u/briarbree

im sincerely asking because i did recieve that kind of message from someone i havent talked nor have seen in quite a long time. i want to tell the truth to ppl who may ask but without rlly going into the specifics because im also a very private person who wants to deal with personal things privately without having to worry much about other people' thoughts or reactions.

im going through a bunch of issues from more than one mental health disorder combined with grief. im rlly wondering what term could i use to let them know im not really doing good or well without being too dark or too intense. should i say simply 'not fine' or maybe 'im currently not in the right headspace', idk can anyone help me out? i want to word it better without it being a super heavy news on them, just enough for them to take a hint that im going through a tough tine mentally and emotionally.

edit: also one of the reasons im having a tough time telling the truth is because all my life im used to masking and these ppl dont know a single thing about it. its one of the reasons why i recieve so much unnecessary expectation from ppl.

what should i do if i feel like wanting to be gone but cant do self harm?

i have no one. i have a loving family that unfortunately invalidates my mental health. i rarely open up with ppl outside my family. i have a hard time trusting especially that ive been disappointed so many times. family arguments don't end up well especially when i voice out my sufferings. and i know for a fact the ppl around me dont have enough sensitivity and awareness needed to understand someone going through something mentally. ive been for many times disrespected, invalidated, and misunderstood. they know i deal with something serious but literally the people in my country aren't that open or exposed enough to what's really going on with ppl suffering from mental health disorder/s.

i cant simply kms for many reasons, one me being a coward so im left just being miserable. i feel like im stuck with nothing just raw suffering day by day. in my country there's not much resources and good doctors too. i have had a not so good experience with medication before and so nothing currently works. i cant do anything. while a lot of ppl release through self harming i believe i cant do the sane for my case. yes i have thoughts of just being gone out of exhaustion and frustration but im the kind of person who doesn't like pain. i cant bear to cut myself and i cant bear the shame and disappointment that the people around me would feel once i do that. so what should i do? because im rlly rlly confused if there's anything i can do except think about how miserable i am every minute.

currently still catching up my lots and lots of backlogs and tbh im not quite sure kung kakayanin mag take but just incase iniisip ko lang gaano katagal ba ang pag process balak ko kasi wag muna isipin for now kasi naaanxious ako :(

im just rlly frustrated right now. its ruining my life. what are your thoughts and experiences about medication for executive dysfunction? im very frustrated and hesitant because i also suffer from ocd, tricho, social anxiety, and idk about depression but it feels like for the past year. im scared that one pill may have a negative effect on my other issues. im just very very desperate because i wanna study and focus but something's clearly wrong with myself and its making me rlly loath myself and idk what to do with it.

one of my old HOs include the discussion for accounting for consignment when merged ba lahat ng consignees to determine profit or determined separately for each. the latter uses consignment in and out accounts. im just confused kasi sa current rc ko hindi na to namention.

upon my current rc discussion, basta RTA daw from the signing of contract nagsstart ang revenue recognition so pag jan 1 yung contract signing wala ng allocation. but upon my old rc HOs there are problems stating 'when the license was provided or started to run' and dun nagsisimula yung revenue recognition rather than the contract signing date which is earlier. ano po bang tama? hehe

has anyone used this product before? im looking for a shampoo to use on normal showers as someone who recently got my hair colored in purple. okay ba talaga tong product na to for fashion colors?

if you have any ideas please let me know im rlly confused now whether to buy purple shampoo or this one.

is there any effect if you just charge it up to whatever percentage?

is this a good thing? lmao. there are times i try to like put my tweezers away from my near reach so i did that the other day. now im having a bad itch to pull TT i suffer from ocd like apart from tricho i have tons of themes and compulsions and i risked my rituals to stand the fcking up but i couldn't find my tweezers and now im going crazy. im thinking i should just accept it and keep the urge in me. but srsly what do you guys do?

do forcing myself to not pull rlly helps because as much as i want to stop and heal from all of this madness i genuinely think even after trying not to pull for days or weeks I'd still end up one day giving in. im actually tired of this cycle. it takes so much of my time. if i dont pull i pick on my scalp CONSTANTLY like my head is just full of the aftermaths of picking scabs.

when ppl think ocd is just a fancy adjective but truthfully it's literally a life-long misery disorder TT

feel ko kasi ambagal ng progress ko. gusto ko naman i-straight na tapusin yung videos per topic pero nag b-break time kasi talaga ako every each other video/s (diko knows kung overload ba ang reason or yung katamaran huhu) tapos hindi consistent yung tagal ng break minsan medyo natatagalan huhu. isang topic lang yan ha and it would take me like 2 or 3 days huhu. for context particularly sa FAR po, marami kasing subtopics per topic. fellow reviewees paano niyo tinatapos isang topic efficiently? or baka it's a me problem lang talaga ito huhu

nakaka overwhelm yung andaming na cocover ng iba in one day concepts plus practice pa tapos wala pa ngang practice yung sakin (only HOs and vidlects) pero antagal parin maka usad.

ako lang ba yung may parent na pag walang arguments icocomfort ka sa mga bagay na pinag dadaanan mo like for ex., sasabihan ka ng 'okay lang yan nak kaya mo yan itry mo lang' when it comes to academic matters tapos pag galit siya or may argument bigla nalang isusumbat sayo lahat ng kapalyaan mo sa buhay. i thought she meant the genuine words and comfort pero lumalabas rin yung totoo niyang feelings towards the situation na nakaka disappoint ako.

