what i expected & gained
weight loss
hair/skin improved
zero cavities
better nutrition
improved sleep
Bonus Surprise (s)
sustainable weight loss- slow but easy to maintain
able to study for career upgrade
MOre relaxed about facial genetics & unique features
palate change- i don't have to force quality food
mood swings finally resolved- no more trigger temper
nothing like a high school reunion to assess progress!
I've worked so hard on physical wellness, lost weight, grappled w diabetes. All good stuff for sure.
However, i was still that insecure/easy to manipulate peer pressure led kid for a day.
I didn't eat well, was shaking, went to a cocktail party when i don't drink and feel on edge etc. FOMO took me there, when an earlier group museum tour was more my speed, and I should have headed home. I didn't wreck myself w booze out of insecurity, but was not socialising well, i was just a mess, maybe came off a dotard. GAH
lesson. Inner fitness is just as important as health stats
How can i measure emotional wellness? Is there an ap to measure progress🤣
I mean this humorously, but i really want to take a nice exhale and get working! Where to start?
Trying to deal with this, but wanted to wear the same style of jeans i wore decades ago.
Before the eventing party w group photo, i did a lot of activities.
My HS friend took me to yoga, a hike, river dipping, cave tour etc. We didn't eat lunch and i was shaking.
I usually eat a good lunch and I abstain from sugar, that's my success plan
But i was shaking & bloated because my friend gave me a green juice which just did not agree w my system. I was bloated :(
By the time of the party i was bloated, uncomfortable, and couldn't find the right shirt i'd brought for group photo op.
Someone took a group photo of me from behind, and it's kind of a disaster. It's posted on the event web page. Just one of me, but jeans look tight, hair a ratted mess and i have visible muffin top because i had to wear some rag top i found in the car at last minute.
So much for the "look at me I'm a success" weight loss photo :(. I'm trying to laugh it off.
Has anyone else had a "miss" w the "after" photo?
Trying to deal with this, but wanted to wear the same style of jeans i wore decades ago.
Before the eventing party w group photo, i did a lot of activities.
My HS friend took me to yoga, a hike, river dipping, cave tour etc. We didn't eat lunch and i was shaking.
I usually eat a good lunch and I abstain from sugar, that's my success plan
But i was shaking & bloated because my friend gave me a green juice which just did not agree w my system. I was bloated :(
By the time of the party i was bloated, uncomfortable, and couldn't find the right shirt i'd brought for group photo op.
Someone took a group photo of me from behind, and it's kind of a disaster. It's posted on the event web page. Just one of me, but jeans look tight, hair a ratted mess and i have visible muffin top because i had to wear some rag top i found in the car at last minute.
So much for the "look at me I'm a success" weight loss photo :(. I'm trying to laugh it off.
Has anyone else had a "miss" w the "after" photo?
Serendipity to be vulnerable. When it was coming out of my mouth, admitting my absence for years, i felt like maybe i should be quiet. But she really understood.
She resisted her parent's cult, and thankfully the dad was "in" the cult but didn't live in community with the actual ppl.
But her siblings participated, and there are legal ramifications.
However, my cult is still somewhat active in nearby town- and she was shocked to realize what poses as a martial arts studio runs deeper.
She asked me, "what were they into". Big question! Basically eastern modalities, clean eating and the end of the world. But a whole conversations more.
I don't live in that town anymore. I visit rarely!
I spent the day hiking with a friend who has gained weight- an injury w a major setback in fitness.
I really feel badly for him, but he goes back and forth to telling me I'm an annoying eater and i inspire him. It's confusing.
without asking, he gave me a bottle of green juice he made. I said thank you, took a sip and asked why it was sweet. He said it was pineapple and apple plus green veg. I said, i can't drink sweet stuff, but thanks it was thoughtful and gave it back. He literally told me i was difficult.
I just stayed quiet about it as i'd already said my honest peace.
Then he said, "now i'm feeling self conscious, are you trying to tell me i shouldn't eat anything sweet either because i'm fat?
Patiently i explained he can do what he wants and that i hope he doesn't either take personal protocol as a hint to him. I also said, "how i eat shouldn't affect you. Does it trigger you to control what i consume? I hope it doesn't"
When we joined a group for dinner he kept telling me to not pay a dime because i wouldn't eat. Again. A loop of me saying, "I'll decide" and him pleading me not to pay anything.
Turns out there weren't any appetizers i could eat so i didn't. I did pay my share, it's okay, my choice. I joined and just enjoyed the company. He kept pestering me about paying afterwards.
I left the day feeling exausted by him.
Is this common?
Worked at a company years ago that was very popular & intense...we have a reunion coming up.
I actually fit into the jeans i used to wear back then as a 20something. I think it will be funny to wear my casual friday 'fit from back in day. Wondering if anyone else will notice? Kind of something i want to do for fun.
main activity -dinner and cocktail hour, neither of which i like. Not only am i sugar free, but i do intermittent fasting now which doesn't include late night dinner.
