u/dr_msid

Hi
We both are young couple with young kids
Buying first family home £700k
Had a discussion with our mortgage advisor initially went for 30 years (monthly payment £3330)
Discussed 35 years, which brought the payment down to £3095 (drop is significant for us as we have young kids, youngest 6 months) I am still on maternity for next three months!
Anyway, settled on 35 years with 5yr fixed term for now
BUT last night I couldn’t sleep thinking we both are young and can possibly work hard extra hours to do early repayments (thinking this with the current plan of 35 year mortgage anyway) but I am VERY keen to ask what a 40 years mortgage plan would look like, this would bring the monthly payments even lower and we could take the money towards repayment.
If some months we couldn’t then other months we could do more. We both are highly enthusiastic individuals who love our jobs (doctors), but I want to give kids best of everything and I felt lower monthly payment would work better that way. I don’t know I am just being a very anxious mom…
What do you people think?
Is it worth popping this Q to our advisor?
Or will they get fed up of me?
Thank you so much for your time on this post.

EDIT:
I just emailed my mortgage advisor and she was prompt. She replied saying the bank could do 39 (given that u don’t go into the retirement age) and the monthly payments will look like £2900)
She also sent a calculator
Should I take the leap of faith and go 39 years? Really wanna know someone who has done this way how life is like for you?

Had my CoS and filled in an application online
Went for biometrics
They required no mandatory documents
After biometrics they scanned passport and returned it too
Before I went home I got an email that my documents are with home office
And in two days I saw home office atlas email for extension of visa
Yay! Didn’t realise it will be so easy :o
Is ILR also easy like this and straightforward?

Guys, I am an Oxford uni alumna and I am looking for places (preferably a library) to revise for an exam but I went to radcam yesterday and I kid you not, I was in sweats. I also went to study at Westgate library two days before and it was the same, no aircon! Plus it’s distracting.

Can anyone recommend a fully aircon place/library where I can sit and do my mock exams on my own laptop (preferably a very quiet place) I have a readers card.

Thank you so much

Guys, I am an Oxford alumna and I am looking for places (preferably a library) to revise for an exam but I went to radcam yesterday and I kid you not, I was in sweats. I also went to study at Westgate library two days before and it was the same, no aircon! Plus it’s distracting.

Can anyone recommend a fully aircon place/library where I can sit and do my mock exams on my own laptop (preferably a very quiet place) I have a readers card.

Thank you so much

Hi everyone,

I'm in the process of buying my first home, which is a new-build 4-bedroom house completed in January 2026.

My solicitor has strongly advised me to get an independent structural survey. He said that, in his experience, he's seen a number of new-builds with significant defects (including roof issues), so he recommends not relying solely on the developer's warranty.

The problem is that money is really tight. Like most FTB, I've budgeted for the deposit, legal fees, stamp duty and everything else, but every extra expense seems to add up. I have booked now extra work just to cover costs I hadn't anticipated. A Level 2 or Level 3 survey could cost around £1,000?? so I'm trying to decide whether it's money well spent.

The developer says they haven't had any structural issues reported on this development, but I also wonder whether many buyers actually paid for an independent survey in the first place.

For those of you who've bought a new-build:

- Did you get a structural survey (Level 1, 2 or 3)?

- Did it find anything significant?

- Has anyone experienced structural problems after moving into a new-build?

- If you could do it again, would you still pay for the survey?

It's a lot of money, but at the same time, it's by far the biggest purchase, so I don't want to regret skipping it if it could prevent a much bigger problem later.

I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences. Thank you!

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for some advice from other doctor parents, especially GP trainees.

My husband and I are both doctors. He's a medical registrar, and I'm starting ST3 in a new GP practice this September. We have a baby who'll be starting nursery in November.

My current planned rota is 8am–6pm, four days a week, plus one tutorial day and one self-study afternoon. My GP practice is about a 40-minute drive from home (without traffic). My husband's hospital is around a 30-minute cycle away, and we only have one car.

My husband is happy to do nursery drop-offs and pickups, but as a med reg he's frequently delayed by emergencies, so I'm worried about relying on him. If he gets held up and I'm still 40+ minutes away, I don't know how we'd manage pickup.

