u/astoldbysomxx

I was just joking around with my uncle the other day and he reminded me of this when I brought up this show.

I was born to teen parents. That means I have uncles and aunts who are pretty close in age to myself. My youngest uncle is only 5 years older than me.

My dad has 8 brothers and sisters. We lived in a small town.

My uncle, Tom started to date this girl named Sarah in high school. I always thought she was so cool. She had a pixie haircut and was super athletic and smart. She played basketball and also loved makeup. Sarah and Tom broke up after 2 years. 3 years later, she started to date my other uncle, Will. Yup. She dated both my uncles. Hey! The pickings are slim in a small town. Ended up marrying my uncle Will and they have 4 kids together.

Anyway, Belly’s messy love story isn’t just pure fiction lol. Happens in real life sometimes too.

Just want to add a TW for SA, race and deception.

This is mostly getting things off my chest.

My adoption is different than a lot of you on here so I thank you if you even read this. I was adopted as an adult by my stepdad. But I also found out later in life that he wasn’t my biological dad. I do call him dad and I adore him. I’ve never questioned his love for me. And I am thankful for him. I really and truly am. He’s my rock.

But I’m beginning to understand some of the trauma I’m having around this.

I was 10 when I found out he wasn’t my biological father. I had an inclination because I found my birth certificate that only lists my mom, my last name was my moms maiden name, my dad doesn’t show up in my baby pictures until I’m almost a year old, my baptism papers have a father’s name written but it was erased with white out. I held that paper up for hours against the light, trying to see the name but never could. The birth certificate and last name I could rationalize away. My parents had me in high school. But I couldn’t get that baptism certificate out of my head.

One day, my mom and dad sat me down and told me that I was not biologically my dads. I was 10. My mom had gotten pregnant at 16 by a much older man who was lying about his age. He was in and out of jail. So, my mom has trauma around that. When I became pregnant a year and half ago, we started going to therapy because she said she was finally coming to terms with how wrong my biological father was for taking advantage of her when she was a child and he was almost 30. For that I’m grateful.

There have been times I have gone back and forth on whether or not they should have told me from the beginning. If it was not made to be a big deal it would’ve hurt less. They said that they waited to tell me until I had the sex ed talk at school. So sometimes I do rationalize this. My dad came into my life when I was 3 months old. He was 15. My mom was 16. They got married at 20 and 21. I guess when I was a little girl, I did know he wasn’t my dad because I told my dad’s mom that my parents were getting married and “Tom is going to be my dad now!” I don’t remember that. I just always thought he was my dad.

I’m now 32. Another factor is that my parents have 2 sons together. I love my brothers. But they are 21 and 17 so I’m much older. They don’t know Tom isn’t my biological dad. I’ve told my mom she NEEDS to tell them. My dad won’t talk about it. I tried to talk to him about it once but he said “you’re my child and that all that matters.” The thing is, now my brothers are basically adults. And they don’t know this major thing. Something that should’ve just been told to them when they were little. They live in a small town. People know. Other people besides my brothers know. Or maybe they do know. It wouldn’t be hard for someone to say something to either of them about it.

Another things I’m coming to terms with is that I don’t look like my brothers. I look like my mom but darker features. Tan skin, darker eyes and hair. My biological father’s family is from Mexico. I have Native American ancestry as well. I feel robbed of getting to experience this part of my culture. It was hurtful when I lived in California and became friends with other Mexican people who showed me their culture. People in my life have said hateful things about Hispanic people in front of me, not realizing I am Hispanic because I have white parents.

Finally, the kicker was that the moment I turned 18, my biological father reached out to me. My mom never asked him for child support and I’m thinking he realized he was finally off the hook lol. I never messaged him back. Until about 6 months ago. I felt the urge to show him a picture of my son. So I did. We chatted briefly and then he sent me a picture of his family, the one he had when he finally got his life together. It hurt. I don’t even know why. He told me about 3 siblings I have, all older than me and about his 2 children he has with his wife.

My mom is just amazing. I am so thankful for her every single day.

I’m turning 32 soon and had a beautiful baby boy 15 months ago, the last 2 years of being pregnant, giving birth and raising a child have been so challenging, exhausting and amazing. I’ve always loved and appreciated my mom but I’m beginning to truly understand the sacrifices she made so I can be the woman I am.

