u/beebeeaudio

hello! i am Hanielle and i have read tarot for about six years now. i often use my intuition in my craft to lead to the best possible interpretation. i am always honest to those i give readings for, as there are many who are dishonest in exchange for engagement. i offer both free readings (in my leisure time) as well as paid readings.

free readings are fairly detailed, do not ask yes/no questions or rush me. i will ignore you. i read only for those i have not read for before (account must be one month old to avoid alt spam), and if i have read for you, i will give another so as long as you leave a review. if you have ghosted me in the past, i will never read for you on that account again. i have 0 FREE SLOTS LEFT!

the reason for discussion is partially inspired by this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/NevilleGoddard/s/kd4bLiGQVh

in some cases, i have witnessed the bridge wreck havoc upon someone's life. of course, this must sometimes occur in order to achieve the desire -- but if we are the creator, then why must we seemingly undergo such circumstances? could we not simply imagine the bridge is a benevolent one, free of trife? and if we can imagine -- bring into being a much simpler bridge -- then why do none seem to open their mind to the possibility? for what i understand of the law, in all of its infinite possibilities, would that not also include a reality in which radical life change can simply be done, and not be a hurdle to maneuver?

EDIT: Don't worry about being one day, one week, or one month late! I'm always willing to chat!

i want friends but i also want family. i never saw my extended family, my brother left when i was 5, my father and grandmother and cat left when i was 9, and now it is just my mother and i but we never talk because we have nothing in common. i really like writing and i want to learn a language with someone maybe. but on a more familial note, i just want to feel cared for. please have discord because i'm trying to be on reddit less (it also feels very weird in comparison.) i don't play games and i don't watch anime, but if someone wants me to study with them i'd be happy to. i don't really like watching shows because they take too much time, but we can watch a movie or find something we both like? same goes for reading, i also enjoy spiritual practices. older adults are ok just keep it sfw. i also prefer older siblings, but younger siblings are ok as well (14 minimum.) dms are open! :)

it took a lot of work to open up to strangers on reddit, don't be a prick.

my second attempt at publishing this post and a rewrite, as i deleted the first out of shame. i am familiar with psychological studies, however i am unfamiliar with the exact terms of Carl Jung, and so i will not make a fool of myself by misusing them. feel free to use as much terminology as you'd like in your answer, though.

from what i know thus far, my shadow contains a narcissistic, possessive, and avaricious individual. it's something that, when i feel this aspect bubble up, i crave boundless praise as well as control. when i indulge even slightly, or am given one compliment, or have one friend which i cherish -- i become neurotically fixated on keeping these things so as not to lose them, and acquiring more for my own pleasure -- because 'i deserve it.'

the tricky part is, my environment isn't quite fit for this sort of work. it isn't awful, but there are times where i can't help but to trigger myself (giving things away for money, to afford necessities or small luxuries i deserve) and this happens a few times per month. and each time, that ache gets stronger, as does my pride which kept me away for so long.

my point being, when i touch my shadow, even for a split second, i go from a humble, minimalistic woman to a materialistic egomaniac ... and i hate myself for it. but if i keep ignoring it, it will only get worse. i need practical advice. by 'practical advice' i do not mean underwhelming shadow work prompts, rather something that makes sense for this particular issue. i know many have described themselves to be haughty deep down, but it is the greed and need for control over everyone that slips me up most.

(i know this seems poorly written, but here i only mean to give ample context to those who intend on responding, feel free to skip as it only further describes my issues.)

i struggle with feeling as if i do inherently own people. i never say this, but i feel entitled to their everything even without giving back. it's something that is automatic for me, no matter how hard i try, i somehow fall into that pattern, and it has caused me many friendships. i make myself their number one and their kindness feeds my ego. i know i repeated myself quite a bit, but that's how it really goes. and i want to get better but as i said before, pushing against it in any form makes it worse, and so i fall into my own trap.

feel free to inquire further if i was at any point confusing.

thank you in advance,

may be a slightly dumb question, but for as much as i think norwegian is a nice sounding language (i even bought books for it), is it truly worth learning a language that is divided up in many dialects? being norwegian speakers, can you understand each other, or are there differences which consistently result in misunderstanding?

i know that, in italy for example, they have dialects (rather conlanguages), but are still able to communicate through standard italian. as for english speakers -- the US, UK, and Australia each have notable differences, so it is something like that instead?

i apologize if i seemed rude at any point in writing this post, and thank you in advance for responding.

