u/lizdontlikeyou

I've (25F) been talking to a guy (24M) since 3 months now. He's in Germany, I'm from India. He was very consistent at the start and genuinely sounds like a very sorted, mature person. But he also accepted that he's a workaholic, career obsessed researcher who is very selfish with his time and is terrible at communication and confrontation but he will try to do better.

He had to go to 2 different summer schools (Milan and NYC) in June and it was intense and hectic af. I was very understanding when communication was almost 0 with just a basic good morning in response to me. He did give me updates occasionally and called me for a bit over the weekends. Before summer school, he got so busy trying to wrap up work and stuff but he did put in effort even though it significantly dropped since April when we first started talking.

When I confronted him a week back that I really just wanted basic communication, he sort of spiraled and vented about how overwhelmed he is at work and is barely scraping through and hasn't even spoken to his parents. But he will try to be better. About how I was so nice to him and he finds it so weird because he's only ever been in toxic situationships before. Then he brought up something I did a month back where he was overwhelmed when I was texting him while he was doing something but I told him he could've just told me that then.

This week I've given him all the space. Not texted much. Nothing. If I ask if he is fine to talk, he speaks like he's flustered and doesn't really reciprocate at all and feels almost forced. It's exhausting for me as well because I feel I'm being so patient and understanding but I'm carrying this all by myself. We've not spoken since almost 2 days now.

I've been wondering if I should reach out first again checking in on him or just wait until he shows up, if not let it just die down. I genuinely think he is a nice person with terrible internal issues. I don't know if I should give him more time? Compromise more?

On one side, it's accepting someone and supporting them through their issues. But then my anxiety gets to me as well.

I've (25F) been talking to a guy (24M) since 3 months now. He's in Germany, I'm from India. He was very consistent at the start and genuinely sounds like a very sorted, mature person. But he also accepted that he's a workaholic, career obsessed researcher who is very selfish with his time and is terrible at communication and confrontation but he will try to do better.

He had to go to 2 different summer schools (Milan and NYC) in June and it was intense and hectic af. I was very understanding when communication was almost 0 with just a basic good morning in response to me. He did give me updates occasionally and called me for a bit over the weekends. Before summer school, he got so busy trying to wrap up work and stuff but he did put in effort even though it significantly dropped since April when we first started talking.

When I confronted him a week back that I really just wanted basic communication, he sort of spiraled and vented about how overwhelmed he is at work and is barely scraping through and hasn't even spoken to his parents. But he will try to be better. About how I was so nice to him and he finds it so weird because he's only ever been in toxic situationships before. Then he brought up something I did a month back where he was overwhelmed when I was texting him while he was doing something but I told him he could've just told me that then.

This week I've given him all the space. Not texted much. Nothing. If I ask if he is fine to talk, he speaks like he's flustered and doesn't really reciprocate at all and feels almost forced. It's exhausting for me as well because I feel I'm being so patient and understanding but I'm carrying this all by myself. We've not spoken since almost 2 days now.

I've been wondering if I should reach out first again checking in on him or just wait until he shows up, if not let it just die down. I genuinely think he is a nice person with terrible internal issues. I don't know if I should give him more time? Compromise more?

On one side, it's accepting someone and supporting them through their issues. But then my anxiety gets to me as well.

I really want to stay on campus because I am an international student and just feel safe to be on campus. I am willing to commute. Is this an option? Can an IGS student stay on Lakeshore campus?

Would also help if I got some info on how the commute would look like?

We've been speaking since 3 months and it was all great. He said he wanted to be the man for me and would always have my back. He's a workaholic and career obsessed so during any busy phase he just goes completely off the grid. I'm anxious but I've been working on myself and have been extremely patient and understanding but sometimes I do get needy and want him around.

During his one month long summer school we barely spoke. He did make efforts to text me at least a good morning with an update or 2 but he'd also go missing for days. 2 days back he was travelling back home from summer school and hadn't texted me for 3 days before that so I called to check in on him and asked him for at least an update.

He got so flustered at the airport and told me he's overwhelmed, sleep deprived, has a lot of work, is barely making it through anything and has low emotional capacity right now, is bad at communication but he'll do better. He knows it's unfair to me and that I'm too supportive, nice and kind and brought up an incident from a month ago about how I was texting him while he was commuting and he was overwhelmed (he didn't even tell me that otherwise I would've given him space). I didn't intend to have this confrontation while he was travelling but he just started it off and told me he finds it weird that I'm accepting of his flaws and am still nice because he's only been in toxic situationships before and told me to stop being so supportive.

