u/im_confused_always

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Last weekend my SO had an extremely close call and almost died. I don't mean they were one block from an accident close call, they had to be helicoptered to the nearest big city and got an aed used on them followed by an icu stay.

They are practically perfectly recovered at this point. But friends, i almost lost him. I know i have my own power and i don't want to sound like i'm diminishing my self but they are my world. For twenty years , i've been a moon revolving around them.

Friday night while i was driving alone in the dark night to get to the hospital (long trip) i prayed to all of our ancestors and the creator and anyone who would have us.

How do i make an offering of gratitude? Does it matter for instance , if I leave a food offering , if animals eat it? I just need an amount of guidance , please.

first off i have a new phone and the auto correct is dumb af yall. plz forgive.

but like, the kids shit is somehow your mess?

my husband will call the room a mess and say only three items are his and all the rest of it is my fault?

why **was** Dorothy a substitute teacher?

one of my favorite things about Dorothy's character is the fact that she teaches English passionately. She cares for her students, and their growth. So much that she wouldn't take the cushy job offered because she wanted to TEACH and see her students growth.

I know how I sound right now lol and it was probably so she could have some job instability and not seen a certain way by audiences but what do y'all think?

I woke up at 11:50PM. What the hell?!!!

How am I supposed to have a life?

I was also soaked with sweat and **radiating** heat.

I'm pretty new to this. at least the acceptance that it's really happening? I'm still having periods, most of the time 2 a month, sometimes less than two weeks between🥲 but everything else tracks. I don't have health insurance or live in a community that has resources for me. I also have no older women in my life.

like I'm totally fine with aging! only some people even get to be old. my mother didn't even reach menopause. but whyyyyy does it have to be entirely disruptive when everything is already so hard? I can't handle much to begin with tbh

this turned out not to be so much about sleep but these are pretty accurate 2am thoughts lol

First off, i have a new phone and the autocorrect is **weird** so plz forgive any typos

As an outside observer I want to express how amazed I am everyday by the nannys who use this sub.

y'all are such go getters! Besides all the ins and outs of the daily hands-on part of your jobs, the unseen labor seems like a lot. You all have to know the ins and outs of contract stipulations and tax laws, PTO and sick days.

You ladies have so much chutzpah (complimentary). you all put yourselves out there and i am usually in awe of the bravery i see here daily. I also admire how you all are confident in your abilities and that's why you fight to get what you deserve.

Standing up for your rights and making the industry better everytime you do.

All that plus you have to deal with working inside someone else's home and everything that comes with that...

I hope I got my points across because I have been itching to get it out.

I always hear about mother's saying "I've dreamt of this since the day they were born"

is that you? I am asking genuinely, not a setup.

I'm curious if I'm am outlier.

Eta are any of us saving for our daughters wedding?

Eta2 So who are these women? We're they our mothers? My mom died so I can't ask but I'm pretty positive she didn't either

like I'm so for real. my moods and emotions and, just, the **essence of who I am** in my core... changes wildly in the span of two or three minutes. Like one minute I am a powerful confident queen and, in minutes I'm in tears and in minutes I'm making every one laugh (not on purpose though? like i will just be truthful and peoplethink it's hilarious) and in minutes I've remembered a slight against me and I could fight a mf. WHAT IS THIS?!!!!

Eta I have read every comment and while I'm glad to know I'm not alone, I also hate that many of us are suffering. I also am slightly hopeful things that can get better after reading so many people have been able to get relief.

Also- see how different my vibe is now after some time?