Everyday I have to get up and do something I don't want to do I have to study constantly I've been studying geometry for days and I still don't understand it I'm tired of this I just want to die
So I got back into watching anime and I got a new phone so I went to Crunchyroll I forgot how greedy this app is. I'm not paying them a dime everything requires premium now
Fuck Teddy I can't believe fox subbed out agi. I don't know who this anyanakoji rip off feeling like but I can't wait till isagi cooks his ass
​
I'm 18 male I've just recently turned 18 but it doesn't feel as good as I thought I would be .
Ever since I was Little my mother had always been harsh she'd hot us a lot with anything she could find and for a good while until we were crying a lot I guess to her that's what she felt it was valid.
She dropped me and my 9 siblings out of school because we were moving I was around 10 at the time and a phew if my siblings were older the oldest being 14 said time I was a quiet kid I never talked to Manay kids my age only ever spoke up when it was time to answer a question.
I regret that to this day because I never once had a friend and my mother never enrolled us back into school and when I would complain she tell me to "stop bitching and moaning\* or when is get emotional she's say \* I'm acting sassy\* or "like a girl" so I've learned at a young age to keep my emotions to myself.
She'd sometimes starve us specifically me and my brother a year younger than me for a couple days to teach us a lesson for not cleaning up the house sometimes id feel extremely sick.
I also had problems with my gut so I couldn't eat certain foods so I'd ask my mother can she get the foods I can eat she'd agree but later in the day would say she forgot then would order pizza I couldn't eat the pizza given my gut so I had to just sleep it off.
I felt extremely bad and left out from my family so I stoped talking for a while most of my family and my mother just called me " fake emo" the only two that didn't where the brothers I've mentioned previously but they didn't know how to comfort given my mother never taught us how do they just didn't say much to me until I've spoken first.
My mother would sometimes buy me good things so itert me conflicted sometimes I hated her so much I wanted to choke her the next I felt bad for her buying me things spending her money on me eventually I started hating myself for thinking that way and I would sometimes cry myself to sleep at the thought of being alone.
My mother had a boyfriend I was young I didn't like him too much but he was nice he does one day shot ten times I didn't know how to feel about that it wasn't like I knew him for a while so my mind just went blank.
As I mentioned she used to beat us allot over things we did wrong I once stole from a candy store and she beat me with a shoe so hard I was bleeding she made me stand in the corner as my other siblings laughed\*
She's stared multiple times how she wished she never had us and that she should of put us up for adoption she's even said sometimes she'll kill us . Every time we'd speak up shed tell us to be quiet or she would hit us.
She always threw it in our face how she sacrificed for us and she have breakdowns blaming it all on us.
Couple months ago she was beating up my brother who was a year younger them me pulling out his hair and hitting him I felt numb I didn't feel sympathy anymore and I knew that made me a bad person.
I still sided with my brother and I already stopped talking toy family for almost two years after a couple months of that they just stopped talking to me as a whole treating me like a ghost. My mother said I was enabling him by siding with him.
After a while of not talking she called me and my two brothers who still talked to me a room full of weirdos and that when I move out I'm still ain't going to be anything in life.
I've been living with them for all my life I haven't left the house in 8 years and I don't have a ID or so socials becausey mom never got them.
She suddenly started acting nice to me and treating like a decent human which left me in a weird spot I don't even see her as a mother anymore just a person taking care of me.
I had nothing to take my anger on so I would hurt myself to relieve stress when I get mad I do it.
Currently I'm still living with her because I have no other option I don't have any ID or anything like that and I haven't left the house or talked to anyone else in 8 years so I'm scared of talking.
I just feel so empty my Little sister almost died on choking and I didn't feel anything nothing at all I knew something was wrong with me. I want to stop living but I'm scared of death.
All I wanted was to feel loved to be hugged at night to cry into someones arms and they'll tell me it's okay I wanted the entire world to see my pain.
But more than anything I just want it all to stop and I know when I eventually live by myself I might gain the courage to end it.
​
I'm 18 male I've just recently turned 18 but it doesn't feel as good as I thought I would be .
Ever since I was Little my mother had always been harsh she'd hot us a lot with anything she could find and for a good while until we were crying a lot I guess to her that's what she felt it was valid.
She dropped me and my 9 siblings out of school because we were moving I was around 10 at the time and a phew if my siblings were older the oldest being 14 said time I was a quiet kid I never talked to Manay kids my age only ever spoke up when it was time to answer a question.
I regret that to this day because I never once had a friend and my mother never enrolled us back into school and when I would complain she tell me to "stop bitching and moaning" or when is get emotional she said " I'm acting sassy" or "like a girl" so I've learned at a young age to keep my emotions to myself.
