













Got a free Blåhaj from a neighbor. Felt a bit guilty running him through the wash with this face.
Moved into a new space recently (5th floor in an apartment complex near Washington DC), and I am having a roach problem in the kitchen. I didn’t see any when touring the apartment at first, but after moving in, noticed several of different sizes. My last unit had roaches, but never this many. Attached is a picture of one of the bugs, for context. I’ve seen upwards of 3 large roaches at a time and maybe a dozen small ones. They are on the countertops and occasionally the floor.
The first week, my partner and I placed Raid brand gel baits around the kitchen. We have avoided unpacking the kitchen so there is no human food for them to eat off of. We have been eating out for basically every meal and any organic matter in the apartment is being thrown out immediately. The kitchen has doors and they remain closed.
2 weeks ago, pest control came and did some kind of treatment when I wasn’t home “with my cat in mind.” This included at least one glue trap, but I’m not sure what else. This past Monday, they came again and requested the cat and humans stay out for 4 hours. They described this as an “integrated pest management program”.
Next Friday, management will be replacing our appliances in the case that they are nesting inside of our appliances.
We were told it would take 2 weeks to see full effects of the treatment, but I’m incredibly nervous this issue never gets resolved. I’ve read just about every article and so many threads on here about treatment, and I want to believe it will work, but I’m not feeling confident. I’ve also not been home to discuss the treatment plan with the pest control, my partner has been fielding the communications. Can someone who is an expert give me their perspective?
as title suggests, I woke up to what I can only describe as mild facial paralysis near a pimple in the danger zone. i probably picked at it like you’re not supposed to.
my upper lip muscle near the side of the pimple is not engaging like it normally does. pics in the black dress are my normal muscle range. i assume this is infected. it was sore-ish yesterday but doesn’t hurt today. i will seek medical care (i already booked a derm visit for Thursday, but clearly this is cause for more urgent intervention.) I’m in a different city than my hometown for a conference, so my questions are:
-is this an urgent care or ER visit?
-could this wait until tomorrow
-what is the likelihood of this being permanent
A new Netflix series, allegedly “Trinity” which is about a naval officer and some conspiracy, was filming at Union Station tonight.
Walked into the Main Hall tonight (8:45p) to a bunch of people in business attire loitering and walking randomly around the hall with seemingly no goal in sight. Finally accepted I wasn’t in the twilight zone when I heard someone give directions involving a panning camera to someone I passed by.
My new building doesn’t use Bilt as its payment platform, and I’m not interested in getting the card right now. I currently have 4,037 points on my account and have already paid my last month of rent.
What would you do with such a small amount on your account?
My cat has historically been a very easy adapter to new environments. He warmed up to me/my apartment within hours of him arriving. He accepted our next apartment as his own instantly.
However, I accidentally booked travel for a work thing the evening of the same day we move into a new space. I’ll be with him from the beginning of the day until around dinner time, but I’ll have to leave after that and he’ll be alone for the next 2 nights, with intermittent visitors. He doesn’t normally sleep in my arms or even necessarily next to me, but is usually in the same room as me when we sleep.
My question: would he be sad/overwhelmed if I left him alone those nights?
Plan A: Leave all of his things in my bedroom with a bunch of stuff that smells like me so it barely seems like I’m gone. The next day, have someone he knows check in on him. The day after, his stepdad moves in and so he’ll be home with someone he knows and loves.
Plan B: Bring him into a largely empty apartment two days before my trip and sleep on an air mattress. Bring his essentials over with me and allow him to get used to the space with no furniture but at least me with him.
Plan C: Have someone he knows but doesn’t love nearly as much as me or stepdad spend the night with him the first and second night until stepdad arrives.
PICTURE DESCRIPTION: Green is how my temperature-controlling knobs have always turned. Red is how they are turning now. Blue is how the faucet/showerhead knob turns.
I want to preface by saying I don’t think I’m crazy or forgetful and don’t think I need to check my carbon monoxide. I have lived in my apartment for over a year and take regular showers, including with my eyes closed to decompress. I know the muscle memory of my shower. I took a shower Friday afternoon, everything as normal.
Friday evening, my boyfriend took a shower. Afterwards he remarked, “your shower is really confusing”. I was instantly like, what? It’s a shower. It’s really easy. The left is hot and the right is cold. The middle is the faucet or showerhead. He said, “the right is hot”. That’s definitively not true, because I almost exclusively use the left knob and only use a bit of the right knob to cool down the water when washing my face.
The next day, I go to take a shower, and my knobs are rotating backwards.
Every single time I’ve taken a shower, the hot has rotated clockwise from 6:00 to 12:00, with 12:00 usually being the hottest. The cold has rotated counter clockwise from 6:00 to 12:00. This makes sense, because the faucet/showerhead knob rotates between 6:00 for faucet counterclockwise to 2:00 for showerhead, and the knobs don’t risk bumping into each other.
