u/profDyer

I’m 40, married, one kid (2) and another might be coming. We live in Sweden. I saved, I cut spending, I invested, and now I’m… comfortable... and don't know what to aim for next, financially speaking.

Situation:

• Net worth: ~400k€ (of which 250k€ mainly invested in equity, and 150€ in RE) + 150k locked in pension (invested equity).
• Take-home: ~4k€/month.
• Spend: <2k€/month (the rest goes to investments).

I’m quite frugal, but I’m also quite happy about it. My passions are simple and my philosophy is that money should keep life simple and problem free as much as possible. This is me. My wife's situation is similar, but younger (less pension), with slightly more income, but with much more upward mobility potential. So our combined household is a quite snuggle 750k give or take excluding pension.

We don’t own a car, we live in a rather nice flat with good garden spaces and a gym, we buy whatever we want to eat... I don’t want for anything. But I also don’t see the next financial step. I’m also not sure what to work toward and how.

On one hand, my level of spending is covering my needs and wants, and my level of saving is letting me potentially be financially independent quite soon. In any case I don't plan to retire early, I like to work and be useful.

On the other hand, I see the next level as unattainable. Getting true steps up in terms of quality of life, where money buys other people's work, would require a very different level of income here that is unattainable for me. Not to mention where money start buying influence.

Maybe Sweden makes this even more obvious. Here there's no really better schools for kids: they are all free. No better healthcare that money can buy (in a reasonable range). At least that I know of.

Nothing really burns a hole in my pocket and don't know what I'm saving toward anymore.

• Is anyone with the same situation with similar or different sentiments?
• If you were me, would you just coast along financially and focus on something else in life, or would you have some idea in mind?

My paper was just “reviewed” by an AI (ante fact here) for the second time. The first report was a travesty: vague, formulaic, and utterly unable to engage with my figures or methods. All the classic AI tells were there. It was a major journal in my field as well (Physical Review)!

I replied meticulously, pointing out the substantial issues and pleading with the editor not to send it back to the same “reviewer.” Of course, they did it anyway. The second report was a bit better and wasn't 4 pages of repetitions but has the exact same problems. The editor did not address immediately the concerns I wrote them.

When I asked to acknowledge my reply to the editor, the editor’s response boiled down to: “Suck it up! It’ll probably be accepted, so what’s the problem?” As if I should just shut up and be grateful that I get to publish. As if I'm wasting everyone's time by bringing up a clear violation of academic conduct.

I'm a tenured professor, I’ve dealt with bad reviewers before... but this… this broke something in me. If we’re just gears in a stochastic parrot mechanism, what’s the point of caring about quality at all? Nobody cares about anything other than collect publication points and how it happens doesn't matter?

Now, a different editor at the same journal, which I know personally, has asked me to do a second round of referee for a paper (I usually do ~1/month for them.).

Do I:

• Call them out? Write to this editor and explain that this experience has made me unwilling to spend time and energy refereeing for the journal, or
• Ghost them? Just decline quietly and let no one be the wiser?
• Suck it up? This is your life now, AI's slave.

This was soul crushing pt. 2.

I need this community’s advice: what would you do?

My brother is relocating to London. He rented a van from the UK and he is coming to Italy to take stuff to bring in his new home. It is 1500km (1000 miles) journey each way give or take.

Considering that he is doing the back and forth in 4 days I offered to help. I was worried for him to do the long journey alone. I booked flight back and hotel myself, spending 200£, and 3 vacation days... kinda like a housewarming gift.

My plan was kinda like a bros road trip, drive through France at leisurely pace, listen to Edith Piaf, find a good countryside stop, eat snails, sleep in Calais, take an early ferry kinda thing... His plan is never stopping because he is afraid to get robbed. Fine. All nighter it is... I made a promise after all and he's the boss.

He discovered after a bit ​that he rented a van without air conditioning (​AC). I told him to turn back immediately and change it or I would not help him. He did not and he's here with the terrible truck (who knew they still make them in 2026?).