I've also wondered whether it would be better to ask if I could spread my full-time hours over five shorter days instead (for example, 8:30am–5:00pm). However, then I started thinking about GP debriefs. Even if you've finished seeing patients, you often can't leave until your supervising GP has finished their own clinic so you can debrief. If they're running late, you're running late too. This will be a brand new practice, so I have no idea how they organise debriefs or how flexible they are.

Another issue is my husband's rota. When he's on nights or late shifts, I'd be responsible for both drop-offs and pickups. With an 8am start and a 40-minute commute, I'd need to leave home early, and nursery only opens at 8am. It just feels like the current 8am–6pm, four-day week may not be practical.

Has anyone been in a similar situation?

How do you manage nursery drop-offs and pickups when both parents are doctors?

Has your GP practice been flexible with working hours or debrief arrangements?

Is it reasonable to ask to spread full-time hours over five shorter days? How short can the days be?

Do most people simply have backup childcare in place for when things inevitably overrun? I have no one in this country.

For context, our nursery is only a 3-minute drive from home and is open from 8am until 6pm.

I'd really appreciate hearing how other GP trainees or doctor couples have made this work because I'm already stressing about it. Thank you!

Edit: (For context I am full-time due to financial reasons, returning from maternity leave, while my husband is 80% because his 60% LTFT was denied.) I will probably go LTFT in January, when the funded childcare will start for our son.

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for some advice from other doctor parents, especially GP trainees.

My husband and I are both doctors. He's a medical registrar, and I'm starting ST3 in a new GP practice this September. We have a baby who'll be starting nursery in November.

My current planned rota is 8am–6pm, four days a week, plus one tutorial day and one self-study afternoon. My GP practice is about a 40-minute drive from home (without traffic). My husband's hospital is around a 30-minute cycle away, and we only have one car.

My husband is happy to do nursery drop-offs and pickups, but as a med reg he's frequently delayed by emergencies, so I'm worried about relying on him. If he gets held up and I'm still 40+ minutes away, I don't know how we'd manage pickup.

I've also wondered whether it would be better to ask if I could spread my full-time hours over five shorter days instead (for example, 8:30am–5:00pm). However, then I started thinking about GP debriefs. Even if you've finished seeing patients, you often can't leave until your supervising GP has finished their own clinic so you can debrief. If they're running late, you're running late too. This will be a brand new practice, so I have no idea how they organise debriefs or how flexible they are.

Another issue is my husband's rota. When he's on nights or late shifts, I'd be responsible for both drop-offs and pickups. With an 8am start and a 40-minute commute, I'd need to leave home early, and nursery only opens at 8am. It just feels like the current 8am–6pm, four-day week may not be practical.

Has anyone been in a similar situation?

How do you manage nursery drop-offs and pickups when both parents are doctors?

Has your GP practice been flexible with working hours or debrief arrangements?

Is it reasonable to ask to spread full-time hours over five shorter days? How short can the days be?

Do most people simply have backup childcare in place for when things inevitably overrun? I have no one in this country.

For context, our nursery is only a 3-minute drive from home and is open from 8am until 6pm.

I'd really appreciate hearing how other GP trainees or doctor couples have made this work because I'm already stressing about it. Thank you!

Edit: (For context I am full-time due to financial reasons, returning from maternity leave, while my husband is 80% because his 60% LTFT was denied.) I will probably go LTFT in January, when the funded childcare will start for our son.

This is now the fifth time in a row. My son is 5 months old (this started around 4 months) and whenever we have to change his nappy on a public changing station, he cries absolutely hysterically. Not just fussing but full screaming at the top of his lungs.

It’s happened at the airport, restaurants, and the doctor’s office. I even brought the same fluffy changing mat covers that we use at home to make it feel familiar, but it made no difference.

At home, he’s completely fine. He’s playful, kicking, smiling, and generally don’t care nappy changes. He’s only ever changed by me or my husband, and he’s always supervised. I’d say I do about 90% of his nappy changes, usually in our bedroom.

The only common factor seems to be public changing stations. As soon as he’s laid down on one, it’s like we’ve committed a terrible crime against him!

Has anyone experienced this? Is it a sensory thing, stranger anxiety, disliking the hard/cold surface, lights, or something else? I’d love to know if this is a phase or if anyone found a way to make it easier.

