u/joyful-justice

Hi! I (28F) am actually posting here on behalf of my mom (54F) who does not use Reddit. She is is feeling very insecure about her deep wrinkles and aging, so I told her I would try to help her with developing a routine and finding products that could potentially help her with the wrinkles and and also improve her overall skin health and confidence.

She has never really used skin care or makeup before other than moisturizers at night and I think she uses Apricot Scrub still. Unfortunately, she spends a lot of time in the sun (lives in Texas and works with animals for a living) and until recently, did not use sunscreen or sun protection as consistently as she should have. Her and I are both complete beginners when it comes to skin care, and even my routine is pretty basic at this point and I’ve just been going off the recommendations of my dermatologist (gentle cleanser, clindamycin solution, moisturizer, and sunscreen, and then I add in Adapalene Gel at night), so I really have no clue where to even begin in trying to help her.

I’ve told her that she definitely needs to get into a routine of wearing sunscreen every day and reapplying throughout the day, and that we probably need to start with at least getting her a good cleanser and moisturizer. I am looking for recommendations for products, and anything she should add to her routine to help repair her skin and slow down the aging process. Also, if anyone has any recommendations for procedures or services (chemical peel, etc.) that you think are worth it, I’d love to hear. She isn’t really interested in doing Botox or fillers or any kind of surgeries, but I think she would be interested in rejuvenating type procedures.

I know this is a big ask because we are pretty clueless, but if anyone wants to share their thoughts, we are greatly appreciative!

Hi! I (28F) am actually posting here on behalf of my mom (54F) who does not use Reddit. She is is feeling very insecure about her deep wrinkles and aging, so I told her I would try to help her with developing a routine and finding products that could potentially help her with the wrinkles and and also improve her overall skin health and confidence.

She has never really used skin care or makeup before other than moisturizers at night and I think she uses Apricot Scrub still as a cleanser. Unfortunately, she spends a lot of time in the sun (lives in Texas and works with animals for a living) and until recently, did not use sunscreen or sun protection as consistently as she should have. Her and I are both complete beginners when it comes to skin care, so I really have no clue where to even begin in trying to help her.

I’ve told her that she definitely needs to get into a routine of wearing sunscreen every day and reapplying throughout the day, and that we probably need to start with at least getting her a good cleanser and moisturizer. I am looking for recommendations for products, and anything she should add to her routine to help repair her skin and slow down the aging process. Also, if anyone has any recommendations for procedures or services (chemical peel, etc.) that you think are worth it, I’d love to hear. She isn’t really interested in doing Botox or fillers or any kind of surgeries, but I think she would be interested in rejuvenating type procedures.

I know this is a big ask because we are pretty clueless, but if anyone wants to share their thoughts, we are greatly appreciative!

Hi! I (28F) am actually posting here on behalf of my mom (54F) who does not use Reddit. She is is feeling very insecure about her deep wrinkles and aging, so I told her I would try to help her with developing a routine and finding products that could potentially help her with the wrinkles and and also improve her overall skin health and confidence.

She has never really used skin care or makeup before other than moisturizers at night and I think she uses Apricot Scrub still. Unfortunately, she spends a lot of time in the sun (lives in Texas and works with animals for a living) and until recently, did not use sunscreen or sun protection as consistently as she should have. Her and I are both complete beginners when it comes to skin care, and even my routine is pretty basic at this point and I’ve just been going off the recommendations of my dermatologist (gentle cleanser, clindamycin solution, moisturizer, and sunscreen, and then I add in Adapalene Gel at night), so I really have no clue where to even begin in trying to help her.

I’ve told her that she definitely needs to get into a routine of wearing sunscreen every day and reapplying throughout the day, and that we probably need to start with at least getting her a good cleanser and moisturizer. I am looking for recommendations for products, and anything she should add to her routine to help repair her skin and slow down the aging process. Also, if anyone has any recommendations for procedures or services (chemical peel, etc.) that you think are worth it, I’d love to hear. She isn’t really interested in doing Botox or fillers or any kind of surgeries, but I think she would be interested in rejuvenating type procedures.

I know this is a big ask because we are pretty clueless, but if anyone wants to share their thoughts, we are greatly appreciative!

I saw Every Brilliant Thing tonight and LOVED it. I’m a huge Mariska fan, and as someone who struggles with depression and whose mother had two suicide attempts when I was a teenager, the show hit so close to home. I laughed and cried the entire time.

This is only the second Broadway show I’ve ever been to, so I had no idea about the stage door thing (and I don’t think she did it tonight anyway from what I’ve read because Jalen Brunson attended the show and it was crazy after). Anyway, I would love to get my playbill from the show signed. Is proper etiquette and/or are you even allowed to do the stage door on a day that you didn’t see the show? Or will I need to get tickets to see the show again to do it?

Please be nice- I’m not trying to be dense, I just don’t know much about this stuff because I have been to so few shows.

I have a Roku TV and I have Paramount+. I really like the show Mom with Allison Janey and Anna Farris, and it’s apparently on Paramount+ for Roku Channel. One would find out, that’s different from the regular Paramount+. WHY? Why would I pay for TWO Paramount+ subscriptions?

