u/littlet4lkss

Spoilers for the whole book. I finished it two days ago and I was tossing and turning in bed and randomly thought was it ever explained if >!Irene was a were or was she human? I assume Were because she was Constantine’s sister but I can’t remember if that was ever explained or if she was human?!<

Maybe I am reading too much into it but does anyone have any theories for the trajectory of Veya’s character arc? Do we think there is a bigger revelation to come as to why the miskuun said it had to be Veya to take out the Nevans or is it simply because she was the youngest?

I know the answer is probably fluctuating hormones, but does anyone else experience luteal phase level anxiety, overthinking, mood swings, and dark/sad thoughts on the last day of their cycle (for me, this is day 5).

It is honestly so weird but extremely consistent for me (days 4-6 on various cycles since I started tracking in January). The pattern goes from feeling relief from no longer needing a pad and reduced physical symptoms from my period, increased libido, and then hours later I am anxious/irritated/depressed.

This book took me two months to read. Not because it was bad or anything but because life got in the way and I barely made time to read. So enjoy my rambling on the story because I have no one IRL to talk about this with! 🤪

Overall I give it a 4.5/5. I love the world, the characters, the magic system, the dragons, etc. Kaan continues to be my favorite MMC. I also really loved Raeve and her development in this book. I know she (and the first book in general) is polarizing but I loved her then and continued to love her. I feel like she is a very interesting portrayal of how people carry their trauma and she resonates with me (as someone who has a tendency to want to avoid things 🫠). I know that her reluctance to face her past annoys people and I get that, but it honestly feels realistic in a sense.

I also love how in both books, there is some humor embedded in because I genuinely cackled at some parts/characters internal dialogue.

I loved all the different perspectives and how things came together. I have a lot of unanswered questions that make me excited for the next book!!

Idk if it is because I read it for a long time, but the first half felt a little bit… stronger to me?? Like I had more moments where I was like OH SNAP and then towards the last half of the book, the vibes are more somber and emotional. It kinda reminded me of when I read The Assassin’s Blade >!and having already known that Sam dies bc I read TOG first but having that feeling in your stomach knowing that part is coming up in the last part of the story. I felt like that when we finally get the memory of how Elluwin died.!<

Also >!literally fuck Arkyn like that man really thought Raeve would sit on a throne next to him after all of THAT???? The fuck!!! I thought he was a pretty good villain but upon reading other people’s perspectives, yeah, he does seem like a loser lmao but I think that was the point??? Maybe he will play a bigger role in the next book?!< >!🤷🏻‍♀️!<

Also the scene towards the end with >!Rygun??? Im sorry but that dragon better not be DEAD.!<

>!I am intrigued to see what will happen with Haedon. I kinda saw that possibly coming but still was slightly gagged and am hoping that Sereme isn’t going to fuck with him sigh!!!! Also I’m interested to see whats up with Essi and Pyrok and Dothea.!<

Also did I miss something because I can’t figure out what happened to Roan? I think I got a little confused after Ahvi was introduced.

Overall I really enjoyed it but something felt… missing??? I am still torn of whether I prefer this one or the first one. I think the first one will always be special to me because of the journal entries and everything being woven together. But this was a good sequel and def answered a lot of my questions from the first book. I felt kinda emotionally numb after finishing Ballad whereas I was reeling and buzzing after finishing WTMH. So idk… I guess I have complicated feelings about Ballad that lean more positively than negatively??? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anyway thank you for coming to my unhinged review lol. Now I can finally unblock this book from my keywords on my socials to see what everyone else thought!

This book took me two months to read. Not because it was bad or anything but because life got in the way and I barely made time to read. So enjoy my rambling on the story because I have no one IRL to talk about this with! 🤪

Overall I give it a 4.5/5. I love the world, the characters, the magic system, the dragons, etc. Kaan continues to be my favorite MMC. I also really loved Raeve and her development in this book. I know she (and the first book in general) is polarizing but I loved her then and continued to love her. I feel like she is a very interesting portrayal of how people carry their trauma and she resonates with me (as someone who has a tendency to want to avoid things 🫠). I know that her reluctance to face her past annoys people and I get that, but it honestly feels realistic in a sense.

