u/bombay_ki_PavBhaaji

Started seeing a neighbor (Me 26F, he 24M), a few weeks ago — fell hard and fast, which is rare for me. Things moved quickly: long walks, dates, flowers, deep conversations, mutual "I like you." He was slower emotionally, said he wanted to take things slow and it takes him time to feel safe. He was also quicker physically — pushed for physical intimacy fairly early, even as he asked me to hold back emotionally.

There was a physical incident where he kept trying to escalate things after I'd explicitly said no more than once — even asked for a sexual act after my "no." I confronted him about it later, he apologized sincerely without making excuses, said my consent mattered more than his "lust," and it seemed to genuinely land.

The next night I asked him directly and seriously whether he could ever see a future/marriage with me. He was firm: scared of marriage in general, doesn't know a single good marriage, wants to live alone forever for his freedom, doesn't want to be "tied down." He said that he can give me his love, care and affection but marriage is not something he can guarantee.

I'm 26, facing real family pressure to get married soon (arranged marriage biodatas being sent constantly), so I don't have unlimited time to "wait and see." I ended things over this incompatibility, but I miss him a lot — the connection, the walks, the daily conversations — and keep wondering if I gave up too fast or should try again once.

Should I take his stated position as a genuine dealbreaker and move on, or is there a reasonable case for revisiting this?

(AI assisted post)

I’ve noticed a pattern here that’s honestly exhausting. Every time a girl posts about a creepy guy — whether she’s sharing how she shut down inappropriate behavior, or just describing a guy who barely put in effort before expecting a date — the comment section turns into a pile-on.

It doesn’t matter what the context is. Somehow the guy is always given the benefit of the doubt, and the girl is the one who gets torn apart. She’s told she “overreacted,” that she’s “too sensitive,” that she “misread” the situation, that she’s “ungrateful” for attention. Sometimes even worse, that she deserves that kind of behaviour. Even when the chat screenshots are right there showing exactly what was said. And when such comments are reported, the mods don’t do anything. They are just nowhere to be seen.

I get the argument that “we only see one side of the story.” Fair enough, sometimes. But even when the receipts are posted, the tone doesn’t change. It’s not skepticism, it’s a reflex to disbelieve her by default and defend the guy by default.

And it’s hard not to notice who’s doing most of this — a chunk of guys who seem more bitter about not getting matches themselves than actually invested in fairness. It reads less like “let’s hear both sides” and more like “how dare she call out a man.”

I also think a lot of it comes from insecurity. The moment a woman raises her voice, or speaks up clearly against something wrong, some guys get uncomfortable. It’s like they see her being bold and direct and think, “why is she being more confident than me,” or “why is she acting more sure of herself than I am.” Instead of dealing with that discomfort, they attack her for it. Her being vocal isn’t the actual problem — it just makes them feel small, and taking her down feels easier than sitting with that feeling.

If this sub is supposed to be a space where girls can talk about their dating experiences, that’s not what it feels like anymore. It feels like walking into a room and getting gaslit the second you say something didn’t sit right with you.

Genuinely curious if other women here have felt the same, or if I’m just noticing a particularly loud minority. It’s a possibility that this post will also be attacked by some incels, or maybe not, but I am here just to seek opinion about it from other members of the sub. When it’s done by one guy, it is understandable, but when the whole bunch of men start behaving the same way, honestly it feels like something is wrong here with men as a whole.

Took help from AI to frame the post.

We are a group of 3 Redditors, looking for more people to join us for a Saturday morning ride to Lonavala . We will be setting off at around 5-6 am.

We will have breakfast, will do some sightseeing if time allows and return back to Pune.

Lmk if you are interested (this is not a bike ride kind of a trip).

I matched with a guy on Hinge about a week ago. Good matches are really rare for me — most guys either put in zero effort or immediately steer things toward physical stuff. This guy is different. He’s my type physically, the conversation flows naturally, he’s not creepy, and he doesn’t rush into anything inappropriate. Needless to say that I kinda like him.

