u/euphoricpwincess

Hi guys,

I’m in my early 20s, never dated or hooked up with anyone (saying this to make sure yall know I did nothing with the guys friend)

I recently started talking to a guy, he approached me, he’s the one who showered interest, he initiated all conversations and was even planning our meetup.

Then he ignores me for a day and comes back to tell me that his friend told him he knew me and spoke for a while. I was like yes we used to text each other in college but we never met, we eventually stopped talking and it’s been 3 years since we spoke.

Long story short, he proceeded to tell me it’ll get too complicated in the future, they’re in the same friend group and he apologized for doing this to me. I said fine and removed him.

Is this normal? I never met his friend or did anything with him.

(It’s a little long but I wanted to share what happened between us, I’m in my early 20s)

In 2023, a guy from college messaged me on Instagram saying he thought I was cute. He initially said he wasn’t looking for anything serious, so I suggested we stop talking, but he asked to stay friends instead. We ended up talking for hours every day for months. During that time, he opened up about deeply personal parts of his life - his childhood, family issues, past relationships, therapy, dyslexia, and the struggles he faced because of it. Despite saying he only wanted friendship at first, he constantly tried to take things further and repeatedly asked me out.

I was inexperienced with dating, had never been in a relationship, and was nervous about meeting him in person. He was persistent, even suggesting breakfast dates if evening plans felt too intimidating. After a few months, he made a heartfelt confession, telling me how strongly he felt about me, that he could see himself being in a relationship with me, and that I had become the first person he wanted to talk to whenever something good or bad happened in his life.

Eventually, my continued reluctance to meet made him suspicious that I was hiding something. He started asking people about me, which led to an argument that spiraled into a much bigger fallout. In the heat of it, he said he had forced himself to fall for me, he was convincing himself that I’m the one for him, that he thought he loved me, that I wasn’t what he wanted, and that I lived under a shell and didn’t even know myself. After that, he blocked me on everything.

Seven months later, after he had unblocked me, I reached out and asked if we could meet. He responded kindly and even suggested getting coffee, but repeatedly postponed the plans. Eventually, I sent him an apology over text. He apologized too, said he thought I was a good person, and explained that he now had a girlfriend he really liked and felt it would be inappropriate to continue talking to me. He still continued to like our old messages, watch my stories on Instagram without us even following each other - this happened for months end even after grad.

Around that same time, my former best friend became friends with him and, from what I heard, spoke negatively about me, but I chose not to get involved and moved on with my life.

A few months later, my former best friend insisted on meeting me and, despite my asking her not to, repeatedly brought him up. She claimed he was interested in her and that his family had even approached hers about a potential marriage in the future. I don’t know what I felt when she shared that but I suppressed all emotions and left. I tried dating, had my first kiss but that’s about it.

About a year later, I started talking to another guy who seemed interested in me. He later revealed that he was friends with the guy from college and said pursuing anything with me would make things really complicated and weird between them. When I mentioned that the first guy was supposedly getting engaged to my former friend, he dismissed it and said the guy had been single for months and had previously been dating someone else. Idk why she lied. Again I suppressed whatever I felt and just left. It’s been 7 months since.

It’s 2026 now. We had an alumni meet the other day and I actually saw him in flesh after 3 years. I don’t know, I felt like I was gonna have a stroke, I immediately left but I saw him constantly staring at me for the few minutes I was there and the energy was just so heavy. Idk I just had a breakdown after reaching home, I kept on crying and crying. It’s been 24 hours and I’m still not out of it. It almost feels like all suppressed emotions are finally showing up? I have so much pent up regret idk.

Idk what to do? I asked a few of my girls and they were like pretend nothing happened and go find another guy but I don’t think that’s gonna work. Should I try talking to him? Is it even worth it? There’s another event coming up, should I walk up to him?

I was in a talking stage with a guy from college when I was a junior. We never dated or were in a relationship but we spoke to each other for hours everyday to a point where we both opened about ourselves quite a bit. He also confessed his feelings for me and told me that he really likes me, thinks I’m the one for me, and is open to pursuing a long term relationship with me. However, we got into a huge fight and stopped talking to each other after.

