u/ayushconda

Yeah, preferably not in China, though.🫡

All this loneliness, emptiness and what not.. It's eating me up from top to bottom and idk what to do...

I do have a job, I do meet people everyday but that still doesn't change the fact that all I'm is just an empty shell..

Crying suddenly for reasons I couldn't even figure out. I broke out today as well.. The feeling of burden.. I'm not able to hold it anymore.

All I ever wanted was to be loved, cared for and nothing else. I don't want any money man. I wanted people in my life... So many people I know have someone for them, who care about them, love them. Everyone's got someone but not me..
I'm still crying while writing all this and I still don't know why? Do I not deserve any love..... Am I really destined to be all alone and have no one by my side. Why did god make me the way I am..

I'm sorry for all these words. But I don't know where to put this at. Other places, I'd be made fun of.... maybe it won't be like that here..

But I guess fishing is not for him anymore.. and for me as well

Yet, he still ends up being attached and heartbroken in the end, not learning from his mistakes... He's so me....

All this loneliness. No one at my side or in my corner.. no one to talk to. Getting neglected by each n everyone... No friends, nothing.

Yeah, maybe I do. All this nothingness..

Or The Fort Harbour B*tcher??

Maybe, I'm the problem. Maybe, I'm the reason why there's no one with me. Maybe, I'm the reason why everyone leaves me. You know, last night was my birthday and no one, not a single soul knew about it. No one was there to wish me...

In all these 23 years of span of time, I haven't made one good friend who has stayed with me through thick and thin..

Maybe, I'm the reason everyone leaves me...

And it'll be like this for the rest of my life..

No 12 A.M wishes, no late night calls, no texts. ZERO, ZIP, NADAA... The first wish of the day was from CASIO!!

The whole day was like that.. only mummy wished me and brought me a cake just a few mins. back...

But apart from that, yeah, I did expect this to happen..

BIRTHDAYS were supposed to be happy, but instead they're more Depressing than the normal ones...

No one remembered. Not even the people I interact with everyday. Not even the ones whom I always wish on their birthdays... Ofcourse, my foolishness to expect from people.

Lately, these last few years have been more lonely and lonely with the amount of people leaving from my life but I've started to make peace with it.

You usually won't see me venting here.. but I've got nowhere else to tell these things either..

With a heavy heart, I'd say ki kaash mere pass bhi log hote jo mera birthday celebrate karte, mere saath enjoy karte...

I didn't ask for any gifts, neither from god. But if I were to make a wish to him, I'd only ask that next life, please don't take away everyone out of my life and leave a few ones along my side :).

TO ONE MORE YEAR CLOSER TO DEATH..!