u/barleyliving00

I want to start off by saying i would really appreciate it if i don’t get any “u will change ur mind eventually” comments as im aware thats a possibility but thats not what im here for.

Im a young woman so there is no rush but i have always not been too fond of the idea of marriage and tbh i have went through alot of trauma in my life and not once have i seen a proper marriage through out my whole life. I think the only marriage that truly works is in fairytales.

My dad was a cheater, and my parents never had that love they talk abt in the movies. Really every man in my family who was married was awful to their wives in some way, and even if they were a good husband and father the marriage still lacked true love and chemistry and see i just REALLY don’t want to get married to a man who will probably cheat or abuse me, and if the best i can have is a “comfortable” marriage where everyone does their duties but there is zero love or chemistry then whats the point of getting married? My neighbor’s husband beats her up and they ALWAYS fight every week and we hear them regularly (but thats at my dads house which is in another city so im not there all year long)

They say “just pick the right man” but everyone shows u their good side first and only show their true colors when they have u exactly where they want u. Im never having children, I don’t want to bring suffering to anyone as i wish my mom had done with me

So long story short I don’t want to get married and I DEFINITELY don’t want children, I don’t care for romance at all, i want to live my 20s-60s traveling and enjoying life and im very comfortable with the idea of growing old in a nursing home later on

However…there is one problem: im hypersexual, always have been as long as i can remember, ever since i was a toddler (yes im aware that sounds alarming, and also dw i have my messages turned off) and the other thing is that im a muslim, i cannot commit zina (premarital sex)

There is probably no solution to this. Honestly the only thing i thought of but im not so sure if i will ever find someone who would be down for this but i want to marry just to make intercourse and intimacy halal but not to perform my marital duties, and perhaps not even live in the same house and only visit eachother. Ik it might sound odd but is there any other solution?

I am too scared to love and get married, i just want intimacy with someone im attracted to whos attracted to me too.

I do laser hair removal on only my shins and not my thighs cause i also do my underarms and doing it on my whole 2 legs is pretty expensive.

I mean thats working well so far but i hate how my legs look overall. I have strawberry skin, pimples on my upper thighs and those brown spots that appear after going through acne that just DONT GO AWAY! But all these issues were probably caused from shaving. Im so jealous of ppl who can shave and not have all these problems.

I also have thick hairs on my thighs and idk how to get rid of them using a painless method that doesn’t leave behind more issues for me to take care of: strawberry skin, acne, skin irritation etc… and shaving also doesn’t do much for me cause my hair will grow back in a day or 2

I feel so insecure i want soft clear legs especially since its the summer, is that so much to ask. Everytime i go to the beach and see womens legs (not in a creepy way promise) they’re always so clear and they literally look like they naturally don’t even grow hair, while my legs look like a man’s

This is just a mini vent post

My dad actually had the audacity to say “men cook better than women can thats why most chefs are men” the other day, i told him so why don’t u cook lunch and dinner instead of mom? (He doesn’t have a job atm do he can if he wants to)

What pisses me off more is my mom was in the room and whenever my dad says bs like this she either laughs with him or says nothing.

My mom isn’t any better tho, just the other day we were watching a show where a mom who has anger issues was getting cheated on by her husband with multiple women and my mom said “he has every right to cheat on her when she is acting like this”

Mind u my own mom has terrible anger issues and my dad cheats on her too AND she knows!!

I (17F) was at the beach today and a random guy my age that worked there kept bothering me for a while. He asked me if i smoke i told him no and then asked if i would like to go on his boat and he would charge me but i told him i didnt want to

The thing is that it seems i appeared welcoming and friendly which made him more comfortable to start random convos with me. I didn’t know what to do or how to get out of the situation but then my mom found me and took me away to eat lunch.

She asked me who i was with and i explained it was an employee here trying to bother me so i pay him for a ride on his boat and she told me “so u just go around talking to strangers?”

I felt like a sl*t or smth because this has happened multiple times too, my friend’s cousin even used to touch me and caress me without my permission but I didn’t know how to stop him (this was years ago tho) but till this day my weakness makes me feel so stupid.

