u/bankstown_resident

Hey everyone! Looking for some advice or to hear from anyone who has been in a similar spot.

I’m a Singaporean girl currently studying in Sydney (I’ve been living here since I was 14). Recently, I started dating a Lebanese-Australian guy, and he’s been absolute lovely. However, bringing him up to people back home in Singapore has been a bit of a culture shock for me.

My family (mostly Chinese uncles and aunties) immediately made assumptions about his background, assuming he’s Muslim (he’s actually a Maronite Catholic) and being quite disapproving just because of his race, sometimes being impressed by the way he looks and stop smiling the moment I mentioned his heritage.

What surprised me even more was the reaction from many of my female friends back in Singapore. These are girls I grew up with who come from well-to-do backgrounds and many are studying overseas for universities now. When I showed them a picture of him, a couple of them said things like, "Omg he’s so handsome, are you sure he’s not Italian or European French? He doesn't look typical Arab." I know they probably didn't mean it maliciously, but it felt a bit backhanded and left a weird taste in my mouth.

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I grew up in Sydney with Chaldean Assyrian refugee mother and a Lebanese Maronite father and lived in Dubai and Hong Kong for a total of three years before finishing my remaining high school years back in Sydney.

When I was in Dubai and Hong Kong, I was enrolled in 'international schools' that prided themselves on creating 'global citizens' and fostering internationalism. But even in that environment, I constantly received comments like:

• "Oh, but you don't look Australian, you look more Spanish."
• "You're the first Middle Eastern Christian I have ever met" (yes, even in Dubai).
• "Huh, I never thought Christians existed in the Middle East."

Mind you, these were comments from people who had lived in 3–5 different countries growing up.

When I finished my school years in Sydney, where my classmates were children or grandchildren of immigrants from Asia, the Middle East, Southern and Eastern Europe, and the Pacific Islands, I had way fewer of those questions thrown at me. Because the school was so multicultural, there were plenty of Maronites, Copts, and Assyrians.

I grew up in Sydney and lived in Dubai and Hong Kong for a total of three years before finishing my remaining high school years back in Sydney.

When I was in Dubai and Hong Kong, I was enrolled in 'international schools' that prided themselves on creating 'global citizens' and fostering internationalism. But even in that environment, I constantly received comments like:

• "Oh, but you don't look Australian, you look more Spanish."
• "You're the first Middle Eastern Christian I have ever met" (yes, even in Dubai).
• "Huh, I never thought Christians existed in the Middle East."

Mind you, these were comments from people who had lived in 3–5 different countries growing up.

When I finished my school years in Sydney, where my classmates were children or grandchildren of immigrants from Asia, the Middle East, Southern and Eastern Europe, and the Pacific Islands, I had way fewer of those questions thrown at me. Because the school was so multicultural, there were plenty of Maronites, Copts, and Assyrians.

I grew up in Sydney and lived in Dubai and Hong Kong for a total of three years before finishing my remaining high school years back in Sydney.

When I was in Dubai and Hong Kong, I was enrolled in 'international schools' that prided themselves on creating 'global citizens' and fostering internationalism. But even in that environment, I constantly received comments like:

• "Oh, but you don't look Australian, you look more Spanish."
• "You're the first Middle Eastern Christian I have ever met" (yes, even in Dubai).
• "You're too good looking to be Middle Eastern".
• "Huh, I never thought Christians existed in the Middle East."

Mind you, these were comments from people who had lived in 3–5 different countries growing up.

When I finished my school years in Sydney, where my classmates were children or grandchildren of immigrants from Asia, the Middle East, Southern and Eastern Europe, and the Pacific Islands, I had way fewer of those questions thrown at me. Because the school was so multicultural, there were plenty of Maronites, Copts, and Assyrians.

I lived in Singapore for a year (originally from Western Sydney), and whenever I mention missing Sydney's food scene, a lot of Aussie expats seem surprised, and even many other nationalities and locals alike.

A few have argued that places like Singapore have far more variety and assumed the Sydney food scene is fairly generic/bland. When I bring up the amazing multicultural food hubs in Western Sydney, like Bankstown, Burwood, Lidcombe, or Fairfield, I often get blank stares or awkward silence, even from a few people who grew up in Sydney.

Of course I don't expect everyone to comprehend the rich cultural diversity Sydney has to offer, especially when you cross west of Redfern and Ashfield station. But I found it really tiring explaning to others anything that is past West of Sydney's CBD.

I’m in my youth and I’ve been noticing this a lot lately across Sydney, more specifically any suburb that goes pass west of Ashfield station. A whole bunch of people around my age, born and raised here, are speaking with really distinct Fat Pizza accents.

It’s not even restricted to specific ethnicities like Mediterranean or Middle Eastern anymore; I'm hearing it across different ethnicities and social classes all over the Inner West and Western Sydney. It's very common to come across a second generation Chinese, Korean, or Indian who went to Kings School or Trinity Grammar to sound like Spanian despite having upper middle class parents. It’s no big deal since we all understand each other fine, but I remember someone telling me that this wasn't the case 30 years ago.

Is anyone else noticing this shift, or is it just a coincidence with the groups I've bumped into recently?

In Australia, 2nd and 3rd gen Southern Europeans (mostly Italian and Greek) and Middle Eastern Chrisstian diasporas (Lebanese Maronites, Assyrian/Chaldeans) often form tight social circles, attend the same schools, and intermarry due to many similar values around family, food, and faith, etc.

I know the U.S. also has large populations of Assyrians, and Italians. Do these communities intermingle, form shared social networks the way it manifests in Australia too?

In Australia, 2nd and 3rd gen Mediterranean and Middle Eastern diasporas, Lebanese Maronites, Assyrian/Chaldean, Southern Italian, Greek, and South Slav, often form tight social circles, attend the same schools, and intermarry due to shared values around family, food, and faith.

I know the U.S. also has large populations of these groups, like Maronite Lebanese, Southern Italians, Greeks, and Chaldeans. Do these communities intermingle, form shared social networks, and find many cultural similarities in major U.S. metros (like Detroit, NY, or Chicago) in a similar way too?

I recently did an Info Session for a State Government grad role and my email was itchbay_*some Western Sydney postcode* on Teams fuck, thank God my username is my display name but fk I can't help but panic if the Hosts see my email. I mistakenly realised I used that email for Teams.