u/kylee_17

Hi everyone! I posted this on another subreddit and was advised to come here for advice so here it goes. (Sorry it’s so long)

I (19F) have always had a pretty good relationship with my dad (49M) since my mom wasn’t exactly the best to me for a majority of my childhood. My parents separated when I was only a few months old so having different views on them was always normal to me. My mom had more custody over me so when I did see my dad it was always sort of a “no big rules and have fun” time over at his house.

When I got old enough (13) to realize the abuse my mom was actually inflicting on me I left. I went to live with my dad full time and it stayed that way for a few years. Over that time I started noticing a difference with him, I always told myself it was just because I was seeing him all the time now instead of partly so obviously he wasn’t really that picture perfect version I had of him for a long time.

I started to notice he would drink a lot and almost every day. I understood that it’s normal for adults to have a drink to wind down but it was always way more than one. I didn’t like the person he became when drunk. He got mean and always found a way to say really mean things to/about me. Also correct me if I’m wrong (I don’t know much about this stuff) but he also smoked a bunch of weed. I know people say it’s not addictive but I feel like the amount and how frequently he uses reads as a textbook addiction. I also understand this subreddit isn’t for that so I don’t expect anyone to have advice for that aspect of it.

I’m writing this post because we’ve been getting into more frequent arguments over his drinking and smoking habits. I only ever bring it up because I truly am concerned about him. I really don’t want my dad to die young and since i’m an only child everything would fall back on me. I understand he’s a grown man and I can’t control what he does but all his habits lead to are an earlier death and strain on our relationship. Whenever I bring it up I make sure It’s in a calm and concerned manner. I never get mad at him or try to make him feel guilty about it, I always just voice my concerns and let him know how much it’s affecting me.

Just last night he came home from work at almost 4:00 a.m. which shouldn’t be the case. His job closes at 11:30 p.m. and it takes 1 hour to close up at most. Every time he comes home he’s drunk and reeks of weed. Him coming home so late always wakes me up and I’m the kind of person who can’t fall back asleep once I’m up. I don’t know why he can’t seem to grasp that I have a life and responsibilities too, him barging in the door at 4:00 a.m. and disrupting my sleep messes up my whole next day. For example, this time he came home and woke me up out of a dead sleep and I have an important appointment at 8:00 a.m. which I told him about multiple times days prior. Now I’m laying here wide awake writing this because I just feel so disrespected and honestly hopeless.

I also recently got a puppy and my dad hasn’t even been attempting to help train it. I understood that it was going to be my dog when we got it but I feel like him just refusing to even try to enforce the commands I’ve set up is only making it harder for me. I expressed this to him, and how exhausted I have been. And he told me it’s “not that hard” but he doesn’t have to get up in the middle of the night to take the dog out, he doesn’t have to listen to the constant barking and crying, and he doesn’t have to work relentlessly to get the dog to listen. I’m just so incredibly frustrated with his lack of empathy or consideration for other people. I know it comes out the worst when he drinks but he drinks every single night. It’s like he literally doesn’t know when to stop or that he can’t stop.

I’m also not sure if my dad actually has an addiction because I’ve never personally experienced it with anyone else in my life. My whole family tends to drink regularly but that’s just how it’s always been. I personally don’t drink or do drugs so I really don’t know what’s normal and what’s not. I’m especially torn because during the day he’s a very present and loving dad to me. He definitely smokes quite a bit of weed through the day but it seems like once it starts to get dark he just goes crazy with the drinking.

I’d just really appreciate some advice on what to do if there’s anything I can do. Sorry if this sounds scrambled, I’m exhausted and frustrated to my wits end.

Hi everyone! I posted this on another subreddit and was advised to come here for advice so here it goes.

I (19F) have always had a pretty good relationship with my dad (49M) since my mom wasn’t exactly the best to me for a majority of my childhood. My parents separated when I was only a few months old so having different views on them was always normal to me. My mom had more custody over me so when I did see my dad it was always sort of a “no big rules and have fun” time over at his house.

When I got old enough (13) to realize the abuse my mom was actually inflicting on me I left. I went to live with my dad full time and it stayed that way for a few years. Over that time I started noticing a difference with him, I always told myself it was just because I was seeing him all the time now instead of partly so obviously he wasn’t really that picture perfect version I had of him for a long time.

