u/knitandstretch

While I would not call this a success story, it is a small win and I'm so so so happy and needed to celebrate it with people I knew would understand! I rescued my dog five months ago. We've worked through dog-reactivity quite successfully but have struggled more with visitor's reactivity in the house. He does great with people outside, but barks and lunges at anyone coming into the house, even if it's someone he's met before many times. He's a big dog, so it's scary. And I haven't had him for so long, so there is always the fear he might bite (he's never tried to, but I don't know if it could escalate at some point).

It's incredibly stressful, and knowing the building's doorman/handyman was coming over to perform some house work today kept me up last night in anxiety. Of course, this is not a total stranger: he sees him in the building lobby at least 3-4 times a week, but it's the first time he's seen him inside our home. But still! He barked when he first entered the house (not aggressively that I could tell, just kind of acknowledging his presence I guess) and then proceeded to lay down on the couch next to where he is working and fall completely asleep. The man has been walking in an out of rooms, carrying a large portable scare, moving stuff around... and my dog is just... there.

I'm so happy I feel like I'm gonna burst.

I know there's still so much work ahead of us, but this just gives me hope! Thank you for reading and letting me share :)

EDIT: Question answered, thank you! This is so so different to what I'm used in my culture, but really looking forward to experiencing it!
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Hello!

Apologies if this is not the right forum to ask this question but I'm a bit at a loss. I have been invited to my friend's wedding in India - I will be flying from across the world. The families are very well off.

I'm trying to plan my dates and budget for this trip, and asked the wedding planners whether they had hotel recommendations for international guests. Their responso was "The family will be organising your stay for the wedding celebrations. We will share all the details with you shortly".

Does this mean they will be covering the accommodations during the celebrations? Is this common in India? I have no knowledge of Indian culture aside from knowing my friend, and I don't know how to interpret this. Also, would it be rude for me to ask them in some indirect way whether they family will be covering accommodations? I need to budget lol

Hello everyone!

Will try to keep it concise - hope someone has had success with a similar case and can provide some guidance!

I rescued my dog four months ago as a stray. He's a great dog, but we quickly realized he struggles with some nervousness and reactivity. He's leash reactive, and barks at visitors and "suspicious" outside noises. We've been consistently working for the past four months to some great results. His leash reactivity has decreased to the point where he might only react 5% of the time, and he can cross other dogs on the sidewalk as well as interact at the park; he is getting less reactive with visitors (he stops barking at them quicker) and his barks at outside noises are less hysteric and becoming more like quiet barks each day. It's a process but I was feeling so optimistic and encouraged!

The problem is that about a week ago he spotted what I'm guessing was some sort of rat or rodent at the park. He bolted into some bushes and was frantically chasing something. Getting him out was difficult. He's a large, muscular dog, and can be incredibly stubborn. The same day, he also realized squirrels live on the trees around my home, and became obsessed with them. Since then, walks have taken a turn for the worse. He is completely frantic, is constantly over threshold and agitated, ignores food treats (which helped me so much with his reactivity training) and walks staring up and pulling at trees when walking down the street... or pulls into bushes when at the dog park. There's no escaping, basically.

The "good" thing I guess is that he is now so obsessed with potential preys that he completely ignores dogs. No reaction, but also not a lot of interest in interacting (just wants to look for rats or squirrels).t The problem is walks are hell. I have also quickly realized that the harness I was using to train him makes it very easy for him to "run over me". I've begun switching to his collar (it's not a choke collar, just a normal fabric one) to try and have bit more control when he's pulling like crazy, and it's helped. He's better able to self pace and regulate when I switch to the collar. But now I'm worried this will in turn worsen his reactivity, as I know most positive trainers recommend harnesses to reduce discomfort on the dog!

I'm just at such a loss and frustrated, and not really sure what to do know. Have you had success reducing your dog's reactivity while still wearing a collar and creating some discomfort (short quick pull) in the face of unwanted habits? Is this a terrible idea? How can I redirect, reduce or control his prey drive? What has worked for you in the past? I'm really trying to do the best I can for this dog, but this new situation just feels like everything came undone.