After a few days he asked for my Instagram and we shifted there. When we were on Hinge his replies were more consistent, fast and regular, even on weekdays when people are usually busy, but since moving to Instagram his reply times have become erratic — sometimes 15-20 minutes (on weekends), sometimes 2-3 hours, sometimes 10+ hours (like now, he texts in the morning then disappears for 12-13 hours lol). Mine are almost always 15-20 minutes. On a weekend when the conversation was going really well and we were both replying fast, he disappeared for 7-8 hours mid-conversation with no explanation and didn’t acknowledge the gap when he came back.

He’s warm and playful when he does reply — does the self deprecating “I’m not cute” thing in a clearly flirty way, volunteered that he’d been swamped with work without me asking, and steps in with questions when the conversation starts dying. But he hasn’t asked me out yet despite mentioning he’s been on dates with previous Hinge matches.

I deliberately don’t want to ask him out — I have a pattern of taking the lead in past relationships and I’m consciously stepping back from that. I want him to initiate as a signal of genuine interest. But I’m finding myself way too invested already — re-reading old conversations, mood depending on his replies — and I haven’t even met him in person yet.

Is his behaviour a red flag or am I overthinking? Is a week too soon to expect a date mention?

It’s been a while since I last watched a sunset. Was thinking to go alone but wouldn’t mind having a company. If anyone wants to join, comment or dm me.

Sunset time: 7:03 pm

Edit: Change of destination - going to ARAI tekdi now. Planning to meet at Ideal Colony metro station at around 6. From there, we all can climb up together.

Hi all,

If you guys have planned a meetup and can make room for one person more, I’d be more than happy to join. I am 26, work in corporate and have done a lot of meet-ups here.

Let me know in the comments or dm if you have space for one more person.

As the clock struck 12 today, I entered into my late twenties…

Mom didn’t wish me because I was not talking to her the last weekend as she has been controlling my life since childhood and I decided that I am independent now so no one gets to control my life any longer and traumatise my ass. Even if it costs me her not wishing me on my birthday, it’s fine. Me being obedient has costed me entire childhood and teenage and I am not going to give up my adulthood as well to this. Even if it means being the black sheep of the family.

Dad was out of town for an office tour so he might be tired and might be asleep.

There are a few friends I am inviting for dinner tonight but they are not so close that they wish me at midnight.

I got a pastry for myself, got a candle and cut it at 12 to celebrate the birthday, alone in my room. Treated myself with a movie night yesterday as a pre birthday bash. I am fucking self sufficient and hyper independent but for once I want to be like a child again and want a few people to care for me.

That’s it. The end of the story.

As the clock struck 12 today, I entered into my late twenties…

Mom didn’t wish me because I was not talking to her the last weekend as she has been controlling my life since childhood and I decided that I am independent now so no one gets to control my life any longer and traumatise my ass. Even if it costs me her not wishing me on my birthday, it’s fine. Me being obedient has costed me entire childhood and teenage and I am not going to give up my adulthood as well to this. Even if it means being the black sheep of the family.

Dad was out of town for an office tour so he might be tired and might be asleep.

There are a few friends I am inviting for dinner tonight but they are not so close that they wish me at midnight.

I got a pastry for myself, got a candle and cut it at 12 to celebrate the birthday, alone in my room. Treated myself with a movie night yesterday as a pre birthday bash. I am fucking self sufficient and hyper independent but for once I want to be like a child again and want a few people to care for me.

That’s it. The end of the story.

I (25F) genuinely can’t decode my feelings for a guy in my friend group and need honest outside perspective.

For context: I haven’t felt real romantic attraction for anyone in years, so this feels unfamiliar enough that I don’t trust my own interpretation.
He’s very extroverted, socially confident, playful, outgoing, has lots of friends (guys and girls), and is the type who’ll casually ask a girl out if he finds her attractive. Not a playboy, just very direct and socially bold.
I’m basically the opposite — quieter, introverted, more in-my-head.
That difference makes me wonder why someone like him would ever like someone like me.
I’ve known him for 8–9 months. Initially I felt nothing. Whatever this is developed slowly.