We spoke to each other months later during senior year just before graduation and long story short - we both mutually apologized. He was seeing someone else then and eventually I began to talk to other guys too.

Even then he’d like old messages out of nowhere, watch my insta stories randomly (we don’t follow each other) etc but I never really thought much about those things.

It’s been 3 years since we had an actual conversation. I recently started talking to a guy who attended a completely different university across the country. He seemed extremely into me, would want to talk to me all the time, and seemed like a sweet person in general. A few days later, he was like he told his friend about me and apparently his friend told him that he knew me and spoke for a while (turns out the friend is the guy I had a talking stage with 3 years ago) I was like “oh it’s been so long since then, we never even went on an actual date”

Idk the guy seemed super uncomfortable and he was like “I’m so sorry but it’ll just get too complicated in the future. Things will get so weird between my friend and me.” I told him I understand and immediately stopped talking to him.

Here’s the thing though, it’s pretty common in my college and their circle for people to date around, so many cases of people dating others exes, they’re all very chill / open minded and I’m technically not even an ex or anything substantial, just a girl he spoke to in the beginning of 2023 so it’s been more than 3 years… we legit never even grabbed coffee.

Idk what to make of this? How’ll it be even complicated? Is it possible that he could still like me?

I was in a talking stage with a guy from college when I was a junior. We never dated or were in a relationship but we spoke to each other for hours everyday to a point where we both opened about ourselves quite a bit. He also confessed his feelings for me and told me that he really likes me, thinks I’m the one for me, and is open to pursuing a long term relationship with me. However, we got into a huge fight and stopped talking to each other after.

We spoke to each other months later during senior year just before graduation and long story short - we both mutually apologized. He was seeing someone else then and eventually I began to talk to other guys too.

Even then he’d like old messages out of nowhere, watch my insta stories randomly (we don’t follow each other) etc but I never really thought much about those things.

It’s been 3 years since we had an actual conversation. I recently started talking to a guy who attended a completely different university across the country. He seemed extremely into me, would want to talk to me all the time, and seemed like a sweet person in general. A few days later, he was like he told his friend about me and apparently his friend told him that he knew me and spoke for a while (turns out the friend is the guy I had a talking stage with 3 years ago) I was like “oh it’s been so long since then, we never even went on an actual date”

Idk the guy seemed super uncomfortable and he was like “I’m so sorry but it’ll just get too complicated in the future. Things will get so weird between my friend and me.” I told him I understand and immediately stopped talking to him.

Here’s the thing though, it’s pretty common in my college and their circle for people to date around, so many cases of people dating others exes, they’re all very chill / open minded and I’m technically not even an ex or anything substantial, just a girl he spoke to in the beginning of 2023 so it’s been more than 3 years… we legit never even grabbed coffee.

Idk what to make of this? How’ll it be even complicated? Is it possible that he could still like me?

I’ve feeding a bunch of dogs in my neighborhood everyday for the last few months. I especially have a soft spot for this one dog and he’s always the first one who is fed and he’s usually always in this one lane and he immediately comes to me when he sees me.

The lane in which he usually is has some sort of construction going on for the last week but he was still around. However, for the last 2 days I cannot seem to find him. I went on multiple rounds calling his name but he just wasn’t there. I expanded my radius, even went early in the morning when these dogs move in packs, also went at night, searched under vehicles but I just cannot find him

Is 2 days a long time? Do street dogs eventually come back? Is it normal?

I was best friends with a girl for years before I cut her off because things got too overwhelming for me and it didn’t make sense for me to carry on with a friendship that was weighing me down.

It’s been almost a year since I cut her off. She’d randomly email me, call me from new numbers, and do all that but I never initiated anything myself.

Recently she asked if we could meet and sent a long paragraph. I had her stuff with me which I was hoarding for the last year so I thought I’ll just go, give her stuff, and talk to her briefly.