My mom got pregnant with me at 16 by my bio father who lied about his age. He was pushing 30, she thought he was in his early 20s (I’ve seen pictures and he had a baby face.) When I was pregnant, her and I had a heart to heart and she told me she was finally coming to terms with how disgusting my bio father is. She was a CHILD and he was an adult. He took advantage of her.

My bio father held me once in the hospital and that was his extent of being a dad to me. He never paid child support, offered to help, nothing. He tried to contact me when I turned 18 (lol finally off the hook for child support or any legal obligation to me.) I decided I wanted nothing to do with him and told him as much. I asked for some health background, if I had siblings, and some ancestry questions. I’m half Native American/native Mexican and that made a lot of sense to me because I look just like my mom but with darker features!

Back to my mom. She was able to finish high school, thanks to my lovely grandparents (miss you so much grandma) and the help of my “step” dad and his family who she started dating when I was 3 months old and he was only 15. I could do a whole post gushing about him but just know he’s an amazing dad. I legally changed my last name to his when I turned 18, he’s never treated me different from his biological children, he helped my husband and I with a down payment on our house, cried when I told him he was going to be a grandpa, cried more when he saw we used his first name as our sons middle name and hell, we’ve even been told we look alike lol! Both my mom and dad were able to get college degrees! My dad got an ag business degree and my mom has a masters in nursing.

Through high school and college, my mom worked so many jobs! My favorite job during this time was her bartending job. This was the late 90s and early 00s but she’d take me to work and the bar owners son and I would play in the owners office, nap and watch movies while my mom worked.

We were pretty poor for most of my childhood. But I didn’t notice, I’ve never been one for “stuff” so I didn’t care about getting what was in fashion. My parents always made sure I got what I wanted for Christmas or my birthday. My parents went on to have 2 sons when I was a teenager and my brothers are some of the best things that ever happened to me. My parents always paid me for babysitting and never treated me like free labor.

A few years ago my parents started their own business and it’s been super successful. And I can’t imagine 2 better people for it to happen to. They so deserve it after giving up their childhoods to raise me. They are able to spoil me, my brothers, my husband, their grandson and themselves. They built a beautiful forever home for themselves.

When my mom came to the hospital after I gave birth last year, the first thing she did when she saw me was burst into tears and hug me. She didn’t go straight for her 1st grandchild, she went to me, her baby and only daughter and told me how much she loved me and was proud of me. She wanted to make sure I was okay. And then of course she got to snuggle her grandson!

My parents house is set up so that we don’t have to bring anything for our son. Diapers, wipes, his favorite foods, toys, clothes, a crib, books, bottles and cups, dishes, a stroller, a car seat, you name it - my mom got it and they have it at our house. I barely need to pack anything for our son when we come. Her love for her grandson makes me so happy. She doesn’t even pout when my son prefers my dad right now because he’s in his dad and grandpa phase only right now lol.

She has an amazing ability to remember things about her children. She knows my husband and Is favorite drinks and snacks. She always brings some when she visits along with groceries and household items she notices we are low on from her last visit. Who is the woman and how is she so amazing??

My grandma, her mom, died 2 weeks ago. It’s been so hard on me because my grandma was my person. It’s been so hard to see my mom grieve her own mom. But we’ve been there every single day for each other.

My parent’s sacrifice for me has allowed me to be the woman I am today. Thank you mom. You are everything to me.

I’ve already asked a question in the subreddit this week but I’m struggling.

Do you still think about and miss your grandparents? Even after years have gone since they have died? My grandma died almost 2 weeks ago and the pain of losing her is so fresh. I adored her. And I just miss her. I don’t ever want to forget her.

Edit. Thank you for all the kind responses. My grandma was 80 and had a rare lung disease that she lived with for many years. I just honestly thought she’d live into her 90s. My grandpa, her husband, still has his mother alive. I don’t know. My grandma was my person. Grandmas aren’t supposed to have favorites but it wasn’t a secret I was my grandmas favorite. We talked every single day. I’ve started writing down everything I know about her and my grandpa let me take several of her sweaters that remind me of her.

Ladies. My life is just chaos right now. I have a 15 month old and I work full time. My house is a mess, my work life is a mess, my relationship with my husband is a mess, I have to figure out my student loans and how to pay off some credit card debt.

And when I mean the house is a mess, it’s dirty, not messy. Like actually dirty. I don’t want my son to grow up in a dirty house! My grandma died a little over a week ago and I swear if something bad happens, I just can’t handle the other aspects of my life.

I already struggled managing work, being a mom, a wife, managing a home, having a social life and hobbies…. Then add grief?! Now what?!