For context, right now France is suffering an historic heat wave that is killing thousands with temperatures above 40 degrees (104 F) and I feel it is ​hellish. It might be better weather in the upcoming days... or worse... I also have health problems so it is risking to trigger not only a bad trip, but a bad month. However, this also makes me all the more worried for him!

I "​promised" (it was not a blood pact or anything, just a yes) to help to drive, it's even more important without AC, but I did​ ​not sign up to go on a self destructive family adventure that seems to be the plot of a shameless episode.

So, WIBTA if I just walk back on my promise, considering the conditions?

Långt inlägg på ingående. Söker lite karriärråd och insikter från er som har koll.

Vem jag är

Jag är 40 år och jobbar för närvarande som tillsvidareanställd universitetslektor/docent (Associate Professor) i teoretisk/beräkningsfysik vid ett stort universitet​. Av en blandning av interna skäl (knappa resurser, låg lön i förhållande till ansvar och arbetsbörda) och externa skäl (behöver mer geografisk flexibilitet) har jag börjat se mig om efter annat.

Min forskning är extremt beräkningsintensiv; jag har använt beräkningskluster ("compute clusters") flitigt i över 15 år och tycker genuint att det är roligt. Tack vare den bakgrunden hoppade jag för ungefär 10 år sedan in i en startup som slutade med en väldigt framgångsrik exit till ett FAANG-liknande bolag runt 2020.

Utöver tekniken hanterar jag även det vanliga "akademikerpaketet": personalansvar, budget, anslagssökningar, undervisning och träning nyanställda, rekrytering, strategi som ordförande i vissa kommittéer, samt styrelse-/representantuppdrag på universitets- och nationell nivå.

Vad jag söker

Saker jag värderar i ett jobb baseras på dessa fyra ingredienser:

• Tekniskt intresse & extremt kompetenta kollegor: Jag avskyr kontorspolitik och att behöva ha att göra med människor som lägger mer tid på att profilera sig än att faktiskt bygga saker.
• Geografisk flexibilitet: Distansarbete (EU) eller mycket överförbara kompetenser. Av familjeskäl kan jag behöva flytta till ett annat EU-land om 2-3 år, och eventuellt tillbaka till Sydeuropa (norra Italien) om 5-10 år. Rörligheten inom akademin är komplicerad och omöjlig att planera.
• Positiv påverkan (Impact): Jag vill kunna se tillbaka om 10 år och inte ångra mina val.
• Lön & Karriärutveckling ("Upward mobility"): Tjänar för närvarande runt ca 60k SEK i månaden​. Jag letar efter tillväxt, eftersom befordringsmöjligheterna i min nuvarande akademiska roll är i princip obefintliga.

Notis om kompromisser: Man kan förstås inte alltid dra högsta vinsten, och ett realistiskt jobb kommer vara starkare på ett område än ett annat. Jag är villig att offra vissa punkter om lönen multipliceras, precis som jag gladeligen skulle ta en rejäl lönesänkning för en roll i en NGO eller institution där jag ser ett tydligt, icke-vinstdrivande syfte och stort utveckling och framtid. Jag vill inte bli utnyttjad eller rea ut min kompetens, men jag behöver inte nödvändigtvis en massiv lön (kanske inte ens en lön alls) om uppdraget är det rätta och jag ser verklig påverkan och potential. Min reservplan är att bli gymnasielärare, vilket i Italien ger ungefär halva min nuvarande lön, men där ser jag ett tydligt positivt värde. Å andra sidan skulle jag inte gå in i trading eller "big ​corporate" för mycket mindre än 100k (eller mycket mer för trading), eftersom jag redan har bevisat att jag kan översätta matte till miljontals euro.

Haken / Varför jag ber om hjälp

Ärligt talat vet jag inte riktigt var jag ska leta. Jag har undersökt flera alternativ, men det är ofta en enorm missmatchning mellan min profil och arbetsmarknaden:

• Entry-level/Mid-roller uppfyller inte mina behov och ignorerar min bakgrund.
• Mid-Senior corporate-roller kräver ofta tung "stakeholder management" och traditionell företagserfarenhet, vilket jag saknar. Under min startup-tid spelade vi inte corporate-spelet; jag var i princip "autistic-in-chief". Jag satt djupt i min bubbla och drog algoritmer ur en magisk hatt tills vi blev​ uppköpta.

