u/lucid1014

I[41M] don’t know if this is a thing (and would need consent from the date probably) but I’ve been really struggling to find a relationship. I have no problem getting dates, in fact that’s the issue, I’ve been on like 55+ first dates in the past six months and none of them have made it to a relationship. I think less than 5 or 6 even made it to a second date.

I feel very strongly there’s something I’m doing wrong or something wrong with me… I’m handsome, smart, funny, sweet, but can’t get traction. I frequently get some version of “you’re really sweet/thoughtful/kind but I don’t feel a spark…” and it’s starting to weigh on me. I’ve asked a few women for feedback and it’s usually vague and not helpful but I was wondering if it’s like a thing where someone could watch me on a date and see if there’s things I’m doing that are ruining my chances… what’s so confusing is how few “bad” dates I’ve had. So many feel like they go well. Great conversation, flirty touching, usually kissing, and then next day get an ending text.

Is this a thing?

Now I get to wait 3 days for a match to expire instead of them responding instead of 24 hours.

I need a ticket for Petey USA at the Zebulon on Tuesday the 11th

Just curious… I[M] met a woman off Feeld and we grabbed a drink. It went well, made out in her car for a bit but she didn’t want to have sex that night but said she wanted to another night. We met up a few days later and had sex after a few days of flirty texting about it… I was kinda nervous about it because the build up felt like it was adding some pressure to it. Anyway she came over and we had sex. I started with oral but she was self conscious from being sweaty all day so I fingered her for like 30 seconds and she said she was ready to have sex. She came like really quickly like 2-3 minutes. Don’t get me wrong i thought it was great. I’ve been having trouble cumming and it takes me awhile so I kept going for awhile before I finally was able too. I’m trying to remember how she acted after but said something like that was efficient. She also said she had been holding off on self pleasure i think.

We hung out for awhile after that chilling in my hot tub but she kind of felt weirdly stand offish? We did make out some and I asked if she wanted to go again but she needed to get home and also admitted she’s not in a great headspace to due to some personal stuff and seemed to be trying to reassure me it’s not about me which I believe…

Anyway I guess I’m just wondering if you can cum especially that fast and still consider it bad sex? I’ll admit it was pretty straightforward, just missionary, and not the most passionate but she seemed into it and I don’t think she was lying about cumming.

Surfing about 2 months now. Never had my strap come loose until the past few days. Now every session my board comes loose. It’s a Costco foamie… does this mean something is wrong with the strap? The waves have been a bit bigger lately so maybe board coming loose is more common than I think, but it never happened until recently. This last time was scary as the waves were hammering me and the backwash wouldn’t let me get back to shore for a bit… felt naked without the board.

I super swiped you and it was a match to my surprise. You’re seriously one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. You love fantasy and dystopian stories which I love. You’re tall. Into short term or long term but want to find a life partner and want kids. Name is Rebecca. I’d love to take you for some ice cream and a neighborhood walk.

The match expired, and I even rematched but it expired again… maybe you changed your mind or weren’t interested, but could also be you just didn’t check or were too busy. If you’re out there, or you know who this is, have her DM me!

let me know if you find it. It has a sea green band so should be easy to find.

41 M, never been in a long term relationship before... Spent last 2 years losing 100 lbs and hitting the gym and now I can get matches and dates fairly easily... Except, it doesn't matter, because it doesn't lead to anything...

I'm feeling so weary by this whole grind and all I want is to find someone to love and love me... The closest I got was six weeks into someone who I fell really hard for, but she decided it wasn't the right connection for her...

I had another six week thing, but it was basically just a physical situationship. And one woman I met in real life, we dated for 4 weeks and we had sex several times, but even she said she didn't feel a connection...

I feel like I'm broken or there's something wrong with me, like that whale that sings at a different frequency and no one can hear it...

Honestly, it feels like maybe I should become avoidant. It feels like that's what all women these days are use to, and then when they meet someone like me who is earnest and vulnerable, they aren't used to it and it scares them away...

I've had so many first dates that lasted hours, sometimes even second locations, lots of touching and sometimes even intimacy and then they ghost me or tell me they don't feel a romantic connection... If it was just one hear or there, I'd get it, that's part of dating... but 30 first dates, and for none of them to lead to even just like a 3 month exclusive relationship, there has to be something very wrong.

