Rant!! Mom mad for moving out
**Whats the science of your Mom getting mad for me moving out?**
For reference I’m turning 27 this year
Still having a hard time with life
Just started a small business
Mom is single mom almost all our life (she has partner now)
Mom is also currently living in a small town province bc of her business there so she comes back and forth in the city every now and then (prolly once or twice a month)
We’re from the Philippines
I have a boyfriend— she’s mad ab it but accepts it now since we have our business together altho still lowkey doesn’t accept it. I had to hide that back when I was abroad since she’s super strict and now back home she knows about it but still doesnt accept it
Just got back after working abroad for 5 years. Back there, I’ve been giving her financial help but not a lot only when I can and when she asks but not consistently as life is also hard there
Now, when I got back i haven’t been much of help in terms of financially
Decided to move out after 1 year of being back home because its so toxic here and I feel like I’m not growing here as a person because its just so toxic hearing her words. Always making me feel bad about not having a regular 9-5 job and my small business is useless and won’t get me anywhere
So now I’m just wondering because I just told her I had good news and I got approved for my rental unit that I will be renting and shes the 1st to know but she reacted so bad. (Altho my sister and bf was the first to know) Saying I can never go back here, I will never ask for her help. I can decide for my own and dont care, shes saying I only care for myself. I could’ve given her the monthly rent instead of others, how inconsiderate of me. I was living here for 1 year and 4 months and not paying her rent (as I was also struggling building a life back home). I should pay her for all the time I was living here bc I was living here for free 🥹🥹
She keeps on saying too that, this just means I won’t be monitored now (by her) and anyone can just go in my new rental place. Saying, next thing is I will get married and live with my boyfriend (which is not the case as that's not the priority now) I've also been living with strangers and my boyfriend back then abroad so really this is not my first rodeo. We're not deprived of each other so we're not getting married anytime soon and def not living together. I told her if that's how young people are back then, its not now. That's not our prioirty and with this economy, younger people are trying to be more smart with every move and not just do what comes to their mind. (Unlike in the old times before, bc in my opinion people were more deprived before and so once they have their freedom they dont think) I've been living by myself for almost 5 years so I have self control, and discipline
For reference we’ve been living in a condo for almost 15 years now or maybe a lil over that so there’s security guards on every building so on our building she keeps tabs on us with the guard so we can never leave without a reasonable reason (this was happening specially when we were in school : grade school to college) It's actually a bit embarrassing bc she has to ask the guards to keep tabs on us when that's not their job-- like ask if we left or not or we had someone sleepover, or if we had visitors) This has been happening until now (Now that we're both 25 and 26 yo)
This is all just sad. I told her this is why my sister and I can’t tell her any news about us because she always react badly no matter what the news is. She will always find the bad about anything
Its too toxic making me feel like I’m a bad daughter for leaving and giving ny money to others instead of her.