Streaming services are doing two much. But seriously, does anyone know why there’s two different Paramount+’s???

On December 2, 2022, my friend locked me in a room and raped me while I was so drunk I could barely walk. I was crying, and less than an hour before it happened, I called my sister while absolutely hysterical because he had kissed me at the bar and I didn’t want him to do that. My other friends were in the apartment when it happened, and no one stepped in to stop it, even though they all knew I was insanely drunk and that I was hysterically upset before he even locked me in the room.

Initially, my friends condemned it, but after a few months, they welcomed him back and supported his “growth.”

My best friend at the time blamed me for being reckless and claimed that’s why it happened. She said that I should have known something like this would happen because I liked flirting with and kissing random guys at the bar. She was angry at me because it happened in her apartment. She pushed the idea that I needed to humanize my rapist and recognize that while he did a bad thing, it didn’t define him, especially because he had past trauma too. At one point, all my friends confronted him as a group, and when she spoke, it was all about how he wasn’t defined by the bad thing he did and he should learn from it.

On Halloween 2023, I drank for the first time since the rape, and kissed a guy I thought was cute. It was the first time I felt like myself since it happened. I felt like I had reclaimed part of me that was taken when I was raped. My friend got pissed and claimed I was still being reckless and that my actions on Halloween were exactly why I got raped back in December, and she couldn’t be friends with me anymore because I was “engaging in behavior that caused her to be harmed” (referring to the rape happening in her apartment and how it harmed her).

I’m only still friends with one person from that friend group and he wasn’t there the night of the rape. On Saturday, his girlfriend threw him a surprise party (I was invited but didn’t go because I feared my rapist and ex-best friend would be there as he is still friends with them, too). Today I logged onto Instagram and the first thing I saw was a picture of all the people I was friends with before the rape at this party, posing for a picture that included my rapist. My ex-best friend was seated right in front of him.

Usually I can focus on what I’ve been able to do with my life despite the trauma and the victimization, and the fact that I’ve dedicating my life to trying to make it where other survivors don’t have to go through what I did (I’m a social worker in the sexual violence prevention and response field). However, this crossed a line because seeing the betrayal so vividly and so starkly re-broke something inside me. It’s like it doesn’t matter how therapy I go through, how hard I fight, or how many survivors I can help, it doesn’t change that I still went to bed drunk and crying in my best friend’s apartment with the belief that I was safe because I was with people I trusted, and that trust was broken because my friend chose to violate me, and no one did anything to stop it or help me, and then the very people who were supposed to support me chose to support him instead. My best friend, the person I spoke to every single night and saw every single weekend and trusted with every aspect of my life, choose to humanize and forgive my rapist, but blame me for what he did to me, and ostracize me for what I did to cope with the worst thing that ever happened to me.

I guess I just don’t know what to do that. Usually I do- usually I can just accept that she was a bad friend and he was a bad person- but when I saw them all together, it was just that feeling bubbling up, that feeling of “what was wrong with me where this happened to me, and no one chose me and no one protected me. Why did I deserve to be treated like that?”

Something that was so important to me as I worked to heal from my rape was transitioning from being a victim to being a survivor. But today, I don’t feel like a survivor, I just feel like a victim all over again.

On December 2, 2022, my friend locked me in a room and raped me while I was so drunk I could barely walk. I was crying, and less than an hour before it happened, I called my sister while absolutely hysterical because he had kissed me at the bar and I didn’t want him to do that. My other friends were in the apartment when it happened, and no one stepped in to stop it, even though they all knew I was insanely drunk and that I was hysterically upset before he even locked me in the room.

Initially, my friends condemned it, but after a few months, they welcomed him back and supported his “growth.”

My best friend at the time blamed me for being reckless and claimed that’s why it happened. She said that I should have known something like this would happen because I liked flirting with and kissing random guys at the bar. She was angry at me because it happened in her apartment. She pushed the idea that I needed to humanize my rapist and recognize that while he did a bad thing, it didn’t define him, especially because he had past trauma too. At one point, all my friends confronted him as a group, and when she spoke, it was all about how he wasn’t defined by the bad thing he did and he should learn from it.

On Halloween 2023, I drank for the first time since the rape, and kissed a guy I thought was cute. It was the first time I felt like myself since it happened. I felt like I had reclaimed part of me that was taken when I was raped. My friend got pissed and claimed I was still being reckless and that my actions on Halloween were exactly why I got raped back in December, and she couldn’t be friends with me anymore because I was “engaging in behavior that caused her to be harmed” (referring to the rape happening in her apartment and how it harmed her).

I’m only still friends with one person from that friend group and he wasn’t there the night of the rape. On Saturday, his girlfriend threw him a surprise party (I was invited but didn’t go because I feared my rapist and ex-best friend would be there as he is still friends with them, too). Today I logged onto Instagram and the first thing I saw was a picture of all the people I was friends with before the rape at this party, posing for a picture that included my rapist. My ex-best friend was seated right in front of him.

