u/joboog

Hey guys, I’m not that tall, but I’m a 5’11 woman who’s dating a 5’7 man.

For the most part, I don’t notice it toooo much (It’s been a journey anyway). But photos when we’re both standing next to each other do get to me, even after over a year of being together. I feel like I look like a giant next to him, and I just can’t seem to stop disliking this so much. It makes me insecure and body conscious.

I do feel like I need to get over this, because it really makes me think about the future and the fact that if we e.g. got married and grew old together, all our photos would continue to look like this, and this would continue to be an area I need to work on. I love him so much, so I want to deal with this for good, because I really can’t fathom feeling insecure about this with him for my whole life. It’s honestly got to the point where idk if I could handle that. And I HATE THAT. I wish I didn’t feel this way, please believe me.

I’ve been told my whole life about how I should make sure I’m with a tall man because I’m tall for a woman, and of course we all have been raised with the expectations that the man should be taller than the woman in a relationship. Even now that I’m with my boyfriend, a lot of friends and family have commented on our height difference in a negative way. So it does get to me. But really, the most important thing/ biggest issue is the photos. I just hate looking at photos of us standing together so much.

I’m officially done with being overly nice and accommodating to patients. It’s blown up in my face one too many times. The final straw was today.

The selective amnesia is so infuriating. What I’ve realised is these patients are NOT my friends even if they try to act like it. They turn on you no problem, even after you’ve tried so hard to help them. I’ve been shoddy here and there with my boundaries (for the most part I’m pretty okay) and 9 times out of 10 it’s always come back to bite me in one way or another.

I’ve learned the lessons now. I’m going to make my no mean a firm no. I’m not going to get stuck in negotiations with patients. I’m not going to do favours. I’m not going to let pity compromise my logical working decisions. Whether we like it or not, favours create expectations, no matter how much you try and manage those expectations. “This filling will not last a month, but I’ll do it so you get home without a broken front tooth.” WRONG. They somehow took that to mean the filling was going to last for 3 years, and now they feel entitled to the warranty on fillings that your clinic provides and so you need to do it for free for them again even though you told them it was a temporary measure and you were just trying to help them not be embarrassed at dinner with friends later.

UGHHH. How do you guys set the boundaries and manage them? How do you stop yourself from being tempted to do herodontics? I like my empathetic nature but it really doesn’t mix all that well with dentistry sometimes.

This clinic is blowing up on TikTok and it has me feeling pretty down about my results. I just can’t see how some of these are possible, but maybe I’m just not experienced enough yet, or haven’t learned the right procedures?

Maybe it’s cos it’s that time of the month for me, and work’s been stressful, but wow… I WAILED over Lee. Like, loud, ugly full body sobs. As though I were grieving my own family.

It was such a weird experience. My sister was watching me like I’d gone crazy, and I felt like it too. Never have I grieved over a fictional character like this before. Why does it hurt so freaking bad?! It feels like a genuine loss. I didn’t cry like this even at my grandmother’s funeral.

Idk what attached me so deeply to Lee, but Telltale sure did a good job with him. Easily one of my fave characters of all time now. RIP bestie. I miss you already. You deserved to live forever💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭

I’m feeling pretty devastated. I worked 9 days (full diaries, with a minimum of 15 patients, up to about 25 on the more busy days) in the month of April.

I got my paycheck today. I’m taking home £600 ($817USD). For 9x 8 hour days in April. That’s £66 a day. £8 an hour. I’d earn more at a coffee shop or fast food restaurant. I’d be eligible for government benefits on this kind of money.

I did have a crash out and cried for about 20 minutes because I was honestly expecting at least triple/ quadruple. I have a lot of bills to cover and am also studying a master’s part time. I’m going to spend the weekend running the numbers back and poring over the days I worked because I can’t work out how this is possible.

Anyway, please send thoughts and prayers. The state of NHS dentistry in the UK is just diabolical. I don’t think I can last more than another month here.

Hi guys. Black girl here.

I want to do a better job of witnessing to my community. I of course am in many Black spaces and with a lot of my peers, friends and family, this question comes up a LOT.

Many of these people have heard from their Christian parents and grandparents, “we came from Africa where we were practising our local religions and serving our local deities, and this was a way God could get Christianity to Black people and save us from these practices”, which for several reasons is a terrible, harmful theory, and people have left Christianity as a result of it.

This breaks my heart and definitely burdens me. I believe God has a huge heart for the African/ Caribbean diaspora but there needs to be a lot more sensitivity, wisdom and knowledge on particular topics in order to not misrepresent God and repel people from Christianity. To a lot of us, Christianity is a “white man’s religion” for obvious reasons. I and I’m sure several of you know full well this isn’t the actual case, but due to recent history it is pushing a lot of my people away from God.

Any thoughts?

29f, my partner is 36. We had our 1 year anniversary recently. Of course it was a big deal for me, especially as this is my first relationship.

So he did celebrate it- he wanted to have a FaceTime date (movie and stuff which is honestly nothing different/ special to usual things we do to keep long distance connection) and he made a digital photo collage of some of our photos together. Honestly I think it took him 5 minutes and it’s literally only some of our recent photos together (not any he’d have to go digging for).

I feel a bit disappointed. I made him a playlist which I worked for months on, painted him several paintings which took me hours which I posted to him and also wrote a lengthy, heartfelt card which I also posted.

I tried to be so mindful and thoughtful and I feel like an afterthought. Honestly long distance is already hard enough, but feeling unappreciated or uncelebrated sucks. Maybe I’m overreacting but I truly feel he put no effort except maybe 5 or 10 minutes into a photo collage which only had about 7 pictures in it. I’m also fairly sure he did it very quickly the day before our anniversary because that’s when his stuff I did for him arrived for him in the post, maybe triggering the thought that he hadn’t prepared anything and he should, as he messaged me thanking me and said something to me that made me think he hadn’t actually done anything for me yet.

I (F) have a wonderful, loving boyfriend so it’s quite distressing. We’ve been together a whole year, known each other for a year and a half, and I want to marry him provided things keep going in the right direction. He’s truly fantastic, more than I could ever have imagined or expected for myself. I’m truly deeply in love and he encourages me in my walk with the Lord.

If I were to go by the world’s labelling system, I’d say I’m bisexual, and have been since I was about 13. But I’ve always been more attracted to men (emotionally and physically), so as I got older, the attraction to women felt like something I could ‘deal with’ in terms of my Christian walk, i.e. just ignore it/ pray about it and keep moving forward. I’m now almost 30. I know other Christians that are strictly same-sex attracted only struggle a lot, so I’m grateful that I always had a preference for men.

Before we became official I told my boyfriend about the same-sex attraction that I experience. He’s actually the only person I’ve ever told, although I think my parents have had inklings. He was very loving and kind about it, and he was happy to continue pursuing things with me. This is my first relationship. He was my first kiss and everything.

For a long time since we met, I haven’t experienced any attraction to others, I guess I was so caught up in our new relationship. But recently (past month or so), that same-sex attraction which I’d honestly almost forgotten about after not experiencing it for almost 18 months, has started to show up again. I more frequently feel attracted to women and it’s actually really upsetting me, especially because it’s a different ‘feel’ of attraction. It’s sharper and more intense, probably because it’s something I know I cannot and should not follow, and also because I feel like I shouldn’t be attracted to anyone else while with my boyfriend. I know people say that if you’re starting to feel attracted to others while in a relationship, it’s usually because something is ‘missing’ from that relationship. Me and him are long distance, so maybe that’s contributing to it.

Any advice?