u/fairwellfairground

I’m due in a few weeks, and we’re trying to work out how to safely manage life with a large dog and a baby/toddler over the coming years.

Until now, our dog has had free rein of the house, but since I got pregnant we’ve started making changes like installing baby gates and giving her her own sleeping space. It’s been an adjustment, and I know there will be a lot more management once the baby arrives.

My partner thinks they’ll eventually just coexist, but I’m a bit more cautious. From everything I’ve read, it seems like constant supervision and a fair amount of separation is the safest approach, especially once the baby becomes a mobile toddler.

We already know they’ll never be left alone together, so I’m not really asking about that. I’m more interested in how people manage things when everyone is together in the same space.

Our dog is a terrier/collie/Irish Wolfhound mix. She’s always been friendly with people and has never shown any aggression towards them. She isn’t clingy and will usually remove herself if things get too noisy. She is, however, anxious around some unfamiliar dogs and has a high prey drive towards small animals. She doesn’t have much experience with children so I’m concerned.

We’ll obviously be teaching our child to respect the dog’s space as they grow up, and we’ll continue training our dog around boundaries and calm behaviour.

I think my biggest worry is accidental injury rather than aggression. She’s large, incredibly fast, and can suddenly sprint if she hears something outside or gets the zoomies. I worry about her accidentally knocking over a toddler, or the baby crying startling her.

For those who’ve successfully managed a large dog and young children, what did your day-to-day setup look like? Are there any routines, house layouts, or lessons you wish you’d known from the start?

This is for those who are taking / have taken the full year maternity leave, and I don’t mean financially necessarily, more mentally.

I’m due to go on mat leave in a month and I’m not sure how I’ll feel about it. Obviously I know I’ll have a huge task of caring for a new baby and that will be work in itself…. but I’m wondering about the effect it will have on me not being tied to a career for a while.

I’ve worked full-time all my life and granted I work from home now but it’s still very much a 9 to 5 desk job where I’m dealing with daily deadlines. I’m also doing really well at my job right now and I am a little concerned about falling behind as when I return, I’m likely going to have to drop days due to childcare. At the same time, I think it will be a weight off my shoulders not having to deal with sacrificing 8 hours a day living to someone else’s priorities.

I suppose I’m wondering how people found the transition mentally. Did you miss work more than you expected, or did you find you embraced having a whole year focused on your baby? Did you struggle with losing that sense of routine or professional identity, or was it actually quite freeing?

I can’t imagine never having a career again but at the same time I can imagine me craving more of a work-life balance in future and that my priorities will shift massively when I become a mother.

I’m not looking for names that were hugely fashionable for a period and then declined (for example, names like Mary, Jennifer, or Linda that dominated their era).

Instead, I’m interested in names that have remained steadily popular across multiple generations… names that may have spent decades somewhere around the Top 50-100, never shooting to #1 but never falling far down the rankings either.

In other words, names that would feel perfectly at home on someone born in the 1920s, 1950s, 1980s, or 2020s. What are some of the best examples?

Edit: Looking for more subtly timeless names. I know names like Elizabeth and James etc have been popular for years but they’re in the top 10. Looking more for names that have stayed in the background but never became hugely popular or hugely unpopular.

I work remotely and my role expects me to travel for in-person meetings roughly once a month around the UK. Before pregnancy I always attended without complaint.

However, I will be 32 weeks pregnant when our next meeting takes place in London, and I really don’t want to go. The journey is about 3 hours each way by train, so if I travel there and back on the same day that’s over 6 hours of travel.

Physically, I’m finding pregnancy much harder now. I get pelvic and abdominal pains if I walk too much, I’m constantly tired, get breathless very easily, and my bladder feels permanently squashed. I’ve also been dealing with ongoing constipation, which makes the idea of being stuck on trains and in another city quite stressful.

Work have tried to accommodate me. They’ve offered to book a hotel the night before and said I can expense taxis so I don’t have to walk around London. The problem is that the hotel doesn’t really solve the issue for me. I sleep badly anyway, can’t really sleep without my giant pregnancy pillow, and the thought of being away from home at 32 weeks pregnant is making me anxious.

I also have an antenatal class that evening. Work have said I could leave the meeting early to make it back in time, but because of the travel time I’d need to leave around 3 hours before the meeting finishes, meaning I’d only actually be there for about 4 hours. The event itself is basically a team-bonding/business update day about plans for the year ahead. I’ll be starting maternity leave about 6 weeks later, so it doesn’t feel particularly essential for me to attend.

A couple of months ago my GP gave me a fit note saying I shouldn’t undertake long-distance travel, which work accepted, but that fit note has now expired and I haven’t been able to get it renewed. Since it expired, work’s position seems to be that because they’re offering accommodations (hotel, taxis, leaving early etc.) I should be able to attend.

Am I being unreasonable here? Part of me feels like I’m being difficult, but another part of me thinks that over 6 hours of travel for a non-essential meeting at 32 weeks pregnant is a lot to ask, especially when I’m already struggling physically.

It’s been several years since I’ve delved into a new graphic novel series but since I’m starting maternity leave in a few weeks I’m looking for some light reading to get me through!

Previously I’ve loved Saga, The Wicked + The Divine, Jem & the Holograms & Y: The Last Man.

I love character driven stories, with themes of love, friendship, identity, grief etc.
Not as keen on anything overly strategic, military or purely action-focused.

Anything new come out since then I’d love?

I’m not a parent yet (in the third trimester), so this may be a naive question, but it’s something I’ve been wondering after reading parenting forums.

I’m self-employed and run my own design studio/art store, and while I plan to pause the business for at least 4 months after having a baby, I’d ideally then like to re-open for a few hours once or twice a week.