Now, the hot is rotating counterclockwise from 6:00 to almost back around to 6:00 for its hottest setting. Cold is now rotating counterclockwise from 6:00, again, all the way around to 6:00.
What could have happened for my knobs to suddenly start rotating in a different direction? I’ve asked my boyfriend and all he’s said is “I think I rotated the right one on full rotation”. He has mentioned nothing about the knobs coming off.
Two years ago when I started living on my own, I got 100 custom matchbooks for under $30 on efavormart. They said “stolen from [my name]’s apartment” with a cute champagne icon, and have been a huge hit. I host regular parties and guests will take them. I’ll go to my friends apartments and see them littered around by their candles and it’s nice to know I’ve given them a piece of my home that is useful and gives them a fun reminder of the time we’ve had together.
Flash forward to now, I want to make updated favors for my partner and I’s combined home, and efavormart doesn’t seem to do matchbooks anymore. Most vendors are charging almost a full dollar per matchbook, so an order of 100 would run me at least a hundred dollars. I know inflation has gone up, but triple the price in 2 years is unexpected.
What are other evergreen and affordable favors besides matchbooks to keep in my home for guests? Something that can potentially carry between multiple addresses in case we move to a different apartment before we run out.
I genuinely didn’t know this was possible. A few years ago at a different organization, I was given a PIP after using short term disability and was offered a severance package to buy my departure without hassle. I assumed all PIPs, based on my own experience and that of others, was a formality and a coverup for firing someone.
This came up during my annual performance review and cited a few things: a mix of “yeah I could’ve done better” points and me getting thrown under the bus for things leaders above me did. Considering the things I’ve seen other people get away with, I think this was largely the result of disappointing the wrong people at the wrong times. I was given 30 days to fix up or I’d be hitting the road.
How I got through it:
-Was incredibly clear with my manager, who I was lucky did have my back, that I was committed to doing well if it could be overcome, and that if it was a formality, she should just tell me so I could put my energy into a job search. She told me this wasn’t a formality and that the result would in fact be up to me and how much effort I put in. I stressed to her that I’d be merging lives with my partner soon and signing a lease and did not want to do that if I didn’t stand a chance. She told me to have fun looking for apartments, but that she would only stand up for me if I did what I needed to.
-I documented EVERYTHING. CC’ed and BCC’ed my manager on so many things. Made a spreadsheet with every task/project I completed with the time completed, recipients, and links. Specified if my manager was CC’ed on it, and if she wasn’t, why (like if it was a Teams message, in person conversation she wasn’t part of, etc). Wrote down “Followed up with x person about y thing” “Followed up again with x person about y thing” to implicitly tell the story of stakeholders that needed constant reminders and were sometimes dropping the ball- including my own manager. This turned into a ~200 row spreadsheet that was fueled by a desire for malicious compliance and became a good tool for showing my leaders what I was doing. I’d bring it up in 1:1s and ask if they had feedback, which forced them to look at the proof I was not only doing what I needed to, but that I was being thorough about it.
-Met with my manager often (2 times a week usually) and asked for explicit feedback. Asked her to describe things I was doing well and anything I needed to improve on.
-Started working more closely with my project leaders on my tasks, making it clear I cared about their input and wanted to be doing right by them. Made sure every draft was signed off on before finishing. Let the micromanagers micromanage me.
-Took initiative on some things: coordinated sending a gift to someone at another organization that needed recognition, sent new resources around, improved processes on my teams and just handed them over like “here’s me demonstrating my value”.
-Did LinkedIn learning courses and sent a write up to my manager tying the courses I did to the improvement goals set forth in my PIP.
-Worked office politics a bit. Dressed a bit nicer. Left a bit later. Helped a colleague get moving boxes. Went out to lunch with people more. Complimented people’s outfits. Brought food into the office. Created good will for myself outside of my project performance.
-Asked colleagues to send in positive feedback about me. If a colleague said they liked something I did, I asked them to send a note over to my manager. I would also send that feedback over directly to my manager in case they forgot. “Hey manager, I just got this feedback from Stakeholder A. Just wanted to let you know!”. At least one of those pieces of feedback were cited back to me today in closing out the PIP.
Was I stressed the whole time? Yeah. Did I submit some applications elsewhere? Yeah. Am I still submitting applications elsewhere? Yeah, just in case there’s a place with a better position, better perks, whatever it might be. But I did get through it. And I wanted to share that while I think this is a rare win, it is helpful that there’s a win at all.
Happy to answer questions.
This kitchen is kind of a nightmare aesthetically for me with the all white and greige. What are renter-friendly ways to make this into a more beautiful kitchen? Please don’t just say “peel and stick vinyl” - what types of textures would look elevated and not cheap or tacky?
10:30 is snicky snack time. it is currently 10:18. he has been here since 10:00. big green orbs. one obvious goal.