u/mochimiso96

I’m not quite sure if this is the right sub to post in because I’m not sure if these symptoms are part of my ocpd or due to something else.
I was diagnosed with a combined personality disorder that includes avpd, ocpd and bpd. Plus fun things like despression, anxiety, c-ptsd and adhd, which all play into why my life looks like the way it does.
My biggest issue is what I call reverse perfectionism. I am so incredibly anxious about doing things wrong, so I don’t do them at all. I would rather fail at something by not putting any work into it, than give 100% and then fail. Failing at something due to me not being good enough at something, will set me off into a deep dark hole. So I avoid. I feel like I can’t do anything in life. I’m very close to dropping out of university, I’m not making any progress where I should be, I’m not taking care of my horrible health because I’m scared I’m not going to get better.
I wake up in the morning and if my day doesn’t start perfectly, it’s wasted and I’m on the couch waiting for the day to end already, so I can start over. I’ve been completely neglecting and isolating myself. I’ve been in this horrible spiral for weeks now and I just don’t know how to get out. Everytime I try to push myself through my tasks, I start getting massive panic attacks. Has anyone experienced anything like this and if yes what has helped?
I’ve been in therapy for years and I found nothing that works so far.

Mir ist durch einige Social Media-Posts wieder bewusst geworden, wie die Allgemeinheit über Menschen mit Selbstverletzungsnarben urteilt. Es wird direkt darauf aufmerksam gemacht und kommentiert, obwohl es in dem Post absolut gar nichts darum geht. Es kommen Beleidigungen, der Vorwurf, man macht es aus Aufmerksamkeit, aber auch ein paar liebgemeinte besorgte Kommentare.
Was den meisten nicht bewusst ist, dass diese Narben oft super alt sind. Als Teenager habe ich mich sehr regelmäßig und tief geschnitten. Ich habe also sehr offensichtliche Narben. Der eine Arm ist übertattoowiert und der andere nicht. Ich vergesse ehrlich gesagt immer wieder, dass die Narben existieren. Die sind vor 15 Jahren entstanden und sind für mich Vergangenheit. Ich weiß, dass es den meisten Erwachsenen mit Narben aus der Teenagerzeit so geht. Daher verstehe ich es einfach null, wenn andere so tun, als würde man aktuell jeden Abend die Klingen rausholen.
Man kriegt den Vorwurf, dass man mental instabil und toxisch ist oder Borderline hat, obwohl man einfach mal eine richtig schlimme Zeit in der Vergangenheit hatte und keinen gesunden Weg gefunden hat, mit negativen Gefühlen umzugehen.

I have two fostercats who refuse to eat their food.
The organization I work with gave me a couple bags of donated food, that was “expired” but high quality. Obviously still good. The cats got so used to the food, that they are now refusing to eat what I usually feed them. I can’t afford to get them that brand again. I’ve already been wasting money, by getting them different types of food. How can I get them to eat what I already have? I know they must be hungry.

In my life time I’ve stumbled accross people like coldness in my heart (a tumblr account by a very mentally unwell girl) or tonisweg on instagram.
I always wonder how one is able to withstand pain like this. I have selfharmed in the past, but it didn’t even come close to that.
Are there any other people you guys have stumbled upon?

I, 30F, grew up with parents who were the epitome of crazy musicians. Everyone would always think it’s so cool and exciting, but I always wished for a normal family. There was also a lot of pressure on us kids to be musicially successful ourselves. My sister followed in their footsteps and became a jazz singer. The music my parents play and perform is so incredibly weird and absurd. It still makes me cringe.

I just feel horribly about this…
I have a relatively new sub, who had a great vibe with initially. He liked being financially dominated and generally getting humiliated. I usually have my slaves clean and do tasks for me, but in this case I actually liked him enough to also be sexually involved with him.
My first session is always a conversation about boundaries and preferences. Consent is very important to me. I don’t enjoy what I do, if the other person doesn’t like it.

The first little conflict we had was about financial domination. Even though he described himself as a sugar daddy, I wasn’t aware of his financial boundaries. I knew he was quite wealthy. I’m quite humble so I was a bit shocked when he didn’t communicate with me about feeling uncomfortable (because of a 200€ amazon order) and suggested breaking things off, if my expectations were so high. I was shocked and also pissed because he didn’t talk to me and instead suggested a cut.
We were able to come to an agreement after talking things out.