She'd sometimes starve us specifically me and my brother a year younger than me for a couple days to teach us a lesson for not cleaning up the house sometimes id feel extremely sick.
Shed constantly compare me to other boys on how small I am and how I'll grow tall. But as I grew I didn't grow tall i was only 5,8 I felt so pathetic lie I couldn't even protect anyone I blamed myself for not eating better or stressing less for being so small.
I also had problems with my gut so I couldn't eat certain foods so I'd ask my mother can she get the foods I can eat she'd agree but later in the day would say she forgot then would order pizza I couldn't eat the pizza given my gut so I had to just sleep it off.
I felt extremely bad and left out from my family so I stoped talking for a while most of my family and my mother just called me " fake emo" the only two that didn't where the brothers I've mentioned previously but they didn't know how to comfort given my mother never taught us how do they just didn't say much to me until I've spoken first.
My mother would sometimes buy me good things so itert me conflicted sometimes I hated her so much I wanted to choke her the next I felt bad for her buying me things spending her money on me eventually I started hating myself for thinking that way and I would sometimes cry myself to sleep at the thought of being alone.
My mother had a boyfriend I was young I didn't like him too much but he was nice he does one day shot ten times I didn't know how to feel about that it wasn't like I knew him for a while so my mind just went blank.
As I mentioned she used to beat us allot over things we did wrong I once stole from a candy store and she beat me with a shoe so hard I was bleeding she made me stand in the corner as my other siblings laughed\*
She's stared multiple times how she wished she never had us and that she should of put us up for adoption she's even said sometimes she'll kill us . Every time we'd speak up shed tell us to be quiet or she would hit us.
She always threw it in our face how she sacrificed for us and she have breakdowns blaming it all on us.
Couple months ago she was beating up my brother who was a year younger them me pulling out his hair and hitting him I felt numb I didn't feel sympathy anymore and I knew that made me a bad person.
I still sided with my brother and I already stopped talking toy family for almost two years after a couple months of that they just stopped talking to me as a whole treating me like a ghost. My mother said I was enabling him by siding with him.
After a while of not talking she called me and my two brothers who still talked to me a room full of weirdos and that when I move out I'm still ain't going to be anything in life.
I've been living with them for all my life I haven't left the house in 8 years and I don't have a ID or so socials becausey mom never got them.
She suddenly started acting nice to me and treating like a decent human which left me in a weird spot I don't even see her as a mother anymore just a person taking care of me.
Currently I'm still living with her because I have no other option I don't have any ID or anything like that and I haven't left the house or talked to anyone else in 8 years so I'm scared of talking.
I just feel so empty my Little sister almost died on choking and I didn't feel anything nothing at all I knew something was wrong with me. I want to stop living but I'm scared of death.
All I wanted was to feel loved to be hugged at night to cry into someones arms and they'll tell me it's okay I wanted the entire world to see my pain.
But more than anything I just want it all to stop and I know when I eventually live by myself I might gain the courage to end it.
I'm 18 male I've just recently turned 18 but it doesn't feel as good as I thought I would be .
Ever since I was Little my mother had always been harsh she'd hot us a lot with anything she could find and for a good while until we were crying a lot I guess to her that's what she felt it was valid.
She dropped me and my 9 siblings out of school because we were moving I was around 10 at the time and a phew if my siblings were older the oldest being 14 said time I was a quiet kid I never talked to Manay kids my age only ever spoke up when it was time to answer a question.
I regret that to this day because I never once had a friend and my mother never enrolled us back into school and when I would complain she tell me to "stop bitching and moaning* or when is get emotional she's say * I'm acting sassy* or "like a girl" so I've learned at a young age to keep my emotions to myself.
She'd sometimes starve us specifically me and my brother a year younger than me for a couple days to teach us a lesson for not cleaning up the house sometimes id feel extremely sick.
I also had problems with my gut so I couldn't eat certain foods so I'd ask my mother can she get the foods I can eat she'd agree but later in the day would say she forgot then would order pizza I couldn't eat the pizza given my gut so I had to just sleep it off.
I felt extremely bad and left out from my family so I stoped talking for a while most of my family and my mother just called me " fake emo" the only two that didn't where the brothers I've mentioned previously but they didn't know how to comfort given my mother never taught us how do they just didn't say much to me until I've spoken first.
My mother would sometimes buy me good things so itert me conflicted sometimes I hated her so much I wanted to choke her the next I felt bad for her buying me things spending her money on me eventually I started hating myself for thinking that way and I would sometimes cry myself to sleep at the thought of being alone.
My mother had a boyfriend I was young I didn't like him too much but he was nice he does one day shot ten times I didn't know how to feel about that it wasn't like I knew him for a while so my mind just went blank.