I also love how in both books, there is some humor embedded in because I genuinely cackled at some parts/characters internal dialogue.

I loved all the different perspectives and how things came together. I have a lot of unanswered questions that make me excited for the next book!!

Idk if it is because I read it for a long time, but the first half felt a little bit… stronger to me?? Like I had more moments where I was like OH SNAP and then towards the last half of the book, the vibes are more somber and emotional. It kinda reminded me of when I read The Assassin’s Blade and >!having already known that Sam dies bc I read TOG first but having that feeling in your stomach knowing that part is coming up in the last part of the story. I felt like that when we finally get the memory of how Elluwin died.!<

Also >!literally fuck Arkyn like that man really thought Raeve would sit on a throne next to him after all of THAT???? The fuck!!! But also he was definitely a really good villain like holy shit.!<

Also >!the scene towards the end with Rygun??? Im sorry but that dragon better not be DEAD.!<

I am intrigued to see what will happen with >!Haedon. I kinda saw that possibly coming but still was slightly gagged and am hoping that Sereme isn’t going to fuck with him sigh!!!!!<

Overall I really enjoyed it! I am still torn of whether I prefer this one or the first one. I think the first one will always be special to me because of the journal entries and everything being woven together. But this was a good sequel and def answered a lot of my questions from the first book.

Anyway thank you for coming to my unhinged review lol. Now I can finally unblock this book from my keywords on my socials to see what everyone else thought!

The vibes were honestly immaculate. I loved the Teal Mask story and it was fun just catching pokemon and trying to complete the pokedex. I loved the outfits, ogerpon, the cultural aspects, and it was just super fun to play.

I’m on the Indigo Disk now and have done 3/4 of the E4. I don’t hate BB Academy but I miss Kitakami lmao. I think the concept of the terrarium is neat but it just gets annoying seeing clusters of deerling in every biome. Also as a casual pokemon fan, the double battles and using strategies to tackle the E4 have been a learning curve. I’m excited to see where the story goes and the character arcs though.

I didn’t think anything could top The Way Home but so far I would probably say Kitakami is my fav part of Violet.

And by “beginning”, I mean more-so 4th of July/end of school year (where I live schools don’t get out until June 25/26 and I work in education).

This is just going to be a rant incoming. I felt like I wanted to post this in case anyone else feels similarly.

I still live at home with my parents at 28. They always host for 4th of July and my older sister comes up and some other family members visit. It’s a whole thing and while I do love summer and look forward to this, I also have horrible anxiety.

This is the second year in a row where my PMDD symptoms aligns perfectly with the days leading up to, including, and after Fourth of July. I had a huge crash out/argument with my sister last year over me wanting to self isolate because where I live becomes super crowded during the holiday week/weekend and the beaches/pools become so packed that I could barely think about going due to my anxiety/OCD. We ended up reconciling later in the day but it really stung and now I am afraid of the same thing happening this year.

My sister is coming soon and will be staying with me in my room for a few days. I think I am just getting anxious about how overstimulating everything will be and feeling like I need to be “on” because I’ll have a “guest”, if that makes sense. Oh, and where I live is also in a heat wave right now, fun times!!! /s

I just hate feeling this way like why can’t I just be normal about spending time with family and engaging in summer activities??? And its funny because ironically enough, I have horrible seasonal depression in the winter and look forward to this time of the year but it is always so stressful.

I legit can’t wait until 4th of July is over lowkey!

Going to be vulnerable here because I have no one else to talk about this with. I don’t know what is happening but for some reason, like clockwork, my libido skyrockets from day 22-24 until I start spotting and then eventually my period starts. And as a single woman, this leads to increased masturbation. Some cycles I still feel it for maybe day 1/2 of my period. It is baffling because for one minute, I’ll feel the urge to take care of myself and then the next, it is back to luteal hell feelings.

Idk if its my body craving the dopamine or what, but whatever good feeling chemicals I get are very short lasting. And it doesn’t help that my OCD is themed around sexual topics/contamination, so I end up in these weird guilt/shame spirals during luteal as well which in turn makes my PMDD worse.

