I barely get any sleep these days because I wake about every 2 hours. I try not to drink much before bed but nothing seems to make much of a difference. Ive been on 3 different bladder meds and none of them do anything besides make my mouth so dry that im just peeing even more from all the water im drinking
Any opinions on whether it will be safe to tent camp in acadia this weekend? I dont mind rain and dont want to cancel the trip but I'm nervous about safety if we are getting nor easter winds! Is anyone else planning on being there this weekend?
If someone asks you for a favor or something and you very easily could have just said no, or even worse, if you actively offered to do the favor, and then you complain to me endlessly about what a burden it is on you or even talk poorly about the person youre doing it for, I have no patience or empathy for you.
Obviously there are times that people create a situation where it's difficult/uncomfortable/socially unacceptable to say no but thats not what I mean. I mean something like someone asks "could I come up to visit this weekend" and you could have just said it's a bad time but say yes anyway and then wont stop whining to everyone about how much youre dreading it when you could've just been honest with that person.
I dont care if youre a "people pleaser". Go to therapy. You cant use childhood trauma as an excuse for zero communication skills well into adulthood.
My advisor is very very hands-on. They are aren't mean but are kind of obsessive. They look at every data file the minute I generate it before I even get a chance to analyze it. I've started keeping the files to myself until I've had a chance to look at the data and think about it on my own, but we also have lab techs and interns doing some work for my project who upload it to the cloud immediately.
I get emails every morning as soon as I walk in telling me what all of my data means and what to do next. I'm in my 4th year. I feel like I'm not learning anything or gaining independence because I never get to think for myself what my results mean and what I should do to troubleshoot things. It is always being spoon fed to me. I have to race my boss to analyzing things and they always manage to be right on top of it somehow.
I don't know if I'm just being ungrateful asking for less help and worry I'll be told that it's because I'm not working hard enough or something. Sometimes I honestly would prefer to just get yelled at to work harder/faster like everyone else's advisors do instead of being treated like an undergrad.
Im 28 and only have 5k saved (just for retirement, i have more in general savings). I've never been able to have a 401k because I've been in grad school and I only had enough disposable income to bother getting a Roth about a year ago. I put $200/mo into it and invest 100%. What's my best bet to catch up a bit?
Right now im doing a manual Roth where I choose my own investments. Would I be better off paying a small fee to have their robot investor optimize everything? Or should I just try to increase my monthly deposits instead? Idk what a typical monthly payment should be. I am struggling to save for undergrad loans payments, emergency funds for a car for when my current one falls apart, and retirement all at once. The car and loans feel more immediate so ive been making bigger payments into my general high yield savings than into my Roth
It's the first time in my life that it's been possible to get fast food that's fairly nutritionally complete and (at many of the more healthfood oriented ones) doesnt wrench apart my guts later and actually feels like reasonably fresh ingredients. They should expand past corporate shopping centers and be more present in places like airports and road stops. It's also ridiculous to call them "slop". It's meat, vegetables, and grains. That's just a normal meal.
I keep seeing people complaining about not being tired enough to sleep or meds not making them sleepy. Ive tried plenty of meds that made me *very* sleepy where I could barely keep my eyes open, but I will still just lay there with my eyes shut the entire night completely conscious. Wtf is my problem??
I hear commonly that you work way more than 40 hr /week in grad school. Im in a pretty rigorous stem phd and I did have 1 or 2 semesters where I had to work long days and weekends because of my course load on top of teaching. But for the majority of my degree especially since finishing classes I've worked a pretty consistent 40 hr if even that and can't imagine doing any more than that consistently without burning out.
Longer days are easier to do when I have samples to run but if I'm just writing or doing data analysis I tap out after 6 hours honestly. I feel like I'm being lazy or something but I cant fathom ever sitting down and just writing for 10 hr straight. Are people exaggerating or is everyone really working this much? What are you even doing with that much time? Am I going to have to work that much once I have more samples to process?
I (26F) am a very structured person. I need my routines. I'm an academic and it's hard to manage my life without staying a bit structured. I'm the kind of person where even if I had a terrible day and am completely exhausted and burnt out there is still a bare minimum level of self care I will do to make dinner, clear off the counter, at least wash the biggest dishes, get myself properly ready for bed, etc. If there's more tasks on my agenda that arent getting done it just makes me more stressed.
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My girlfriend (30F) of 3 years is the kind of person who if she had a rough week will come home and completely skip dinner to just lay on the couch, throw her stuff all over and not clean up after herself, etc. Takeout or instant meals are hard because money and I have specific health needs and a very sensitive stomach so it's difficult to compromise there. It's also about more than just meals but that's one of the bigger tasks that comes up often.