Thank you for any recommendations or thoughts!

hey everyone,

my partner recently got laid off and is now hoping to reconnect with some of his passions after several years of overworking and overstressing. I suggested taking a week or two off at a surf camp in Central America, which he liked. He's goofy, 42 and is in very good physical shape (just completed a high altitude ultra-marathon a couple of weeks ago, etc) so he'd like a place with some medium to advanced and advanced waves.; he's not looking for coaching or classes, and would prefer an all-inclusive place, so he doesn't have to worry about how much he is spending per day in food, etc. He would also prefer to avoid hangovered 20-somethings, but would like a chiller, more comfortable place, with single rooms rather than dorms. It's also ok if the staff speaks mostly Spanish as we're from South America.

Could you share some recommendations? Open to anywhere in Central America. He's thinking about traveling in September, which I know is wet season, but should have some waves. Any leads are much appreciated - help me help him through this transitional period of his life, ha.

First, I want to say just how important this community is to me. I have a moderately dog reactive pup, that I found and took in as a stray three months ago. I wasn't planning on adopting a second dog, but I couldn't say no to him, as he was clearly lost/abandoned and desperate for help. He is a great pup, he's loving, sweet and patient with my senior dog (who can be pretty cranky), playful and smart. He is also a pretty large and strong dog, and leash reactive on walks. He also still reacts a lot to sounds in my apartment building or outside, as we live in a main street. It's been more than I was looking to manage at a particularly complex period of my life. In that sense, this sub has been a life saver: just being part of a community of people going through similar things and loving reactive dogs truly means the world.

I know most of us come here when we are at a loss of what to do, or when we are frustrated, desperate, scared and anxious. I know how important it is to be able to do that. However, I think a lot of us could also benefit from reading about the wins we can experience with our reactive dogs as well. While some cases end in the most heartbreaking results, lots of reactive dogs learn to cope with their reactivity, stop being reactive or experience a lot of success with adequate management. I would love to read about that - I think it's important to remember there can also be a light at the end of the tunnel for so many of us!
Here are my two little wins:

1. I bought a white noise machine and my dog's reactions to outside noises at night have gone down to almost zero (there might still be an occasional trigger that will cause him to bark like a maniac if something too loud is happening outside, but it's not often - definitely not 3-4 times per night as before).

2. My dog's becoming better at coming back from over threshold. Most (not all) of the time, when he's gone over threshold, I can redirect his attention with yummy treats and get him to focus on me again, even if the other dog is still close by. That is HUGE progress and not something I would have imagined possible before.

What about you and your pup? I wanna hear your success stories :)

UPDATE: Thank you all for your kind, thorough answers. I just ordered a Lectrofan white noise machine, and will be placing it next to the window. My hope is that I can start at a high setting and then slowly make my way down as my dog incorporates these sounds into his brain as non-threatening. He also slept in my bedroom (with the door open) last night, but woke up barking at 1am. I closed the door and we managed to have non-stop sleep until 8am. I will also work my way into opening the door in a few nights. Wish me luck!

Hi, desperately looking for guidance here! About 40-45 days I found a stray that I took in believing he was just lost and that we’d find his family. He's a pretty large dog, that seems to have some terrier or giant schnauzer in him (I gave in and bought an Embark DNA test cause I'm so curious about him). He's a great dog: chill, mellow, playful though not overwhelming, kind of aloof with other dogs (which I prefer) and gets along amazingly with my senior dog (meaning, he lets him be, so there is no tension between them, as my senior dog can be grumpy with other dogs). He is just slightly dog reactive, but it’s not often and it’s improving through positive reinforcement.

HOWEVER - this dog has a bark that could freeze hell. It's terrifying, deep and incredibly loud. It's more like a roar, and it does feel like the mightiest of beasts is trying to warm you about the end of the world. It's... a lot. We live in an apartment building and during the first few weeks, he would bark at any unknown sound, like doors closing in other apartments or voices in the hallway. He's now completely integrated those sounds into "safe" sounds, so he doesn't feel the need to alert us. However, he will bark in the middle of the night and wake us up, often quite a few times over the night, whenever an unexpected sound comes in from the street.

The problem is that we live on a sixth floor in a central area, so at least once or twice someone will walk by at 2 or 4am loudly talking to someone, talking on their phone, etc. When he's asleep and this happens, he bolts barking and stands by the window barking—I guess either trying to alert us or scaring the "threat" away. He does not bark at the window during the day, even if there are dogs walking by and making lots of noise. It's just a watchdog instinct I guess.