tapos pag may argument of course triggered ang lahat pero yung choice of words niya nakaka panakit na parang tipong sinusumpa ka niya which is very bad for my ocd pero wala eh ganun yung tabas ng dila niya. may times din on a normal day na kinakausap nila ako regarding my mental health crisis tapos parang on the verge of understanding naman sila pero AGAIN pag galit yung nanay ko natatawag niya akong "baliw" and stuff like that, yung parang at the end of the day di pa rin pala nila ako gets. yung parang tinotolerate lang nila ako and my issues pero hindi wholly understood and accepted. idk if that's just because of the angriness pero masakit pa rin on my part because ako i dont say things below the belt kahit marami din akong pagkakamali and lapses.

wala i just ranted off kasi nakaka frustrate at nakakalungkot on my part. i think about losing myself every other day. ang hirap din na pinipilit mong gumising everyday kahit lugmok ka. i know im not currently in my best state pero sinusubukan kong bumangon pero to hear very offensive crushing words really don't do me good lalo na at galing sa isang taong you expect to choose better terms during an argument. we can argue naman without going below the belt eh. yun lang gusto kong irant. grabe yung tabas ng dila ng iba basta galit, sobrang nakakasakit.

I don't even know what to say here. I feel so defeated by life. Alam mo yung sinasabi karamihan na 'I'm in a bad place right now', ganun ako only that I've been in that bad place for over a year already. I've always had to deal with mh disorders on a daily basis kahit pa noon but it's different now, over one year nonstop. I'd have happy, laughing days occasionally, but I always find myself in despair at the end of the day. I recently lost a loved one and grief could destroy anyone, and I wouldn't compare because this thing is really sensitive and subjective. Gusto ko lang sabihin it's not easy to experience loss while already dealing with other conditions. I can't even grief normally and properly because I'm not normal. And it's getting really tiring. Andami kong iniisip. Andami kong pino-problema sa buhay. I'm only in my early 20s. I feel it's too young of an age to lose a parent. On top of that, I am expected to live my life forward and continue with my studies and career kasi life goes on daw sabi nila. But I just can't seem to do that kahit gusto. Gusto ko din bumangon. I really want to do my best, but at this point, I don't even know what's wrong with me anymore. Naghalo-halo na yung issues ko (I'm clinically diagnosed for one mh disorder years ago, but I deal with more inaddress lang yung isa na major issue ko back at the time), and now I don't know what to do. Never went back for professional help because I had issues with the meds plus wala gaanong resources and magagaling na doctors sa amin (or sa bansa natin wholly).

It feels like I'm just stuck here on my own living the same day everyday and there's no escape other than deluding myself to believe that living is a punishment I must accept for all my sins or falling into self-harm ideation. I feel sad for myself. It feels like I'm mourning everything in life. At times, I try to convince myself that I'm gonna do everything I need to in this life because I'm used to juggling things all my life, but grief was really the cherry on top of my icing of issues. I feel more broken and dead inside as time passes. Tapos andami pang new daily challenges sa buhay ng pamilya ko (ano 'to laro). So one time, just one time, out of frustration which I don't usually do, I told my mom that I felt tired already. I rarely share, but this time I felt the sudden urge to just say that. But she took it the wrong way. Sabi niya ang weak ko daw tapos lawakan ko daw yung pag-iisip ko. I don't know how to react to that but I was hurt, not surprised though. Kahit mahal ko pamilya ko and they utmostly take care of me which I'm very thankful of, I never felt seen and understood in regards to my mental health. Despite everything, they still support me naman, in ways they can. But during these times na im desperate to hold on unto something hopeful, I really feel defeated kasi parang all this time hindi pa rin talaga nila ako gets.

I told her I won't be able to wake up and show up everyday if I was weak. Yung gumising lang is a big thing already for me but they don't understand that. Kasi kahit alam kong lugmok na lugmok na ako I still try to think that I'm not weak kahit sa maliliit lang na bagay. Kaya it hurts. Tapos dyan na lumalabas yung issue about kesyo kulang sa dasal, kesyo may bad energy sa bahay. Nakaka frustrate lang kasi I do what I can occasionally to spread awareness on mental health pero at the end of the day dasal at masamang enerhiya pa rin yung nananaig sakanya. And even writing this now makes me feel bad, alam kong I have so many lapses as a child pero masama ba akong anak to vent my frustration about this? Ako ba talaga yung masama? I just wanted to tell her the truth kasi ang bigat na din but this is what I get. Worst thing I feel na ako pa rin yung masama. Bakit ba kasi hindi ko nalang tinikom yung bibig ko and let the day pass, diba? I don't know, right now I just feel so lost in the moment. I've never fantasized about wanting to be gone, I guess I never took that seriously no matter how hard life was, especially during the pandemic. But this time, the thought of just following my father keeps on persisting. Hanggang ideation lang naman because I've always known I'm a coward. I couldn't do that and I wouldn't even know how. And I don't want to break my mother's heart. Pero kahit pa anong mangyari the truth still remains that I'm in misery right now.

this is prolly gonna be difficult since i remember only few details > there's this guy and girl i think they're friends and they used to trespass like climb the gates of a place they often visit/trespass which is closed at night time. im thinking church but im not sure. they hang out there, talk and i guess also drink? > there's another scene aeound the end where the girl was wearing a white ball dress/gown it's like she's supposed to be somewhere but chose to go to that hang out place but i cannot remember if the guy was there when she came.

does it ring any bell?

there are other fragments of details i remember but im not even sure if it's the same movie but just in case > i think the girl wanted to be an actress and she got the opportunity to be afterwards. i think this became a challenge between her and the guy.

ive watched this prolly early 2000s cinemaone days. if you have guesses please help me i badly want to remember this movie!

im registering for like an online class and there's a zoom webinar for it. to register it asks for my first and last name as well as email etc. my concern is i already have a display name on my zoom account. does the first and last name i register for the webinar the one that will be shown as my name as participant during meetings?