Was just wondering if anyone else feels this? I’ve seen a lot of discussion of PMDD having the opposite effect on libido than what I feel.

I started getting a lot of play therapists across my algorithms, specifically on instagram. I think it could be because I am in the process of figuring out my own mental health diagnoses (as I have anxiety and suspected OCD). I have learned so much from the play therapists and it really has helped me in understanding some of the things the kids on my caseload do and the why behind it from a psychological/trauma informed perspective.

I feel like I wish we had more play therapy-esque principles taught to us instead of behaviorism/ABA. Especially with the push towards more neurodiversity affirming care. As an SLP who struggles a lot with dealing with behaviors and is constantly questioning what is “right” and then feeling pressure to use ABA principles because it has leaked into pretty much every related service/classroom. I graduated from grad in 2022, and I know I can’t be the only one who felt like ABA was pushed hard during externships and a lot of what was modeled to us by supervisors is lowkey ABA-based.

I know there are some good ABA therapists/BCBAs who care deeply for the kids they work with, but the fact that insurance is more likely to approve a copious amount of hours for an RBT who has very minimal training rather than a literal mental health professional is so wild to me. Especially because a lot of our students have comorbid anxiety/ADHD/mental health diagnoses/high likelihood of trauma and adverse childhood events.

I just think those of us who want to try to be more play based would benefit immensely from the perspective and guidance of play therapists.

and there’s *checks notes* 6 days of school left. And a federal holiday this week, so only three days to input her into the schedule. And she has twice a week mandate. And she had her eval in March and was approved and everything but there was some sort of system glitch, so she went all those months with no services and parent was, unsurprisingly, pissed.

And parent is already giving me the summer camp schedule when child has 10 month services. Plus I don’t work summer anyways. Oh boy!! 😬

Does anyone else have mood swings that are relatively short lived during luteal? It starts immediately after I ovulate. I’ll be feeling like I need to self isolate and overthinking everything for a few hours, then I’ll be very depressed, and then I’ll have a sudden burst of energy to do a hobby, then I start overthinking again and intrusive thoughts come in, and the cycle continues.

It just makes logging my symptoms hard because depending on the time of the day, I could be feeling anxious/depressed/relaxed. I started just logging it as mood swings 🤷🏻‍♀️

Us NYC SLPs go until June 26 and I am insanely jealous of you if you’re on summer break. I work with preschoolers. Most of my kids have turned 5 by now and will be going into kindergarten. I am so unbelievably burnt out. And I feel like the kids are too. I’m getting a lot of “no”s for activities they previously loved. I did an ocean theme for the past two weeks which helped somewhat.

I do try to push in for the fun activities like picnics and grad practices, but teachers at my center are very much pro “pull the kid out so I get my break” mindset.

I’m open to any ideas/themes/games that can help me get to the finish line!

ETA: my caseload is mostly kids with language delays. I have 3 artic/phono kids who I mostly use surprise games with so they are good to go for the rest of the year.

I’m having a particularly hard day mentally today. I am more on edge, having mood swings, stressed at work, increased intrusive thoughts and increased need to do compulsions to try to feel better, depressed feeling and jealous of others.

I know to expect this during luteal but it throws me off that my fertile window is starting to make me feel insane too. My app says 14 days until my next period.

I just wish I was a different person. I go to work or go out in public and see other people out and enjoying life and I feel such pangs of jealousy because I am just stuck in my head.

I have suspected I have some degree of premenstrual exacerbation/PMDD because I do have pretty intense emotional and physical symptoms right before my period. However, for the past two cycles, I have been having horrible anxiety, increased intrusive thoughts, mood swings, and irritability starting from the day I stop bleeding to around day 10 (so basically days 5-9). I believe this is the follicular phase.

I went back to my garmin app and noticed that I do have logged symptoms of anxiety and irritability scattered during certain cycles also on days 10-13.

Does anyone else experience weird feelings during this time? Does it have something to do with hormones and does anyone do anything that hells? I also get a resurgence of physical symptoms like nausea and sometimes bad headaches and cramping.