A few moments stood out:
He once pointed out that I don’t make eye contact much
Later during cheers, he specifically made me look into his eyes because “it doesn’t count otherwise”
Once I was blushing while talking to him, he instantly noticed and questioned it, then smoothly changed the topic
He made tissue paper roses for me during a meetup, and later brought them back when I forgot them
Biggest one: we ended up properly partner-dancing at a club (holding hands, spinning, him leading, physical closeness, eye contact)

That dance completely messed with my head.
I wasn’t drunk.
I was fully conscious and insanely present.
It felt *so good* that I still replay it constantly.
It felt intimate, calm, and I didn’t want it to end.
In that moment, it felt obvious that I liked him.
But then I go home, a few days pass, and it almost feels like the attraction disappears.

Then if I replay those moments in my head, especially the dance, all the feelings come back.
I also catch myself missing him sometimes — like if I randomly got 5 minutes to just see him and talk to him, it would genuinely make my day.
And when I imagine closeness with him, it doesn’t feel chaotic or lustful.
It feels soft and peaceful — sitting near him, holding hands, quiet closeness.
That’s what’s confusing me most.
So:
Is this an actual crush forming?
Am I over-romanticizing a few intense moments because I haven’t felt attraction in so long?
Is this just “in-the-moment chemistry” that I’m replaying too much?
Brutally honest takes appreciated.
(Used AI to help organize this because my thoughts were all over the place.)

I (25F) genuinely can’t decode my feelings for a guy in my friend group and need honest outside perspective.

For context: I haven’t felt real romantic attraction for anyone in years, so this feels unfamiliar enough that I don’t trust my own interpretation.
He’s very extroverted, socially confident, playful, outgoing, has lots of friends (guys and girls), and is the type who’ll casually ask a girl out if he finds her attractive. Not a playboy, just very direct and socially bold.
I’m basically the opposite — quieter, introverted, more in-my-head.
That difference makes me wonder why someone like him would ever like someone like me.
I’ve known him for 8–9 months. Initially I felt nothing. Whatever this is developed slowly.

A few moments stood out:
He once pointed out that I don’t make eye contact much
Later during cheers, he specifically made me look into his eyes because “it doesn’t count otherwise”
Once I was blushing while talking to him, he instantly noticed and questioned it, then smoothly changed the topic
He made tissue paper roses for me during a meetup, and later brought them back when I forgot them
Biggest one: we ended up properly partner-dancing at a club (holding hands, spinning, him leading, physical closeness, eye contact)

That dance completely messed with my head.
I wasn’t drunk.
I was fully conscious and insanely present.
It felt so good that I still replay it constantly.
It felt intimate, calm, and I didn’t want it to end.
In that moment, it felt obvious that I liked him.
But then I go home, a few days pass, and it almost feels like the attraction disappears.

Then if I replay those moments in my head, especially the dance, all the feelings come back.
I also catch myself missing him sometimes — like if I randomly got 5 minutes to just see him and talk to him, it would genuinely make my day.
And when I imagine closeness with him, it doesn’t feel chaotic or lustful.
It feels soft and peaceful — sitting near him, holding hands, quiet closeness.
That’s what’s confusing me most.
So:
Is this an actual crush forming?
Am I over-romanticizing a few intense moments because I haven’t felt attraction in so long?
Is this just “in-the-moment chemistry” that I’m replaying too much?
Brutally honest takes appreciated.
(Used AI to help organize this because my thoughts were all over the place.)

I (25F) genuinely can’t decode my feelings for a guy in my friend group and need honest outside perspective.

For context: I haven’t felt real romantic attraction for anyone in years, so this feels unfamiliar enough that I don’t trust my own interpretation.
He’s very extroverted, socially confident, playful, outgoing, has lots of friends (guys and girls), and is the type who’ll casually ask a girl out if he finds her attractive. Not a playboy, just very direct and socially bold.
I’m basically the opposite — quieter, introverted, more in-my-head.
That difference makes me wonder why someone like him would ever like someone like me.
I’ve known him for 8–9 months. Initially I felt nothing. Whatever this is developed slowly.

