u/forcedredditer

Hi all. I was diagnosed last fall at 36yo. Initial symptoms were fatigue, brain fog, anxiety and hot flashes, and 4 months no period after stopping BC. First estrogen check was 0, with high FSH/LH. All else normal. No autoimmune. I started HRT at 0.025mg estradiol 2x/week and 100mg continuous micro progesterone. Symptoms alleviated so much and follow up labs showed good improvement. FF 5 months, symptoms crept back up, labs showed another dip in estrogen. I upped to 0.05mg patch. Improved again. This was 4 months ago. All the while, I’ve had regular 22-27 day “cycles”. Now, I’m on day 31 and my symptoms (mainly fatigue, brain fog, and anxiety) have been AWFUL this past week. I’m scheduled for labs and upped to 0.1 patch/200 mg progesterone starting tonight. My exhaustion has been at a new low today and I just want to cry. Is this normal? Is it just because I needed this dose adjustment? Please help.

Hi. We had 3 cats. In April, the oldest passed suddenly from a suspected cardiac event/aneurysm. 3 weeks later, at a routine exam, the middle cat was found to have an abdominal mass. It grew rapidly (lymphoma) and he declined quickly. We had to make the difficult decision to put him down last night.

We are shattered. I’m worried about our remaining cat who’s never been alone. I’m mourning the losses. And my anxiety is through the roof. Most irrationally, I have this fear people are judging us. Like something terrible happened I’m quick succession so we must have done something wrong. Can anyone relate? Any advice?

This feels insurmountable.

My 2yo had a T&A over a week ago. Starting post/op night 4, he refuses to sleep unless my DH or I are holding him. Literally the entire night. If not, he screams and thrashes around. Given the surgery, we’re not letting him CIO, of course. But we are desperate for sleep/down time post-bedtime. It’s been a week of this. From bedtime to wake up time. He’s great during the day, eating, drinking, not showing signs of pain. No longer taking meds. Naps at daycare just fine. Has anyone experienced this? Any tips or advice? 😭

I lost my would cat suddenly 2 weeks ago. Suspected aneurysm or cardiac event. It has been awful.

Fast forward to today, my husband took our other 2 cats for a routine check up. They found a mass in one of their abdomens. I am so distraught. We go back tomorrow for an ultrasound and I’ve already convinced myself he’s dying. Looking for some advice while we wait.

He’s still acting very normal. His appetite isn’t as much, but that’s just recently and we attributed it to grieving. No noticeable weight loss. He has thrown up here and there, but usually after getting into something he shouldn’t (he likes to chew on bags, like chip bags. We hide them, he finds them) or hairballs. Nothing out of the norm. He’s also randomly peed a little on new bath mats but not often at all and again we thought stress from grieving.

Since we found out today, I’m over analyzing his every move and cannot stop sobbing. And since I wasn’t there, I don’t know what exactly what was said.

My 12yo cat passed suddenly last week. Vet suspected either aneurysm or cardiac event. We didn’t do an autopsy, but my husband found him unresponsive near the doorway of our laundry/litter room. As if he just collapsed while walking out. The grief has been all consuming and these are things I keep dwelling on…

- my reaction. When my husband called for me upon finding him, I ran down and immediately started crying. I touched him briefly and when I saw his glassy eyes and tongue out, I backed away. I was afraid. I immediately called the vet while my husband whisked him to the car and I hustled back upstairs to calm our 5 year old (who was mid-bedtime routine as this all happened). I know I did the right thing staying with my son and calming him, but I can’t help but feel like I let my fur-son down in those moments. I knew he was already gone, in my heart, but we were desperate to get him help fast. Because what if? I wish I had stopped to hold him. To hug and kiss him.

- pictures. When I adopted him, he was 8 weeks old and it was just him and me. My camera roll was flooded with pictures of him. As the years went on, and we added to the family (my husband, 2 more cats, and then our 2 sons), the less pictures of him I took. I know it’s natural, but I regret it so much.

- cuddles. Same as with the pictures. At one point in time, he was the center of my world. But as my (our) world expanded, our one-on-one time decreased. He still slept next to me every night. But I wish I had soaked it in more. I wish I never got annoyed when he’d try to lick me while I wanted to sleep. I wish I stopped more often to just soak in his presence. I wish I gave him random hugs as I left the house, instead of always being in a hurry. It’s as if he became a fixture in the house - I knew he was there and took for granted that he wouldn’t always be.

- the vet. We used to take him to the vet every 6 months like clockwork. Then, about 5 years ago, we had a really bad experience (he was physically ok, but they basically left him in his carrier for over an hour, where he pooped, and he was as covered in dried poop when we picked him up. He had been in for a teeth cleaning). He was freaked out/skiddish for days after. After that, we found a new vet and didn’t take him regularly. He was 100% an indoor cat and never showed any signs of illness or distress. In our minds, the act of taking him to the vet caused him more harm than it was worth. Now, with him gone, I’m questioning if, had we taken him, could we have prevented this?

I love him so much, and I wish I told him more. I wish I could have always given him the same amount of attention he got as a kitten. I feel like a horrible cat mom and human in general. I miss him so much it physically hurts.

I lost my cat of 12 years suddenly earlier this week. He was discovered unresponsive by my husband not 30 minutes after he had been eating/living his normal life. Vet suspects either aneurysm or cardiac event. He had been perfectly fine prior to his passing.

I adopted him when he was 8 weeks old. I was in my early 20s, single and lived alone. He was my baby. He was there when I graduated school, met my husband, got married, bought a house, had my kids… all of it. In that time, we added 2 more cats to the family, but he and I always had a special bond.

After having kids, I naturally was unable to give him the same amount of attention. We still cuddled every night but the random pets and playtime wasn’t the same.

Now that he’s gone, I feel immense guilt. Like I should have shown him more love. I feel guilty I would get annoyed when he would want to cuddle and I wanted to sleep without him licking me. I feel guilty I didn’t ensure he was more active. I feel guilty I didn’t know something was wrong. He had no symptoms. He had always been a large cat but was otherwise healthy. There was the occasional accident around the house, but it was always associated with a change of some sort (new rug, new baby, etc). Few and far between.

But I feel most guilty about the night he passed. When my husband found him, I was with our son (5). He called for me in a panic so I rushed to him and, in the process, our son naturally got upset. I saw my cat collapsed - pupils dilated, tongue out - and screamed/cried. I touched him briefly but my husband and I were hustling to get him in the car for urgent care. I knew he was gone but wanted to get him the vet ASAP because what if? I was scared to touch him and I honestly don’t know why. So my husband whisked him off while I called the vet to let them know he was coming. I then went upstairs to be with our son and comfort him. It all went so fast. And now I regret it. I wish I would have reacted differently. I wish I held him. I wish I said goodbye.

I’m broken. I’m torn up with guilt and grief.

I miss my baby and want him back.