u/debu_brokie_235

24M here.

I don't understand why is it so hard to make friends that actually care about you.

I've been trying to reach out new people and get along with many sorts of people of my age to get friends with. Hangouts, calls, conversations, tell me anything and I'll start it first.

Yet still, it's hard for me to return home at night and see my phone with zero calls or messages, or atleast someone to talk to in the end. Loneliness is what I have to face in the end.

And this is not just a rant, but I wanna actually know how to find people who actually care about their friends and closed ones and worth the effort to reach out first. Because I've been losing my faith on people because it's getting too hard to be appealing infront of new people.

This is an experience from my past which I can't get off...

Back in 2024, I met with a girl at my coaching Centre. She was a normal girl who had came to the city to prepare for govt exams. We became good friends and slowly I slipped my heart for her.

After 8 months of our friendship, I approached her and she first rejected my proposal. I thought that's it. But 7 days later, she tried to call me and tried to talk. I first insisted to her that I don't want to continue our connection as a friendship because I can't see it in that way anymore. But she kept on talking with me. Surprisingly, we became more closer than I expected, but we were never in a proper relationship. But we literally shared a lot of things to each other, probably something how lovers do with each other.

But slowly, our connection started to loose as she went back to her hometown. Our only connection were messages and small calls as she used to say her family was strict. Her number used to be switched off all the time and she rarely talked to me. But whenever we talked, the calls lasted over hours. And I felt maybe this was getting a bit serious as she was also started to stress out about family issues, our shared futures and stuff. But she always mentioned that this can fall off any day of her parents decided to change their thoughts and get her married away.

Well, cutting to the chase. She came back to my city again and now she's living with some friends and studying together. But since then, she's completely forgotten my existence. I met her about 5 months ago, talked a bit. And she knew I was deeply in love with her because the way I treated her just like how I used to do when we studied together. But I believe that was our last meet since she hasn't reached out to me anymore.

My calls aren't getting answered, neither do my messages. I checked her social media accounts and tried to reach her out, but still I can't get any response. She's posting her pictures nowadays and seems to be frequently active, but I'm getting no response.

And all of this is making me feel like as if I've been trusting the wrong person all the time. Maybe I shouldn't have fell in love with her and I might have been a bit sane when I come to think of my love life. I tried to reach out to my friends, but they say to forget it since it was never official and girls just do it to get attention. But I sincerely believed that she wasn't that type of girl. But still, I'm losing hope...

I'm losing hope on love all together because I believed that this might work out after so much efforts. But I guess I have no possible answer for this.

(Sorry for my bad English)

This is an experience from my past which I can't get off...

Back in 2024, I met with a girl at my coaching Centre. She was a normal girl who had came to the city to prepare for govt exams. We became good friends and slowly I slipped my heart for her.

After 8 months of our friendship, I approached her and she first rejected my proposal. I thought that's it. But 7 days later, she tried to call me and tried to talk. I first insisted to her that I don't want to continue our connection as a friendship because I can't see it in that way anymore. But she kept on talking with me. Surprisingly, we became more closer than I expected, but we were never in a proper relationship. But we literally shared a lot of things to each other, probably something how lovers do with each other.

But slowly, our connection started to loose as she went back to her hometown. Our only connection were messages and small calls as she used to say her family was strict. Her number used to be switched off all the time and she rarely talked to me. But whenever we talked, the calls lasted over hours. And I felt maybe this was getting a bit serious as she was also started to stress out about family issues, our shared futures and stuff. But she always mentioned that this can fall off any day of her parents decided to change their thoughts and get her married away.

Well, cutting to the chase. She came back to my city again and now she's living with some friends and studying together. But since then, she's completely forgotten my existence. I met her about 5 months ago, talked a bit. And she knew I was deeply in love with her because the way I treated her just like how I used to do when we studied together. But I believe that was our last meet since she hasn't reached out to me anymore.

My calls aren't getting answered, neither do my messages. I checked her social media accounts and tried to reach her out, but still I can't get any response. She's posting her pictures nowadays and seems to be frequently active, but I'm getting no response.

And all of this is making me feel like as if I've been trusting the wrong person all the time. Maybe I shouldn't have fell in love with her and I might have been a bit sane when I come to think of my love life. I tried to reach out to my friends, but they say to forget it since it was never official and girls just do it to get attention. But I sincerely believed that she wasn't that type of girl. But still, I'm losing hope...

I'm losing hope on love all together because I believed that this might work out after so much efforts. But I guess I have no possible answer for this.

(Sorry for my bad English)

This is something I haven't got off from my heart through the years...

