u/arcade-carpet

hey yall, i'd recommend reading my previous post on here before this one, just because there's a lot of information which i just don't have the energy to retype again. https://www.reddit.com/r/cisparenttranskid/s/KsMlRzubXA

me and my family have moved houses, and i'm supposed to be happy. i am, and i want this to be the next new chapter of my life. but i can't be at peace knowing that my mum still doesn't believe that i'm trans. i just can't handle it anymore. i want to start this new life on a high note but i also dont want to start it whilst im still living as this shell of a person. i want to regain my spark back, but how can i do that when my own mother refuses to believe that i really am trans? i've been out for 5 years. is there any way i can 'win her over'? we've already had quite a rocky relationship, but, she's been through a lot, and i still love and care about her, which is why i can't just cut her off like i did with my dad.

hey everyone!! i'm moving houses and i'm a big fan of any kind of art made by a human being. im making this post because i'd love to receive people's art, which could be already existing, or something you made just for this post! please include a watermark or some indicator that the art belongs to you, just so that i can identify who the artist is when showing people my room. the preferred format would be 4 inches by 6 inches (doesnt matter if its portrait or landscape), but im not picky at all!
thank you so much :D

hey yall, i know this question probably gets asked on the daily, but i just cant find any proper at home workouts that would help me build not only my shoulders and biceps, but also my lets and glutes. i want to try and achieve a smaller glute area, more refined thighs made purely of muscle, and a defined collarbone aswell as defined and strengthened arms, especially biceps and shoulders. i also want to gain a six pack but i'm getting ahead of myself. i'm a beginner. i know this sounds stupid and i've got a ton of goals and ambitions, but i can't bring myself to workout unless i know 100% that it will lead me to my desired end goal. i'm 17 in a month, pre t, 5'2, and 70kg. if anyone on here would be willing to create an at home workout for me to do 3-5 times a week, i'd be forever grateful. i know it's a lot to ask, but i'm kind of lost on what to do and how to achieve what i want to achieve. thank you!

hey everyone. i think some of you might recognise me at this point. i've made a couple posts on here before, and god has it been a rollercoaster throughout the years. i made a post around this time last year, coming out to my mum. i'll link it below.

https://www.reddit.com/r/cisparenttranskid/s/jojqSMSFHZ

her response was... supportive?:

aww baby i will be always by your side no matter what. You are my baby
don’t worry about anything. I will always stand by your side and support you
and I mean it
Listen, this must be so difficult for you anyway. But I will be always with you and stand by your side. I al your mum and will always love you. I am proud of you
Don’t worry about anything. I love you just the way you are

but things just went downhill (yet again) after that.
i asked for some boxers for christmas and her response was 'you're going too far. you're pushing it.', yet she was happy to get me lynx deodorant (which i know isn't 'boy exclusive' but she kind of guessed why i wanted it, and i did tell her that i would love to have the 'teenage boy' experience of receiving it for christmas).

i've blocked a lot of things out, and the majority of stuff consists of comments here and there.
on the car journey to the airport (i went to new york with my art class, yay!!), she kept reiterating that i'm a woman, and this whole conversation stemmed from the fact that my binder was showing under my vest top and it looked ugly, so i either couldn't wear my binder, or i had to wear a t shirt. she also stated that she has the power to ban me from wearing binders. i'm turning 17 in a month.

she explained to me that she didnt feel like a girl at my age, and that she was 'more of a tomboy' than i supposedly am, and i tried explaining to her that it's not a case of being masculine or feminine, and that i actually lean more towards the feminine side, but i feel like a guy. she just kept reiterating how i am a woman, and tried to hide that comment behind biology and how that's the biological fact.

she doesn't go past they/them pronouns, and i'm going to be really harsh and apathetic and say that it's been over 5 years and i just cant keep putting myself in her shoes. after new york, i was quite jetlagged, and made the joke that i should be allowed to stay home because it's pride month, and my mum made a joke about pride and celebrating something that's a choice, and this was at like 6:30 in the morning so i literally just didnt attempt to even go against it.

i feel like i've lost my spark. i'm a bit too self aware so this might sound slightly weird, but i feel like i was incredibly empathetic, patient, and understanding during this whole journey. i KNOW she's grieving, and i understand that. but i've been through so much crap, and having attempted to take my own life over 40 times, i'm surprised my mum hasn't considered that maybe me being transgender has contributed to that?