Today I had him clean the apartment. Which is also a task he is very willing to do. I told him to clean the litterbox and after 5 min he just stormed out of the apartment and told me this is too much. He then broke things off over text. I know I didn’t do anything wrong, but I still feel incredibly guilty for pissing him off like this. That wasn’t my intention.
There are men who want eat the poop out of the litterbox and then there are others that draw the line at just cleaning it. I can’t read people’s minds, so it’s really hard to figure out peoples boundaries when they don’t communicate.

I just reel like a horrible dom. This was the first sub I actually felt like we were on the same page and had similar expectations. I’m not an amateur, but I’m not an expert either, so I feel very insecure about this.

I’ve been single for a couple years, but have been dating people on and off, that I usually meet over hinge or bumble. The last time I dated someone was a year ago, but we weren’t compatible, mostly due to having different sexual desires. I have realized that BDSM plays a big role in my life and I can’t have a romantic relationship with someone without incorporating it. I just don’t really know how to meet someone who I can actually vibe with. I have gotten picky with who I want to date and find it hard finding someone who has the same mindset as me. I am also not really comfortable having casual sex, with no commitment. So how do you meet a very kinky person who is generally on the same wavelength.

How often do you guys have to call an uber or cab?
I’ve been catching myself having to call an uber way more often than I can afford.
I’m a college student and hardly leave the house except for maybe 3 days a week when I need to get groceries or go to class. To uni I need around 40 min with public transportation plus walking, which is absolute hell on some days, so I have to take an uber once in a while. I end up spending around 20€ everytime which is a lot of money for me.
I also feel incredibly embarrassed and guilty.
In germany ubers are used way less than in the US. People my age (and social circle) frown upon it. They will rather walk an hour than pay money for one.
How do you guys afford trips like these and how often do you need help getting home?

This is a purely hypothetical question that absolutely isn’t happening in my life at all.

What would you do if a stranger contacted you over a bdsm site and told you he is a monster that rapes women and wants to be locked up for life in his basement and give you the keys? Would you report him to the police? Would take things into your own hands? I am curious

I just reached season 9 and the entire show has gone to shit.

The acting and writing style has completely changed. Rick and Carl dying just ended the show for me. I am so incredibly disappointed.

I gave the series a 2. chance after seeing it last about 10 years ago.

I’ve been binge watching and just reached the Glenn epsiode.

At this point I remembered why I stopped watching. I feel like crap after watching an episode. I absolutely love the show and am generally a huge Horror/Zombie fan, but this has just gotten really depressing. Does it get any better? Or are they just fleeing from one place to another and getting killed every episode? (I know that is the whole point of the show, but the first seasons weren’t as gut wrenching)

Wie habt ihr es geschafft eure Schulden abzubezahlen?

Insbesondere wenn ihr am Ende im Monat nichts übrig habt?

Ich habe im Moment um die 3000€ Schulden und es fällt mir sehr schwer das Geld zusammenzukriegen.

Die haben sich angesammelt durch Kosten wie, eine neue Waschmaschine, Zahnarztbehandlungen, Nebenkostenrechnung usw.

Also Sachen die unvermeidbar waren.

Ich versuche schon im Monat sehr auf meine Ausgaben zu achten

Es gibt natürlich hier und da Möglichkeiten zu sparen aber es sind dann wirklich Eurobeträge.

Ich habe meinen ganzen Mut zusammengenommen um meine Eltern zu fragen

Blut- und Plasmaspenden kommen leider nicht in Frage weil meine Eisenwerte zu schlecht sind.

Was für kreative Möglichkeiten habt ihr genutzt im Geld zusammenzubekommen.

Es geht weniger darum, was ihr an Ausgaben reduzieren konntet, sondern was für Möglichkeiten ihr genutzt habt um weiter an Geld zu kommen.

In diesem Sub gibt es ja schon viele Tipps zu wie man Kosten einspart. Ich weiß dadurch schon wie man hier und da bei Lebensmitteln usw sparen kann.