My assumption was that a childminder, my partner, or my sister or mother could look after the baby during that time. My gym also has a crèche that I thought I might use occasionally for an hour or so after 4 months.

However, I’ve seen lots of comments from parents saying things like:

“My baby won’t stay with anyone but me.”

“I couldn’t bear leaving them.”

“I’d never use a crèche with a baby that young.”

I’m genuinely curious about where those feelings come from. Is it mostly the baby’s temperament and attachment, or is it more about how you feel as a parent once the baby arrives?

I’d ideally like my child to be comfortable being cared for by a few trusted people from an early age, both for practical reasons and so they have secure relationships with other adults in their life too. Is that a realistic goal, or is this one of those things that seems straightforward before you have a baby but feels completely different once they’re actually here?

I completely appreciate that I may feel very differently when I become a parent, so I’m not assuming it’ll be easy. I’m just trying to understand what makes it difficult for some parents, and whether getting babies used to trusted family members and childcare from an early age tends to help.

I’d love to hear people’s experiences: whether you found it easier or harder than you expected, and whether the challenge was more about your feelings or your baby’s.

Due a baby girl in August and I like the name Hazel, partly because of the character from my favourite graphic novel series.

However, I’ve noticed that Hazel seems to be getting much more popular recently. It shows up on a lot of girls’ name popularity lists, although I get the impression that the hype might be stronger in the US and Australia than in the UK.

I’m in the UK and, from what I’ve seen, Hazel has recently made its way into the top 100. Does anyone have any insight into whether it’s likely to keep climbing over the next 5-10 years and potentially end up in the top 20?

One of the things putting me off is that I don’t really want my daughter to have a name that’s as common as Isla, Olivia, Amelia, etc. I’ve already gone off Willow and Violet for the same reason, as they seem to have become incredibly popular.

I’m 8 weeks away from my due date and trying to prepare as best I can, as I’m taking a year off for maternity leave.
Right now life is pretty easy. I work from home and my dog is generally very laid back. He mostly sleeps beside me all day, but like a typical sighthound mix he gets occasional bursts of energy/zoomies.

He’s a sweet dog and good with people, but he’s also sensitive and anxious. Thunder and fireworks really scare him, and he can be reactive to cats, squirrels, and sometimes other dogs on walks. Because of that, I wouldn’t feel comfortable walking him alone with the baby. My partner will mostly handle walks anyway (morning and evening), and I’ll join with the baby when I can.

My biggest worry is how he’ll cope with: crying and unpredictable baby noise, the baby eventually crawling around, changes to the house/routine etc

He’s never been around babies or small children before, so I have no idea what to realistically expect. I actually tried testing his reaction with a crawling doll and he barked at it in fear, which shook my confidence a bit (then again, he probably knows it is a doll, right?)

Right now he has free rein of the house and follows us everywhere but I’m getting baby gates installed this weekend so we can separate them more easily.

For people who had large sensitive/reactive dogs and newborns: what helped your dog adjust?

I love my dog deeply and just want to make this transition as safe and fair as possible for everyone.

Edit: Oh also, I’ve read a lot of stories about people saying they don’t have time for their dogs now they’re parents. This is my first baby so I don’t know what to expect but surely I’ll be able to spend at least an hour a day with my dog for cuddles etc?

I’m pregnant and due soon, and I think I’m grieving the reality of what dog + baby life is probably going to look like for the next few years.

I have a very large Deerhound-type dog who has basically been my world up until now. Before pregnancy, I had this idealistic vision that dog and baby would just naturally coexist with some sensible supervision. But the closer I get to birth, the more I’m accepting that it’s probably going to involve a LOT of management and separation for everyone’s safety.

My dog is sweet and affectionate, but she’s also very bouncy, easily startled/spooked, and has never really been around babies. The few times she’s seen toddlers from a distance, I could tell their noises and unpredictability made her nervous. I could never forgive myself if she reacted badly out of fear and nipped the baby, so I’m preparing for the likelihood that they’ll need to be separated by gates/playpens/etc even when I’m in the room. The house isn’t huge and I’m hoping everyone will cope with the new restrictions.

I’ve been following the Dog Meets Baby content online and it honestly makes sense to me, especially the idea that many dogs don’t really relax around kids until they’re 4–5 and more predictable/respectful of boundaries.

But emotionally I’m struggling with what this means for daily life. I feel overwhelmed imagining years of constant management, gates, supervision, rotating spaces, never fully relaxing, worrying about leaving my partner alone with both of them, etc.

I also feel guilty because I love my dog so much and couldn’t bear to rehome her, but I’m scared of what kind of life this setup will be for both the dog and the baby.

I think I may be catastrophising the “next 4 years” instead of taking it day by day, but right now it feels really heavy.

…and now everything is escalating.

We have a 3-year-old female Lurcher, and our neighbours have a French Bulldog. The Frenchie constantly comes up to the shared fence, bangs at it and charges at it, and basically winds our dog up. Our Lurcher sees this as an intruder situation and absolutely loses it, barking loudly, charging the fence, getting really distressed and worked up.

This has been happening for months now and I genuinely think it’s changed her behaviour. She used to be fairly okay with other dogs, but now she’s become reactive on walks too. She lunges at small dogs, barks, and bats at them with her paws. Other owners have shouted things like “get your dog under control”. There was an incident the other day where she redirected onto me and nipped my hand when I had to pull her away from another dog.

It’s especially worrying because I’m pregnant and due in a few months, and I’m scared about her stress levels and whether she could accidentally hurt the baby if she’s this pent up and reactive all the time.

We did try speaking to the neighbours, but they don’t seem interested in stopping their dog from fence charging or training it away from the fence. At this point I think we need to focus on what we can do instead. Any advice?