Jag har kikat på kvantitativ finans och energimarknader. Även om det finns en del överlappning med min beräkningsbakgrund verkar kompromisserna (särskilt gällande work-life balance och impact) inte alltid vara värda det.

Kvantteknik (Quantum technology) på ansedda ställen är den enda möjligheten där jag har bäst ämneskompetens, men marknaden är liten och osäkert.

Ren mjukvaruutveckling (CS/Dev) känns som självmord i det här läget, då jag skulle behöva grinda Leetcode rejält. Alla och deras mormor håller på med AI just nu; jag har redan jobbat massor med relevant linjär algebra, tensorer, statistik och machine learning teori, men få verkar förstå eller nytta ​det i industribranchen.

Jag har sökt jobb i denna branschen​ utan att få varken intervjuer eller feedback. Märkligt nog gäller detta även för positioner som ligger långt under min erfarenhetsnivå.

Vad tror ni om den här situationen? Har ni några förslag på specifika branscher, nischer eller exakta jobbtitlar som skulle kunna passa min märkliga hybridbakgrund? Har någon av er gjort ett liknande hopp? Känner ni någon jag skulle lyssna på eller even​ ​tala med?

TL;DR: 40-årig professor/docent i fysik med tung beräkningserfarenhet och en tech-startup-exit i bagaget. Vill lämna akademin för bättre flexibilitet och karriärutveckling (EU/Remote). Har svårt att matcha min okonventionella seniora profil med standardroller i näringslivet. Söker förslag på branscher/titlar och alla råd ni kan ge.

PS: ursäkt att svenska är inte min första språk. AI har granskat språket men det kunne vara några fel.

Getting an ERC might be a pipe dream, but it is a golden ticket to change institution.

Let's consider the situation of a relatively established academic with a permanent position in institution A, and would like to move to institution B in the case you get the cash, should you:

• A: Apply with your current institution, you can always change later because rules are flexible.
• B: Apply to the institution you want to land to, if you fail you at least gave a powerful signal.
• C: Doesn't matter, nobody cares, just go with the best support.

If I apply to B I'm afraid that A will know and the powers that be would not be happy and vice-versa.

I submitted a paper ​to the standard high quality journal in my field, Physical Review A-E.

It's a substantial piece of writing, with tens of figures and many equations, but I poured my heart into it and I think it was one of my best written work. We spent a lot of time polishing it for smooth reading, even​ role-playing as "hostile referees" to stress tests the arguments and wording and we really went further than what we usually do.

Then the referee report came back.

It starts with clear indications of being AI generated ("It's not small work, it's a large contribution; the physics is strong." kind of thing) and went on ever worse. 4 page of full text long with 14+7 points of contentions. Superficially, it seems the points raised are substantial. But the more I went on reading and thinking how to address them, the more it became clear that this was just mimicking the trappings of a referee. It was massively repetitive, some of the points were absurd demands, including:

• "put all the data for all the figures (30+ of them) in tables" to be able to reproduce them"
• "double the amount of calculations (and figures) to check for convergence", despite it being verified.
• Many other points were word plays that were twisting or ignoring parts of our paper to attack other parts.

It was not just your average hostile or even incompetent referee. It was pure slop, a parody of peer review with 4 pages of shallow unreasonable content and a couple of minor effective suggestions. After consulting with colleagues we decided to engage seriously to all these unserious points. I spent a week drafting a 8 pages reply to this slop, while flagging our concerns to the editor and requesting a rapid resolution without another process. It is about a month I've replied and I see it has been sent to referee. I don't know whether it is the same but I feel really distraught by the matter.

The new APS guidelines on generative AI just put their head under the sand and requests authors to reply as if there was intelligent thought behind it. This experience tells me that if this is allowed to continue unchecked, publishing is dead. It was already a grind, but at least it was a potentially meaningful process. Now it feels I'm the servant of a statistic parrot, another Shakespeare writing monkey. Our career went another step further away from any meaningful endeavor.

