u/burnetrosehip

I absolutely understand that working life is highly demanding for many these days.

I have a long term chronic fatigue illness myself so I personally am no metric- and I'm also particularly concerned about people being affected by post viral fatigue, based on my own experience. So I'm wondering about incidences of Long Covid, and the overall effects of repeat Covid infections, and how government might track health data on an elusive mystery condition wherein people get bloody exhausted and it doesn't go away, but they kind of manage to keep going and/ or don't get a diagnosis? I thought it might just be my little corner of the world and age group, but I've heard comedians etc saying everyone is exhausted now, too, and am curious about how we would collectively know if there was a quiet medical epidemic.

It's for a poem so a bit of leeway to play with, but also don't just want it to look like an error.

Example:

"What (he means objects, things)

do you want

to come of all this?"

/

"What" (he means objects, things)

"do you want

to come of all this?"

I know that ordinarily there would be no brackets, only closing and reopening of quotation marks, but it's a theme in the poem's construction. I don't know if there is a rule for this, as not sure if the brackets are ever correct usage here in the first place, but I'm insisting on those and trying to decide the least clunky construction for the speech marks.

This is not the actual text of the poem, but it's grammatically equivalent. The content of the brackets is intended to cause pause for the reader in the original, but not imply pause in the quoted speech.

Just that, although bonus appreciation for somewhere with good cachaça and/or nearby parking! Thank you!

Thanks to those who recommended where to start with the audio. The sleep timer on audible didn't work, so I've just spent 6 hours with Alan coming in my ears (crossover tribute to Phoenix Nights). It didn't matter what I said to him, he just kept droning on and on about his kitchen flooring.

I told him I knew he couldn't help it because of his neurotype, but I was going to have to leave him. He was briefly dismayed, but soon started up about the kitchen fit again, once we had visitors. Sympathies for Carol.

After whining on about needing to listen to Alan Partridge (following intense insistence from a friend about From the Oasthouse), and a dream in which Steve Coogan refused to sleep with me because he's "over all that", my beloved partner has gifted me an audible credit to shut me up.

So, dear fans, should I start at the beginning with I, Partridge? Or what?

Of course I want him to lose to a witty bin. An actual wheelie bin as MP would be better for Clacton and the country than him.

But it just occurred to me- would losing be a nice way for him to dodge the process that would hold him accountable for the money he took from the crypto billionaire in Thailand (who, in case anyone didn't know yet, also gave private jet flights to Boris when he, his then Home Secretary Suella Braverman and Minister of Immigration Robert Jenrick were overseeing the Boriswave of non-EU immigration)?

Here's my very fresh example that we are still both stinging over, because I handled it badly, but I'm interested in general as I don't feel I've had very healthy relationships historically.

I have a chronic illness that leads to post exertion crashes where I can't function. Am in a big one at the moment after travelling with my partner (and my family for some of the time- so, partner gave that to me). My body yesterday, after three days of sinking gradually, hit the big I MUST SLEEP FOR A LONG TIME mode. However, my friend is coming next week and after months in which we haven't got round to it, my partner was up early yesterday deciding to fix up the room we are gonna move into when she comes, because my teen who used to live here left the walls covered in angry graffiti.

I can't do it, my body won't have it. I had offered months ago to pay him half the price of a decorator on a day off for him, but he didn't want money. Of course he has done it in his own time- he works hard when he's at work, so I've respected his leisure time for his own pursuits when off.

So, essentially, although he was very kindly in "you rest I'll do it" mode, he also needed various info and interaction from me over the first 4 hours of the day, and my attempts to keep sleeping didn't wash. I got up completely unable to function on a basic level and in the kind of bad mood your body would be in if you were woken at 2am with the flu- like I could cry with exhaustion type thing. Plus I couldn't do anything further to be involved because the day started too early for me so I wasn't functioning. Tough shit, right? And I was distant and shitty all day because I was struggling to just exist. And he, of course, felt hurt, cold shouldered and unappreciated.

I am now today wired up and not resting after our talks and his upset about it leaned into the night- like most women I know, I don't fall asleep as easily as him, and am now back in adrenaline mode because of the rift between us and worry. I'm a shitbag no doubt, he feels like this is a big thing and I have to respect that, I feel like I just have to begin the cycle again and get rest at some point. I'm in recovery from a 5 year caring role that was very stressful regardless of my underlying state, and he and I are spending much more time together than we were able to before so I'm simultaneously learning how to be in a relationship.

Are you all better than me at sucking it up and being a decent, civil adult? What happens in relationships when body stressors and needs get in the way of friendly, upbeat, considerate interaction? Do you just not let that happen? I know that new parents together have to go through major exhaustion and being at cross purposes, except in this case there is no precious new life to look after, only my stupid tired carcass and our existence.

I personally am probably of the roll eyes, call the other person an asshole and chalk it up to bad moods approach, but he is understandably feeling more serious about it, like I didn't see his need for connection and reassurance (I think I'm putting that right) and this is a significant issue.

By his own admission, I'm not generally moody and he probably has more frequent bad moods than me. I'd agree, but he communicates often through his bad moods that it's not me. I personally don't need that more than once, I know it's not me and am just internally disappointed when there's a bad mood on a good day, but such is life. Whereas I failed to communicate properly beyond "I needed to sleep and I didn't, and now I can't function" because I was in the state where if I spoke or engaged much I'd cry or yell. Ridiculous, but my self regulation was out the window.

WWYD??