When it comes to men or anyone i do know who bothers me i almost always know how to respond and im not afraid to be mean but when its strangers or ppl idk that well its like my mind goes completely blank

I ask for help because soon i will be off to college abroad and i want to be strong and capable and prepare myself for when in in situations like this.

I (17F) have never exactly been in a proper relationship ever and i would like to keep it that way. In a way, im kind of traumatized by my dad who cheated on my mom before i was born and then catching him cheating myself when i was 10, so due to this i kind of sworn off relationships

I have always wanted to understand why ppl cheat in relationships to begin with but another question that i would like to get answers for is why on earth would someone willingly stay with an unfaithful partner??

I have always looked at my mom weird for staying with a cheating husband (im not sure if he is still actively cheating on her or not but regardless) WHY???

Its not like they truly love each other or anything, I understand that sometimes u rely on them or sometimes emotional manipulation is at play which ig is the main reason to why someone would do this to themselves??

Idk i have always wondered this because im so scared to end up like my mom so i want to avoid it as much as i can.

Tldr: why do ppl stay with cheating/unfaithful partners??

https://www.reddit.com/r/AIO/s/rweRjPjDt5

First i really want to thank everyone who tried to help and give advice, I can’t begin to describe how horrible and lonely i have been feeling and being able to to talk to ppl abt this made me feel a bit better. Like this situation had such a toll on me i installed reddit just to make that post and ask for help.

Anyway, my dad found out why i couldn’t look at him in the eyes the past few days and he was so pissed off at me because he thinks i thought of him as a rapist.

I tried telling him and my mom (who keeps defending him) that I don’t believe he would hurt me like this i just simply didn’t like the joke and it made me uncomfortable especially since its coming from my father.

My mom has been pissed off at me too because she wants me to apologize to him because apparently im at fault for taking his joke the wrong way. I told her im not apologizing for feeling uncomfortable he should be apologizing to me, then she said “don’t let that joke slide with anyone else but he is ur father so he jokes and says whatever and u can’t react this way”

I started sobbing at that. How could such words come out of my mother’s tongue?

Also i an supposed to move out of the house and live in another country for uni in a few months but my dad has been threatening to not let me go because “I can’t live alone with my messed up mentality or i will hurt myself and the ppl around me”

Oh another funny thing he said to my mom was “she thinks her own dad would do smth like that?? This is no place to joke abt this sort of stuff”

Like dude…ur the one who made the joke??

All i wanted was an apology from him but instead this is how he is reacting. Also mind u the joke in the first place was his reaction to him not believing marital rape is a thing.

Idk what to do anymore. But the good news is that my dad is driving to another city tomorrow for a while im not sure how long (we live in city A, sometimes we visit city B for his family and stuff, he prefers city B since it is his hometown, over city A which is my moms home town) so hopefully he stays there for a long time

I have been feeling incredibly suicid@l lately because i have always suffered with severe hypersexuality and my parents are making me believe im disgusting and weird for taking this joke the wrong way so im starting to think its due to my condition that i might have been at fault. genuinely dont know who to confide in since my mother is no help and she only cares i apologize because im the crazy one and what im doing is sinful because god is angry with ME!

i told her why would he be angry at a helpless girl for getting uncomfortable over a joke like that??

Im a 17 year old girl. For context, me and my mom lived together alone for years while my dad worked abroad. I used to be very close to him and adored him till i caught him cheating on my mom by catching him using dating apps. at the time i was like 10 or so. I told my mom and she didnt do anything.

Even tho my dad lives abroad he still visits once a year in the summer. During covid my parents got divorced for like a 2 years before they unfortunately got back together. I still till this day don’t even know why they got divorced but during this period my mom was miserable and i was only 12 when she told me that my dad used to cheat on her before i was even born.

I hated him and cut him off but when my mom remarried him i was forced to rekindle my relationship with him. Like i said im now 17 and my dad stopped working due to old age so ofc he had to come live with us now. It has only been a few weeks and i hate it sm. My mom is such a pick me around him and it grosses me out sm because he is a damn CHEATER why doesn’t she care??? She is always picking his side at everything. Now comes the part that im here for.