Anyway in the convo she brought my ex up 3 times after I clearly told her I don’t want to talk about him. She even asked if I was sure I didn’t wanna talk, why I didn’t want to and I just gave really diplomatic answers. After bringing his name up multiple times she told me that he’s flirting with her, he’s crazy for her, he told all his family about her to a point where his mom approached her dad at some event and was like her son has never spoken about a girl in this way, he speaks so highly of her, they like her too as she’s so sweet and well spoken and they were convinced that they can not find a better daughter in law or wife for him as not only is she so brilliant but she cones from an amazing family too.

When I tell you - she didn’t stop. She went on and on without taking a breath and then she finally was like but my dad told his mom that I’m so young and I have to study more, make a career, then we’ll decide

My reply to all this was “ohh okay, hmm” I didn’t even show any facial reaction

But ever since I came back I just feel off. Isn’t this so weird though? Why would she tell this to me? Idk I cannot wrap my head around it

I spoke to a guy in 2023 for a few months (Jan to March) We both were in the same college and same year. All our conversations were on Instagram or WhatsApp. We never met even though he asked me to go on dates with him multiple times. I’d say we were in a talking stage - we’d speak for hours daily and kind of got close to each other. He confessed his feelings to me, I told him that I liked him too, and before things could turn into anything major we both got into a bad and heated argument and stopped talking to each other.

I approached him months later because I felt bad how things ended and how I might’ve hurt him. He immediately responded to me, he was talking in a nice manner, we planned meeting and he himself suggested coffee. However, he kept postponing it and I got the vibe that he’s just trying to be petty because I didn’t meet him when he wanted me to. Hence I ended up sending a long apology over text explaining everything and he apologized too and told me that he wasn’t able to come meet me because he’s got a gf, he apparently committed to her after I texted him, and it’ll be inappropriate to meet me given our past. I didn’t say anything because my apology text itself ended with a good bye. We never spoke after. Inka antha aipoyindhi, malli I’ll never even get to see him ani decide ayenu.

Anyway, years later, in 2025, I started talking to a guy who went to college in a different country and na karma Enti ante, he somehow was friends with the guy anta. We stopped talking because he told me that he’s close to the guy and he told him that we used to talk for a while and we knew each other. The guy was like it’ll get too complicated if we keep talking so we both mutually decided to stop. Just oka 5-6 days matladenu so I didn’t care that much. What a small world ani lite theeskunna.

Now in 2026, we had an alumni meet up (for 3 days) this past weekend and I was so excited for it and I flew to a different city to attend it. It was initially going well, I was networking etc. He was there in attendance too but I didn’t engage with him. Asala thelinate unna.

I’m at an age where most people (80% of my friends) are dating so I kinda am always hopeful that I’ll meet the one one day or the other because I’ve been single all my life. As I was talking to people, I realized that he told a few guys that we used to “talk” and idk that triggered me so much because yes we talked more than 3 years age on insta but what about it… what came out of it? Matladi em chesam? We never even met. It’s not like I’m his ex.

Idk it felt like something I haven’t even done was weighing me down or following me. I approached the guy and before we could even make small talk, I told him hey I’d appreciate if you stop telling people we talked. He was saying something but I just couldn’t be more annoyed. I was like bro enough, just stop this, I’ve had enough, I’m done, inka entha kalam all this over an insta talking stage etc etc and I’m sure my face displayed a great level of annoyance.

It’s been some time since and I’m overthinking the day / the conversation and I feel like shit. Idk if I was rude or if it was justified? I mean we did talk so it wasn’t a lie but idk why I got triggered at him mentioning it

I spoke to a guy in 2023 for a few months (Jan to March) We both were in the same college and same year. All our conversations were on Instagram or WhatsApp. We never met even though he asked me to go on dates with him multiple times. I’d say we were in a talking stage - we’d speak for hours daily and kind of got close to each other. He confessed his feelings to me, I told him that I liked him too, and before things could turn into anything major we both got into a bad and heated argument and stopped talking to each other.

