u/confused-adolescent

magkano ang jeep galing sta. lucia/marikina pasig station papunta ng binangonan lakeview/bilibiran?

For context, I’ve recently been receiving sexual reels from my boyfriend, and I think he sends them to me because it reminds him of us.

I’m not sexually inclined, so engaging with this type of content or conversation requires more energy from me. Additionally, these reels that he sends me makes me uncomfortable because it would be a girl with cleavage/having implied sex/lingerie.

I want to put out there that I trust my boyfriend. I know that he loves me for who I am and not just for my body and the pleasure I may give to him. I also trust him to not compare our intimate life online.

I think it’s important to note that we haven't had successful PIV intercourse because of a medical complication, so our physical intimacy is mostly limited to dry humping/oral for now (hence why this is an uncomfortable topic for me).

I know that I can’t control his social media algorithm. I understand that age and natural sex drive is also a variable here.

I know he only shares these with me, doesn't interact with them publicly, and sends them to me because he misses me.

Is this something that I should bring up since it makes me uncomfortable? Or since I know he has no bad intentions, I should not worry too much?

TLDR: I’m uncomfortable with the reels that my bf sends but I know he doesn’t have bad intentions towards them. Should I let it be or should I bring it up? If I should bring it up, how?

saw my late cat flake in my current cat tago today. i held tago in my arms like the way i used to hold flake. it felt a bit nice for them to share that likeness of being held.

it sounds silly but i used to pick flake’s dry boogers—eyeboogers, nose boogers.. boogers. he was my child, afterall, and he always had boogers. tago didn’t flinch when i removed his nose booger and that made me laugh cause i haven’t done that to flake in awhile.

it’s been a hard day today and i miss how you always welcomed me like it was any day. i miss you, my baby flake.

will a user be notified (actual phone and/or notification board) if i reply to their comment on my message board but i delete my reply later on?

same goes with MBTI (though to be honest i think MBTI has little to do with one’s attitude/behavior and more on thought process).

asking this cause i’m an ISFP 9 and see no EVLF representation (on pdb anyway), tho i resonate with all of these types.

do you believe that certain enneagram types are unlikely to be/have certain psychosophy placement/ attitudinal psyche?

same goes with MBTI (though to be honest i think MBTI has little to do with one’s attitude/behavior and more on thought process).

asking this cause i’m an ISFP 9 and see no EVLF representation, tho i resonate with all of these types.

grieving the girl i used to be. the one who knew how to genuinely smile and laugh and enjoy things. i’m not diagnosed, and i’m scared to because here in our country and even in my family mental health is a bit taboo. i’ve always been taught that ‘it’s all in the mindset’ and i should be grateful.

i also don’t know if i’m ‘sad enough’ to make what i’m feeling valid.

i do know that being outside doesn’t excite me much anymore. i can show (fake?) interest in meeting people but i know it doesn’t excite me anymore like it used to. (i was a ‘forced’ drop out, now returnee) college is a pain and just intensifies this feeling, i don’t feel like having responsibilities, or the pressure of having responsibilities feels.. unnecessary and that makes it frustrating. i think everything is bothersome is the word. i used to care what others think but now i just feel like not caring much.

the past 2 years have been rough but this year, i have this feeling like i should be somewhere else. like i’m not really here and i’m meant to be somewhere, just not here.

i get random flares of deep sighs.. i’m not sure if that’s anxiety or i’m just overthinking it.

what does depression feel like? and how do i rise up from it when it feels like i have no other choice but to be strong.

It’s the first morning since my sweet cat passed away. I’m an introverted ‘picky’ low maintenance friend only child whose parents were away most of the time during childhood so I had no one else growing up but my cat and my grandmother who also unfortunately passed away a few months ago.

The feeling has set in that I’m alone. That both of those who were with me majority of my life are now gone, both suffered from the pain of natural death—a long story that I posted here—and will no longer be with me growing older. It also sucks that I didn’t have the courage to hold him during his final moments even though I was there. Did he truly feel love or am I just convincing myself that? I feel so guilty for the way things have ended. And how it’s unfair that they had to suffer while time will pass for me and I’ll continue breathing, maybe even be happy, without them.

All I’m thinking now is when it’s my turn and my time will come that feeling of regret will come crawling to me. I wish my baby boy will come visit me. I wish I can truly know that he’s okay now despite the uncertainty that comes with death. I wish I had done better for him. I wish I can be with him again. It’s suffering to walk alone and carry that grief with me for the rest of my life but I suppose I deserve every bit of it.

VERY LONG STORY my apologies. I just wish someone would understand the kind of hurt that I’m carrying.

My cat Flake was, and forever will be my best friend. I was 9 years old when I got him—I’m now 20. While most of the stories here are sudden deaths, mine was hours and could have been preventable.

I feel so extremely guilty that he passed away naturally. TLDR: I had considered euthanasia and begged to help him but my family was against it because he was “strong” and should give him a fighting chance. He ended up dying ‘naturally’ and it took hours of heavy breathing before he passed away.

Back around 2022-2023 he was a miracle survivor from oral surgery. He was already diagnosed with CKD and quite literally unrecognizable with the amount of tartar he had produced from stomatitis but my family decided to undergo the surgery anyway, and the strong cat he was, miraculously survived.