A few days ago i was sitting with my parents and i was discussing w them that i don’t plan on getting married because men this generation suck and i gave an example by saying “alot of men don’t even know that rape can still exist in a marriage” when i said this, my dad started laughing and said “im gonna rape u and ur mom”

i was in shock and so disgusted. My mom just giggled at his joke and istg that night i sobbed till my eyes were so swollen it hurt to blink. I have always felt my dad was kinda of a perv (not necessarily towards me but just in general) but this was so weird. I get that it was a joke but it wasn’t funny and i felt so guilty for staying quite. i spent the days after that locked in my room not able to look him in the eyes and praying for him to leave the house.

They noticed i was miserable and instead of being compassionate they cut ME off because according to them “im not being a good daughter”. Today, my dad went outside to watch a football match at a cafe. I finally went to my mom to talk to her abt that joke dad said and (ofcourse) she defended him by saying im mentally ill and that it was a harmless joke, he is just my dad after all. She started yelling at me like crazy even tho i was being calm and told me im dramatic. When things calmed down tho she said i should talk to him when he comes back, i only asked of her to be by my side because im not at fault for being uncomfortable and u should have been uncomfortable too.

When my dad came back an hour later tho she beat me to it and told him, needless to say she wasn’t by my side and was just sucking up to him. Now he is the one upset with me and didn’t even bother apologizing. Am i being dramatic? I don’t know what to do. I feel so lonely and i cant speak abt this with anyone ik irl, also i want to say I don’t actually think he would ever do anything to me (atleast i hope not) but it doesn’t change the fact i was uncomfortable. Being molested or sexually assaulted has always been a fear of mine too. Plz help me. Idk if im overreacting or not

Im a 17 year old girl. For context, me and my mom lived together alone for years while my dad worked abroad. I used to be very close to him and adored him till i caught him cheating on my mom by catching him using dating apps. at the time i was like 10 or so. I told my mom and she didnt do anything.

Even tho my dad lives abroad he still visits once a year in the summer. During covid my parents got divorced for like a 2 years before they unfortunately got back together. I still till this day don’t even know why they got divorced but during this period my mom was miserable and i was only 12 when she told me that my dad used to cheat on her before i was even born.

I hated him and cut him off but when my mom remarried him i was forced to rekindle my relationship with him. Like i said im now 17 and my dad stopped working due to old age so ofc he had to come live with us now. It has only been a few weeks and i hate it sm. My mom is such a pick me around him and it grosses me out sm because he is a damn CHEATER why doesn’t she care??? She is always picking his side at everything. Now comes the part that im here for.

A few days ago i was sitting with my parents and i was discussing w them that i don’t plan on getting married because men this generation suck and i gave an example by saying “alot of men don’t even know that rape can still exist in a marriage” when i said this, my dad started laughing and said “im gonna rape u and ur mom”

i was in shock and so disgusted. My mom just giggled at his joke and istg that night i sobbed till my eyes were so swollen it hurt to blink. I have always felt my dad was kinda of a perv (not necessarily towards me but just in general) but this was so weird. I get that it was a joke but it wasn’t funny and i felt so guilty for staying quite. i spent the days after that locked in my room not able to look him in the eyes and praying for him to leave the house.

They noticed i was miserable and instead of being compassionate they cut ME off because according to them “im not being a good daughter”. Today, my dad went outside to watch a football match at a cafe. I finally went to my mom to talk to her abt that joke dad said and (ofcourse) she defended him by saying im mentally ill and that it was a harmless joke, he is just my dad after all. She started yelling at me like crazy even tho i was being calm and told me im dramatic. When things calmed down tho she said i should talk to him when he comes back, i only asked of her to be by my side because im not at fault for being uncomfortable and u should have been uncomfortable too.

When my dad came back an hour later tho she beat me to it and told him, needless to say she wasn’t by my side and was just sucking up to him. Now he is the one upset with me and didn’t even bother apologizing. Am i being dramatic? I don’t know what to do. I feel so lonely and i cant speak abt this with anyone ik irl, also i want to say I don’t actually think he would ever do anything to me (atleast i hope not) but it doesn’t change the fact i was uncomfortable. Being molested or sexually assaulted has always been a fear of mine too. Plz help me. Idk if im overreacting or not