u/carlinsgh0st

(31f) I was always insecure about myself so I spent time with shitty friends and older men. But I was really pretty. I feel like my youth was robbed from me. I hung out with older (like way older) ((40s in my early 20s even a 60 year old 🤮) BECAUSE I was insecure and I thought doing this was rather than having to hang out with someone my own age. I did hard drugs when I was 19 so my brain is stuck at that age. I think back to it and it really bothers me. Now I’m in my 30s and I can’t even enjoy my sex life because I was hanging out with someone 7 years older than me and he sexual abused me at 26. IN MY PRIME! I know I have a lot of life to live, I just feel gross and sad, I feel my youth was robbed from me and it’s all my fault. I’m the captain of my life and I didn’t steer correctly.

(31f) I was always insecure about myself so I spent time with shitty friends and older men. But I was really pretty. I feel like my youth was robbed from me. I hung out with older (like way older) ((40s in my early 20s even a 60 year old 🤮) BECAUSE I was insecure and I thought doing this was rather than having to hang out with someone my own age. I did hard drugs when I was 19 so my brain is stuck at that age. I think back to it and it really bothers me. Now I’m in my 30s and I can’t even enjoy my sex life because I was hanging out with someone 7 years older than me and he sexual abused me at 26. IN MY PRIME! I know I have a lot of life to live, I just feel gross and sad, I feel my youth was robbed from me and it’s all my fault. I’m the captain of my life and I didn’t steer correctly.

Me, 31f him 32m

Back in October of last year I went to a rehab, my boyfriend told me there’s was a gay guy there flirting with him. I asked if they did anything together he said no. Fast forward to February of this year, I went to another rehab and how he had made me feel about the first time going to rehab, I lied to him that I was out of town with family. I come back home and I tell him the truth, anyway we weren’t together fussing and so I messaged a guy I’ve known a long time to hook up with him because I was angry. Anyway, I didn’t hook up with random guy from my past. We started to hook up but I stopped it and left. My boyfriend and I weren’t together fussing talking about trying to be back together and he asked me if I’d hooked up with anyone when we were fussing I told him about guy from my past. He gets angry and breaks up with me. Anyway, he told me two nights ago that he did in fact hook up with that gay guy from back in October. He said it was sort of the same thing he started to hook up with him but then stopped.

Tl;dr boyfriend lied about hooking up with guy even after I asked, although when he asks I tell him the truth.

I mean for real wtf.