Fast forward to 2026, just a week ago me and my mom left the house and stayed in the city. My baby wasn’t eating already and I was supposed to come home on Wednesday but had a change of plans and stayed another day. I wish I never left home in the first place cause when we came back home he had already lost a significant amount of weight and almost completely stopped eating because his stomatitis emerged again.

We ended up taking him to what was on the surface good but actually a SHITTY vet where the vet told us he was stage 4 CKD and he was confined for 3 days. During these 3 days I had an awful gut feeling that Flake was getting neglected by the vet, and though I nagged my mom about it she told me to wait.

When he came back home his dried saliva had covered his entire face and paws. Why didn’t they clean him?? And he was STILL drooling. they forced my baby to eat when he was clearly in pain. They forced oral meds when he already had an oral problem going on. They didn’t give him pain meds either—I regret not being pushy about it just because of his kidney problem.

Almost immediately from picking up from the clinic I felt that Flake had deteriorated to the point that he will no longer enjoy life. He didn’t drink nor eat, and alot of what I read is that once your cat no longer does one—in our case both—I considered euthanasia for a day and though it was hard I firmly believed that he shouldn’t be in pain anymore.

I had a severe argument with my mom that night and the next day I told her that if she thinks euthanasia is justified, we should push through. She was already stressed from work cause she’s the breadwinner of our family + we had medical appointments for our migration going on so I think that’s what prompted her to say that it’s okay. We also know that when we inevitably leave, Flake would not be able to recover.

Well quite after from our medical we came home and our housekeeper says that ‘Flake has been drinking’ and ‘has energy to walk’ when matter of fact he was already WOBBLING and simply sitting in front of his water bowl with his saliva drooling red.

That’s when I knew that it was truly time and it was of the essence.

But then all of a sudden with this unreal news, they’re against euthanasia!!! “Flake is drinking again and he has energy!!!” I was SO infuriated that they thought he wasn’t suffering when he was already drooling red.

My mom went on with her meeting calls while I searched for vet clinics that administered at home euthanasia at around 4:30PM. When I brought it up she said, ‘today already??’ and then I said since we’re in this together, I’ve already decided but can YOU. she said we’ll go to the vet tomorrow and get a 2nd opinion.

Flake continued to wobble and I tried my best to give him a good day by letting him go outside near the pool and letting him enjoy his favorite spots. I knew this was no way for him to live anymore and just wish my mom would be convinced. I don’t have money of my own cause the country where I’m from don’t really do working students.

around 5:30PM she told me that her friend also advised euthanasia and that’s what it took to convince her, not her wailing child telling her to have mercy on our cat.

At that point Flake was already dizzy and visibly tired. I told her, since we’re both agreed, let’s euthanize him NOW while he’s still enjoying his day and feels no significant amount of pain.

But then my dad convinced her that it’s better for him to die naturally, since if we do euthanasia it would just be the same end result and we’d just end up paying for the same result. i tried to tell them it’s not the fact that he’s already dying but the fact that we can still let him go while he’s not suffering. They’re telling me that I was too caught up in my emotions and that I should think logically. In my head, my cat was dying from liver and kidney failure and I’m not gonna sit here and not do something to help him!

After a lot of panicked convincing it was already too late, all of the clinics were closing at 6PM, and the one clinic open until 8PM didn’t do at home euthanasia. There was a clinic that offered, but it had to be in the vet clinic.

I thought, while I want to ease his suffering, I don’t want him to die at the vet. But then after some thinking I said, let’s just do it. So I ask them, it takes another convincing, and at that point Flake was barely moving. They said not to take him to the vet anymore because it was only a matter of time before he would pass away. Reluctantly, I agreed. Cause he was truly just laying down with a blank look on his face and I was scared that he would die on the way under the stress of taking him there cause he was already nauseous and had trauma from the previous vet. I thought at the time that maybe it was right that he would for sure die here with us, not in some clinic or a car under stress. I didn’t know if Flake would like to go on a car ride to the vet again in his last moment.

I wish I was firm enough in myself to choose the vet clinic—though not ideal and Flake would be scared—and pushed for it. I wish my parents pushed for it.

It took an excruciating 5 hours until Flake eventually passed away at around 11PM, I stayed with him the entire time and was there when he took he struggled to take his last breath and the light in his eyes faded slowly. He struggled the last few minutes straining, but he didn’t wail. I was the only one who knew he had already passed away a few minutes before I finally cried and my mom went over to see. And the next thing she said triggered me. She said he was peaceful.

While I want to believe that since I was there with him and he died at home, and he didn’t let out wails of pain (though I’m sure he felt a lot), I feel regret that I didn’t take away his pain sooner, and that I didn’t push harder to take that pain even if it meant having to go to the vet one last time. Maybe it’s what he would have wanted anyway, if he knew that he would be in pain in those last moments in exchange for the comfort of our home.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to live with this burden. That I didn’t try hard enough and I let my best friend die in pain for hours for the sake of financials and the facade of comfort at home. I feel so disgusting and undeserving of the unconditional love that Flake gave me. I feel like I let him down. I wish I controlled everything more, even though I know for myself it’s not my decision since it’s my mom who pays.

Was he truly in pain despite his silence? It haunts me that I let it happen and how much trust Flake gave me and I let him down. I wish he didn’t die that way. I wish he died while he still had the liberty of walking, while he still had the joy of eating and drinking. Not consumed by a disease that he didn’t at all deserve.