seeing the same women repeatedly.

Thanks in advance!!

23M. In a bit of a conundrum, and recently moved so adjusting to my new area and figuring out what lifestyle is best.

On paper, I’ve got a lot going on. 6’, make $115K/year at a white collar job in the Midwest. I weigh 175, could run a 5:40 mile, although not very muscular. I have lots of hobbies and friends, friends with several women, although none in my current city.

However, I’ve been single for 5 years, and don’t foresee this changing unless I put significant effort into changing things. Right now, I’m getting about 2-3 first dates a year, and that’s simply not enough for me to be comfortable with my odds of finding a life partner. Especially when I’m meeting so many fewer women nowadays compared to college.

I would especially like to hear advice from men that had most everything else going on in their life besides dating… what clicked for you to find success and turn things around? I’m a little stuck pondering whether to give things a full go, talk to as many women as possible, and work on improving my social skills. It would be a grind, as I don’t really enjoy the process of doing that (I went out to scope the bar scene in my city, didn’t really like actually going out). Yet my “natural lifestyle” puts me in front of maybe 5 single women my age per year, and that’s not enough to feel good about my odds.

Hey! 23M, moved here about a month ago.

Already made some connections but figured I’d post here to look for more.

I’m an actuary, in my free time I play pickleball, run, bowl, cycle, golf, hike, play disc golf (very new), and play poker. I’ve been vegan for a decade. I also like traveling, also like riding roller coasters and go to amusement parks maybe 6 times a year.

I’m pretty health conscious, rarely drink, don’t smoke.

If we have anything in common it’d be great to do something! And if not I’m down to try new things, still exploring the city and what it has to offer!

I occasionally play singles, would say I slightly outperform compared to others that mostly play doubles. Like I’ll mostly beat someone who’s exactly equal in doubles, and break even against someone who’s maybe .125 ahead of me in doubles.

I’m in good cardio shape, quick and have endurance.

Does that mean I can hang around in 3.5 singles, or am I going to get my ass kicked?

Hey, 23M, recently moved (city #2 for me post college). In my last city made a lot of friends, vast majority guys, didn’t go on many dates. Don’t really want to repeat that here.

What are some good ways around here to potentially meet women my age in person?

Likely trying run clubs, pickleball, other rec sports. Open to dancing studios if anything around here is good (although I’m a beginner). Potentially vegan meetups? Other opportunities?

Other info about me (may or may not be relevant). Left leaning politically, stale while collar job, active & social lifestyle, white, been vegan for a long time.

Anyone know what happened to Patrick Brown’s form?? He was a top grandmaster pro a little while back, even made lead card in MPO on Jomez in 2020. Now he’s rated just 958… anyone know why he’s had such a rapid decline?

Mike Moser is older and 986, JohnE McCray is a bit younger and is still 1019, yet PB has fallen off substation.

23M. About to move to a new city where I basically know no one. Already did that at 21 so feel reasonably comfortable navigating the post college world.

But I’ve been doing some thinking. Back in college, I was in three different friend groups at various times that were coed. The most recent one has led to two different couples forming who have been in long term relationships for a while.

That’s led to me wondering if a similar dynamic can be built after college, or whether it’s totally different now that a lot fewer people are single, plus most everyone’s busier now compared to then.

In my current city I’ve put myself in a spot where I’ve got a good job, good social life, hobbies, free time, still in pretty good shape, but no dating life. I don’t want to repeat that again, and figure if I can start a coed friend group it’ll be a good way to help my chances out, and I’ll enjoy the process of building that more than I would hitting on random women at a bar or going to social events just to look for women.

Any thoughts??

23M, moving here in 2 weeks (just west of Uptown). Working in Eden Prairie.

Wondering what I should check out and do in my first few months here!

I’ll be coming from Indianapolis, won’t know anyone (except for a coworker also making the move that I’ve spoken to a couple times).

Interesting in meeting new people, making friends and building a social circle, and going on dates.

Main hobbies are pickleball, cycling+running (casual), bowling, poker, golf (also casual). Open to trying new things in order be social. Also a vegan, so planning to check out any vegan meetup groups.

Any advice for me in terms of what to check out once I move? I’m thinking pickleball and group bike rides will be easy ways to meet people quickly. Also have a Timeleft subscription I’ll plan to use, but not sure how that scene is currently.

Thanks!

Moving here in 2 weeks, probably a 3.5-3.75ish player.

How’s the pickleball scene here? Interested in outdoor options for the summer, will be working a standard 9-5 in Eden Prairie, living near Uptown, so anything around there would be great for open play.

Bonus points for a spot that pulls a younger crowd.

Edit— specifically wanting outdoor play recommendations for the summer, unless it’s just not much of a thing here. Plan is to talk to people once I’m living there to figure out the indoor scene.

TIA!

Open play, friendly atmosphere, so wondering if I need to do a better job sucking it up and not being a vibe killer, or whether I’m fine to do as I please.

Playing a game with a guy I’d never played with before.

I miss an easy put away at the net, sending it out. He goes “hey, that’s the hardest shot in pickleball”.

A bit later, I creep up too early for a third shot, the return from them was deep, so I miss the shot badly. He goes “ohhhh, they caught you creeping up!”. No response from me. Am I killing the vibe by not lightening up more and being more engaging? Or is it totally fine. While I’m playing to have fun I can’t say I enjoy commentary on a shot I’ve just missed, especially coming from a stranger. But open to sucking it up and going along with it if I’m in the minority here.

In my mind it’s like playing golf with a random and having them talk about how I just hit a tee shot in the water after I hit a tee shot in the water— I’d be taken aback and not really interesting in having a conversation about my missed shot. But again possible I just have a stick up my ass, curious what Reddit will think.

ASA, starting a new job at the beginning of next month at 2 YOE. Have 3 exams remaining.

How quickly after I start is it reasonable to talk about getting study materials and planning study time?

This would be for a November sitting.

I’m thinking week 2 to get the study materials (and not take study hours right away). Just don’t want to come off as someone that only cares about the exams instead of learning the new job and adjusting.

Ofc it’s possible I’ll have a manager that brings it up sooner.

Looking to buy a 2021 Premium. Dealership has one with 101K miles for $18.5K. The battery recall isn’t open according to Ford’s website.

Fleet car, then same owner from 22K miles until 101K, according to CARFAX it was sold for a lease and returned 4 days later.

Used place has 4.4 on google and 1.9 on Yelp, offering a vehicle protection plan for 3 years for $3600.

Is this worth the risk? What could go wrong? I’m fine as long as the battery doesn’t go out or I get hit with massive repair costs, been told the range is at 110 miles at 41% currently.

Any thoughts? Again if nothing major happens I’m fine, but want to know what I’d be getting into.

Any cheap/free open play on a Tuesday evening in/near downtown? Probably a long shot but figured I’d ask. Will be staying downtown for a conference and have tonight free.