i've told her countless times how much it affects my mental health, and i'm only just recovering from a massive mental health spiral that lasted over three years. i'm two years clean from everything, and i'm getting better. but the more i'm healing from the past, the more certain i feel within my identity. i explained everything surrounding this in another post, and i spoke about how i understand that mental health and body dysmorphia can change someone's perception of themselves and can be misinterpreted as gender dysphoria, and ive accounted for every reason why my mum might feel hesitant to accept me.

i. am. TIRED. i can't keep being the mature one in this situation. i just can't handle things going on like this. (by the way, no, i'm not at risk of harm to myself or others, i'm not in any sort of crisis, i'm just fucking tired.) i just can't see her trying. i've been so appreciative of her using they/them pronouns for me, but she also reiterated a couple times how thankful i should be that she's trying.

i know this post is messy and tiring and heavy, but honestly i just need support and advice. yall have been the light at the end of the tunnel for me, and i just want to regain the sunshine i've lost. i can't do much anymore. i'm always in bed, sleeping. i'm behind on schoolwork. i'm on antidepressant medication but they don't help anymore as it's supposed to be something that helps you, not heals you. and if my mindset isn't the right one, or i'm not putting in the effort, it doesn't do shit. and that's what's happened.

i'm on the waiting list for a gender clinic, and i'm trying to save up to get top surgery in turkey. apparently, top surgery is a form of self harm. also, just an addition to this post, does anyone else's parent keep telling them that you're 'so beautiful, but you're just making yourself ugly'. is that an original experience or...?

anyways, rant over. i'm going to go grab some food and eat away my sorrows, and i'll be checking back to see if anyone has any advice for me!!

thanks everyone, you guys are the best <3 :)

if you want to hear a bit about my relationship with my identity, here's a post i made a while back:
https://www.reddit.com/r/cisparenttranskid/s/FlasIs0Bx9

hey yall, i know this sounds kinda stupid, but i havent been able to find any tutorials, answers, or examples of people actually making something like this before. hopefully my description is decent enough for someone to understand what i'm trying to do, but basically i'd like to build a glitter bomb which consists of an egg timer, twisting it to my desired 'countdown' time, and once the timer reaches the 'zero' mark, it pops open, potentially with a spring in it, and a compartment where i can put glitter or coloured powder in it. i'd love to make something like this which can be reusable and used multiple times. i dont know if this is the best sub to ask this question, but any form of help would be greatly appreciated!

hey yall, i know this sounds kinda stupid, but i havent been able to find any tutorials, answers, or examples of people actually making something like this before. hopefully my description is decent enough for someone to understand what i'm trying to do, but basically i'd like to build a glitter bomb which consists of an egg timer, twisting it to my desired 'countdown' time, and once the timer reaches the 'zero' mark, it pops open, potentially with a spring in it, and a compartment where i can put glitter or coloured powder in it. i'd love to make something like this which can be reusable and used multiple times. i dont know if this is the best sub to ask this question, but any form of help would be greatly appreciated!

hey yall, i know this sounds kinda stupid, but i havent been able to find any tutorials, answers, or examples of people actually making something like this before. hopefully my description is decent enough for someone to understand what i'm trying to do, but basically i'd like to build a glitter bomb which consists of an egg timer, twisting it to my desired 'countdown' time, and once the timer reaches the 'zero' mark, it pops open, potentially with a spring in it, and a compartment where i can put glitter or coloured powder in it. i'd love to make something like this which can be reusable and used multiple times. i dont know if this is the best sub to ask this question, but any form of help would be greatly appreciated!

just a quick question as i'm doing some research on it but i cant seem to grasp what it actually means.

PLEASE HELP, IM GENUINELY SO FED UP WITH MY AMS AT THIS POINT AND I LITERALLY GOT IT LIKE THREE DAYS AGO 😭😭

hey yall, just newly getting into 3d modelling. i just wanted to ask everyone which one was worth putting my time into? i know it varies from person to person but i just want to hear everyone's opinions on the two!

i swear to god as an autistic trans dude i HATE periods. although im on the combined birth control pill, i do still get a period once ever three months or so, so they arent completely out of my life just yet. i tried a tampon for the first time today (as i was never really allowed to wear one due to my mum being a doctor and her worrying about tss) and ffs this is absolutely wonderful???!! you dont feel it, and most importantly, you dont feel the blood gushing out of down there every time you stand up. life changing shit oh my god