Back in 2024, I met with a girl at my coaching Centre. She was a normal girl who had came to the city to prepare for govt exams. We became good friends and slowly I slipped my heart for her.

After 8 months of our friendship, I approached her and she first rejected my proposal. I thought that's it. But 7 days later, she tried to call me and tried to talk. I first insisted to her that I don't want to continue our connection as a friendship because I can't see it in that way anymore. But she kept on talking with me. Surprisingly, we became more closer than I expected, but we were never in a proper relationship. But we literally shared a lot of things to each other, probably something how lovers do with each other.

But slowly, our connection started to loose as she went back to her hometown. Our only connection were messages and small calls as she used to say her family was strict. Her number used to be switched off all the time and she rarely talked to me. But whenever we talked, the calls lasted over hours. And I felt maybe this was getting a bit serious as she was also started to stress out about family issues, our shared futures and stuff. But she always mentioned that this can fall off any day of her parents decided to change their thoughts and get her married away.

Well, cutting to the chase. She came back to my city again and now she's living with some friends and studying together. But since then, she's completely forgotten my existence. I met her about 5 months ago, talked a bit. And she knew I was deeply in love with her because the way I treated her just like how I used to do when we studied together. But I believe that was our last meet since she hasn't reached out to me anymore.

My calls aren't getting answered, neither do my messages. I checked her social media accounts and tried to reach her out, but still I can't get any response. She's posting her pictures nowadays and seems to be frequently active, but I'm getting no response.

And all of this is making me feel like as if I've been trusting the wrong person all the time. Maybe I shouldn't have fell in love with her and I might have been a bit sane when I come to think of my love life. I tried to reach out to my friends, but they say to forget it since it was never official and girls just do it to get attention. But I sincerely believed that she wasn't that type of girl. But still, I'm losing hope...

I'm losing hope on love all together because I believed that this might work out after so much efforts. But I guess I have no possible answer for this.

(Sorry for my bad English)

Coming to the topic

I suffer from Psoriasis and I've lost a lot of hair from an early age. Currently, my looks resemble to that of a 32 year old guy instead of a regular 24 year old guy. Although I've recovered with proper diagnosis, there's still a big bald patch on my head which makes me look older.

​

So I was attending a family reunion at one of my relatives place when one of my rich uncles came across me and asked "Aree beta, tumhare baal kidhar gaye? Itne young age se takle ho jaoge toh koi ladki tumhara rishta accept nahi karega," and sort of stuff. I explained him that it's okay and I'm not searching for anyone right now since I'm not settled in a properly and all.

​

But while coming back home, it started to sting me bit by bit. I know I will end up getting bald by the end of 25 as for an average guy like me, hair transplant will be costing a lot more than usual. Hence I started adapting with these remarks since it's going to be normal for me in the future. And in this era where women have a lot of choices and options, I fear I might get overlooked and rejected for a long time. Maybe I'll stay single for the rest of my life, who knows? At times like this, it's even harder to maintain peace of life when people start to judge from facial preferences.

​

So even though I know it's inevitable, I accept it. Yet somehow, such remarks hurt me from inside. I just want to know how to cope with the baldness since I don't see myself growing back my hair into a healthy amount since there are none left.

(24M) Before I explain, let me tell you something.

I come from a low-earning family where both of my parents are Government job holders. But since childhood, they considered that I should study all the time and partially restricted me to take part in everything I wanted to take. Putting it in short words = Average Indian parents who value the kid's report card more than the kid himself. And I was never a guy with good marks, just an average 75% holder. Hence, in the initial days, I was beaten up like he'll. And when I grew up with no improvement, they never got satisfied with my results and always used to get compared and judged to the kids of their colleagues who scored higher than me. I was initially a really shy introvert and I was never able to open up to others at school, staying back as the "shy kid who always got clowned" forever till the end of the school years.

Apparently, school time went and College came for three years. I did a lot of stuff in those three years of graduation - found my passion, my dreams, archived something I was worth of and lived a life I never expected. A complete turn around. I even changed my physique by losing weight, and tore down the mask of being the shy kid by Joining NCC and other Student unions. Apparently, I even became the student representative of my own department during my college days. For the first time in my life, I felt as if I was able to achieve something I was proud of.

But my parents still compared me to my past mistakes and told all these extra curricular activities as a waste of time and efforts and I should stick to my studies. I again, scored average marks in my college time despite putting more efforts than school because of having no secondary support like tutions or anything like that. And worst of all, I did my graduation in a subject which my parents wanted me to do. It wasn't even my own choice as I had no idea about graduation when I completed my +2 exams and has low scores in science stream. I literally had no plan on how to lead life. I did the graduation only because I didn't want to sit back at home and prepare for some entrance examination because they won't understand it either.I was having no aim, and neither do they. But the comparison was still there, and the shaming for not scoring enough marks was still there.