So i'm all shades of insecure- we have a day tour of our old work place which was a zany unique place. Can't wait for that, but i have to go home, skip the night stuff and i feel sad.
The old me would have been IN for a night of indulgence, but now i have a totally diff health protocol
Wondering if i'm too rigid re health?
i did weed out associates who were rude about my food choices. You know, sugar pushers and or ppl who just were nasty on the regular re sugar free.
It was as hard as cold turkey quitting sugar, deciding to cut ppl out of my life. That was bigger than quitting sugar, tho both happened around same time--just took me awhile to wake up.
many of those same ppl want to get back into my life, and maybe they're ready to behave more respectfully. But i've moved on!
The impulse to over eat was a monster. I'd go a few days or even few months, then boom, OOC binge :( A recovery professional told me the issue was my "good food vs bad food" mentality.
I sort of agree w this assessment, and it's part of many food recovery rehabs, tho i never attended one! Couldn't afford it, nor could I take time off work etc
So i saw one therapist who suggested the good food vs bad food method, meaning, make all food neutral and just have 3 meals/day, maybe with a snack in between.
I think it kind of helped me not restrict then binge, but gradually most meals were sugary, and i had to gag down "healthy" foods.
Guess i finally felt "ready" to quit sugar as i hadn't binged in years!
it was super hard to detox from sugar, but i prepped with a workbook i got on amazon, kind of a simple step by step. YEs it was kind of situationally depressing, but i made it thru in about 3-10 days, gradual lessening of pain.
NOW i realize that sugar increased my appetite before i detoxed. I could barely NOT snack in between meals, and i was constantly "hangry", on edge and just unable to regulate. Even in BED recovery, i drank sugary things all day to cope.
TODAY ,i realise my palate is totatlly different. Without sugar i crave quality nutrition, it's no longer a battle. I'm more even keeled. I don't even get an upset tummy after a full meal like the old days. I can have a regular meal, take a 10m walk and my digestion is golden.
Ppl here seem to have a version of BED, and i want to share my personal story that sugar detox is so important- tho i was ready! I used to fear meals, now i'm neutral & content
I know rehabs can't suggest quitting sugar- maybe it sets up a "restrict & binge" cycle for ppl who aren't ready?
The impulse to over eat was a monster. I'd go a few days or even few months, then boom, OOC binge :( A recovery professional told me the issue was my "good food vs bad food" mentality.
I sort of agree w this assessment, and it's part of many food recovery rehabs, tho i never attended one! Couldn't afford it, nor could I take time off work etc
So i saw one therapist who suggested the good food vs bad food method, meaning, make all food neutral and just have 3 meals/day, maybe with a snack in between.
I think it kind of helped me not restrict then binge, but gradually most meals were sugary, and i had to gag down "healthy" foods.
Guess i finally felt "ready" to quit sugar as i hadn't binged in years!
it was super hard to detox from sugar, but i prepped with a workbook i got on amazon, kind of a simple step by step. YEs it was kind of situationally depressing, but i made it thru in about 3-10 days, gradual lessening of pain.
NOW i realize that sugar increased my appetite before i detoxed. I could barely NOT snack in between meals, and i was constantly "hangry", on edge and just unable to regulate. Even in BED recovery, i drank sugary things all day to cope.
TODAY ,i realise my palate is totatlly different. Without sugar i crave quality nutrition, it's no longer a battle. I'm more even keeled. I don't even get an upset tummy after a full meal like the old days. I can have a regular meal, take a 10m walk and my digestion is golden.
Ppl here seem to have a version of BED, and i want to share my personal story that sugar detox is so important- tho i was ready! I used to fear meals, now i'm neutral & content
I know rehabs can't suggest quitting sugar- maybe it sets up a "restrict & binge" cycle for ppl who aren't ready?
The impulse to over eat was a monster. I'd go a few days or even few months, then boom, OOC binge :( A recovery professional told me the issue was my "good food vs bad food" mentality.
I sort of agree w this assessment, and it's part of many food recovery rehabs, tho i never attended one! Couldn't afford it, nor could I take time off work etc
So i saw one therapist who suggested the good food vs bad food method, meaning, make all food neutral and just have 3 meals/day, maybe with a snack in between.
I think it kind of helped me not restrict then binge, but gradually most meals were sugary, and i had to gag down "healthy" foods.
Guess i finally felt "ready" to quit sugar as i hadn't binged in years!
it was super hard to detox from sugar, but i prepped with a workbook i got on amazon, kind of a simple step by step. YEs it was kind of situationally depressing, but i made it thru in about 3-10 days, gradual lessening of pain.
NOW i realize that sugar increased my appetite before i detoxed. I could barely NOT snack in between meals, and i was constantly "hangry", on edge and just unable to regulate. Even in BED recovery, i drank sugary things all day to cope.
TODAY ,i realise my palate is totatlly different. Without sugar i crave quality nutrition, it's no longer a battle. I'm more even keeled. I don't even get an upset tummy after a full meal like the old days. I can have a regular meal, take a 10m walk and my digestion is golden.