We had a normal conversation after but it was all so intense for me because I have anxiety. We said miss you at the end of the call. I decided to give him space and not text. I got no updates if he was back or not. I just texted him this morning being normal saying good morning hope you're rested and feel better.

My body and mind has gone into a state of deep anxiety thinking he's lost interest in me and won't want to talk to me now because I'm being too much asking for an update or wanting a little more communication. How do I cope with this?

I'm a female student coming to Humber and might have my boyfriend come to see me. Just wondering if it's allowed for him to stay as my guest or it's only women allowed as guests? So he can look for other accommodation if not.

I'm an anxious (getting pretty close to secure) attachment girlie speaking to someone I met on Hinge 3 months ago LDR. First month April was fine but he's extremely career obsessed and a workaholic so when he started prepping for his month long summer school from May the texts and everything started getting slower and since June (summer school), we've barely talked but he does send in a few texts a day and has been aware about his inconsistency and has apologized.

I trust him a lot because I do see the effort. But I'm always scared of losing him because after a history of toxic partners, one of them called me "too much" for being expressive, I'm scared if I appreciate this guy, tell him I miss him and give him small updates about my day, he'll feel the same.

I don't blow up his phone, don't ask for reassurance, don't question him, nothing. I just send good mornings baby, and 2-3 updates of my day and sometimes a I miss you. sometimes when drunk, I appreciate him more because of how safe he makes me feel. but no more than 3-4 texts a day.

I hope I'm not pressurising him. I've genuinely been working on myself and sitting in the discomfort when I overthink.

Just wondering if this is still considered too much?

I do have an anxious attachment style and have always attracted unavailable partners in the past who were very inconsistent which made me reach out more. And one ex who was soft cheating on me and never showed up for me told me I'm too much and that I was consuming him and left me.

But it's also true that I'm a very expressive person who wears her heart on her sleeve and loves to tell people how much they mean to her. I'm talking to a really nice guy now LDR (3 months in) and he's never made me feel too much. I do express a lot but he doesn't as much because he's always busy and has a very demanding job so the texts and everything are slow but when he shows up, he SHOWS UP and I do feel safe and trust him. I've also worked a lot on my attachment style so I don't spam him.

He's at summer school for the month and we barely text, sometimes for days and sure it does trigger me but I just share an update or two with him in the day about my life. I continue telling him I miss him. I do appreciate him and tell him he's the best thing that's happened to me in a while. And when he has the bandwidth he does respond but sometimes it's quick "hahaha so cute!" from him. I continue to give him his space after.

It makes me wonder if I'm being too much? Am I being too consuming by being expressive? I'm not at all spamming him or anything and don't question him, don't ask for reassurance, just wanting to share parts of me with him, trying to keep some communication going on while he's away.

tl;dr

I have an anxious attachment style and a history of inconsistent, emotionally unavailable partners. One ex who was soft-cheating told me I was "too much" and "consuming," which has become a big trigger. I'm now 3 months into an LDR with a genuinely kind guy who's very busy and currently at summer school, so communication is sparse or barely there due to his hectic schedule. I've worked a lot on my attachment style — I don't spam, ask for reassurance, or question his absences. I just share small updates, tell him I miss him, and express appreciation (like drunk text him sometimes too) while still giving him space. It makes me wonder: Am I being too much for simply being an expressive person trying to maintain connection in a healthy way?

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We've been talking since 3 months almost. He's an Indian working in Germany and I'm an Indian in India for now. First month he came off strong. Did all the talking and flirting and initiation.

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Second month he started prepping for a month of continuous summer school. 2 weeks Europe 2 weeks US.M which got him overwhelmed and busy af because he's a researcher in the field of AI and is career obsessed and has confessed to being a hardcore workaholic.

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He has been a great human and even though the texts became dry or low effort, he did show consistency and apologized and also mentions he's busy and overwhelmed but he's trying. But I'm anxiously attached and since the last one month of his summer school he barely comes in and out of texting. Still texts once everyday in the morning with a short text responding to me but not to every text I send and leaves some ignored which are more conversational. He'll tell me he's enjoying his summer school and it makes me sad he's not making space for me.

