u/cabbage-soup

I’m looking to transition to a new team within my company. The pay is better and it would be a title promotion so already it’s a no brainer to move teams. However I suspect my manager is trying to make a case for my promotion and increased pay behind to scenes to keep me on my current team. If I receive a counter offer, I’m a little torn on what to do.

I am a well respected designer in my current sector of the business. I have a lot of great rapport. I’m in a situation where I can mostly do whatever I want because I’ve built this respect. I also work on a fairly stable product with minimal layoff risk. It’s a niche and well established product in the market. Also a HUGE money maker. But the product itself has horrible UX, which theoretically should mean I have a lot of exciting work, but the reason for the horrible UX is primarily related to the framework the product is built on. This has been the biggest challenge for our sector for the business and it’s become increasingly frustrating as I’m asked to work on projects that I know are terrible UX because the technical constraints do not support the vision we are being asked to execute.

Additionally, over the past 5 years I’ve only worked on 1 project that’s been released to customers. And the part of the project that I worked on has not been used, at all. Nobody likes it. When doing usability testing we constantly get bad feedback and discover bugs. This isn’t a design issue, it’s an engineering problem with the framework. I can only do so much with the constraints we have, and every time I raise a flag about the constraints I’m told we don’t have the engineering hours to improve it. To provide an example of limitations, we can’t even build a “select all” checkbox. The framework is not dynamic or interactive. It was not originally created to support UI and now it’s the direction the company is asking us to go. I’m ashamed that this is the only released product my name is attached to. I’ve worked on a lot of other projects that are on a slightly better framework in the system and have very positive feedback during testing, but their slated release is the end of 2027 with delays highly likely. Others are on versions for 2028+. And these were projects I did 2+ years ago.. The slow release cycle makes it difficult to know how to iterate and make improvements to my designs. I feel blind with every new feature.

The new team I’d be transition to works on a different product built with a MUCH better framework. But they definitely have higher layoff risk. They act quick and have made some mistakes that led to failed products and laid off teams to start with a fresh perspective. That said, the work actually gets released. In general, the quicker release cycle would help me grow as a designer because I’d be able to track the success of a designed feature and make iterations. The work also would be able to be presented in a portfolio because it’s actually released. In the event that I did get laid off, I feel like I’d be a much stronger candidate for new roles.

I’m just torn about leaving my current team. The increased pay is worth the layoff risk, but if my team gives me a counter offer to stay I’m just not sure if it’s the right move. I know the job market is horrible right now. So being laid off in a year or two would be terrible. But I worry my current team is not providing me growth as a designer and if things do go downhill then I’d be in a worse situation by staying.

For those who’ve been in similar situations, would you take the stable but stagnant job? Or go for a risk that would produce more tangible work and offer more growth?

We bought our home last year and have had a lot of issues with our shower drain clogging. We have tried every hair catcher on the market and stuff still gets through and causes us to need to snake every 2-3 weeks. No where else I’ve lived has been this bad. The apartment we lived in before this home needed a snake maybe three times a year.

Does anyone have any suggestions for a long term solution? Both my husband and I dread the snake…

Looking for a new job for the first time in awhile and I’ve made it past screening for one place that I feel good about. There are 3 additional interviews after screening. The 1st was a portfolio review where I had to make a presentation of one specific project to dive into. Which great, makes sense. I passed that and now discovered the remaining 2 interviews are also presentations..

Is this normal in the field? I don’t necessarily mind it but it’s definitely a bit of stress to scramble together a catered presentation, practice, time myself, etc in under a week while also doing my day job. I also was hoping to have more opportunities to ask the team questions rather than the other way around.

I would be working remote living in ET but hours are in PT. So I’d be online roughly 12pm-8pm. If I didn’t have kids this would be a no brainer.. but currently my baby’s bedtime is between 6:30-7:30. In a dream world I would pass this duty onto dad, but my son is breastfed.. so you can imagine it’s difficult. Would my baby adjust if I started waking him up later? (I mean… he’s up 5-6am most days naturally 😭). Has anyone else made it work on these hours?