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What ends up happening is that when we both have a hard week I end up feeling like I'm doing everything by myself even though im just as tired as she is. But she views it as I'm choosing to do all of that and could just choose to relax like her. Sometimes she'll even spend the night at a friend's house if she knows they'll cook for her without expecting her to help clean up like I would.
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I want to stress that neither of us has any significant mental illness that we're aware of. Is there a compromise here that I'm not seeing or is this the kind of thing that's just always going to be incompatible?
I dont know when this became a trend, but the past few years I can't seem to go anywhere that involves dressing up or cosplay (pride, rennfaire, cons) without it being full of men shoving cameras in my face. Sometimes they ask and sometimes they just walk past and hold their camera out in front of me.
I understand i might end up in the backgrounds of photos in a public place, but that's different than walking up to an individual and taking a close-up photo of their body. It's f*cking creepy and rude.
EDIT: I'm not referring to any time people take photos of fun costumes. Im specifically referring to seeing men walk around photographing every young woman and only young woman regardless of what the outfit is. My cosplays are all very basic and pride events aren't even really a cosplay
I (27F) am a relatively fit person. Not an athlete, but I work out 5x/week, take walks nearly every day, and go on reasonably long hikes ~2-4x/month. But when I do really long, strenuous 8+ mile hikes at elevation I hike slow and I hurt the next day or am just exhausted.
I really want to pick up backpacking so I can make it to peaks that I wouldnt be able to get to in one day but after a long strenuous day hike I can't imagine getting up and doing that long of a hike again the next day. I hear about people doing about 8-10 miles a day backpacking and I dont understand how you sustain that for multiple days in a row. I've known people who never hiked before that just went out and did the entire AT spontaneously and it makes me feel like there's something wrong with my body.
Is there some secret to this that I'm missing?
I know that my trauma affects me because if something implicitly triggers it I have an extreme emotional reaction. Like if someone yells at me I will immediately cry. But if you just ask me to remember my abuser yelling at me I'm not going to cry just from thinking about it, especially when I know I am in a safe space.
I don't really understand how to do emdr because the way my therapist is doing it revolves entirely around asking how I feel about the memory before and after reprocessing. But I don't feel anything.. Just asking me to remember the person or the event in a room far away from the person and event does not immediately trigger any emotion at all.
I can tell you how distressing it is from an objective standpoint but im not actually feeling any emotion in my body. I can tell you how distressing I remember it being at the time, but I'm not feeling that in the moment.
I would add the caveats that bragging in a way that actively tears down someone else is wrong and bragging about things that are not actually valid is irritating. But bragging about a genuine accomplishment or skill you have should not be frowned upon.
If you got an A on a test you should be able to excitedly tell everyone about it. If other people who didnt do well are offended, that should be viewed as a reflection of their own insecurity. If youre good at something, you should be able to admit outright that youre good at it. You shouldnt have to lie or downplay yourself to make insecure people feel better. It's obvious when someone is being humble just for the sake of sounding humble and often they just end up humble bragging which is significantly more irritating than just bragging upfront.
Been seeing my therapist since December. She is listed as in network and told me i would have a $15 copay. But she hasn't submitted any claims to my insurance or sent me a payment link. When I ask she just says "yeah im bad at sending that out" but then still doesnt send it. Should I just stop seeing her?
Ive taken hydroxyzine, trazadone, melatonin, cannabis, valium, klonopin, xanax. The benzos make me feel tired but still dont shut my brain down. Anything else feels like I'm just taking sugar pills. Literally don't feel a thing. Klonopin sometimes works if I take enough but no guarantee. For the most part I dont seem to feel any effects at all from any of these. Is anyone else just medication resistant somehow? What is wrong with me? I only weigh 95 lbs so it shouldnt take a lot to sedate me !!
If im willing to pay for it will they do it? Or give me meds at least? Has anyone gone to the er for insomnia?
Something like "Hey I can't afford 75 right now but am interested. If you don't get anyone else let me know if you'd be willing to do 50."
I know people haggle sometimes but I dont wanna be rude or low ball too much. I am not good with social skills. Is this an okay way to phrase this? Sorry if question sounds stupid
Every craft fair I go to over half of the tables are things like the same 3D printed slop, very simple digital art or words (now often clearly AI made) printed on plastic water bottles, unoriginal designs laser cut onto simple wooden items. You can tell that none of it is authentic because there are so many vendors with basically the exact same merchandise. And then they will brag about being a local small business.
If youre going to scam people with that crap at least sell it online or something, but dont show up to a fair advertised as "local artists" and have a table full of ai art on cheap plastic bottles. People running fairs that they claim are for local artists need to stop allowing vendors that are just mass producing machine made items