I started to notice he would drink a lot and almost every day. I understood that it’s normal for adults to have a drink to wind down but it was always way more than one. I didn’t like the person he became when drunk. He got mean and always found a way to say really mean things to/about me. Also correct me if I’m wrong (I don’t know much about this stuff) but he also smoked a bunch of weed. I know people say it’s not addictive but I feel like the amount and how frequently he uses reads as a textbook addiction. I also understand this subreddit isn’t for that so I don’t expect anyone to have advice for that aspect of it.

I’m writing this post because we’ve been getting into more frequent arguments over his drinking and smoking habits. I only ever bring it up because I truly am concerned about him. I really don’t want my dad to die young and since i’m an only child everything would fall back on me. I understand he’s a grown man and I can’t control what he does but all his habits lead to are an earlier death and strain on our relationship. Whenever I bring it up I make sure It’s in a calm and concerned manner. I never get mad at him or try to make him feel guilty about it, I always just voice my concerns and let him know how much it’s affecting me.

Just last night he came home from work at almost 4:00 a.m. which shouldn’t be the case. His job closes at 11:30 p.m. and it takes 1 hour to close up at most. Every time he comes home he’s drunk and reeks of weed. Him coming home so late always wakes me up and I’m the kind of person who can’t fall back asleep once I’m up. I don’t know why he can’t seem to grasp that I have a life and responsibilities too, him barging in the door at 4:00 a.m. and disrupting my sleep messes up my whole next day. For example, this time he came home and woke me up out of a dead sleep and I have an important appointment at 8:00 a.m. which I told him about multiple times days prior. Now I’m laying here wide awake writing this because I just feel so disrespected and honestly hopeless.

I also recently got a puppy and my dad hasn’t even been attempting to help train it. I understood that it was going to be my dog when we got it but I feel like him just refusing to even try to enforce the commands I’ve set up is only making it harder for me. I expressed this to him, and how exhausted I have been. And he told me it’s “not that hard” but he doesn’t have to get up in the middle of the night to take the dog out, he doesn’t have to listen to the constant barking and crying, and he doesn’t have to work relentlessly to get the dog to listen. I’m just so incredibly frustrated with his lack of empathy or consideration for other people. I know it comes out the worst when he drinks but he drinks every single night. It’s like he literally doesn’t know when to stop or that he can’t stop.

I’m also not sure if my dad actually has an addiction because I’ve never personally experienced it with anyone else in my life. My whole family tends to drink regularly but that’s just how it’s always been. I personally don’t drink or do drugs so I really don’t know what’s normal and what’s not. I’m especially torn because during the day he’s a very present and loving dad to me. He definitely smokes quite a bit of weed through the day but it seems like once it starts to get dark he just goes crazy with the drinking.

I’d just really appreciate some advice on what to do if there’s anything I can do. Sorry if this sounds scrambled, I’m exhausted and frustrated to my wits end.

Hi everyone!

Posting this again since I didn’t get any response the first time and I’m really struggling with what to do. I (19F) have always had a pretty good relationship with my dad (49M) since my mom wasn’t exactly the best to me for a majority of my childhood. My parents separated when I was only a few months old so having different views on them was always normal to me. My mom had more custody over me so when I did see my dad it was always sort of a “no big rules and have fun” time over at his house.

When I got old enough (13) to realize the abuse my mom was actually inflicting on me I left. I went to live with my dad full time and it stayed that way for a few years. Over that time I started noticing a difference with him, I always told myself it was just because I was seeing him all the time now instead of partly so obviously he wasn’t really that picture perfect version I had of him for a long time.

I started to notice he would drink a lot and almost every day. I understood that it’s normal for adults to have a drink to wind down but it was always way more than one. I didn’t like the person he became when drunk. He got mean and always found a way to say really mean things to/about me. Also correct me if I’m wrong (I don’t know much about this stuff) but he also smoked a bunch of weed. I know people say it’s not addictive but I feel like the amount and how frequently he uses reads as a textbook addiction.