I feel like I’m drowning. I hate coming home to a dirty house. I’m exhausted when I get home. And the. Have to care for my son. My husband works 2 jobs and god I love him but he is sometimes useless.

Like where do I even start, how do I start?!

I saw someone on TikTok talk about this recently and realized I also have the same complaint. People can’t use common sense anymore. Not everything needs a tutorial. (I’ll link the TikTok if I can find it.)

Some girl was showing off her handmade beaded necklaces and showing where she got the supplies. Super cute. Half the comments were “too cute need a tutorial!” Please just use your brain for half a second. It’s beads on string. (Also not dissing jewelry artists at all but these were just simple beaded necklaces)

OR a woman was showing off how she got her MIL a cute framed art piece with all her MILs family writing “I love you.” And all the comments were “OMG how’d you do that??” … how do you have people write I love you on some nice paper and frame it?!??

My beautiful grandma died a week ago at the age of 80. My mom is 49. She had a rare genetic lung disease affected her lungs and liver. Her dad died when he was young but her mom lived to 99. So even though she had been sick for a long time, I always thought she’d lived in to her 90s. My grandma had been so sick the last 5 years but especially the last 2 after a stroke. Her quality of life was non existent, she couldn’t do anything she liked doing and she barely left the house. We used to text daily but after her stroke it was harder for her. She went the hospital 2 weeks ago and my mom thought that was the end but she got better, went home and then 2 days later my grandpa woke up to her unresponsive.

My mom was a teenager when she had me so we lived with my grandparents when I was little. I adored my grandma and my grief is horrible right now. I just want my grandma.

But I’m also struggling to help my mom. I want to be there for her, she just lost her own mom. My mom has extreme guilt over not spending enough time with my grandma the last year. I just don’t know the right things to say because I feel guilty too. I just miss her so terribly.

I’m married to a practicing Hindu man. We’ve been together nearly a decade. We sometimes debate about religion but we both try to respect each other’s beliefs. I find it hard sometimes because he is Indian (originally from India, been in the states for like 13 years) and Hinduism is so intertwined with Indian culture, it’s basically inseparable. Example: a lot of music has Hindu undertones, many of their national holidays are Hindu based, greetings (like namaste) come from Hinduism (though most people will just say hi or bye now.) We had a secular wedding in the states and a Hindu wedding in India a month later.

After our son was born, we did some religious rituals for him. My astrology isn’t correctly placed so I had to be prayed over before our Hindu wedding. Like damn, why is this so complicated? But I love him so it’s whatever.

It’s hard to rationalize that one of the most interesting and intelligent men I know, believes in religion. Even one as old and as interesting as Hinduism.

But he’s basically all the accepted that I believe when we die nothing happens and that’s it. He always jokes that he’ll see me in our next life and let me know I was wrong. 😑 which is cute, I guess.

I’m 31. My grandma died a week ago. She was 80 and had a rare lung disease that caused COPD and liver damage. She has been so sick for the last 5 years and 2 years ago she had a stroke. I know grief is not a competition but I feel stupid being so upset over an 80 year old woman when people have lost their parents or children or siblings.

I was so lucky that I met most of my great-grandparents. I still have a great-grandma alive and my last great-grandpa died last year. So I just always assumed she’d live until her 90s or even 100 like her parents and in laws.

I’ve lost 2 classmates (went to a very small school), a dear friend, a cousin and a family friends daughter. But fuck the death of my 80 year old grandma feels like it’s going to kill me. I don’t know why.

We texted daily. She could barely leave the house the last 3 years so she was bored. I basically texted her every little thing I did. Even when she had a hard time replying after her stroke. I had teen parents so I lived with her and my grandpa until my parents got married. She taught me the hobbies I love. Gardening, cross-stitch, cards and canning.

I miss her and I want her back. I want her to be healthy again and I want her back. I’m having a hard time caring for my 14 month old. My husband is being supportive and helpful but I just can’t cope.

First time mom to a 14 month old boy. He’s been in daycare since he was 4 months old. We really like his daycare.

He recently transitioned to the oldest infant room (1 year to 20ish months) and it’s been rough. He’s struggled with changes in nap and meals but it’s gotten much better.