This was soul crushing.

Has anyone else encountered AI-generated referee reports? How did you handle it?

I’m an EU citizen living in Sweden with my family for about 8 years. We have a small child, and since becoming parents, my in-laws (an elderly Mediterranean couple) have been visiting us a lot. They aren't relocating permanently, but they stay for weeks at a time—amounting to several months out of the year (just under the threshold to retain residency in their home country).

Currently, they are "renting" (second-hand) the 60sqm bostadsrätt we used to live in before we upsized to a family apartment. However, our association's permission for the sublease expires next year, and we will be forced to sell it.

It is way too expensive for them to buy it from us and maintain a pricey bostadsrätt indefinitely, especially in/around the city. We’ve looked into smaller apartments, but even then, you're looking at a couple of million SEK plus a 3,000–4,000+ SEK avgift. Paying that much for a place that sits empty for a large chunk of the year just doesn't make financial sense, and my in-laws are lifelong penny-pinchers, so the high avgift is a major turn-off.

This led me to consider alternative ideas:

• A Kolonistuga**:** These can be incredibly cheap and have minimal fees, but the major catch is that you usually can't stay in them during the winter.
• A standalone Stuga**:** A bit further out but within a reasonable distance. Prices seem more sensible, and it drops the avgift. However, I’m worried about winter-proofing and hidden expenses. Do you have experiences with them?

If it is allowed we could have the ownership and have them as guests, maybe in the Stuga, and I'm a bit worried about the Koloni whether they allow non residents. The main goal is minimizing the costs, especially the monthly ones, while giving them a dedicated space, since they don't need residency (on the contrary). Furthermore, we ourselves might move in the future but I would nonetheless love to keep a space in Sweden to vacation and visit, since here we had a big and an eventful chunk of our life, even for when we're not residents anymore.

Has anyone dealt with a similar setup? Do you have experience using a stuga for long-term seasonal visits, or are there other creative housing/legal strategies in Sweden we might be overlooking?

Thanks in advance!

TL;DR: In-laws visit Sweden several months a year. They currently rent our old bostadsrätt second-hand, but the permit expires next year and we must sell. Buying a smaller apartment means paying a high buying price and a monthly avgift for an empty flat. Considering a stuga or kolonistuga instead to lower monthly costs. Looking for advice or creative alternatives!

Long post incoming, looking for some career advice or insights.

Who I am

I’m 40 and currently an Associate Professor in theoretical/computational physics at a major university in Northern Europe. For a mix of internal reasons (scarce resources, low pay for the level of responsibility and workload) and external ones (I need more geographic flexibility), I’m starting to look around.

My research is highly computational; I’ve been heavily using compute clusters for 15+ years and I genuinely enjoy it. Thanks to this background, about 10 years ago I joined a startup that ended up having a very successful exit to a FAANG-like company around 2020.

Aside from the tech side, I also handle the standard "Professor package": team management, budget allocation, grant writing, communication, teaching, hiring, strategy with chairs in some committees, representative/board roles at university and national level.

What I am looking for

Ideally, a combination of these four ingredients:

• Technical interest & highly competent colleagues: I absolutely despise office politics and dealing with people who spend more time posturing than actually building stuff.
• Geographic flexibility: Remote work (EU) or a highly transferable skill set. For family reasons, I might need to move to another EU country in 2-3 years, and eventually back to Southern Europe (Northern Italy) in 5-10 years. Mobility in academia is complicated and impossible to plan for.
• Positive impact: I want to look back in 10 years and not regret my choices.
• Pay & Upward mobility: Currently making around €65k-70k gross. I'm looking for growth, as upward mobility in my current academic position is practically non-existent.

Note on compromises: I am willing to sacrifice some points if the pay multiplies, just as I’d happily take a significant pay cut for a role in an NGO or institution where I see a clear, non-profit purpose. I don't want to be exploited or undersell my skills, but I don't strictly need a big salary (maybe not even a salary) if the mission is right. My backup plan is high school teaching which is Italy is around half my current salary, but where I see a clear positive value. But I would not go into trading for less than 100k+ obviously.