EDIT: Thank you all for your response! I asked this question as someone who considered learning norwegian for fun, and as of now I've decided I am going to go through with it! Have a lovely day,

temporary post, i was able to contact sp recently and was very happy but then i had some past trauma come up with people leaving and ... it only lasted for 3 days. whats weird is i was in such a good state before and now i've somehow convinced myself it's over even though i know he loves me (?) i decided to just give up and cut off social media which is my only means of contact with him. my point is, how do you avoid worrying about something that was ingrained in you as a child? i did write a post about saying i could affirm i can be as worried as i want and manifest anyway, but i'm just so worried but also so miserable that i can't even believe that. sorry for bad vibes, just a bad day. as for the title, the isolated part is because everyone except sp drains me. i also only have 2 or 3 friends, and can be awkward with them. my job is taking care of my mother so i don't have any 'real' work. blue light hurts my eyes so gaming/being online tires me. in other words, it's really hard to distract myself. i thought about affirming that i can forget about sp until he comes back soon, but i naturally cling to my memories of people, so it just made me more paranoid. that's it ... please help.

potentially sensitive dream, but not graphic.

i was in a tower made of stone and sand. the tower itself referenced a home i had in my childhood, of which unpleasant things happened there. i do not know why i was there, but i remember i had my hand on a ledge. make no mistake -- i had no intent of ending my life. rather, i could not let go of my grip, otherwise i would swiftly descend several stories, meeting a cold stone floor. i could not request help, either, as the building was hollow, and the only door to elsewhere was shut. and yet, i could not proceed upwards, because i had to retrieve my possessions by climbing down. i did not have good grip, nor did i have good posture; my body had been sloppy in movement. still, i went down, and all of a sudden the owner returned. thus, i went back up. when i did, i became stoic. she and i did not exchange words, and i promptly returned to what i had been attempting to do. after time passed, i arrived at a ladder. i had no choice but to jump down a few feet or so to do it, or else i risk losing everything and need to climb back up. i go for it ... and i miss. i fumble until i, by some miracle, grasp the second to last rung of the ladder. but wait -- there's more! i need to jump another few feet to truly receive my items -- all three are in sight. to remain safe, i do not jump. instead, i utilize my height and flexibility to (somehow) retrieve four items. i leave behind my phone, but remember taking my blue light glasses, some sort of canister, and some sort of ... something else. i nearly dropped my glasses multiple times, but i make it up the ladder. contrary to my earlier thought, there is no way up but to climb. i latch my hand on the ledge for what i hope is the final time, and progress upwards. the weight of the structures within the tower begin to merge, crushing me under its weight. i let go of the ledge, as well as my items, and as i fall the tower crumbles in on itself.

i am not sure if i died there. usually i wake up if i do, but instead i simply went to a dream with snow, which was nice.

and again -- i am looking for interpretations. thank you in advance,

i by no means claim to wield the power of one million galaxies, but my golly would you all solve your problems if you cut the bullshit.

just a warning, these are methods and realizations which work or have worked for me.