I would be doubling my salary BTW

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In the upstairs of our home it smells like a mix of fish and sweat. It’s the second day. Yesterday it was just a light …aroma… just in the hall. Today, it’s gotten stronger and now our bedroom is smelling too. When googling it, we saw electrical can smell fishy when it’s a fire risk. It’s actually smelling right above where we redid a bathroom fan, so we thought that could be it. We had the fire department come inspect everything and they gave us the clear. We did take down the fan and taped up the electrical and are getting an electrician out just in case… but it still smells. Maybe even gotten stronger in the brief hour since then.

Before we got the fire department here my husband did go up in the attic to rule out a dead animal. He saw nothing. No signs of any animal getting trapped etc. Also said it did not smell up there.

It makes no sense.

We do have two cats. But it doesn’t smell like cat pee or cat poop, both of which are very distinct smells to me. My husband says it smells like they pooped, peed, bled, sweat, and cum all at once :| He just wants to blame the cats but the smell really doesn’t seem like it’s from them. To me that sounds like a dead animal but again we can’t find anything. And it’s just in this one area and only the air that smells. I crawled along the floor sniffing and nothing stood out. Nothing on the walls is smelling. Also the bathroom we redid doesn’t smell either.

Any other suggestions of what it could be?

I current work in product design but have an opportunity to switch to product management. Honestly, my skillset lends me well to the career switch and I think it would open more opportunities than staying on the design side. I am a little worried though since I have an infant at home, and my husband and I are only getting started with kids. I do want some years in between, but what I’m saying is that my house will only get busier with time and I have many years ahead of breastfeeding and sleepless nights.

The product managers I work with now are always very busy. And when they are out on parental leave, it’s very stressful. I’m sure they are swamped when they return. The role I’m considering is a different company, so the culture could be different. But I worry about work life balance if I made the switch. Right now I work 8-4. I’m very punctual. I have seniority at my company so I have no issue setting boundaries and denying meetings outside of my work hours. If I have a meeting at 3pm I will leave it early by 3:45 to have time to wrap up my day. My days also vary. I don’t mind meetings, I often enjoy working with others and collaborating. Though during my pregnancy and now with breastfeeding, a busy day isn’t as enjoyable as it once was. Some days I have nothing on my calendar and I’ll WFH, get my work done quickly, and take time for chores. I’m guessing that won’t be an option as a PM and that I will have packed days. I also have to be in office 4 days a week, whereas my current company I can do as many or as little in office days as I’d like.

Another thing to consider, I believe we’d be able to afford a house cleaner with my new salary. That could be a big help. Alternatively, my husband could choose to be a SAHD, though I think he would be a good fit since he HATES office life, he is in denial about having that be an option.

In my current role, this kind of salary I might be able to get in 2-3 years or so. So it’s not like by not making the switch that I’d be killing our wealth opportunities. Though having that growth now certainly would be more impactful for my family. We’d be saving over $2k/mo until our next kid comes around (well, assuming no house cleaner too lol).

I guess I’m curious on advice here. If we didn’t have kids, this switch would be a no brainer.

I’ve had this happen to me a few times- a recruiter reaches out and informs me of a role at a company, after a brief call they tell me they’re passing my info along to so and so, who’s the hiring manager at the company. Every time I look up this person on LinkedIn… I could very easily reach out directly myself. But should I? Is there etiquette around this? Is it weird? Is it actually beneficial?

If there wasn’t a recruiter involved normally I would try and find the hiring manager and reach out after I sent my application, but I’m not sure if the etiquette changes with recruiters involved.

I’m located in the Midwest US and mid level in my career.

My baby almost certainly has HFM. We are going to the doctor in a few hours. Anyways both me and my husband work full time. I have severe eczema with constantly open blisters on my hands. I have a feeling I am already doomed as I cannot wash my hands properly to protect myself. My husband cannot WFH and does not have much PTO. I am very nervous what will happen if we get this. Baby is down BAD. Not eating. Constantly crying. The spots are spreading. Any advice on how we can brace ourselves for what’s to come?

