u/chryblsmblzzrd

Hey all.

My kid got into my phone and somehow sent a youtube video to my entire friends list. I don't use facebook anymore and have purposefully been trying to avoid messages on there. I panicked once I realize what happened and deactivated the account. Will people be able to see that my account sent them the message? Will it still go through since my account is deactivated now? I chose the option to not use messenger when it asked while deactivating so hopefully it deactivates that too.

Hi parents!

I'm a SAHM and my husband works full time. Our 4 year old is starting pre-k in fall and we are figuring out how schedules are going to look and how our routines will change. I don't plan to return to a traditional 9-5 job and we currently only have 1 vehicle which is my husband's car. In short, I think sharing is more beneficial for us financially and he thinks sharing is an inconvenience.

Here's some more context from both our points of view. I'll start with mine.

While I do see the benefit in having my own vehicle I also see it just being yet another financial burden in our lives. We budget well, track every dollar, stay caught up on bills and rent, but we live paycheck to paycheck. I plan to WFH and do some side gigs once our kid starts school because trying to WFH with a rambunctious toddler is a nightmare.

IMO getting a car of my own is just doubling our costs; gas, tires, maintenance, registration, higher insurance premium, etc. My kids school is a reasonable distance from our home (but not close enough to walk). While I'm not thrilled about the idea of having to wake up even earlier (and risk a cranky kid) to take my husband to work 20 minutes away in the morning, I could drop him off and pick him up every day and just keep the car while he works. I already run shopping and grocery errands in evenings so I could manage that and other things while husband is working. We also want to eventually move to a different city or state within the next few years and I feel like moving with 2 cars would be impossible.

My husband's point of view:

My husband wants to buy me an older but reliable car (Honda or Toyota) with a little chunk of his 401k. I brought up how sharing a car will save us money and avoid extra costs but his argument is convenience and safety. He mainly doesn't want to have to be dropped off or picked up from work. His regular shifts are mon - fri but he gets OT and some weekends, and has frequent days with unpredictable hours and random schedules. I suggested he get a ride back home on unpredictable OT shifts but he says he doesn't want to have to owe anyone gas money or bug them.

He also wants me to be available to leave right away in case of an emergency. His point was that he wants me to be the one to handle our errands and appointments while he works since he can't just leave, and by the time he comes home he doesn't want to go back out. I know he wants me to also get out of the house more solo instead of being stuck at home alone while kiddo is at school. He wants me to doordash but after accounting for gas (especially now) plus wear and tear I don't know if it's worth it. My husband also thinks that me having my own vehicle would serve as our backup in case anything ever happened with his car. He has a 2015 coupe that's in really good shape but I hate that it's only a two door. Getting our child in and out is a tedious process and a four door vehicle would provide an actual backseat and be more comfortable for our child.

I would ultimately rather have my husband trade his car for an older four door family car that we can share. He wants us to have our own separate vehicles. I also mentioned to him about the possibility of insurance going up with separate cars and his argument was that he didn't mind the increase because he was paying double for solo coverage through his last insurer. He said our insurance offers multi-vehicle discounts but even with the discount I can imagine our premium going up 100+ dollars. Our insurance is cheap but it's liability only. I asked him about registration, oil changes, part replacements, tires, etc. My husband said the registration was only once a year which wasn't a big deal for him and that he saves money by doing things like oil changes on his own and that if I needed tires replaced he can either save up for it or finance it as a last resort.

I'm leaning towards trading my husband's car in and sharing it, but what do y'all think? Am I being unreasonable? Anyone here a 1 car family? For those with 2 cars how does it work out for y'all? Please be kind. Thanks so much!

I'm a 28 year old wife and mother of one, and as of now both my husband and I don't have outside family. The glue of my family, my grandparents, have all died. I'm no longer in contact with my parents for personal reasons regarding abuse, but my life has been safer with their absence. Being a parent has gotten me reflecting on my own life a lot and in trying to give my child a social life, it's made me look at mine and how much it not only lacks, but how it specifically lacks strong family ties.

Growing up I was surrounded by my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I had many playdates with cousins, and close relationships with my aunts and uncles. Birthdays were a big deal and holidays felt warm and cozy. Random visits from family happened all the time and gatherings were fun. People seemed genuinely excited to see me or talk to me or celebrate a holiday with me. I'd get calls and texts out of the blue and people wanting to keep in touch. People were excited by my accomplishments and wanted to see me grow. But the older I've gotten the more I've noticed these dynamics just.. faded.

I know it's normal that as people grow up, our circumstances change and therefore our communication does too. People graduate, go to school or get a job, have relationships and eventually get married and start their own families... we all kind of go our separate ways in a sense.

But this separation and lack of emotional connection with my family as a whole feels different. Severely lacking. I have a younger sister who has a different dad than me. My favorite uncle growing up is her dad's brother. The last time I saw him was at her high school graduation and he didn't even talk to me or look my way. My cousins don't talk to me anymore. The one cousin I was closest to as a child harbors a lot of jealousy and negativity towards me for some reason so we don't talk. Her brothers don't even recognize me anymore. My aunts and uncles seem disinterested in my life and make no efforts to connect or reciprocate. I have a cousin that I text occasionally to keep in touch, after having not seen him for years, and while he does text back it just feels so forced.

I notice that by and large, if I'm not the one that reaches out first, I don't hear from anyone. My sister and I don't talk or have a relationship, but there's a deeper context there surrounding the abuse and triangulation our narcissistic mom put us through. Before we stopped talking it was the same pattern. I would text or call, and if I didn't, that same energy wasn't reciprocated.