in no particular order -- get off of subreddits and focus inward. i don't mean you need to have a spa day and get all dolled up, but what i do mean is doubt is a projection of your own mind, and success stories are a filter to apply logic. in moderation, i'm sure it puts a smile on your face to see someone manifest money, but in the case you are frustrated by 3D circumstances, it opens up a path for envy: 'why them and not me?' perception. also, stop looking for new and improved techniques. go crazy on subliminals, SATs, robotic affirmations -- hell, do a spell with a strand of your SP's hair -- it's all belief. they all work the same. i know it is easier said than done to spend less time doubting and more time believing ... the good thing is, you don't have to! just affirm you 'always get what you desire without needing to work for it', and said desire 'is better than i (you) ever could've imagined.' boom, done, now you can cry in a corner. though remember not to entertain other mental nonsense too much. (if i am extremely upset i tell myself that what i am about to say is all fake, or that it is a story that made me emotional.) also, some of you just don't want to be happy, or could not imagine your life being any other way. personal story, i've been stuck at 180 pounds in spite of having a deficit and working out, while my best friend ways far less and eats a ton. this not only gave me a goal to reach, but it enabled me to be toxic towards myself in many ways -- one of which was affirming against my desires -- because after i lost 20 lbs, i saw i was making progress, and was scared i'd no longer have a goal to reach. not saying you're all secretly conspiring to make your life as bad as possible -- but it is something to think about. the post is enough of a wall as is, so the last thing i'd like to add -- you are the law. while, yes, we do study 'it,' 'it' is, above all, the study of ourselves.

that's all, thanks,

TW gore, violence

looking for interpretations, thank you in advance,

A woman opened my front door and looked for me -- watched me, rather. She had a child. She attempted to enter, and i knew she was a threat, so i stabbed her left eye, beat her, and took her child in to safety. I had turned around to do so, and when i turned back around towards the door and fallen woman, i tried to lock it, but she got up. Her eyes both intact, she told me she had extras, 5 total. So i reached into her and squeezed them. The feeling repulsed me, but she was gone.

nothing else in the dream stood out to me. i attended the entrance of a school for the first time in awhile -- i did have a shadow creature live in the attic, but i let it be so as long as it did not harm me. essentially, it is just a random dream -- which makes it all the more peculiar.

also, i am not a violent person. i also dislike children (though i suppose i was trying to help.) and, the squeezing scene keeps playing on in my mind. Though i am not disturbed by that, i very rarely have such dreams occur. the last time was in January this year, and before that it is too far off to recall.

TW: brief mention of death.

life is short. life is too short to wait an uncertain amount of time. when i attempted to redirect my attention to having it -- sure, it worked -- but it's not the same. we have not talked for three months now. and i admit, even back then i had my own whims, one of which led him to apparently say he does not care about me.

i know this is untrue, in fact, i know he misses me and wishes we could talk as well -- and in my mind, a part of why he has not yet is because he is afraid of what i'd say. from here, it sounds self explanatory -- 'just affirm he isn't scared to talk to you!'. but the issue is, for me, i am very scared of being rejected or messing up my own manifestation.

i guess i do need the ego satisfaction, and am i wrong? people could die at anytime, so i'd like to make the most of what he and i have here. i am also sick of deluding myself with SATs -- i understand the purpose is believing it, living it, but when i wake up it leaves me yearning for an experience i cannot recall.

so, do i reach out or no?

that's all, thanks,

woooweee, i have a new sp but old sp signs are loud like a drum.

i know, i know, 3D reflects all SPs or something, but, this is genuinely odd. all of a sudden i'm seeing old sp name everywhere with marriage symbolism, and then i dreamt not of him but people who work on the same career path? (imagine sp wants to be an actor and then you dream of actors) which never happens -- and it was the same thing for 3 weeks straight. and then i suddenly became 'interested' in that career path. i was intrigued, but i have no idea why this is happening when i have stated several times i only desire new sp? old sp was bad towards me.

also, i am having insanely vivid visions of new sp, and i had one dream about him that felt so real i went to check my messages -- but nothing? it feels like i'm doing something wrong. and it's weird because i WANT to say i'm doing something right -- but i can't. especially because i am waiting for a text from new sp (been trying to convince myself i have it, but times could be better rn.)