My current job is often referred to as a “unicorn”. Fully flexible hybrid work environment, choose your own hours, can be fully remote or in office. True unlimited PTO, averages are over 25 days a year. A great manager. The work itself is ok. Very low stress. Deadlines always get delayed so it feels like they basically don’t exist. The pay is about on par for this environment, all things considered. Though for my industry as a whole, it’s a bit low. My company certainly has options for long term growth, but it is REALLY difficult to make an impact. From me to the CEO of the company is like 7-8 layers of managers. Everything moves very slowly.

As a mom, my job is pretty good. When I had a horrible pregnancy I was able to WFH for 3 months straight with no problems. I can take PTO whenever I need to handle sickness / last minute childcare plans / etc. Low stress I’m sure is a positive too. TBH there are a lot of days when I WFH I am just scrolling Reddit or watching YouTube etc.

Anyways I have a new opportunity that came up at a mature startup. It’s a 20% raise with a 10% annual bonus. Very tempting given the recent costs of having a child with daycare etc. The biggest downside is that it’s 4 days in office, their unlimited PTO was a 15-20 day average, and the startup environment COULD involve more stress. It’s faster paced for sure, but I also feel like you see the outcomes of your work more. I am not sure how stressful working there could be.

The main thing that intrigues me is potentially having the opportunity to get in to the startup at a good time.. I joined my current company really right after its peak “golden” years. We were sold and acquired shortly after, the culture and what not is ok, but it’s definitely not the same place it was when I started 4 years ago. I get a little jealous seeing the opportunity some of its early employees had. I think going to a startup could put me into a really good position, though I understand the risk with startups as well. This one is a series D in funding, been around almost 10 years, definitely more established, but still a startup.

I am really considering making the switch.. The job I have now was my first out of college. It could be my one and only career, but I’m kind of itching to change things up. Get different experiences, yknow? Yet at the same time I don’t want to put myself in a bad spot as a parent. I’m still breastfeeding and will need to figure out pumping in a new environment. I’ll have to build rapport with all new coworkers. The pay bump really is good going from $85k to 105k- but my family doesn’t necessarily NEED more money. We’d be saving a lot of it or using it to invest into our home.

Has anyone made a similar switch after becoming a mother? Was it worth it? Am I dumb for considering this switch?

Here’s the two options.

Current job:
Pay: $85k, no bonus
Health Insurance: $5k/yr, $1200 funded into HSA
401k: 50% match up to 8% plus student loan match into retirement (so I do a 4% contribution, get 2% match, and then use my student loan payments to make up the remaining 2% match)
PTO: Unlimited, Flexible (I take 25 days on average)
Work Location: Hybrid but can be fully remote. Office is a 40min drive, but sometimes can take over an hour.
Culture: Great. I’m well respected around here. I’ve had feedback from peers that I’m “irreplaceable”. Directors will stop by when they see me and say hi, catch up on life, etc. It’s a bigger company though, Fortune 500. Things move slow in terms of work due to a lot of bureaucracy. My team is also pretty disconnected. I’m the only one who comes into office. We all work on different projects. Etc. So I don’t have direct peers to learn from, mostly just cross functional colleagues.

Job offer:
Pay: $105k, 5% bonus
Health Insurance: $12k/yr, no HSA contribution
401k: 100% up to 4%, no student loan match options
PTO: Unlimited, Flexible (seems to match my current, but who knows if they are exaggerating the flexibility during the interviews)
Work Location: 4 days onsite, 1 day WFH. Apparently flexible to WFH more when sick, handling a contractor, etc. Office is 30min away, different highway and potentially better traffic.
Culture: Established startup. Expanding. Seems like a good office environment. Free lunch provided etc. The people I’d be working with also seem to have more experience than people on my current team, so I would have a good opportunity to learn from them. I just lose the rapport I’ve built from my current job, but I know that can come with time at the new place.

Other factors to consider, I’m a new mom. I am struggling with sleep and daycare sickness and worry it could throw off my initial performance. But I also kind of dread WFH and crave a more social office experience. The office being 10min closer is definitely an appeal and I like that there is regular office attendance. I’m just nervous to try something new, especially since this offer is at a start up and may be a little riskier. We live fine on my current pay, the extra income would go into savings. I would stress less about our emergency fund & we can do more for our home. I also don’t want to hold myself back from a good opportunity because of being afraid of change.

Would you take the new offer?