So I know you push up with your hands to raise upper body to create space, but do you like push off the surfboard to give yourself even more space? Like the difference between a normal push up and a jumping push with a clap. Are you smoothly pushing up and then bringing legs up? If you don’t have the mobility, can you push harder to raise your body higher and get legs under?

Very new surfer. Rode my first green wave on Saturday, felt amazing. Went out today, feeling like hot shit, and got rolled hard twice by not very big waves at all, but one spun me around like 3 times, and I didn't get a big breath, couldn't find the surface... Really scared me, had to sit out for a few minutes. Then it happened again. Feels like every time I go out, I have one wipeout that almost kills me lol. I'm not a terrible swimmer, and I can hold my breath for like a minute and a half static in the pool. I'm guessing it's just the newness and panic of being submerged and rolled. Also, sometimes I come up, think I'm safe, let my air out to take another breath, then get by a second wave, and that's really scary. Again, these aren't even big waves, I can't image getting hit with like a 9 foot wave, feels like that would actually kill me.

A girl who falls in love too quickly

Told me I fell too quickly.

I wish she knew that I just felt lucky

That she had even picked me

As no one had before

See, all I know is, before her, I was unhappy,

So when I was with her, all I could see

Was a future I’d never thought could be

Because the decades I’d spent lonely

And my grief had closed the door

She knocked, and I opened, 

And then my mind built a future

Though I barely knew her, 

Turning possibility

Into certainty

Two boys, sandy-haired,

Playing in the sand

Us walking on the beach,

Hand in wrinkled hand

A dream that felt like memory

But now it can never be

Because I let my hope run wild

And get the best of me

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1tq7fdq/i_want_to_hug_you_like/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1trg60k/still_learning/

I bought the Costco foam board, but it says it's rated up to 200 lbs, will that 16 lbs make a huge difference? I took a lesson, going to take a couple more, but I wanted to get my own starter board so I can get out there once or twice a week to get some reps in, but I don't want to spend a whole lot on a board now, and any bigger board goes from $115 for the Costco board up to several hundred dollars which I don't want to invest in yet.

Been getting into fitness the past few years but want to take a small break from a typical gym and explore some other forms do fitness like Yoga, Pilates, Cycling etc. I got ClassPass trial and want to check some places out.

I guess I feel nervous about starting and wondering what protocol is. I’d like to be respectful in what I’d assume is primarily a women dominated space? Though I may be way off. Just from things I’ve seen on social media and walking past studios.

If anyone’s got any recs for places that are beginner friendly on the west side, I’d love to hear them?

I’ve started seeing this woman who told me she is positive for HSV2. We aren’t exclusive yet just dating and have had sex a couple times with a condom. She’s proactive about making sure she’s safe, not breaking out etc. I plan on getting tested regularly but all my research shows it’s possible to have a safe sex life with someone with herpes. If I meet someone new especially in a casual context, do I need to tell them I had sex recently with someone with herpes? What’s the protocol here?

Been dating this woman a couple weeks and like her a lot. Things got physical and she told me that she was hsv2 positive. She said that she had never had a breakout since the initial one and that she’s had past partners go down on her unprotected and be fine. She was very understanding of my feelings and put no pressure. She even gave me time to google it since it’s been decades since Sex Ed, and this is the first time Ive encountered it.

After reading I decided to go through with sex even though I read there is still some risk. I used a condom for the actual sex but i did go down on her without protection, she went down on me without a condom, and also I used my hands and worry there might be some cross contamination from genitals to hands to mouth.

I’ve read some encouraging stories here about long term partners who never contracted it, but still feeling weird about it. I guess scared that I’ll contract it and makes me wonder if Im willing to deal with this fear the rest of my life. As I said I like her but it’s early on in the relationship. Im also not very sexually experienced despite my age and the thought of navigating contracting herpes st this stage of my life fills me with dread.

Organized a trip with friends who were a bit flaky and didn’t think to buy ahead. Was about to leave and saw they were sold out, does anyone know if I can still get in at the door?