What can I do to make this better? How have you helped your dog be quiet(er) to outside noises particularly at night? My husband did NOT want to take this dog in, he is still not convinced, but I'm trying to give him a chance. If he continues to wake us up several times a night, however, it might be impossible to keep him. So far, I just stand from my bed, go to where he is and call him and praise him once he settles, so he knows there's no risk, but I don't know what else to do. I don’t scold or yell at him as I know this will most likely only increase his fear to the sound.

Anything that might have worked for you is most welcomed.

tl;dr: my dog barks at night when woken up by unexpected sounds and I need some advice on how to help him understand these sounds are not a threat - or at least make him stop barking.

Hi! Title pretty self-explanatory. I have a new rescue that loves to get his nose into anything he finds (definitely lots of terrier on this dude) and was thinking nose work could be super fun for him. Unfortunately I live in a country where 1) essential oils are expensive and 2) I cannot for the life of me find a scent can with little holes to put inside a vessel.

I was thinking I could just add a bunch of clove heads to a little jar and rather than covering it with its lid I could cover it with some plastic wrap and pierce little holes in it - and then place that inside the larger jar for my dog to sniff. Do you think this could potentially work? Or do you have better suggestions? Sorry if this is a silly question - just found out about nosework a couple of days ago!

Just curious to know if other people can relate...

A month ago I rescued a stray who, like most reactive dogs, is a total sweetheart and couch potato when at home. He has moderate reactivity when walking: he's fine with small dogs, but can overreact with larger dogs, although 97% of the time he's able to manage it with positive reinforcement and some distance (which we are narrowing day by day). So far it's going as well as it can be expected. There have been some frustrating walks, for sure, and he can also react just when I think I have it all under control, which doesn't make me feel amazing. He’s also a pretty big and strong dog so when he does react it can be a lot.

My other dog, on the other hand, is exactly the type of dog you dream about when imagining how you'll take your dog everywhere, how he'll sit at cafes, how he'll self-regulate even around the most annoying dogs. I've had him for ten years (also found him as a stray) and he really is amazing. I’ve been spoiled was him and was definitely caught slightly off-guard when this started happening.

What I've noticed, however, is that I'm enjoying the walks now more. Before, I could walk my dog while scrolling my phone or mindlessly listen to podcasts. My walks never felt like a chance to truly disconnect from being online, because my dog didn't really need me to. Now, I go on 1-hour plus walks with my two dogs with no headphones, no looking at my phone, no nothing, because I need to keep an eye on what's going on around us. I'm lucky his reactivity is pretty manageable, but still - it does need to be managed. And my brain just goes into total offline mode while walking together, because it doesn’t have a choice. I focus on the sounds, I notice what's going on around us while simultaneously keeping my attention on him... and my brain just feels, rested. Yes, walks might be more stressful, but also, in a weird way, more healing for my brain. Has anyone else experienced this???

Hello everyone! Sorry for the long post - but I want to try and include all relevant details here!

I've had my share of reactive dogs throughout my life (it's quite often the price we pay for rescuing!), which have been treated with varying degrees of success. My understanding of reactivity has certainly improved over the years, which helped me move from choke collars to positive reinforcement and from punishment-based dog trainers to behaviorists. And despite the mental and financial toll, I've often found living with reactive dogs quite motivating. You do bond a lot with your dog when you understand what they need and are able to guide them in the right direction. All this to say, I'm not a newbie to reactivity - including dogs that that have needed permanent muzzling on any type of walk.

HOWEVER, all my dogs have always been dog-reactive, never people reactive - so I feel more at a loss now.

I have an 11-year old border collie mix who is an absolute joy. Smart as hell, chill and non-reactive, though rather aloof with both people and other dogs. A month ago, I rescued a stray I found near my house (you can see them both here). He gets along swimmingly with my older dog. They don't play, but they are settling into what will hopefully continue to be total peaceful cohabitation. He's a medium to large dog, with a bark that sounds like what you'd hear at the gates of hell. When he's out and about, he's absolutely non reactive with people. People can greet him, pet him, kids come near him... and he's the most stable dog ever, completely reliable. The issue is once we're home.

If anyone rings the bell and comes into my apartment, this dog will go into I MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE AT ALL COSTS mode and its honestly terrifying. He will bark with the loudest bark you've ever heard, will not step down and, if not leashed, will jump at the guests (he's never bitten, thank god, until not yet). I've been instructing guests to sit in the living room with me and just wait for him to calm down, at which moment we start throwing treats at him. Once the dog relaxes, the guest can stand up, move around the house, hug me, etc. and I can unleash the dog and he will be a super chilled, relaxed dog again. But something activates when someone comes through the door, even if he's met them before. Example: my boyfriend just spent two days at my apartment, even staying alone with the dogs for a couple of hours, but after he left for a couple of hours, we had to do the whole thing over again, as if they had never met before.