I approached him months later because I felt bad how things ended and how I might’ve hurt him by dodging meeting him despite his many attempts. He immediately responded to me, he was talking in a nice manner, we planned meeting and he himself suggested coffee. However, he kept postponing it and I got the vibe that he’s just trying to be petty because I didn’t meet him when he wanted me to. Hence I ended up sending a long apology over text explaining everything and he apologized too and told me that he wasn’t able to come meet me because he’s got a gf, he apparently committed to her after I texted him, and it’ll be inappropriate to meet me given our past. I didn’t say anything because my apology text itself ended with a good bye. We never spoke after.

So much other drama happened when we were at college after that like my ex bestfriend befriending him after I cut him off, them both talking and her insinuating stuff by claiming he’s into her, he’s trying to get with her, him staring at me in college to a point it felt weird, him stalking me using a burner account on Instagram.

Anyway, years later, in 2025, I started talking to a guy who went to college in a different country and lo and behold, he somehow was friends with the guy. We stopped talking because he told me that he’s close to the guy who told him that we used to talk for a while and we knew each other. The guy was like it’ll get too complicated if we keep talking so we both mutually decided to stop. We barely spoke for a week and it was just texting so I didn’t really care much.

Now in 2026, we had an alumni meet up (for 3 days) this past weekend and I was so excited for it and I flew to a different city to attend it. It was initially going well, I was networking etc. He was there in attendance too but I didn’t engage with him.

I’m at an age where most people (80% of my friends) are dating so I kinda am always hopeful that I’ll meet the one one day or the other because I’ve been single all my life. As I was talking to people, I realized that he told a few guys that we used to “talk” and idk that triggered me so much because yes we talked more than 3 years age on insta but what about it… what came out of it? We never even met. It’s not like I’m his ex.

Idk it felt like something I haven’t even done was weighing me down or following me. I approached the guy and before we could even exchange pleasantries or make small talk, I told him hey I’d appreciate if you stop telling people we talked. He was saying something but I just couldn’t be more annoyed. I was like bro enough, just stop this, I’ve had enough, I’m done, all this over an insta talking stage etc etc and I’m sure my face displayed a great level of annoyance.

It’s been some time since and I’m overthinking the day / the conversation and I feel like shit. Idk if I was rude or if it was justified? I mean we did talk so it wasn’t a lie but idk why I got triggered at him mentioning it

I’m in my 20s. I have a brother who is 4 years younger than me.

After I graduated college, I couldn’t land a job for almost a year. (There was no culture of placements where I studied) I was stressed, depressed, got 4-5 hours of sleep, I wouldn’t go out to eat or celebrate any occasions - I was just surviving. I started my own start up during that time and everyone laughed like this is what unemployed do. Antha oka pedha show, chesedhi emi undadhu. Not one person helped me out and on top of that they’d mock me for how I was supposedly called the smarty pants of the family and there I was jobless. 10th lo, inter lo, college lo top chesi avasaram em mundhi ani chala satires undevi.

My brother was in college when this took place. His fees were fully paid, they were sending him to many coaching places too, he recently got a play station, a MacBook, parents would give him money whenever he asked, he was living a very comfortable life.

This might seem trivial to most but there was an ice cream cart on the road and I would feed stray dogs, get them spayed, put on reflective collars etc and I was on my daily rounds to feed them some kibble and my brother accompanied me. I was next to him feeding and he just bought an ice cream for himself and started eating it. I was like you didn’t get one for me? And I was genuinely disappointed because everyone knows how much I love that stuff and I was the kind who’d get him everything I was getting like anywhere I would go, I’d get two of each so he gets to have it too and even when I cook, I make sure to feed him too. I was like you could’ve at least asked right? It was the least you could do. I just asked him why and reminded that I get him everything I get for myself. Then he proceeded to throw the ice cream on my face, kind of strangled me, and started yelling out of nowhere and said some pretty abusive things including how I was an unemployed idiot who lives off her dad, how I’m a waste of existence, because of having a sibling like me he has to suffer everyday anyway because I’m so useless and cannot earn a rupee, why would anyone get me anything. He’s 6’3 and I’m almost a foot shorter than me so when he held my shoulders and started shaking me on the road, I lost control over my body. Asala em avthundo ardam kaledhu for a second and he was yelling so andharu chusthunaru kuda.