I have a hot water bottle in the fridge, and a bottle of mint spray in there too. All of the windows and both doors are open, including the one onto the street, trying to cool the house down before it goes nuts again tomorrow (thank gawd for this mild breeze). I need not comment on the minimal clothing being worn, enough to stop people passing the front door from getting upset. The fans are currently keeping the smart meter feeling like it still has a job. And this absolutely not right in the head wild man who, may I point out to you all since I already did to him three times, has a heat rash, is currently having a bath hot enough to shrink your clothes.

Is this in any way normal behaviour? Is this a sex thing (I mean man Vs woman temperature regulation, not like a carry on up the combi situation)? Should I be consulting a professional?

I'm trying to recreate (lol not a hope but I'm trying) an amuse bouche from a high end restaurant that included a "flapjack"- a layer of very thin but robust cracker. I've tried making very thin oatcakes but they were still too thick, I'm wondering if adding more butter will be what allows me to roll them even thinner, or more water and lots of flour to roll- anyone any ideas??

I'm trying to buy gifts for my partner, who used to do a bit of woodworking and now has a space at mine he can use to get back into it, but no equipment. I've got him an old cast iron lathe and some chisels from a great local guy, he had mentioned wanting a router at some point, but I literally have no idea what does what and if buying a palm router alongside the lathe is as random as buying one sock and a whisk, or if they go together like two socks/ a sieve and a bowl?!?

We don't even have a vice. What would be your next (budget) purchase after acquiring a lathe?

I realised it isn't universal when moved location and heard "wagging" instead. I recently learned that skiving's used in leatherwork meaning to take small shavings off, which I'm guessing is related to where the not working when you're meant to be meaning comes from. I'll be asking r/etymology

But I have positive associations with it from way back (anyone else?), and am just curious where we say it, or what people say instead?

Please comment with area :)

Hey, wavy haired person here with mid life frizz and some blonde highlights. Haven't blowdried my hair in... I can't remember, years anyway! I did it once to straighten and it is not bouncing back the same since, I'm using same techniques and products as always- protein shampoo, leave in conditioner, curl cream etc. Will doing treatments actually make a difference or have I really just damaged my hair from one blow dry session?? TIA

I'm a 5 mins max makeup applier and the right BB cream can improve my life, but I've only found 1.5 of them that match my skin tone and blur a bit without seeming to emphasise every hair and wrinkle on my middle aged face (peach fuzz lol, if I found a peach with hairs this long I'd buy it some cat food). I'm fair cool/neutral. Absolutely cannot do foundation, don't have the budget to seek a holy grail by trying 100s/ taking someone's recx for Clinique or something.

The recent BBs that *didn't* work were Nivea light (too brown), and an elf one that even after an extensive online colour matching quiz went on like yellow paint.

What worked was a Lacura thing from Aldi, not orangey at all, nice pore blur, neither too matt or too shiny, and the .5 is for a Rimmel colour corrector which would be fine if it worked on its own, but being green left me looking a bit pale.

Aldi aren't doing theirs any more. I don't mind it not being right if it doesn't cost much to try. Any surprising finds out there?

All I need is a perennial, low or mid height with a medium spread, think true geranium in terms of size and also its preferred soil type (somewhat acidic clay, roses thrive), tolerates semi shade, winter frost and occasional drought, fierce enough at outcompeting e.g. dock with a little help, flowers prettily for as long as possible, ideally bees like it.

Am I looking for a unicorn, or any ideas? Novice gardener here. I can water it if I have to.

Having just learned that (*edit, actual, not net) immigration was down 31% in 2025, returns and deportations up 9%, and that Labour pledged to "smash the gangs" behind small boats I am genuinely confused about how/ why this is happening, what am I missing?

This might sound like a biased question, but the fact that (disclosure) I see Reform's focus on immigration as a likely smokescreen does not mean that I have a position on immigration overall. I know that many successive governments have made loud noises about it for many years while also relying on it to shore up their version economics. I am not angry at individual people who have migrated to make a better life for themselves or escape war/persecution. That's my whole position. I'm not looking for an argument about immigration, as if we need more of those. I'm genuinely confused about these statistics that I've just learned (from another thread) vs people's anger at Labour on immigration. Is it founded in actual policy and facts, or is it just based on an image of the left as being somehow weak? If it's the latter, how do we get politics back to being based on actual outcomes rather than just angry reacts?

My confusion is how we seem to have just had a local government election dictated by a protest vote on immigration when the current government, frustrating as they are, are bringing down immigration. Should Labour have been putting up big posters with these stats on them in heartland areas with "next question?" after them if they wanted to hold onto voters? Or am I being hopelessly simplistic- about the issue or about how people think?

I am in the mood for some snark. Also it's just pretty fascinating.

Have encountered some of the deeper dive into critiquing therapy as a culture stuff with Bayo Akomolafe, (who will no doubt have his own pitfalls as every revelatory groundbreaker seems to at some point), and read researchgate back and forths about the legitimacy or otherwise of polyvagal theory, but the life coach world I have not touched, and I am open to anything from entertaining to enlightening, single "coach"/ influencer focus or wider aim at the culture, all welcome.

Big respect to our severely fatigued meeps who don't have this choice, to start with. I'm moderate mostly, and today I had a day in bed Doomscrolling. Surely there was something more productive or even enjoyable I could be doing, and I was just making bad choices? No, no there was not, and I was not, really. If I had tried to do more I would have rapidly been reminded why I was not doing more. Maybe lying down listening to relaxation noises would have been better. But overall, nobody is morally impacted by my choice, so WHY IS IT STILL AN ISSUE with me after 20 + years of this?

Mantra: it's ok to rest and chill, it's ok to rest and chill, I can count my blessings that I'm able to rest and chill! But apparently my brain can't do it on its restless own, so I'm making a post for anyone else who resonates to say hi and help me remember it's not my choice to have this energy limit. Thank you ❤️