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I feel like he's losing interest, cheating, found someone else, planning to leave, etc. If his tone changes or he doesn't call me "baby" one day, I lose my mind. I'm unable to focus on my own work. His summer school ends next weekend and I don't know if I should even talk to him about this or if I'm the problem.

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On Saturday before leaving to the US he did call me and we spoke. Things seemed normal and he even spoke to my bestfriend and said he's really happy to know that she likes him for me. But then I'm spiralling now again.

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I've had a dating history of people who just always left by blindsiding me and were really really mean and vile to me.

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How do I navigate through this? I'm trying to sit in the discomfort but I feel so shitty right now.

He is a data analyst. Workaholic. Gets obsessed with work. He's been prepping for a month for this intense summer school he was going to go for so his texts got slower and stuff but was still there for me and texted when he could and showed up.

Even spoke to me on call when leaving for summer school and texted me constantly on the way. But hasn't been texting much / at all since he's there. He drops in a text or two a day like saying he's super overwhelmed and busy and tired and does show affection in those texts. And now it's been 24 hours since we spoke.

He's genuinely not even come on instagram and seen my stories or anything and he never like ignores. He told me that he's bad at keeping up because he gets so fixated on work and gets tired. But that he's trying hard for me and that he's sorry he can be a pain sometimes.

But I'm anxiously attached and I get so worried.

How do I deal with this?

So it's not a relationship as yet. We met on Hinge and have been talking for about a month and a half. Really into each other, switched to Whatsapp and have been talking about long term plans together and he's said things like he does want to be my man and we basically talk like a couple with no label right now since it's too early ofc. He's told me he's going to come see me in November when he's down and that he wants to take me out.

It's LDR. He's in Germany (Indian) and I'm in India. He's a data analyst so he's ALWAYS working and has admitted to being a workaholic. But he does make time to text me and be there for me whenever i need him. He does apologize for not having enough time to reciprocate the way he used to and that he feels guilty and is trying to be better.

I do feel safe with him and trust him because he's not given me any reason to feel he's lying because he's genuinely going through a hectic time with summer school and everything else. And while i don't let my anxious attachment eat me alive, it does trigger me more often than not.

I do get crazy worried when I don't get a text back soon or when he tries to make new friends and doesn't spend time with me. Like at his summer school last night, he told me he wants to make friends at dinner because he's extroverted and I got triggered because he would not be with me. I get triggered when I don't get validation from him on a daily basis. I read too much between the lines. Like the flirty romantic reels haven't been coming in since he's been working on his research paper. He doesn't say nice things often. But like he does show care in other ways. But I just overanalyze everything. He did say he doesn't like LDR ideally but I make it worth it and that he does want to be with me but then I keep expecting that to be said to me more often. I've understood now that he's not a very emotionally expressive person in general too.

I know it's toxic on my part and trust me I've been trying to regulate myself and not be too hard on myself or him. But it just happens. I try to fill my day with other things and not think about him too much because he's doing what he needs to do in his life while I keep feeling that if we don't keep doing things or talking, the connection will collapse. I keep feeling like i have to please him and I know he doesn't want that he just wants me to exist and that I'm enough.

He did spend an hour with me on call on his way to summer school to make up for the days he wasn't available and he has said he feels very guilty for being so held up. But then if he goes quiet the next day, I get triggered. I start feeling like he doesn't care for me anymore or that I'm not a priority.

Please help me. I don't wanna ruin this relationship. It feels good and nice and safe and again, I'm trying to be mindful about my own actions and behaviours but my traumas and anxious attachment really gets to me. How do I deal with this?

I planned my whole funding as per the website costs inclusive of all insurance and everything besides the tuition fees.

I've now received an offer and the fees are way higher. like 5K CAD more. But on the offer there's still a link to see the costs of the particular course so I'm not sure if they just add a general approximation or if that's how much I'm actually supposed to expect.

This is really stressing me out because I don't have so much planned out. Does anyone know or has been through this before?

I (25F) am an Indian who met another Indian (24M) on Hinge who works in Germany. He is very sweet and nice. We spoke a lot about everything including our anxieties and beliefs and we were on the same page. It's been about 5-6 weeks since we've been talking. Switched to Instagram then WhatsApp and even call and sext now.