I'd love to hear what has worked with you in cases like this. As I understand it, this doesn't seem to be an extreme case. The behaviorist that saw him said it was a great sign that he was able to calm down after a minute or two, and that he became super friendly and reliable after that. We're gonna start working together next week, but I also would love to hear about your experience.

I guess since I've never experienced this before, I don't know whether this is fear-based reactivity or just protection/territorial instincts. My guess is each requires a different way of addressing the issue. I'm guessing reactivity can be managed by getting at the root cause and enforcing positive interactions, but a dog that has some watchdog genes in them might need to be given a different type of "work" when guests come in?

Anyway, let me know what you think and was has worked for you! I was not planning on adopting a new dog - I just took him in cause I was certain he was lost and that we'd find his owners/family. If I can't get this situation under control I will have to send him to a private shelter (and pay a monthly fee to keep him there, because we have no city shelters here like in the US). He's great, but I was just hoping to find his family... I'd love to keep him, he's a fantastic, sweet, silly, easy-going guy... except when he turns into a terrifying monster whenever someone comes into the house, and I don't want to isolate myself or be terrified of having people over from now on.

Hello everyone! I've had my share of reactive dogs throughout my life (it's quite often the price we pay for rescuing!), which have been treated with varying degrees of success. My understanding of reactivity has certainly improved over the years, which helped me move from choke collars to positive reinforcement and from punishment-based dog trainers to behaviorists. And despite the mental and financial toll, I've often found living with reactive dogs quite motivating. You do bond a lot with your dog when you understand what they need and are able to guide them in the right direction. All this to say, I'm not a newbie to reactivity - including dogs that that have needed long-term muzzling on any type of walk.

HOWEVER, all my dogs have always been dog-reactive, never people reactive. I have an 11-year old border collie mix who is an absolute joy. Smart as hell, chill and non-reactive, though rather aloof with both people and other dogs. A month ago, I rescued a stray I found near my house (you can see them both here). He gets along swimmingly with my older dog. They don't play, but they are settling into what will hopefully continue to be total peaceful cohabitation. He's a medium to large dog, with a bark that sounds like what you'd hear at the gates of hell. When he's out and about, he's absolutely non reactive with people. People can greet him, pet him, kids come near him... and he's the most stable dog ever, completely reliable. The issue is once we're home.

If anyone rings the bell and comes into my apartment, this dog will go into I MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE AT ALL COSTS mode and its honestly terrifying. He will bark with the loudest bark you've ever heard, will not step down and, if not leashed, will jump at the guests (he's never bitten, thank god, until not yet). I've been instructing guests to sit in the living room with me and just wait for him to calm down, at which moment we start throwing treats at him. Once the dog relaxes, the guest can stand up, move around the house, hug me, etc. and I can unleash the dog and he will be a super chilled, relaxed dog again. But something activates when someone comes through the door, even if he's met them before. Example: my boyfriend just spent two days at my apartment, even staying alone with the dogs for a couple of hours, but after he left for a couple of hours, we had to do the whole thing over again, as if they had never met before.

I'd love to hear what has worked with you in cases like this. As I understand it, this doesn't seem to be an extreme case. The behaviorist that saw him said it was a great sign that he was able to calm down after a minute or two, and that he became super friendly and reliable after that. We're gonna start working together next week, but I also would love to hear about your experience.

I guess since I've never experienced this before, I don't know whether this is fear-based reactivity or just protection/territorial instincts. My guess is each requires a different way of addressing the issue. I'm guessing reactivity can be managed by getting at the root cause and enforcing positive interactions, but a dog that has some watchdog genes in them might need to be given a different type of "work" when guests come in?

Anyway, let me know what you think and was has worked for you! I was not planning on adopting a new dog - I just took him in cause I was certain he was lost and that we'd find his owners/family. If I can't get this situation under control I will have to send him to a private shelter (and pay a monthly fee to keep him there, because we have no city shelters here like in the US). I'd love to keep him, he's a fantastic, sweet, silly, easy-going guy... except when he turns into a terrifying monster whenever someone comes into the house.