u/jkjohnson003

I made this post 3-4 months ago regarding a very late (and forced) apology from my MIL in the form of a card...where she didn't even really apologize for what I was hurt over. I responded and was overly nice but still honored my boundary by saying what I was actually hurt about and said we could move forward with that understanding. No response.

Fast forward 3-4 months, and I've heard absolutely nothing from her.

My birthday was this past week. She sent a card, but interestingly, no text. Every other year she's done both. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but part of me wonders if she skipped the text because she knew she'd never responded to my previous message.

Despite that, I reached out to her today. I thanked her for the card, referenced my earlier message, and asked if we were on the same page and able to move forward. In my mind, I practically handed her a roadmap for repairing the relationship. She didn't have to guess what was wrong, defend herself, or navigate a difficult conversation. All she had to do was acknowledge my feelings and respond. Instead, nothing.

A few months ago, I told my husband that her lack of response left me feeling like things were unresolved. To his credit, he hasn't pushed me to pretend everything is fine, even though I know he'd prefer if we could all move forward. I haven't told him about today's text yet because I wanted to see if she would respond first.

At this point, I'm honestly at a loss. For someone who claims she wants a relationship with me and wants everything to be okay, she seems completely unwilling to do the one thing that would actually help us get there: acknowledge what hurt me and have a conversation about it. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do besides continue no contact and accept that she's choosing not to engage.

My husband (35M) and I (35F) are child free by choice. I’ve never had pets growing up and am severely type a. My husband has always had pets and is not type a 😂 we got a dog after we got married and I’ve regretted it more than I have enjoyed it for a lot of the same reasons I don’t like kids. I hate my life revolving around this dog. I like nice things. I hate the mess that comes with it. I hate the monetary aspect and not being able to just leave for a weekend and do whatever I want. Anyone else??

I’ve been to Gulf Shores/Orange Beach a handful of times, but we’ve always driven. We’re looking at flying for a quick weekend trip at the end of summer and trying to figure out what would be most cost effective for transportation (rent a car vs uber). I like the idea of having our own car ready to go, but didn’t know how easy it was to get to and from the airport to a rental car place.

Does anyone have a recommendation for a good shoe/leather cobbler? I’ve got a few shoes I want to stretch and a purse strap I’d like an additional notch in

I posted this post a week ago, as I was expecting a generic text from my MIL since my husband said he would talk to her about giving an apology to make things "okay" between us while he was staying with his parents that weekend.

Fast forward, a few days ago, I received a card in the mail from MIL (using OP name, Husband's last name---which felt like a jab because I kept my maiden name since we got married in our mid 30s and I just felt like I would have an identity crisis changing my name, but that's a whole different topic.)

Anyway, the card was an apology...but it missed the mark. She wrote a multi-paragraph card, but the first paragraph was the only thing relating to an apology. She said she was "sorry for how her gift made me feel because she thought I would like it" instead of owning what the real issue was....which was asking for a $400 gift and giving me something not even remotely close in value. It was the imbalance and the fact that she asked for something so expensive and didn't see an issue with the imbalance. My husband and I do not have as much money as her and FIL, so it's not like we can just afford to give one person a $400 gift and not feel the brunt of the expense.

She spent the subsequent paragraphs talking about how she would love to come see our house and have everyone over for holidays...just immediately moving on from what this should have been about.

I thought long and hard about how to respond and finally (after ChatGPT helped me clean it up lol) send her a text essentially saying:

1. thank you for the card and apology

2. the imbalance in the gifts hurt me

3. me not wanting to visit wasn't solely because of her

4. with this understanding, I'm happy to move forward, and I value this relationship

And it was foolproof because I asked ChatGPT to "make this sound nice enough that my MIL can't cry and my husband won't get mad" lol. I sent that Wednesday at noon. It's currently 2:30pm Saturday and she hasn't responded. I feel like what I sent warranted a response, but please correct me if I am wrong here....because without that understanding, I feel like that whole interaction did nothing for how I feel except finally speak my truth.

I’m rewatching The Hills and I’m getting mad all over again 😂 Spencer is literally the WORST. I’m on season 5 where he punches Stephanie’s ex at the bar after he’s flirting with the bartender and I just don’t see whatever Heidi sees. This man isolated her, embarrassed her, and was so rude to everyone.

Anyone else just legitimately tired? I feel like I get along with most people and a lot of different personalities, but my MIL (and his other two siblings) are something else.

I posted before about my MIL, regarding Christmas and our wedding. Without going through the details, she asked for an expensive gift from me/my husband and gave me something cheap in return ($400 gift for MIL, $20 gift for me). She invited people to our wedding last minute without asking and then cried to everyone and played victim when I told her that wasn’t a cool thing to do. And then the whole wedding in general was weird around his family because of those two events.

We argued this past Christmas about seeing his family since I told him after the wedding I planned to be no contact. I did stay home (he went down there to celebrate with them the weekend before the holiday) and I stayed home with our dog.

He was going down to see his family last weekend since he was playing in a golf tournament with his dad. I took that opportunity to bring up to him that I do not want to continually have this argument every year at the holidays. He agreed that he also didn’t want to argue every year. He said he was fine with me not liking or wanting to see his siblings, but he wanted me and his mom to get along.

I reminded him that when we argued at Christmas, I said all I ever needed was for my feelings to be addressed, if she felt/feels as bad about things as he says (he says she feels bad that we aren’t cool and how she made me feel two Christmas’ ago). So he said he would talk to her and tell her what we discussed and if she could just text an apology. Not even a verbal apology, just text.

It’s been a week and nothing. I don’t want to ask him what happened and seem like I’m on his ass, but I can just feel the next argument looming because this year is flying and holidays will be here again before we know it.

Do I just give up and accept that it’s no contact forever or that I’m just going to have to swallow my feelings and being hurt.