Simply establish that every character your lead interacts with has dementia. That way, your lead can spew all the exposition you need and the reader will be none the wiser.
Title: Furniture
Format: Feature
Page Length: 91 pages
Genres: Comedy/Dark Comedy
Logline: Two rival furniture-store owners in a dying plaza spiral into a war of sabotage and obsession when an aspiring documentarian fans the flames of their feud for the sake of her film.
Feedback Concerns: Right now my biggest concern is that the ideas/themes/arcs in my film are only obvious to me because I wrote it. I need to make sure certain aspects are crystal clear. If you read, please answer these questions in your reply.
What do you think Donnie wants?
What do you think Karl is afraid of?
Why do you think April keeps filming?
At what point did April stop being an observer and start actively influencing them?
Why do you think Donnie chooses to burn the store?
Why do you think Karl lets him?
What do you think changed between Donnie and Karl by the end?
Why does April turn the camera off?
Why doesn't she delete the footage?
Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1p7f2W13jhdxUhicn2qS_Rp58Z30sVbzW/view?usp=sharing
Looking for feedback on my third draft, anything helps.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ZksfcEe9iQpWLCB4NrNzcnGRI-bzlajX/view?usp=drivesdk
Two rival furniture-store owners in a dying plaza spiral into a war of sabotage and obsession when an aspiring documentarian fans the flames of their feud for the sake of her film.
Looking for feedback on my third draft, anything helps.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ZksfcEe9iQpWLCB4NrNzcnGRI-bzlajX/view?usp=drivesdk
Two rival furniture-store owners in a dying plaza spiral into a war of sabotage and obsession when an aspiring documentarian fans the flames of their feud for the sake of her film.
Title: Furniture
Format: Feature
Page Length: 93 pages
Genres: Comedy/Drama
Draft Status: Third draft
Logline: Two rival furniture-store owners in a dying plaza spiral into a war of sabotage and obsession when an aspiring documentarian fans the flames of their feud for the sake of her film.
Feedback Concerns: This is the draft I want to cold query with. I want to make sure there are no glaring issues before I send it out.
Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ZksfcEe9iQpWLCB4NrNzcnGRI-bzlajX/view?usp=drivesdk
TITLE: FURNITURE
FORMAT: Feature
PAGE LENGTH: 93 pages
DRAFT STATUS: Second draft
GENRE: Comedy/Dark Comedy
LOGLINE: Two rival furniture-store owners in a dying plaza spiral into a war of sabotage and obsession when an aspiring documentarian fans the flames of their feud for the sake of her film.
FEEDBACK CONCERNS: Concerned about structure and pacing as well as emotional/character payoff. Any feedback welcome.
LINK: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1mwHnESXv-CMq-vKQUPmmMdMYMQKYWDmZ/view?usp=sharing
TITLE: FURNITURE
FORMAT: Feature
PAGE LENGTH: 84 pages
GENRE: Comedy/Dark Comedy
LOGLINE: Two rival furniture-store owners in a dying plaza spiral into a war of sabotage and obsession when an aspiring documentarian fans the flames of their feud for the sake of her film.
FEEDBACK CONCERNS: Just finished my first draft. Looking for any and all feedback as I need notes to start my next draft. So far, I know April needs more fleshing out as a central character and some of the middle structure could be tighter.
LINK: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kxPaVJoWuJGHeDHh1EtlqdEymcxqBeJE/view?usp=drivesdk
Nothing but trouble for hundreds of years, these cunts.
Very interested in hearing stories about seeing the finished product, what it felt like, was it close to your original vision?
Get it?
I just thank god his parents didn't name him Jack
Sorry if this isn't allowed, but I would love feedback for my slasher script from an audience that are fans of the genre. It is 82 pages and only draft 2 so I don't expect anyone to read the whole thing, any feedback is appreciated.
Summary: When two sisters spend Halloween night inside an iconic Toronto mansion, they find themselves caught between a prolific Canadian serial killer and their newly possessed friends, forcing them to survive a horror story whose rules are rapidly falling apart.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1nCEK5hsf0tplvGvNqclMLFTFsEokyUPk/view?usp=drivesdk
A comedy/drama about people with "superpowers" that are really just debilitating in nature.
The invisible woman isn't traditionally invisible, she just struggles to get people to notice or acknowledge her at all. She would be in her 40s and very lonely.
The guy with super strength lives like a bull in a china shop. Even trying to be delicate, he still destroys his surroundings by accident and struggles with romance because he fears injuring a potential partner.
A guy who can fly but has trouble controlling it, maybe he has ADHD or something similar and finds himself constantly in maladaptive daydreams, causing him to float away without realizing.
Title: Curses
Format: Feature
Page Length: 82 Pages
Draft Status: Second draft
Genres: Horror/Comedy
Logline: When two sisters spend Halloween night inside an iconic Toronto mansion, they find themselves caught between a prolific Canadian serial killer and their newly possessed friends, forcing them to survive a horror story whose rules are rapidly falling apart.
Feedback Concerns: Significant revision/rewrite from my last draft. Looking to see if the structure and pacing makes sense, if the emotional beats land. If the ending works. All other feedback welcome.
Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1nCEK5hsf0tplvGvNqclMLFTFsEokyUPk/view?usp=sharing
Title: CURSES
Format: Feature
Page Length: 31 Pages (first act)
Genres: Horror/Meta-Horror/Comedy
Logline: When two sisters spend Halloween night inside an iconic Toronto mansion, they find themselves caught between a prolific Canadian serial killer and their newly possessed friends, forcing them to survive a horror story whose rules are rapidly falling apart.
Feedback Concerns: This is the second draft of the first act of my feature. I am looking for overall feedback.
Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ZEMqN2ddJLdpHqLPVMS2Nh6o-znU1Ddp/view?usp=drivesdk