A few moments stood out:
He once pointed out that I don’t make eye contact much
Later during cheers, he specifically made me look into his eyes because “it doesn’t count otherwise”
Once I was blushing while talking to him, he instantly noticed and questioned it, then smoothly changed the topic
He made tissue paper roses for me during a meetup, and later brought them back when I forgot them
Biggest one: we ended up properly partner-dancing at a club (holding hands, spinning, him leading, physical closeness, eye contact)

That dance completely messed with my head.
I wasn’t drunk.
I was fully conscious and insanely present.
It felt *so good* that I still replay it constantly.
It felt intimate, calm, and I didn’t want it to end.
In that moment, it felt obvious that I liked him.
But then I go home, a few days pass, and it almost feels like the attraction disappears.

Then if I replay those moments in my head, especially the dance, all the feelings come back.
I also catch myself missing him sometimes — like if I randomly got 5 minutes to just see him and talk to him, it would genuinely make my day.
And when I imagine closeness with him, it doesn’t feel chaotic or lustful.
It feels soft and peaceful — sitting near him, holding hands, quiet closeness.
That’s what’s confusing me most.
So:
Is this an actual crush forming?
Am I over-romanticizing a few intense moments because I haven’t felt attraction in so long?
Is this just “in-the-moment chemistry” that I’m replaying too much?
Brutally honest takes appreciated.
(Used AI to help organize this because my thoughts were all over the place.)

I genuinely don’t know how time passed this fast. It feels like I just graduated college, and suddenly I’m almost in my late 20s.

On paper, my life is “fine.” I have a stable job at a good company, and I know people would say I should be grateful for that. But I’m not where I thought I’d be by this age.

Career-wise, I always imagined I’d be at a better place by now — earning more, growing faster, maybe working at one of those companies I used to dream about while studying in college. I know I’m capable of more, but switching jobs in tech feels overwhelming now. The bar feels insanely high. With AI changing everything and interviews expecting you to know what feels like literally everything, preparing while working full-time feels exhausting and impossible sometimes.

And then there’s my personal life.

I thought by this age I’d have found my person — someone I could actually plan a future with, think about marriage with, build something stable with. Instead, I’m 26 and I don’t even have a boyfriend, and that uncertainty scares me more than I’d like to admit.

Meanwhile, it feels like everyone around me has their life figured out. People are getting engaged, getting married, switching to amazing jobs, moving forward.

And I’m just… here. Stuck. Watching time pass and feeling like I somehow missed the train.

I know comparison is unhealthy, but it’s hard not to feel like I’m losing at life.

Did anyone else feel like this in their mid-20s?

Did things eventually work out for you — career-wise, relationship-wise, life-wise?

And if they did, how did you get through this weird phase where everything feels uncertain and everyone else seems ahead?

I genuinely don’t know how time passed this fast. It feels like I just graduated college, and suddenly I’m almost in my late 20s.

On paper, my life is “fine.” I have a stable job at a good company, and I know people would say I should be grateful for that. But I’m not where I thought I’d be by this age.

Career-wise, I always imagined I’d be at a better place by now — earning more, growing faster, maybe working at one of those companies I used to dream about while studying in college. I know I’m capable of more, but switching jobs in tech feels overwhelming now. The bar feels insanely high. With AI changing everything and interviews expecting you to know what feels like literally everything, preparing while working full-time feels exhausting and impossible sometimes.

And then there’s my personal life.

I thought by this age I’d have found my person — someone I could actually plan a future with, think about marriage with, build something stable with. Instead, I’m 26 and I don’t even have a boyfriend, and that uncertainty scares me more than I’d like to admit.

Meanwhile, it feels like everyone around me has their life figured out. People are getting engaged, getting married, switching to amazing jobs, moving forward.

And I’m just… here. Stuck. Watching time pass and feeling like I somehow missed the train.

I know comparison is unhealthy, but it’s hard not to feel like I’m losing at life.

Did anyone else feel like this in their mid-20s?

Did things eventually work out for you — career-wise, relationship-wise, life-wise?

And if they did, how did you get through this weird phase where everything feels uncertain and everyone else seems ahead?