The Catch / Why I'm asking for help

Honestly, I don't quite know where to look. I’ve explored several options, but there’s often a huge mismatch between my profile and the job market:

Entry-level/Mid roles don't satisfy my needs and ignore my background.

Senior corporate roles often require heavy "stakeholder management" and traditional corporate experience, which I lack. During my startup days, we weren't playing the corporate game I was the happy-go autistic in chief. I was basically pulling and writing algorithms out of a magic hat until we got bought out.

I’ve looked into quantitative finance and energy markets. While there’s some overlap with my computational background, the trade-offs (especially regarding work-life balance and impact) don't always seem worth it. Pure CS/Dev play seem suicide at this point, and I would need to seriously grind leet code. Everyone and his uncle are doing AI right now, I already did plenty of relevant linear algebra, tensors, statistics and learning theory, but few people seem to understand it.

CV I sent occasionally in the last couple of years for technical roles have fallen in deaf ears.

What do you think of this situation? Do you have any suggestions on specific industries, niches, or exact job titles that might fit my weird hybrid background? Has anyone made a similar jump?

TL;DR: 40yo Physics Professor with heavy computational experience and a past tech startup exit. Want to leave academia for better flexibility and upward mobility (EU/Remote). Finding it hard to match my unconventional senior profile with standard corporate roles. Looking for industry/title suggestions

I've​ used Facebook on and off since forever. I held tight across the years of ​​enshittification because I still hold social and parasocial relationship with people and groups there that are difficult to replicate on other social.

I've always refused to have a bloated app on my phone and have ​used it ​via web. The friction is welcome. In the last few ​month it has become from annoying to totally unusable.

On Firefox and Edge (or whatever the name) makes my PC ​fan worse than playing a game (I have a new gaming PC and my temp spikes more on Facebook than on Space Marines II Ultra settings)​. Sometimes t​here a delay with writing that makes replying impossible. I write 3 Lines on the keyboard in 5 seconds ​​and It takes 1 minute to fill them up on screen (literally), if I can even reach ​​the notification or group I want to post by clicking with terrible delay and fail rate.

Chrome works more reasonbly, but come on... A trillion dollar company works like this and​ when I was a webmaster in the '90 I had to check all the browsers and settings...

Then few days ago AI generated ​porn ads started appearing on my feed. Really explicit images and videos, as explicit and graphic as it gets! ​I looked at my ads settings and they are very vanilla, with "less personalized ads" and only one​ interest in "parental products" or something similar. ​I tried to refresh the experience to no avail.

So three questions:

1- what the actual forck?

2- anyone else with this problem?

3- how do you solve it?

Jag var hos en tandhygienist idag och fick betala 2 800 kr. Nu undrar jag om det här är normalt i Sverige eller om jag har blivit lurad.

Det var första gången jag gick till tandhygienist i Sverige. Jag kommer från ett annat EU‑land där jag alltid har betalat betydligt mindre. Vanligt tandvård med tandläkare är runt 1000 sek.

Själva tandrengöringen kostade 1 700 kr för 45 minuter, vilket känns ganska dyrt jämfört med till exempel Tyskland där det brukar ligga runt 100 euro. Samtidigt vet jag att tjänster ofta är dyrare i Sverige.

Men utöver det tog de 900 kr för en undersökning och 300 kr för ”information och instruktion”. Det tog max fem minuter totalt, och 1 200 kr för fem minuter känns inte rimligt.

Dessutom gjorde jag en fullständig undersökning hos tandläkaren bara en månad tidigare, med röntgen och allt (och det var tandläkaren som rekommenderade hygienisten). Det fanns alltså inget stort behov av en ny undersökning, vilket också märktes eftersom det gick så snabbt.

När jag kollar priser online ser jag betydligt lägre summor, så nu undrar jag om jag blev lurad. Om jag faktiskt blev det, vad kan jag göra?