Ppl here seem to have a version of BED, and i want to share my personal story that sugar detox is so important- tho i was ready! I used to fear meals, now i'm neutral & content
I know rehabs can't suggest quitting sugar- maybe it sets up a "restrict & binge" cycle for ppl who aren't ready?
I find I can keep pause - or keep my mouth shut during conflict.
I had a co-worker just go on & on about how much he thinks i'm a problem. He was triggered and started ad hominem attack , he even insulted my ethnicity etc. Just a gross anger rant
If was overly triggered -like the old sugar addict i was--I might have hurled insults right back. I just kept my breath and watched guy sip sugary coffee in between hurling insults with his eyes flashing, yelling etc.
He yelled himself into a write up with HR. The company assured me they all saw and heard his unacceptable behavior. It was as obvious as day, whilst i remained a pro
I don't super care about a co-worker, but i can remain calm working things out w nearest & dearest. My relationship w my family improves on an upward trajectory.
This nervous system regulation used to evade me- i tried everything in the past. Now i finally found pure gold!!
My fam, they understand my lifelong struggles w food. Typically they ignore it, thankfully. But I know they'll make a big deal out of dinner & snacks.
Truth is, i don't want to miss out spending quality time
But i IF, 2MAD, and finish eating window around 11 or 1 on a crazy day.
I haven't taken after pics, but factually i feel better, more even keeled. I like how i look in most photos- not thin, just healthy & trim tummy etc.
I don't want to make it weird, but don't want to blow this winning streak either!
Frankly i don't like late nights either. i like early. Should i just be brave & be myself? Some of them are early like me- they catch early surf etc
I didn't tell the courts it was a cult. I simply kept records- calendars, screen shots, emails.
The cult had a religious center plus took over a private school.
Thankfully i kept records instead of just crying to the authorities.
This broke up the cult, but they moved into a remote country
-formula fed baby (sugar)
-candy crazed kid
-boozer teen & adult
-binge eating disordered young adult (sugar by the silo)
-smoker (added sugars doncha know 🌸)
-ex smoker but fitness fanatic (sugared power drinks, power bars etc)
I got a book on amazon on how to get real with temp sugar withdrawals & how to stay positive ODAAT (one day at a time 🌸)
not every little workbook works for everyone, but i needed to get realistic. I relied on sugar my entire life. I even incorporated it in binge eating recovery! Problem is i mostly just wanted sugar for fuel, and had to force dense nutrition. My palate was sugar sugar sugar--today i seriously feel sugar has the allure of plastic mixed w a sickeningly sweet oil.
If i can feel this way....AMA!!
THEN put you on 1099 (from employee) and asked you do the same 2hrs, same tasks?
The studio i just quit is a bit casual, I guess?
Still, the drama is the couple who own the shala go on vacation a lot.
a few mos ago they told us we were all bad employees and put us on 1099. Then they hired actual desk staff for what were were "bad" at- computer intake, cleaning etc. Yes mistakes were made, but they told me they needed to save money and wanted a desk staff anyway.
the ppl they hired were 1/2 volunteers & some dad bud of the owner who just started going on vacay, then quit.
I got a promo at my day job around when we became 1099 and had to get to my 9-5 on time vs waiting till students left after class & doing laundry. I made it to my job on time for the few mos we had that dad bud on staff to do intake & ck clients in & out.
THEN the owners told us we had to plan to go back to covering desk/cleaning cuz their friend was moving to the mainland, thus we never knew when we had to arrive early/stay later than class. The desk volunteers were unpredictable, even tho they got class for free
I told the couple (owners) i can't stay late randomly or ever- i needed to stick to the "arrive &leave" as per the 1099 agreement (we signed it too). My job needed me & i committed.
So i was not "renewed" for my contract because i can't cover the old employee tasks for later hours.
What happened? I'm casual too, but was this right of them to let me go because i can't cover the desk and cleaning staff (who dissappeared)
*before you ask if i'm AI, i'm not. YES i asked this before because I feel helpless. I loved that casual place but it got weird and trying to understand if it was ME who is "inflexible"
Now i want to add white halo highlights, crown & money piece to silver/white.
Issue is to tone the bozo red to a light ash brown. I will continue white highlights until past shoulder grow out.
how do i keep the highlights white whilst toning out the bozo?
Any tips?
The 1st 10 ten days of sugar detox, i wasn't "fighting" either. I succumbed to the vulnerable feeling of pain & longing. I followed a workbook that warned detox would be hard, so i just rode it out.
Now that my palate literally transformed, i'm actually relaxed & casual about food/eating. I meal prep so i don't have to face low to no options at my workplace cafeteria or surrounding food courts.
Truly the only time i feel stress around eating is when ppl are critical and pushing food options. One person just told me i was "afraid of calories". Yikes. I've had to weed out some associates because of their issues to get triggered.
I genuinely get bullied on random occasions. However, even this is now something i getting bored of and i just shake my head & move on
So i'm actually more chilled out despite what many view as a hard path in life or whatever
Do you get rando reactions re SF?