Usually I can focus on what I’ve been able to do with my life despite the trauma and the victimization, and the fact that I’ve dedicating my life to trying to make it where other survivors don’t have to go through what I did (I’m a social worker in the sexual violence prevention and response field). However, this crossed a line because seeing the betrayal so vividly and so starkly re-broke something inside me. It’s like it doesn’t matter how therapy I go through, how hard I fight, or how many survivors I can help, it doesn’t change that I still went to bed drunk and crying in my best friend’s apartment with the belief that I was safe because I was with people I trusted, and that trust was broken because my friend chose to violate me, and no one did anything to stop it or help me, and then the very people who were supposed to support me chose to support him instead. My best friend, the person I spoke to every single night and saw every single weekend and trusted with every aspect of my life, choose to humanize and forgive my rapist, but blame me for what he did to me, and ostracize me for what I did to cope with the worst thing that ever happened to me.

I guess I just don’t know what to do that. Usually I do- usually I can just accept that she was a bad friend and he was a bad person- but when I saw them all together, it was just that feeling bubbling up, that feeling of “what was wrong with me where this happened to me, and no one chose me and no one protected me. Why did I deserve to be treated like that?”

Something that was so important to me as I worked to heal from my rape was transitioning from being a victim to being a survivor. But today, I don’t feel like a survivor, I just feel like a victim all over again.

So, I will admit, I wasn’t the biggest fan of Darrin and Sue together, mainly because I felt like Sue was so childlike and immature, and Darrin was basically a (dumb) grown man, so it felt a little creepy to me. BUT oddly enough, I actually appreciated the storyline where Darrin proposes and Sue ultimately has to figure out how to say no.

As a girl from a small town (rural Texas) who was a lot like Sue, I vividly remember the pressure I felt as a young woman to get married young and have babies right away. In the community where I grew up, which was similar to Orson with a Texas twist, the general expectation was that the girls get purity rings at 13, married by 22 (AT THE LATEST), and have babies right away. Everything was based on “God’s intention” and religious ideas, as I grew up in the Bible Belt. If we pursued careers, it was generally expected that it was something more “secondary” so being a wife and mom could come first. I remember one of my (female) friends saying that I shouldn’t aspire to be a lawyer because God didn’t intend for women to be in such a powerful position. When I was 22 and single, one of my friends asked me if I was worried it was “too late” for me to find someone.

Luckily for me, my family did not put this pressure on me. There was no purity ring, no nagging for grand babies in the near future, and they would have reacted much like the Hecks if I came home with an engagement ring on my finger at 17. I was a great student and had big career aspirations, and they encouraged me to follow my dreams first and if I wanted to be a wife and a mom later, that was great too. I had the privilege of going to college, getting my degree, getting a master’s degree, and moving to the city of my dreams and starting the career I always wanted. At 27, I’m still not ready to get married or have babies, and I think that’s okay. Most of my friends where I live now are in the same boat, but if they grew up here, they don’t even think twice about it because it’s normal to wait. One of my friends from here who is my age said like two people from her class are engaged. They think it’s crazy when I talk about how my high school boyfriend got engaged to a different girl a month after he dumped me when I was a junior, or how nearly everyone in my graduating class is married with multiple children (who generally aren’t newborns anymore lol), and how many are even divorced.

I think this pressure/expectation to get married and have kids young is somewhat unique to small town, southern and midwestern girls, so I appreciated that they included that in The Middle for Sue. To me, it was realistic and didn’t come out of left field, especially because it wasn’t like Darrin was super aspirational or anything, and there’s really not this huge expectation that you wait to get married (it’s quite the opposite actually). I even loved how Darrin’s mom and aunt were so excited about the engagement, had no concerns, and were already talking about babies, because I think that’s exactly how a lot of moms in my hometown would react when their kids got engaged young.

I loved that Sue struggled to end the engagement because that was also real to me- a sweet, innocent, people-pleaser girl like Sue would totally struggle to end an engagement, and I think her speech about all the questions her life has that she’s not ready to answer was beautiful and exactly how I felt when I was her age. I love that they ultimately let her continue to chase her dreams and herself, rather than give and get married, even though she felt the pressure. I saw myself in her in that moment, and I think a lot women from small towns probably did too (even if they would have accepted the proposal).

I know Sue’s engagement was very controversial, but this is just my take as someone who grew up where getting engaged at 17 isn’t uncommon, and where it would be completely reasonable to fear being 24 without kids. This show is so well done, it’s honestly unreal how relatable it can be!

I am an LMSW who is returning to the field after a stint in law school (long story)… is it appropriate to have a resume that is longer than 1 page? Mine is 2 pages (one page front and back) and I honestly have no idea how I could make it any shorter, but I’m worried about breaking the one page resume rule.

For context, I graduated with my BSW in 2020, worked for a year, got my MSW in 2022 via advanced standing, worked for two years, then went to law school and pursued legal internships/work related to social work while I was there (my passion + all my experience is in gender-based violence).