I just feel so ignored. I feel like the idea of family has changed so much within the past few decades. To the point where the concept of family has become almost unattainable. I'm not speaking about my husband or child, this post is more about biological immediate family. I feel like there is so much gossip and judgement in my family as well, which I'm sure can be said for many if not most families, but I truly do feel like the black sheep of my family.

My husband and I had some relationship problems around the time our child was born a few years ago. We made the choice to work things through and by me staying, I angered some family members with that choice and quickly became the talk of the family in a bad way. It broke my heart. The family dissolution and separation became an issue years before this occurred but I feel has gotten worse since. I feel like if I walk in a room and family is there, they glance and look away now. Striking up conversations with any of them feels superficial, forced, and full of tension. That's if they even recognize me.

I'm not a special person. I don't look conventionally attractive, don't have much money, and don't have much to show for in life. I didn't go to college or get a degree. I'm not anything impressive or worth approving of, unlike my sister. By all accounts, I am the ugly redheaded stepchild. I don't own nice things or wear nice clothes. I struggle with my weight and don't know how to do makeup or make myself look beautiful. I'm painfully average in every way. I get the feeling that if I don't have anything to show for in life - financially, physically, educationally, etc, then I have failed in these people's eyes.

I feel behind in life, and can't help but feel like some family members are way farther in life than me. My husband and I live an average life. We rent a crappy old home, share a vehicle and overall live modestly. My husband is my best friend in life and lifts me up all the time. We have a fantastic relationship and have put in years of work to get to the greatest spot in our marriage. We aren't perfect but we love doing life together and enjoy every day together. My child holds the biggest piece of my heart and is my greatest joy in life. I couldn't imagine myself not being a parent. I love my husband and kid and am grateful to have them every day. I feel hurt though because no one even seems to care about my kid. No one calls or texts or comes around. No one even knows my kids birthday. For the ones that have been invited, they made excuses. Our kid's birthdays and playdates have almost always been attended by some of husband's friends and their kids instead, but none of our biological families. No one came to my wedding except one person and her kids. No one remembered my birthday for the first time last year and that hurt my heart.

I just feel like biological family isn't what it used to be. I feel like I could disappear tomorrow and genuinely no one would be affected. I don't even know if anyone would show up to my funeral besides my husband and child. I have no meaningful relationships or communication with any of these people I share blood with anymore. Childhood seemed like the best part of my life when everyone cared. Now? I feel like a ghost. Just walking around begging to be seen.

Hi everyone.

So my spouse and I are from Texas. I'm a pretty devout atheist and hubby leans more agnostic. He was raised Catholic and I was raised by Christians. We have a 4 year old who we're raising totally secular. We don't want to indoctrinate our child or force any beliefs onto him. We do plan to raise him to be respectful of others beliefs, as well as to question the world and freely form his own opinions and beliefs. We will be honest about our own beliefs if we're asked, and teach him about the different types of beliefs people may have (religious, spiritual, secular, etc) but swaying our child a particular way isn't the goal.

Our son starts school this year. In our city we have public schools, private schools, religious schools, and a charter school. Our plan initially was to enroll our child in public school until kindergarten then transfer to the charter school. The charter school here has positive reviews, performs well academically and the curriculum is learn at your own pace. I have a family member who has children that go to the school as well which was another reason for wanting to transfer our kiddo there.

However, in doing more research on schools in our area the charter school popped up a few times. It turns out the principial of the charter school is very intolerant of anyone non-religious and makes an effort to single out children and families that don't subscribe to the same beliefs, and gets staff on board about it too. The charter school is supposed to be non-religious but my family member confirmed that her kids (7, 13) are taught about God and the bible in their studies. We were really disappointed to hear about this and are re-considering the charter school.

Aside from the school issue, my husband has no family left and all I have left is this one family member of mine. She's extremely conservative, right-wing and religious. My son adores her and she loves him. I struggle with people pleasing and have an anxiety disorder, and I also fear of losing the only family I have left. Because of this, husband and I are secular behind closed doors. My husband never addresses religion and I just go along with what my family member says to make her happy. I know if she were to ever know the truth about my atheism, it would forever change how she views me as a person and might even ruin or deeply stain our relationship. Everyone she knows will hear about it and no one will ever look at us the same. I'm tired of living a lie and we don't want to raise our child to have to live the same way.

So with that, hubby and I don't know where to go from here. Do we tell our son's schools that we aren't a religious family? What if we receive backlash or pushback? How do we handle the topic of our son's religion with my family member? And ultimately, how do we raise a child without having religion forced down his throat when religion is in our face at every turn here? I know my son will inevitably question things as he gets older, and I don't want it to cause a rift between my family member and I. I don't want to convince my child to lie about being religious, but I also don't want my family member influencing his beliefs or confusing him. I also don't want my child accidentally outing me as an atheist to this family member. My husband suggested letting himself be the one to take the blame for us not raising our son religious, where it concerns my family member, but I don't feel right doing that when it's both of us that don't subscribe to religion. This is all kept me awake at night for some time now, and guidance would be most appreciated.

We are looking for a safe and highly rated elementary school that offers Pre-K. I would like to hear everyone's positive and negative experiences with the different public schools here. I hear mixed reviews on AISD but being that I haven't lived here long I'd like to get the locals reviews and thoughts. Safety, education, health, no religion and protections against bullying matter most for us. Thank you in advance, parents!

Hi all. I have a 4 year old turning 5 at the end of the year and want to put my child in Pre-K. What are your recommendations? When does Pre-K start, and is it free? Thanks in advance!