▲ 9 r/AlAnon

How do I deal with/evaluate lying?

My partner has an alcohol addiction. I told them that if they drank again, backslid, etc. I'd be right there holding their hand and supporting them because I know it happens. But if they ever _lied_ to me about their drinking again, I would leave them.

Earlier this week, they lied to me, saying they hadn't had anything to drink when they had. They only lie to me while they're drunk.

It really broke my heart. In my mind I separated the two things, one as a disease and the other a choice. I have been turning over the fact that if those stakes weren't enough not to lie to me, what must I mean to them?

Are these feelings valid? If someone knew they'd be supported even if they slipped, would they still lie?

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u/jeremyfrankly — 1 month ago

Did your High School do a Sadie Hawkins dance?

It's the dance where women ask men instead of vice versa. I've seen it referenced/played out on TV a bunch, and it's a real thing (Wikipedia). I went to school on Long Island and other than prom we really didn't have dances in general so I don't know how prevalent this is

u/jeremyfrankly — 1 month ago
▲ 91 r/nycrail

Southbound R at 45th in Brooklyn. What other instances are there of the MTA reversing direction from back when the tiling was installed?

EDIT from /u/BigRedBK: Bay Ridge used to be "uptown" because it was away from Downtown Brooklyn but we don't use the term anymore

And how/why would that happen anyhow?

u/jeremyfrankly — 1 month ago

CMV: The United States of America, as established in the Constitution, was "created" upon its ratification in 1788. As such, we should not be celebrating its 250th this year as it's only 238.

Final Update: Delta awarded because, while it isn't exactly what we have today, the Articles of Confederation did enough to establish a supernational entity with a functioning national democracy. But I do still think they 250th should be next year, as they weren't finalized by congress until '77. It would be a different post but I still maintain there was no "nation" between the Declaration and the Articles
_________

It has been 250 years since the colonists of what is now The United States declared independence from Great Britain. However, our nation is only 238 years old. There was a previous, failed attempt to establish a nation under the Articles of Confederation prior to the creation of the United States Constitution, but this was not the same nation as today. The core constructs of how it functioned, the peoples' role in it, and how it viewed itself were completely different, and that other than keeping the name the governing body of that convention effectively started over.

While there are individual states that can claim they date back 250 years, that logic would mean most states could not celebrate this year. Rather, the anniversary must mark the creation of the government that those more recent entries belong to.

EDIT: this keeps coming up so please note according to the National Archives "This 'first constitution of the United States' established a 'league of friendship' for the 13 sovereign and independent states."

EDIT 2: as to what 250 popularly represents is really up in the air, with some saying the 250 years of American Independence, of Our Nation's Founding, and anniversary of the United States.

EDIT 3: let's look at the text. They are a plural united States of America. They are united in the point of the declaration: that they are all agreed that they are independent are are willing to fight the British. It's one letter they collaborated on and signed. They collectively throw off England and announce their right to create their own governments. It does not say they would be joined together under a single decision-making body. They assert that they are each free to act as independent states in terms of defense, commerce, and sign international treaties.

>The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America**,** When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

>We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

  • [list of grievances, removed for space]

>Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

>We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

EDIT 4: Even though I still stand by my point that it begins at the Constitution, even the Articles of Confederation were not implemented until '77. At that point they were just independent nations who were allied forces in a war. Nothing was established in 1776; a letter of intent is not the creation of a nation.

u/jeremyfrankly — 1 month ago

Never thought I'd see the day, but the scaffolding over Cafe Zona Sur has been removed

It's been up for as long as I've lived here, about 10 years

u/jeremyfrankly — 2 months ago
▲ 26 r/answers

I love following all the World Cup fans visiting and experiencing the US for the first time. Is there a collection/list of these accounts and/or posts?

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u/jeremyfrankly — 2 months ago