u/girl-diaries

I’m typically a rather adequate writer but I don’t even care anymore.

I need to stop throwing up. My parents get suspicious when I’m in the bathroom for so long so I sometimes do it in my room, and since bags make to much noise and are hard to clean, I brought a bunch of little plastic bowls in my room and throw up in there. Of course not everything fits in it so I end up still having food in me and I’ve gained so much weight this week. I haven’t weighed myself in almost half of a month out of fear. I finally did it and I’m freaking out crying in the bathroom holding my stomach. Ik I probably can’t give (three letters and starts with a b) but I’m under the underweight line for adults, but still average for a minor. I used to be underweight and have a thigh gap, which is incredibly difficult considering how short I am. I never did sh but I’ve scratched my legs in hope of cutting off the fat (illogical ik) and this weekend I treid out of curiosity to do a little bit but the razor was too old and blunt, also I’m afraid if I go to the doctor they’ll see. But now I just want to take a big rectangular kitchen knife and slice through the fat on my upper thighs, maybe even on my stomach. (I won’t though)

Anyways about the throw up thing I’ve spilled it all over my bedsheets and had to scrub it with makeup remover and white paint (my mother was right outside my room and I didn’t want her too see.) I’ve spilled it on the floor countless time, and on my clothes. I even got barf ALL over my nicest sweater 😭

Now the most disgusting thing happened. I hid a few bowl around my room last week and forgot about them. I went to take them yesterday and lo and behold, two of them (that were under my bed 🤮) had THICK layers of mold on them. I was shaking, even though I’m not one to get grossed out easily. A little bit of mold on bread? No big deal. But INCHES of mold on something that came out of me!?!? And I had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out :( I thought that was going to be my wakeup call, but nope- I’m back at it today at my toilet.

Although now that I weighed myself I don’t think I can ever eat again. If I eat again I’m going to want to die. I hate food but I keep on eating it.

I’m typically a rather adequate writer but I don’t even care anymore.

I need to stop throwing up. My parents get suspicious when I’m in the bathroom for so long so I sometimes do it in my room, and since bags make to much noise and are hard to clean, I brought a bunch of little plastic bowls in my room and throw up in there. Of course not everything fits in it so I end up still having food in me and I’ve gained so much weight this week. I haven’t weighed myself in almost 2 weeks out of fear. I finally did it and I’m freaking out crying in the bathroom holding my stomach. Ik I probably can’t give bmi but I’m under the underweight line for adults, but still average for a minor. I used to be underweight and have a thigh gap, which is incredibly difficult considering how short I am. I never did sh but I’ve scratched my legs in hope of cutting off the fat (illogical ik) and this weekend I treI’d out of curiosity to do a little bit but the razor was too old and blunt, also I’m afraid if I go to the doctor they’ll see. But know I just want to take a big rectangular kitchen knife and slice through the fat on my upper thighs, maybe even on my stomach. (I won’t though)

Anyways about the throw up thing I’ve spilled it all over my bedsheets and had to scrub it with makeup remover and white paint (my mother was right outside my room and I didn’t want her too see.) I’ve spilled it on the floor countless time, and on my clothes. I even got barf ALL over my nicest sweater 😭

Now the most disgusting thing happened. I hid a few bowl around my room last week and forgot about them. I went to take them yesterday and lo and behold, two of them (that were under my bed 🤮) had THICK layers of mold on them. I was shaking, even though I’m not one to get grossed out easily. A little bit of mold on bread? No big deal. But INCHES of mold on something that came out of me!?!? And I had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out :( I thought that was going to be my wakeup call, but nope- I’m back at it today at my toilet.

Although now that I weighed myself I don’t think I can ever eat again. If I eat again I’m going to want to die. I hate food but I keep on eating it.

I’m typically a rather adequate writer but I don’t even care anymore.

I need to stop throwing up. My parents get suspicious when I’m in the bathroom for so long so I sometimes do it in my room, and since bags make to much noise and are hard to clean, I brought a bunch of little plastic bowls in my room and throw up in there. Of course not everything fits in it so I end up still having food in me and I’ve gained so much weight this week. I haven’t weighed myself in almost 2 weeks out of fear. I finally did it and I’m freaking out crying in the bathroom holding my stomach. Ik I probably can’t give bmi but I’m under the underweight line for adults, but still average for a minor. I used to be underweight and have a thigh gap, which is incredibly difficult considering how short I am. I never did sh but I’ve scratched my legs in hope of cutting off the fat (illogical ik) and this weekend I treI’d out of curiosity to do a little bit but the razor was too old and blunt, also I’m afraid if I go to the doctor they’ll see. But know I just want to take a big rectangular kitchen knife and slice through the fat on my upper thighs, maybe even on my stomach. (I won’t though)

Anyways about the throw up thing I’ve spilled it all over my bedsheets and had to scrub it with makeup remover and white paint (my mother was right outside my room and I didn’t want her too see.) I’ve spilled it on the floor countless time, and on my clothes. I even got barf ALL over my nicest sweater 😭

Now the most disgusting thing happened. I hid a few bowl around my room last week and forgot about them. I went to take them yesterday and lo and behold, two of them (that were under my bed 🤮) had THICK layers of mold on them. I was shaking, even though I’m not one to get grossed out easily. A little bit of mold on bread? No big deal. But INCHES of mold on something that came out of me!?!? And I had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out :( I thought that was going to be my wakeup call, but nope- I’m back at it today at my toilet.