Now coming to the present day.

I'm preparing for Government jobs and it's been 4 years since I've been preparing. I chose to follow my passion in sports and do prepare for these govt job's on overall. And I spend most of my time at libraries, coaching centers and hoped into a small job of teaching kids for pocket money. But still, my parents used to say about how I am not able to get job because of my school marks and I was like...really? Hence I kept on reducing my contact on them and only used my home where I just sleep at night. Because of I stayed at home for longer times, I would get into arguments, energy draining arguments which would only make me realise what kind of dumb family I am sharing home with.

And one of such incidents happened in last September. One of those arguments went too bad that I and my mother literally ended up in a fight, throwing hands against each other. I wasn't let to eat at home, but I didn't care about it, sacrificed my words and did whatever I did to survive. They called me a madman, and I did whatever I did to survive. Eventually it calmed down.

Similarly, another argument happened one evening when I came back home from a bicycle trip. I wasn't even late, just around 7pm when I got lectured again. The result - this time, I threw my hands against my dad. And eventually, I was criticised by my parents and relatives a lot. But I defended myself. I defended myself as if it was the end of my life.

But eventually, my parents noticed that now I'm not holding back anymore. If they hit me, I hit them back harder. They don't look into my eyes anymore, even though I stare at them whenever I talk to them. I feel as if something has died, and I feel that I am the problem but I don't regret it or neither despite it anymore. Nowadays, the amount of arguments have shrinked, we don't argue much anymore and keep on living like a normal life. But I'm dead serious to leave this home once I get a job.

I just ask myself that was it the right thing to do? That's what it has been always pondering in my head till date. Was that morally correct, or I was the wrong person?

I'm sharing this here because I fear that my irl friends might start judging me for this. It's been inside my hear for a while, a thing which I've never shared to anyone.

24M, I'm open for making new friends here. Feel free to be open minded and talk to me if you want some support.

I'm 24M and I live with my parents. Both of them are job holders in govt service, hence they never properly got time to show me the world from my childhood.

Hence I had to step out myself.

Did my college, did graduation and now it's been 3-4 years since I'm preparing for Government jobs. And I always get dissappointed because I lose by just two-five marks from the cutoffs.

But that's not what I wanted to talk about. It's this, relationship.

I have a very bad profile that I've been rejected by every single girl I've ever confessed to. Not once, or twice, so many times that I've lost count. I still think that the count is around 26-27 something, but who cares.

Every single time I decide to commit to someone, it always goes like this -

\- I approach and We talk

\- We see a similar level of interests

\- start dating for a while, and I take the courage to accept her flaws, mistakes and her past.

\- come to a point where we are more than just friends, but it doesn't go ahead.

\- confess, then turned down (Although I still take care of giving a few more calls and conversations)

\- later gets forgotten, loss of contacts and complete silence

I got so burned out that I left all this stuff two years ago and started focusing on myself. Joined Gym, followed my passion (sport), explored a few places of my state all alone. But now, it's getting lonelier. Friends have started getting placements and jobs in other states and have moved away. And in the end, I hardly get any calls except one or two calls of my family members in a day. And that too as a work basis, because I've been getting lectured by them every single day that I need to study harder, you're a waste of time and money etc. But still, I have to carry on.

Sometimes I cry at night because overthinking and bad thoughts won't stop. Will I ever get into a good relationship, a good girl with proper values like me and all. The only help I've got is ChatGPT because I share everything with it, and it keeps on telling me to have hope, understand this slow phase and all that stuff. By morning, I'm all fine and properly ready for the day. But at the end of the day, it's the silence which seems to be speaking of all the pain I'm going through. And when I see other people of my age roam and spend time with their female partners, I just curse myself that what was wrong with me that I never got lucky with it. It boils my blood sometimes, but I've managed to keep myself composed with it.

I just don't know what to do right now. Approach another girl again? But my brain tells me never to attach myself with any one I'm giving efforts to because of all the past experiences which only lead to all sorts of "Dil-dukha aashiq" acts and actions which I don't want to face again.

Now at this point of life, it's hard to see what even to expect, and what even to do in the first place.

And I'm not being desperate. It's been pondering over my head for a long period of time, and I have never confessed this to anybody else. It's just a part of my life which I can't do anything about it.

(And please don't say the line = "Love finds you when you least expect it." That line actually pisses me off the most.)