so, case in point, am i actually doing something wrong if more of these signs are (almost invasively) coming from my ex/old sp rather than new sp? one month ago i did have other signs of movement from past people i tried to manifest -- but never anything like this.

alright, so two years ago i dated a man who suffered from a heart condition and was supposedly fated to die due to lack of funds. a few months into the relationship i begin to tell myself he's not going to die and everything will be fine, he'll live etc. we break up and even though i was upset at him i kept manifesting for his good health and for him to find a girl he really truly loves and treats right. we talk again one year later ish and he tells me he is completely cured. (in addition to work, there was a windfall of money, and the cost wasn't as high as before.) around this time i was also manifesting him back, and he told me they broke up because they 'just weren't right for one another' and mutually broke up. after that we did get back together but my self concept was bad, so my success was a success but also a failure lol. just wanted to share for those who are struggling with having conditions or a loved one who has a condition.

EDIT: around 8 months total of manifesting, though i'm sure everything will work out in your favor if you need it sooner than that.

i want to immigrate to a country, but doing so is -- it feels nearly impossible. i come from a poor background and have faced homelessness many times. things are a bit better now, but i'm still a minor -- a dropout, and i take care of my mother.

i know i can manifest it, but i'm struggling being able to get into the state, because the country is more expensive to live in, and exchange schools are a no go. i can't even leave my house or get a job if not 2 hours away...walking distance.

point is, circumstances suck and i'd really like some motivation or advice. even worse is i don't want a job because i'm worried about her. she doesn't have much time left and has severe anxiety -- but i can't allow myself to be stuck here! so...i'm just at a loss.

i've considered revision, but there are just so many other factors. in the meantime, i've been using blanket affirmations, but i get caught back up in 'what if's.'

thanks in advance,

i've been VERY sick, and i am also a manifestor, but i have no experience with AP and thought i'd ask.

i was waking up from a deep slumber. and i do not know why -- possibly my concern penetrated the conscious mind to the unconscious, and just before waking up i wanted to visit him.

i was awake, and yet i was pulled in his room -- a gray room -- and he had a locket. my name + 17. he closed it, and went out to 'buy a star for $3.99' very specific. the locket almost looked vintage or handmade. i was there, but the more i speak of it the more it feels fake. and once i knew he was safe, given we hadn't spoke in awhile -- i let myself come to reality.

really, i know nothing else if not him rummaging through his belongings, and thought this was strange as i've never experienced such a thing.

it has been awhile and i truly do miss you. for a few days now, a lot has been going on, and i wish i could talk to you about these things. i hope you feel the same way i feel for you, because you are the only one who has ever understood me so completely. i truly do miss you. i promise, on my soul, on my heart, and on all of me, i will never leave you -- i will never stop loving you. but being in separation hurts, you know? love hurts and loneliness hurts. life is short, my love, and so i will continue to love you -- just you. i no longer care whether or not you push me away. i no longer care whether or not you are going to hurt me -- because you never have, and i know you enough to say you never would intentionally. but, i'd love it if you'd come home. i miss you. i have talked to tens of thousands of people, yet none compare to you. but, if you keep giving me the silent treatment, i'm going to cry, you know. i love you. i just want to talk to you again soon. call me out on this if you want, but you know where to find me.

hi, i'm hanielle!

i've spoken here on 2 or 3 occasions on random usernames, and have decided i should make and keep one account so i can share experiences i have w/o removing em'. i have OCD, so i apologize in advance. i will be comprehensible once i am done here, lol.

i am a reserved person, and i like reading when i can. i also like cooking, journaling, music, sciences, singing, and so on. now -- love -- when i love, i need all of them. i am also a possessive individual, so possessive and obsessive and lovesick i want to throw up, but not before i saturate their world in my hue. but, if i go on a tangent now, i will miss the purpose of introducing myself -- so, like many of you, i do love someone completely, and yet i do have a particular friend also. my feelings invade everyone i become attached to, unfortunately. all in all, i am pleased to be here, and hope all goes well from here onwards.

thank you for reading,