This is now the fifth time in a row. My son is 5 months old (this started around 4 months) and whenever we have to change his nappy on a public changing station, he cries absolutely hysterically. Not just fussing but full screaming at the top of his lungs.

It’s happened at the airport, restaurants, and the doctor’s office. I even brought the same fluffy changing mat covers that we use at home to make it feel familiar, but it made no difference.

At home, he’s completely fine. He’s playful, kicking, smiling, and generally don’t care nappy changes. He’s only ever changed by me or my husband, and he’s always supervised. I’d say I do about 90% of his nappy changes, usually in our bedroom.

The only common factor seems to be public changing stations. As soon as he’s laid down on one, it’s like we’ve committed a terrible crime against him!

Has anyone experienced this? Is it a sensory thing, stranger anxiety, disliking the hard/cold surface, lights, or something else? I’d love to know if this is a phase or if anyone found a way to make it easier.

This is now the fifth time in a row. My son is 5 months old (this started around 4 months) and whenever we have to change his nappy on a public changing station, he cries absolutely hysterically. Not just fussing but full screaming at the top of his lungs.

It’s happened at the airport, restaurants, and the doctor’s office. I even brought the same fluffy changing mat covers that we use at home to make it feel familiar, but it made no difference.

At home, he’s completely fine. He’s playful, kicking, smiling, and generally don’t care nappy changes. He’s only ever changed by me or my husband, and he’s always supervised. I’d say I do about 90% of his nappy changes, usually in our bedroom.

The only common factor seems to be public changing stations. As soon as he’s laid down on one, it’s like we’ve committed a terrible crime against him!

Has anyone experienced this? Is it a sensory thing, stranger anxiety, disliking the hard/cold surface, lights, or something else? I’d love to know if this is a phase or if anyone found a way to make it easier.

Hello, I’m asking on behalf of a friend who doesn’t use Reddit.

Her husband inherited a small share of a property from his grandmother’s close friend after she passed away. He was close to her when he was a child, and only later discovered that this inheritance includes a small study room within her four-bedroom flat.

They are now in the process of buying their first home in the UK and initially believed they would qualify as first-time buyers. However, this inherited interest means they may no longer be classed as FTBs. (shock no. 1)

They had considered not declaring it, but her husband is paying tax on his share (2%, with his mother holding 98%) and prefers to be fully transparent, which he did. Their concern now is whether this could make them liable for higher stamp duty, including the additional surcharge. They have already agreed on a £700k property purchase and were prepared for standard higher stamp duty, but were not aware of this specific surcharge element (shock no. 2).

She is quite worried and it has caused some disagreement between them, so I thought I would ask here first.

Has anyone been in a similar situation, and what is the usual outcome in cases like this?

I am very curious!

Hello, I’m asking on behalf of a friend who doesn’t use Reddit.

Her husband inherited a small share of a property from his grandmother’s close friend after she passed away. He was close to her when he was a child, and only later discovered that this inheritance includes a small study room within her four-bedroom flat.

They are now in the process of buying their first home in the UK and initially believed they would qualify as first-time buyers. However, this inherited interest means they may no longer be classed as FTBs. (shock no. 1)

They had considered not declaring it, but her husband is paying tax on his share (2%, with his mother holding 98%) and prefers to be fully transparent, which he did. Their concern now is whether this could make them liable for higher stamp duty, including the additional surcharge. They have already agreed on a £700k property purchase and were prepared for standard higher stamp duty, but were not aware of this specific surcharge element (shock no. 2).

She is quite worried and it has caused some disagreement between them, so I thought I would ask here first.

Has anyone been in a similar situation, and what is the usual outcome in cases like this?

I am very curious!

I need visa extension but when I received my Certificate of Sponsorship from NHS england, I discovered that it contains someone else's details rather than mine.

I have already contacted sponsorship team (three times!!!!) and informed them of the issue. My current visa is due to expire soon, and I am concerned about potential delays while they correct the error and issue a new CoS.

Has anyone experienced something similar before?? Is there anything else I should be doing while waiting for the new CoS?Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated.