He's shared with me his dating history and what went wrong and the drama and everything. So did I.

He's a data analyst and a workaholic so he's always busy. But he does make time to text me throughout the day even if it's hectic and even if his replies feel slow or sparse. He even communicates that he's busy since he has an intense summer school for a month starting June and needs to finish work + prep for that. He was really stressed out and stuff. Still, the texts come in.

But...

Not the way they used to before. No romentic cute flirty things. The reels have slowed down where he used to send me cute reels. I know he's busy and I'm really really trying to fight my anxious attachment style by giving him his space and trusting he's nice because he has mentioned he wants to take me out and see me and do things together and "be my man" and that he's aware how a girl wants to be treated.

I've even communicated with him how I overthink so I need communication that we good and he said he's the same and will try to do his best. He's just overwhelmed and overstimmed and said he's not fond of LDR but I would be worth it because he likes me and is willing to work through it.

We don't have labels attached for now but we both know it's heading there. We do call each other babe and baby. It's just when he's away or doesn't respond soon enough or his responses feel flat, I get so triggered that he's losing interest in me or the spark is going and i need to do something to fix it. And i try to keep myself busy and do my own stuff. He tells me everything about his day and shares pictures but I've had a traumatic dating history too and I just always feel any sort of inconsistency means this person is upto no good. I get paranoid even if there's like a single tick on the chat. I wonder if he blocked me or something.

My attachment style is so messed up. I don't wanna ruin this. How do I navigate through this?

I have a lot of anxiety with my application for the Graphic Design course at Humber. my_qualifications: Diploma in Graphic Design.

Applied on 21st April via an agent. 2 days later portal says "missing document" for portfolio. Uploaded it, took another day or for the status to change to "under review". Then it was "under review: no outstanding documents required" for 11 days. Now today the 6th of May, it's changed to "missing document" for the language proficiency document which had been ticked off all these days. There's no clickable link to upload anything so I'm assuming it's gone back to processing.

But it's so nerve wracking! I'm so scared because I had applied to colleges at even Humber last year for a different course and it was all smooth. I had offers within a week. I didn't go due to financial stuff but this year there's so much stress. Centennial gave me an offer in a day this year but Humber is my first preference.

Is this normal there?

I am an international student who applied for the graphic design certificate course on the 21st of April via an agent but there was some missing portfolio document on the portal even though it was submitted. Anyway, that got reviewed and cleared on 24th April and my application has been "Under Review: No outstanding requirements" since then. It's the 4th of May today and I'm really nervous.

It'll be 2 weeks now. I got into Centennial on the same day but the fees are too high there for me right now. Humber is my first preference.

I'm so scared. What's the usual timelines for offer letters? Has anyone faced this before?

AITA for ignoring this colleague of mine who randomly switched up on me when she got promoted to senior designer?

So this girl and I were really close at the design studio we work at and we did everything together from chilling out after work, sharing workload and even getting lunch together and stuff. But she always openly stated I was her competition. Always was sly and cunning and an attention seeker. Whenever bosslady didn't validate her, she'd throw a fit and ask me to leave along with her.

Recently she had a lot of issues at work because she was being questioned by a design lead. She was even going to quit. Until bosslady promoted her and suddenly, she's all hyped about the company. She even switched up on me, bossing me around, telling me to not leave because if I do she'll not advance in her career because she'll have to take on my work (we're a team of 4). And she started giving me all the dirty work because I am lower to her now and it's not her position to do all this.

So for my own peace of mind, I've completely started ignoring her. I am quite depressed at work since a year but I need this job and it's remote so gives me time to freelance and earn extra too. But I've been feeling guilty for going cold on this girl even though she's been an absolute hypocrite.

In the past she's even lied about another ex colleague calling her up and saying that her company was looking to hire her. When in fact, nothing of this sort happened..

I'm an international student from India and I submitted an application via my study agent for the Graphic Design Print and Digital Media programme.

He said he submitted everything with portfolio and all but 2 days later when I check the portal, it shows missing additional requirements for portfolio but is ticked for language test. Immediately I uploaded the portfolio but a day later, today, still shows missing additional requirements which is locked now. Can't upload anything else.

What is happening I'm really nervous. I know it's just been 3 days 😭 but like other people get their offers so soon in a day or so and I'm getting panicked.

Has this happened to anyone else?