As I mentioned she used to beat us allot over things we did wrong I once stole from a candy store and she beat me with a shoe so hard I was bleeding she made me stand in the corner as my other siblings laughed*
She's stared multiple times how she wished she never had us and that she should of put us up for adoption she's even said sometimes she'll kill us . Every time we'd speak up shed tell us to be quiet or she would hit us.
She always threw it in our face how she sacrificed for us and she have breakdowns blaming it all on us.
Couple months ago she was beating up my brother who was a year younger them me pulling out his hair and hitting him I felt numb I didn't feel sympathy anymore and I knew that made me a bad person.
I still sided with my brother and I already stopped talking toy family for almost two years after a couple months of that they just stopped talking to me as a whole treating me like a ghost. My mother said I was enabling him by siding with him.
After a while of not talking she called me and my two brothers who still talked to me a room full of weirdos and that when I move out I'm still ain't going to be anything in life.
I've been living with them for all my life I haven't left the house in 8 years and I don't have a ID or so socials becausey mom never got them.
She suddenly started acting nice to me and treating like a decent human which left me in a weird spot I don't even see her as a mother anymore just a person taking care of me.
Currently I'm still living with her because I have no other option I don't have any ID or anything like that and I haven't left the house or talked to anyone else in 8 years so I'm scared of talking.
I just feel so empty my Little sister almost died on choking and I didn't feel anything nothing at all I knew something was wrong with me. I want to stop living but I'm scared of death.
All I wanted was to feel loved to be hugged at night to cry into someones arms and they'll tell me it's okay I wanted the entire world to see my pain.
But more than anything I just want it all to stop and I know when I eventually live by myself I might gain the courage to end it.
When I was 10 I had no problem watching some of the wildest animes I could think of.
Now every time I watch reviews on animes and hear how bad they are I just gotta say fuck it and watch it.
this morality of mine is getting me no where plus anime was a huge part of my life and has helped with a lot of my boredom so screw it
I mean look at those arms I'm tryna get like this guy
Don't get me wrong I've been watching anime since I was 10 I'm 18 but for one the fam service and sexualization of women is crazy to me not only that but their always minors with big ass chest and can't think for themselves outside of the MC it's just mind boggling to me that people chalk or up to "it's just fictional it's not that deep" if that were the case why do people cry over anime or get excited? Not too mention more times than not there's a grown ass man writing behind the story if I'm being honest it feels as though women aren't even a human being just a sex doll that's there too look good. just a reminder I love anime but man it's getting hard to find ones I like anymore because this stuff just throws me off AND IM A GUY people need to stop defending these sort of things because if anything even close to that was in America it's getting cancelled quickly also keep in mind impressionable kids watch this this is painting a very dangerous narrative for Young children.
​
so I can watch him die
So basically I'm this dream there was a girl who liked me we hung out at my place alot but one day I came back and she killed herself she was hanging from a rope there were letters on the wall that spelled "your fault"
And that's saying a lot I don't cry for alot of things
I can't even describe it the story telling, the bosses, the music the ending everything about it was beautiful it's in my top 3 canto list along with canto 4 and 5
I forgot to mention but I loved that moment when Dante was at the end of their rope they didn't know what to do then the sinners stepped up.
To give a better description Like shows like rezero, steins, gate summertime rendering ,kekki sensen, erased, a silent voice, I wanna eat your pancreas, (I know those two are movies) rascal does not dream of bunny girl senpai.
Everything about it was so entertaining seeing Faust without her connection to the other Faust the bloodfeinds finally being revealed cassette putting belt to ass on the sinners it was almost as bad as Ricardo and finally Sancho I've been waiting so long for her to be shown maybe it's bias due to some of the first ever clips I've seen of project moon were sancho but I can't wait to start canto 7 everything about it I'm hyped about also sancho looks tuff as hell
Yup I'm am a looser at this point I'm straight up envious to the point of almost getting mad I don't even remember when it started but after a while of watching anime I begin to actually envy them about literally everything what has my life come to
I been thinking ever since I started working out at home ice been able to do 20 pushups no matter how long I've stopped working out it use to only be able to do like 4 now it raised to 20 it's pretty cool to think about I
As the title says I hate fan service not because I find it distasteful (sometimes it is) it's mainly because it's distracting. if I'm seriously trying to watch a show but I can't concentrate because my eyes keep wandering to somewhere else( the overly revealing outfits) for example take rezero I love rezero it's literally one of my top animes from the writing to the themes ect but in this new season I'm looking at shaula and I can't concentrate every time she's in screen. This was just something I always thought about, nothing major maybe it's just a skill issue.