I’m writing this post because we’ve been getting into more frequent arguments over his drinking and smoking habits. I only ever bring it up because I truly am concerned about him. I really don’t want my dad to die young and since i’m an only child everything would fall back on me. I understand he’s a grown man and I can’t control what he does but all his habits lead to are an earlier death and strain on our relationship.

Just last night he came home from work at almost 4:00 a.m. which shouldn’t be the case. His job closes at 11:30 p.m. and it takes 1 hour to close up at most. Every time he comes home he’s drunk and reeks of weed. Him coming home so late always wakes me up and I’m the kind of person who can’t fall back asleep once I’m up. I don’t know why he can’t seem to grasp that I have a life and responsibilities too, him barging in the door at 4:00 a.m. and disrupting my sleep messes up my whole next day. For example, this time he came home and woke me up out of a dead sleep and I have an important appointment at 8:00 a.m. which I TOLD HIM ABOUT. Now I’m laying here wide awake writing this because I just feel so disrespected and honestly hopeless.

I also recently got a puppy and my dad hasn’t even been attempting to help train it. I understood that it was going to be my dog when we got it but I feel like him just refusing to even try to enforce the commands I’ve set up is only making it harder for me. I expressed this to him, and how exhausted I have been. And he told me it’s “not that hard” but he doesn’t have to get up in the middle of the night to take the dog out, he doesn’t have to listen to the constant barking and crying, and he doesn’t have to work relentlessly to get the dog to listen. I’m just so incredibly frustrated with his lack of empathy or consideration for other people. I know it comes out the worst when he drinks but he drinks every single night. It’s like he literally doesn’t know when to stop or that he can’t stop.

I’d just really appreciate some advice on what to do if there’s anything I can do. Sorry if this sounds scrambled, I’m exhausted and frustrated to my wits end.

Hi all.

Just coming on here to ask some advice.

This morning I took my 10 week old mini dachshund out to potty and he had some very watery diarrhea. I looked in it and didn’t see any worms or anything but I’m very worried about parvo since he’s not fully vaccinated yet. As for letting him outside I’ve kept him contained to my backyard and took him over to my moms to meet her fully vaccinated 11 year old lab a few days ago. So I don’t really have any worry about him contracting something from an unvaccinated pet but I guess I’m just a worried first time dog mom.

I’ll mention that I did change his food up a bit yesterday, I added in some boiled chicken and carrots along with his regular kibble. So I’m thinking that may have caused it. I’m just worried about him possibly being sick. Another problem we’re running into is unfortunately it’s Sunday so most of the vets around me are closed until 9:00 a.m. tomorrow.

He’s playing, eating and drinking just fine otherwise which is good but he did have a little accident of the diarrhea in the house. I also keep hearing a lot of gut noises coming from him which is new. Please if anyone has advice let me know if this is vet visit worthy or not.

Hi first time dog mom here and I’m looking for advice, not judgement. I’m on night two of having my 8 week old mini dachshund and I’m so exhausted. The first night went alright, he fell asleep outside of his crate around 10:00 p.m. and slept soundly through the night until about 7:00 a.m. (even when I transferred him from the floor to his crate beside my bed in my room). It’s now night two and he put up a little fuss before bed, barking and whining in his crate for about ten minutes. It all seemed well but now it’s nearly 1:30 a.m. and he won’t stop barking. I took him out to potty and that wasn’t it, now he’s back in his crate just barking so loud. I’m honestly so exhausted and at my wits end from a bit of a restless sleep even the night before. Please help if you have any suggestions on what to do. I love this little guy with my whole heart but I don’t know if I could stand another night of this barking torture.

Hello! I’m getting a mini dachshund puppy in a few days and am wondering how I can prevent him from contracting Parvovirus specifically. Since he won’t be fully vaccinated by the time I bring him home. He’ll be 8 weeks old when I get him with his first round of shots completed. I’m not sure how to go about socializing him before he’s fully vaccinated. I live split time between my parents houses and have a fully vaccinated 11 year old yellow lab over my moms that I want to introduce my puppy to, I’m just not sure when would be safe. Also, my backyard at my dads isn’t fully fenced in. We have a fence that runs along the back but the front entrances near our door and driveway are open. I want to get started with potty training as soon as I can but I’m not sure if it’ll be safe considering my backyard isn’t completely fenced in. I’d greatly appreciate any advice or suggestions :)