Although now that I weighed myself I don’t think I can ever eat again. If I eat again I’m going to want to die. I hate food but I keep on eating it.

I’m typically a rather adequate writer but I don’t even care anymore.

I need to stop throwing up. My parents get suspicious when I’m in the bathroom for so long so I sometimes do it in my room, and since bags make to much noise and are hard to clean, I brought a bunch of little plastic bowls in my room and throw up in there. Of course not everything fits in it so I end up still having food in me and I’ve gained so much weight this week. I haven’t weighed myself in almost 2 weeks out of fear. I finally did it and I’m freaking out crying in the bathroom holding my stomach. Ik I probably can’t give bmi but I’m under the underweight line for adults, but still average for a minor. I used to be underweight and have a thigh gap, which is incredibly difficult considering how short I am. I never did sh but I’ve scratched my legs in hope of cutting off the fat (illogical ik) and this weekend I treI’d out of curiosity to do a little bit but the razor was too old and blunt, also I’m afraid if I go to the doctor they’ll see. But know I just want to take a big rectangular kitchen knife and slice through the fat on my upper thighs, maybe even on my stomach. (I won’t though)

Anyways about the throw up thing I’ve spilled it all over my bedsheets and had to scrub it with makeup remover and white paint (my mother was right outside my room and I didn’t want her too see.) I’ve spilled it on the floor countless time, and on my clothes. I even got barf ALL over my nicest sweater 😭

Now the most disgusting thing happened. I hid a few bowl around my room last week and forgot about them. I went to take them yesterday and lo and behold, two of them (that were under my bed 🤮) had THICK layers of mold on them. I was shaking, even though I’m not one to get grossed out easily. A little bit of mold on bread? No big deal. But INCHES of mold on something that came out of me!?!? And I had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out :( I thought that was going to be my wakeup call, but nope- I’m back at it today at my toilet.

Although now that I weighed myself I don’t think I can ever eat again. If I eat again I’m going to want to die. I hate food but I keep on eating it.

This post has been heavily edited due to the fact that every subre I post in keeps having it auto- removed. I apologize in advance for the inconvenience.)

Yes, I’m not one of many years- I’m aware, but not (redacted since Reddit keeps deleting my post) enough to not have a phone number… perks of having strict parents. 🤷‍♀️

Regardless, I was wondering if it was even worthwhile to post long form content if I can’t upload a thumbnail? It’s a shame because I love making them :(

(I have some thumbnails I’ve made- just for fun/free use, (redacted) sugarxrush1/sugarxrush- please critique them, although I doubt I can put them to use.)

Also- I’m just going to include this question in here as well (if I don’t get enough answers I suppose I’ll make a separate post)

Is it stupid to delete all my videos? So far I have 4 or 5 hastily done shorts that I’m contemplating deleting since I’m rather the perfectionist and would like a certain “look” for my channel… I’m aware I’m just posting for fun, but still… :(

If someone can look through what I’ve posted and tell me which ones are worth keeping up I’d greatly appreciate it, although I’m not sure if that would be any of them. :/

Thank you!

Oof… this is quite a negative sounding post 🫣

Anyone else? I don't think people realize that these videos do the opposite than what they are inteded for- for some people at least...

Is it possible it’s because the question caught me off guard?

For reference- my mother asked me something about boys and I said something to the lines of, “I don’t even like boys”, meaning I don’t really have any crushes in real life- perks of being in a school void of the opposite gender… Regardless, my mother said! “Oh, so you like girls?” Lol I definitely don’t but the question caught me so off guard I just started stumbling over my words (or more so slurring - I’m rather exhausted at the moment)

Oops I realize this is kind of going off of the subreddits theme… I suppose you could just ignore this 🤷‍♀️

Uhm just to finish my point/ rant though, my mother has a tendency to… er, take things out of capacity, accusing me of everything under the Sun… Yes, some of it may be true, but when I do have to spin a lie it often times is smoother than the truth… why is that?

Also please don’t be offended about the whole girls thing… my mom and I are religious, and she calls gay people “the weirdos of the world” /“weirdos of the world unite”… 🫣 So of course I do not want such an accusation against me :(

SLUR AGAIN

CLEARLY DOESNT UNDERSTAND THE PREMISE OF THIS SUBREDDIT