I know biting is super normal at this age. But he’s gotten bit 6 times in the last 2 weeks. They moved up the kid who bit him the 1st 3 times but now he’s gotten bit by 2 other kids. We also noticed a bite mark on his back that wasn’t reported, so we assumed teachers didn’t see, which I know happens sometimes. We just let the director know and showed her the mark. Making the total 7 in 2 weeks. Seems like a lot but I have no reference. Makes me sad thinking about my sweet guy getting bit.

Edit: just from the few comments I’ve received, I’ll be going to the director on Monday (we are off the next several days) to chat with her about how they plan to keep my little guy safe.

I’m 31F. My brothers (17M and 21M) and I were talking the other day and joking that our mom passed down mental illness to us lol.

My mom (49F) and I were both diagnosed with ADHD in the last year. I’ve suspected that I’ve had ADHD for several years and suspected my mom did way before that.

My 17 year old brother got diagnosed 3 years ago and my 21 year old brother got diagnosed 2 years ago.

Just curious about other women, if they also have family members with ADHD.

All 3 of my siblings and I also have anxiety and depression diagnosis as well. I know that it doesn’t matter but we had a very loving and stable childhood and my brothers (I had teen parents so less so me) have always had financial stability. Just interesting how the mind works!

I’m at a loss. Until about 1 our son was so sweet, calm, rarely cried and if he did he was easily comforted or I could figure out what was wrong.

He’s going through some changes at daycare. He’s in the 1 year old room and doesn’t do day time bottles any more (we still give me a bottle before bed.) He only takes 1 nap at daycare when he really still needs 2. He’s getting morals and has ear infections constantly but since getting tubes they are easily managed.

I swear a switch flipped. He’s so cranky when he’s awake. He can’t walk yet, though he tries super hard, he wants to climb on everything. That’s fine but I am losing my patience at his constant screaming, crying and hitting. He’s just a grump when he’s awake. He can maybe be happy for about 60 minutes total in a day. Which wasn’t the case even 6 weeks ago.

He wants dad. My husband takes him. Then he wants me. I take him. Then he wants back to dad. If I leave the room? Meltdown. Dad isn’t in sight? Meltdown. Not getting his food quick enough? Meltdown.

I know it’s hard because he can’t communicate what he wants and needs yet with language. I’m not even sure what I’m looking for. Some reassurance maybe? To know other parents have dealt with this?

He just sucks. Like truly. The amount of resentment I feel towards him is insane. We’ve been together 8 years. Married 3. We have a 13 month old. I’m 31, he’s 34.

Our son is getting molars, going through daycare transitions and battling another ear infection. He wanted his dad. He loves his dad. It’s very sweet. He didn’t want to go with me so I suggested “why don’t you put him to bed.” He looked at our son and playful said “no that’s mommies job, mommy does it every night.”

I lost it. I told him “yeah mommy does it every night because daddy won’t. Mommy also gets you up every morning. Feeds you every meal. Makes your milk (I still pump but am weaning). And has given you every bath you’ve ever taken in your life! Isn’t that great.”

My husband got angry. Which is a defense mechanism I’ve learned he does when I call him out on his BS. Like he just resorts to being angry when I confront him about this. He can never have a conversation about how to fix it. I can’t even stand to look at him.

I feel stuck. We own a home together. I make 3x less what he does.

My baby brother is starting pitcher on his varsity baseball team tonight, I was so excited to watch his game on the couch with a pop and eat supper once my son went down. Now I don’t even want to be near my husband. So staying in our room and far away from him.

Today is Mother’s Day. Our son is 1 years old. My husband plays cricket every single weekend during the summer. During the first 6 weekends he plays 5 hour games every Saturday and Sunday. Yup. Every single weekend. And then it turns into 10 hour games just 1 weekend day for the rest of the summer. I really don’t mind that much because I get a lot of time with our son and he’s such a chill kid. He’s generally very happy and still naps 2 times a days.

So yesterday and today he is out of the house for at least 6/7 hours. Driving and playing time.

I told him, when you get home I want to leave the house, without the baby.He says “yeah babe whatever you want.” He got me gardening stuff and cute shirt for our son. It was nice.

But now when it’s actually time for me to leave he’s exhausted and just pouting. Mostly because I told him he has to give our son a bath and put him to sleep at 7:30. (OH, by the way, anyone wanna guess how many baths my husband has given our 1 year old in his life? 1 other time. YUP!)

I left anyway because I deserve me time. But I can’t help but shake the feeling that his pouting is manipulative. Because I do feel bad leaving. But I shouldn’t. And I feel bad because obviously I put up with this. I complain and keep putting up with it. But GAH. He just sucks.