u/littlet4lkss

And not in a good way. I feel like since I started working, I became such a shitty version of myself. I find myself not being as patient anymore and just overall easily irritated. I feel overwhelmed at the thought of going in every day. I dread certain sessions. I have always had anxiety and I do have OCD and PMDD but I seem to have unlocked a whole new level of feeling like complete garbage within the past two years (started working in 2022).

At first, I attributed it to my toxic workplace that I was at since my CF. Then I switched jobs this school year, and while it isn’t as toxic as my last, there are still issues and I’m starting to think there might not be a “good” job for me in this field.

Maybe I am just in the deep pits of luteal hell (IYKYK), but I guess I’m just….. tired. It is getting harder to justify doing this job each year. Anyone else relate? 😩

Does anyone experience their PMDD symptoms around these days as well? Sometimes it starts day 10 too. This has been consistent for three cycles now for me feeling horrible anxiety, emotional, mood swings, and irritability on these days. And it is weird because I will get one or two day “break” and then I get my ovulation symptoms around day 15/16 until luteal starts kicking my ass starting from day 20 until my period begins day 28/29.

I guess I am just confused because everything I see says that estrogen is surging and that is supposed to lead to feeling better and being in a good mood but for some reason my brain is the opposite. I do feel better and not as foggy as luteal but I just always feel this irritability that isn’t as easy to shake during these days. It just feels like mood swing central in my brain right now on day 12.

(Should also mention that I am 28).

Disclaimer that I only work with preschoolers so essentially 4-5 year olds.

I have maybe one or two kids who will actually play a board game (like candyland) and even those pop up surprise games according to the rules and take turns with very minimal prompting/demonstrations/explanation of the rules. The other 85% of my kids either are self directed, want to take multiple turns in a row, “cheat”, or shut down if they aren’t winning or when I enforce the rules of the game.

There is definitely a level of silliness and sometimes I find myself “allowing” kids to either win or do whatever shenanigans they want (like making up their own rules or wanting to go twice in a row) in the name of going with the flow and following their lead. But today I was reflecting if this is/isn’t the best approach. It almost makes me not want to bring in games because some of these kids genuinely will not play unless its their way or if they win.

I always talk about winning/losing graciously but part of me thinks that its an age thing with my caseload since they are still so young.

I am not a mom and I really do not interact with this age range outside of work so I have no idea if this is typical for this age or not.

I am looking for any anecdotes from others about how they handle stuff like this (explaining games, rules, etc). One of my weakest areas after being a therapist for 5 years is handling behaviors and while I feel like I have gotten better at being assertive, I still worry that I am either being too mean or not stern enough.

- the bridge in end of august
- “have you ever stared directly at the sun?”
- “call me when the bugs don’t die and the spring looks just like autumn”
- the rest of paid time off starting from “and your love is like an open flame”
- 🗣️”I TRY. TO KEEP. ON STARTING OVERRRR”
-“23, clean in the engine heat, teachin’ me how the thing runs”
- the entirety of all them horses
- chorus of orbiter

I am reaching a point where I am more self aware of my OCD but I still struggle immensely.

I work in education and while I have multiple different OCD themes, I do feel like I get increased intrusive thoughts at work simply because stress is a trigger for me and work is a stressful environment for me.

I was doom-scrolling on reddit yesterday and ended up getting triggered by something I read, after already experiencing a high anxiety day (also on my period rn). I had a horrible sleep as I was panicking as I fell asleep and when I woke up, I just struggled to shake the feeling of being scared and feeling guilt and shame. Recently, during my period, I experience resurfacing of either past traumas or my real event OCD events from different events from years ago.

I called out of work because I just was not feeling good and was scared honestly. But now I am reflecting and feel like I was engaging in avoidance.

I am struggling with the concept of deserving rest and taking care of myself but also not giving in to the OCD. And then there is always that doubt of what if I don’t even have OCD.

I feel like such a coward. I have had the intake form open on my computer for therapy for months now and I am just so scared to fill it out and start therapy despite knowing that I do not want to feel like this anymore. I’m just scared of learning more about myself and resurfacing stuff and I am worried about sharing my multiple themes.

This became a word vomit but I hope someone can find this relatable or has any advice :(

This is the second cycle in a row that I am noticing this and wanted to know if anyone else experienced this phenomenon.

So I get the debilitating anxiety, adrenaline dumps, racing thoughts, and heightened OCD symptoms during luteal (and sometimes ovulation) and it peaks basically a day or two before my period, which I understand is the PMDD.

But this cycle I have had this weird resurfacing of past events/traumas that have caused me anxiety, ruminating for hours on end, sadness. It will be stuff that usually triggers my real event OCD or stuff that happened so long ago. And this happens like clockwork on day 3 and 4 of my period. Last cycle, I still felt it on day 5 but it was like a veil was lifted from my eyes and I was able to reason with myself and cope better before returning to baseline anxiety/OCD.

The thing I am wondering about is if this is hormonal or if I am just getting triggered by things that happen to affect me and it keeps falling during my period.

I know a lot of PMDD symptoms happens before period starting, but does anyone experience something like this?

I actually ended up taking a day off from work today because I felt so scared and debilitated but now I feel like I just engaged in an avoidance compulsion due to my OCD :(

Does anyone else experience spotting while in the midst of luteal hell?

For the past two cycles, on around day 24-27 (I typically have 28-30 day cycles like clockwork), I start having what I believe is either spotting, leftover blood/brown discharge, breakthrough bleeding??, or my period starting early. It comes with cramps, fatigue, nausea, and floaty feeling in my head. This is all happening while also having my typical PMDD emotional symptoms.

It’s day 24 for me now and I am experiencing horrendous cramping (started feeling it yesterday but not as intense) and bloody brown discharge coming at a rate that I needed to put a liner on.

The weird thing is that I don’t usually “count” it as day 1 because in a few days after it starts, I get what I would consider to be my “normal” period, where the flow is more consistent and I find the need to change my pad regularly.

Does anyone else experience this? Usually my symptoms subside once I start bleeding, but this new “spotting” business is messing with that. Last month’s cycle I didn’t really feel relief until day 4 of my period. :(

I am not sure if I have a sensitivity to progesterone dropping or what to even track or look into regarding this.