He later said sorry after my mom asked him to but that’s one incident I can never ever get out of my mind. After that incident he pretended nothing happened. He was playing his video games, talking to his friends, going out and chilling but I was visibly shaken. It’s been a while now and I try to look past it but something changed in my brain chemistry that day and I changed as a person. He said mean things before too and did stuff before too like when we both were home alone and I was lying there sick and wasn’t even able to stand properly, he ordered swiggy for himself and I was there all day with no food until my parents came home but nothing affected me the way the ice cream incident did.

Initially it was just me ignoring him and only looking after myself like I stopped giving him recommendations about the stock market, stopped cooking for him, stopped getting him anything from the store - just created a boundary. Later I found a job, also got my start up funded, started earning really well. Now it’s gotten to where my dad approached me to find him an internship this summer or recommend him to a friend of mine or give advice regarding what certifications he should get - and I just don’t want to do anything. Like anything. I don’t feel like benefitting him in any way.

I mean if he gets something on his own merit, I’m happy for him, I don’t care but I don’t want to be the one giving it to him on a platter. I don’t even want to be there for anything. Asala matladali ani kuda anipichatledhu. Even if he tries to talk or say something, na mind adhi automatic ga fake ani declare chestadhi and I find it very hard to even listen to what he’s saying.

My moms like I’m dramatic, duram penchuthuna, I’ll have no close ones later etc ani and I try to get over it but emo im not able to

I’m in my 20s. I have a brother who is 4 years younger than me.

I graduated college 2 years ago and I couldn’t land a job for almost a year. I was stressing, depressed, surviving on 4-5 hours of sleep, I wouldn’t go out to eat or celebrate any occasions - I was just surviving. Not one person helped me out and on top of that they’d mock me for how I was supposedly called the smarty pants of the family and there I was jobless.

This incident might seem trivial to most but there was an ice cream cart on the road and I would feed stray dogs, get them spayed, put on reflective collars etc and I was on my daily rounds to feed them some kibble and my brother accompanied me. I was next to him feeding and he just bought an ice cream for himself and started eating it. I was like you didn’t get one for me? And I was genuinely disappointed because everyone knows how much I love that stuff and I was the kind who’d get him everything I was getting like anywhere I would go, I’d get two of each so he gets to have it too and even when I cook, I make sure to feed him too. I was like you could’ve at least asked right? It was the least you could do. I just asked him why and reminded that I get him everything I get for myself. Then he proceeded to throw the ice cream on my face, kind of strangled me, and started yelling out of nowhere and said some pretty abusive things including how I was an unemployed idiot who lives off her dad, how I’m a waste of existence, because of having a sibling like me he has to suffer everyday anyway because I’m so useless and cannot earn a rupee, why would anyone get me anything.

He later said sorry after my mom asked him to but that’s one incident I can never ever get out of my mind. Like I try to look past it but something changed in my brain chemistry that day and I changed as a person. He said mean things before too and did stuff before too like when we both were home alone and I was lying there sick and wasn’t even able to stand properly, he ordered swiggy for himself and I was there all day with no food until my parents came home but nothing affected me the way the ice cream incident did.

Initially it was just me ignoring him and only looking after myself like I stopped giving him recommendations about the stock market, stopped cooking for him, stopped getting him anything from the store - just created a boundary. Now it’s gotten to a point where my dad approached me to find him an internship or recommended him to a friend of mine or give advice regarding what certifications he should get - and I just don’t want to do anything. Like anything. I don’t feel like benefitting him in any way.

On one hand I’m like that’s my little brother and I have to help him but there’s another probably selfish and bruised part of me which doesn’t let me… I mean if he gets something on his own merit, I’m happy for him, I don’t care but I don’t want to be the one giving it to him on a platter. I don’t even want to be there for anything.

AITK?