u/elliethr

Don’t forget to set a reminder with the bot for like 15 years from now or so.

(by old self I mean like pre HRT/early HRT)

Chiedo perché vorrei iniziare ad essere seguita da un endo, ma leggendo qui vedo sempre parlare di cipionato e valerato, quindi volevo capire se esistesse una farmacia galenica che fa l’enantato(magari con fiale da 40mg/ml), essendo che mi ci sto trovando molto bene e non vorrei cambiare.

I am asking for your opinion because, as a trans woman who has had bottom dysphoria for a while, I would love to get bottom surgery but it just feels too hard. It’s not even the money to be the issue, my family has told me that they would even sell the house if it was necessary to make me live better, and the waiting times are bad but not the main issue either(even if knowing that the surgeon that seems to be the best around me, Marcio Littleton, has a 3 years waiting list that just gets longer and longer doesn’t help), the worst part is the recovery. It just seems impossible, even if I know it would massively improve my mental health long term, I don’t think I would be able to get through it. And this makes me feel even worse.

So I was wondering if bottom surgery really is the only way to get rid of that dysphoria, or if there’s a chance that it somehow gets better enough that I won’t need to go through all that just to feel ok in my body. Since I’ve started HRT almost a month ago things have been going well and my mind is already a better place to be, since I have been able to focus on the good things, but for like a month prior to starting my mental health was at its all-time worst and the bottom dysphoria was the main reason, now I fear it will come back one day at full force and not leave until I get surgery.

This is gonna be a long post, it's meant to be a long post and is a mix of a help request, a vent and just sharing what I found and my family's history(one side of it), I'd really appreciate if at least one person stops and reads through it though. I usually use a dedicated account for this(if you see other posts about the people in here, that's still me on my alt). I just need to write about all this because I feel like I will go insane.

Sorry if this will be messy.

About 8 months ago, I really got into this whole genealogy thing, did some early research and chose FamilySearch as the website to start my tree(don't worry this is not a rant about the website, my experience with it had been great so far), mainly for two reasons: the fact that it is just one big shared tree, and the fact that all its records are free. One of the things I like the most is that maybe some distant relatives will eventually find my tree, and see the pictures and stuff I keep adding everyday(still haven't done much in terms of writing about my relatives' lives and uploading family pictures though).

My research started by adding as much as I knew and then go on from there, I think I got pretty lucky, because I had a picture my great-grandfather took of the little family mausoleum in Fiume(Rijeka), which gave me the exact dates of death and birth for quite a lot of relatives.

The first wall I hit was with the father of said great-grandfather, Lucius Florian Toth (https://www.familysearch.org/it/tree/person/details/P719-KK1), all I knew about him before this was that he lived in Vienna, away from the rest of the family, I didn't even know his name for sure, I didn't know whether it was Luzius or Lucius.

I don't know if it was his name that made me feel like that or the fact that he was, in fact, the only relative(up to the great-great-grandfathers) I knew so little yet heard so often of, some of the others weren't even really mentioned when talking about family, so it didn't bother me as much not to know. There is also to say that by the time the mystery had grew big enough to bother me I also knew more than enough about the others, while he was only a name in the family tree.

Then something clicked, I tried to look up his name on Ancestry and MyHeritage, and that's where I saw that there were records about him available online, so I made a free trial and started going through the documents, at that point he became my only focus for quite a while, and, to be honest, he still is the relative I am the most interested in, by far.

I don't know much about his (only, since he apparently was an illegitimate child) parent, a user here found his birth certificate which listed only his mother, Theresia Toth, who appeared to be a resident of Salzburg, daughter of Michael Toth and Anna Schmund. This is a probably gonna be my next brick wall to try to break through. He was born in Sankt Peter-Freienstein, Styria though, so I have no idea where his mother could have been born. This birth certificate also made me find out that he died on 16/3/1961, which is 6 months before his burial date, and that he left the catholic church a year prior to his death, in 1960.

I found out that he was a CEO or director of a company in Vienna, the Radio-Gesellschaft m.b.H., for quite a few years and an engineer. I found his burial date on Friedhofe Wien and where he went at school, which also allowed me to contact both schools, the TU Graz and the SPS a VOS Chomutov, to get photos of all his school records.

I am now awaiting a reply from the Wien archives to see if it would be worth it to get his death certificate(they charge 35/half a hour, but I have pretty exact info on him, so it shouldn't take them long to find it).

But there is one thing that surprised me far more than anything else I found out about him: he had bought a house with Adele Cmelinsky, I had (and kinda still have) no idea about who this woman was, before reading the article on the Wiener Zeitung I had never heard about her, no one did(I mean, some people surely did, my great-grandparents on that side of the family for example, but they have been dead for over 25 years at this point and had never spoke about her). By doing some research on her name I managed to find out that this woman ran a music school under her name in Vienna, the Schule Adele Cmelinsky, and that she was also listed in the Musikverein archive, since she performed some auditions or whatever in the Brahms Saal.

A few days ago, I made a post asking for help with her on Facebook, and a very kind user found a baptism certificate about 'Adelhaid Cmelinsky', born in 1892 and died in 1971, the time frame in which she lived is exactly the one I am looking for, Cmelinsky wasn't exacly a common name in Vienna and it seems like abbreviating Adhelaid to Adele wasn't that weird.