I’m going on a 6-hour road trip (one way) and need a bag that can fit both my Momcozy M6 and Eufy Baby breast pumps, including their cases, a bottle warmer and bottle cooler. My Stanley water tumbler. And also extra diaper/clothes and a nappy sac. Does anyone have recommendations for a bag roomy enough to hold both? Ideally something that also has space for other bits and pieces. TIA!

Trying to decide between:

• Kit & Kin: 128 nappies for £29.56
• Peachies: 168 nappies for £56

Kit & Kin works out much cheaper per nappy, but I keep hearing people rave about Peachies for leak protection/blowouts. Baby has sensitive skin but also starting to pee like crazy lately and a lot of diarrhoea after his vaccinations.

For those who’ve tried both — is Peachies actually worth almost double the price? Or should I just stick with Kit & Kin and save the money?

Would love honest parent opinions before I bulk buy

Hi guys!
New FTM here
Last night I realised I’d ran out of cotton wool pads/balls that I use to dry baby’s bottom after wipes. I tried toilet roll but it left bits behind, then used makeup cotton pads which didn’t feel quite right either 😅

What do you all use as an alternative? And does anyone skip cotton wool altogether?

I’m a first-time mum to a 4-month-old and I’m preparing for a major postgraduate exam in July.

I’m exhausted and honestly starting to resent my partner.

I have repeatedly told him (multiple times, very clearly) that I need protected study time every day. I even made a schedule with exact hours (8:30–10:30 daily). He agrees in the moment… and then still books gym, swimming, social plans, etc during that time or just leaves me alone with the baby anyway doing his work on computer. I made bottles for the baby in the fridge but when the baby cries he still comes and asks me if I’d prefer the breast feeding as baby might fall asleep quickly on the breast!

He helps in “bits” (housework, occasional cooking, sometimes taking the baby for walks), but the reality is I’m still the default parent almost all day and I’m not getting the uninterrupted focused study time I need. And that is the main issue. For last three days I came down with a nasty bug so I STOPPED cooking completely (deliberately) and also sleeping in separate room at night so baby can sleep with him.

The situation now is:
- he is going on a week-long trip to Paris with friends
- we have family visiting in June
- we have a non-refundable anniversary trip (which honestly feels like more work than rest right now)

I feel like my entire life is childcare + trying to study in fragments + managing everything while he still has his normal life, gym, travel, etc.

I’m starting to feel really disconnected from him emotionally. When he says “I love you” it honestly doesn’t land anymore because I feel so unsupported and overwhelmed most of the time.

I don’t even know what I’m asking anymore. Is this normal new-parent imbalance that I just have to accept? Or is it reasonable to expect actual protected daily time where I’m not on baby duty or interrupted? I am not like this, but I am trying to think ways I could avoid cooking or doing anything for him so he realises how much I do for him!

Because right now I feel like I’m drowning and he’s still living a relatively normal life around it.

Hi everyone,

We’re doing a 5-hour road trip soon and I also have an exam coming up, so I was wondering if there’s anything you can attach to the front passenger seat that would let me safely use my laptop while travelling?

There’s a lot of space in front of the passenger seat, so I thought maybe some kind of tray/table setup exists. I don’t really want to bend my knees up and balance the laptop on them because it doesn’t feel safe or comfortable, especially for that long.

Has anyone tried something like this before?
What would you recommend?

Hi everyone,

I’d really appreciate some advice on a IDT date dilemma.

My joining window in new deanery is between 5th August and 6th October. I’m currently on maternity leave, and by August I’ll be around 7 months postpartum. I’m unsure whether it’s better to request a slightly later start (closer to October) or just begin training in August as planned.

Has anyone been in a similar situation, either starting a bit later within the window ?
How will this impact the IDT outcome, could they still reject if this will be the case?

Any insights or experiences would be really helpful. Thank you so much in advance! 🙂

Hi all,

I notice Tesla charge £9.99/month for Premium Connectivity — things like live traffic, Spotify/streaming, satellite maps, and browser access over LTE.

Without it, you're basically stuck with Bluetooth and basic features. With it, you're paying nearly £120/year just to use the car's built-in infotainment properly.

For those of you who have it (or had it and cancelled): is it actually worth it? Can you get by just fine hotspotting from your phone instead? Or is the in-car experience noticeably worse without it?

Would love to hear from UK owners especially. Thanks!