I did some (limited, since I can only use the info from Friedhofe Wien and the Ancestry previews, since I don't have the subscription) research and I managed to build a small family tree for her too (https://www.familysearch.org/it/tree/person/details/P6XH-6WQ), but I still kept her as a separate person, since I'm a bit scared of her not being the Adele I am looking for.

At the moment I am trying to find a way to ask someone in Vienna if they can go to her family grave's coordinates to get a picture of it, to see if it is abandoned or if someone(a living relative?) left flowers or something like that anytime recently.

Now the thing that makes me feel like I will go insane: today I looked once again through the photo books my great-grandmother made, the ones in which there are the photos of her with my great-grandfather and his father, Lucius, she wrote the location next to all photos, and there are some people that I have no clue of who they might be.

There is a few people who are in Knittelfeld, they probably were relatives, but on my tree there doesn't seem to be anyone from there. There are others in Graz, but same thing. Then there is one in particular, which says 'Cousins from Vienna'. I have no clue about who these cousins are or might be, none of my family was born in Vienna and the only person that I know that lived there is Lucius.

I even got to the point of thinking that maybe these 'cousins' are actually Adele's siblings(she had at least two), but it seems like a hypothesis driven more by desperation than logic.

I don't know what to do, I'm just desperate, there are so many things I don't know about in this tree and I can't accept that I may never know. Any kind of help would be useful(please check what is already on the FamilySearch profiles to avoid looking for records that have already been found).

And this was just one relative, out of lots of them.

If anyone actually read all this, I want to say that I'm extremely grateful that you took your time to read through my messy post ❤️

Ciao, pochi giorni fa ho iniziato la terapia ormonale facendo DIY, e volevo sapere se qualcuno di voi conoscesse endo che non fanno storie quando gli si dice di aver iniziato così, non mi servirebbe particolarmente per la parte medica quanto per l’eventuale relazione che mi potrebbero chiedere per cambiare documenti. Avevo letto di Stella Bernardi a Trieste ma non credo faccia online.

I barely remember the last time I actually learnt to do something, like, really learnt, not just being able to kinda do it.

I know how to play a couple of songs on the guitar, but nothing past basic fingerpicked songs from The Last of Us Part 2, I can use Photoshop and Illustrator, but again, not much past the basic stuff, I don’t think I could sell my skills on Fiverr or similar for example.

A couple years ago I was getting pretty good at Rainbow Six Siege, but then I got bored of it and now I am just a shell of the player I once was. I also really like simracing, but I am quite bad at it, I can learn a track or two with a car, but then it’s like my skill vanishes and I can’t keep up with others at all(I mainly race in iRacing, which is a online sim in which each “series” runs at each track for a week in a 12 weeks rotation), when I learn a track I’m not even that bad at it, I’m slightly above the average rating, it’s just that I can’t learn more than the first couple of tracks I race at when I come back once every few months.

In the past few months I tried to learn Blender, Godot and the Euro Truck Simulator 2 Map Editor, but for these I couldn’t even follow the basic tutorials, like, I’d try to copy exactly what they were doing but somehow something was always wrong, I also tried to follow the tutorials while also changing some stuff, to actually try learning to use the tools instead of just learning to copy step-by-step instructions, but I would just end up making everything much more complex.

And even if I get past the first basics steps, I just end up losing all the interest and motivation after spending like 3 days focused on whatever I was trying to learn and almost nothing else.

How can I improve my learning skills?

TL;DR: I can’t learn anything new and I don’t think there’s anything I can do \*really\* well.

Hello, I am currently trying to decide whether to buy the TSW or not, I really want it to complete my trucking setup but at the same time I don't know if it is comfortable to use with the base clamp, since I can't use the truck clamp, as having to switch between the two when I want to race and when I want to drive a truck would be too much of a hassle.

So, do you think it is still worth it to buy it to use it in the same position as any other wheel?

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Ciao, a breve(<1 mese) dovrei iniziare la terapia ormonale, il mio piano ideale sarebbe quello di farmi seguire da un endo qualsiasi nel caso ci fossero problemi di vario tipo, ma facendo le iniezioni come se facessi diy, il punto è che non so se effettivamente esistano endo così, teoricamente avrei tra qualche settimana l’appuntamento con la Botte, ma c’è la possibilità che lo debba annullare per colpa della psicologa che sta prendendo tempo per fare il nullaosta.

In ogni caso non posticiperò l’inizio della TOS e, come ho detto prima, non so se ci siano endo come servirebbero a me, quindi volevo chiedere se è davvero possibile ottenere la rettifica anagrafica senza TOS(anche se solo “ufficialmente”, visto che farei il DIY), so che è successo ma volevo capire se fosse una possibilità realistica in tutte le città o solo in qualcuna con i giudici più competenti.

Domanda bonus: se è possibile farlo senza, appunto, la TOS, quando dovrei iniziare a muovermi a riguardo, so che è ci vuole abbastanza e vorrei evitare di perdere tempo(questa domanda vale comunque anche nel caso in cui non fosse possibile senza endo, visto che comunque, prima o poi, spero di trovarne un*)